∞

Its none of your business what things I do.

k that wasn't intentional. But everytime someone cares and asks me about hurting myself and my problems, I just feel like telling them that. My mood lately has been.. not good. Not good.

I thought that well, after the whole business with * died down, things would be better when I took it in a new perspective.

But ALAS! I had to be wrong.

Infact, life went topsy-turvy after that. Hur. So fun right?

Its like, the problems may seem little, but I've got more problems than stated. Piling up, one on top of the other..

I can't even eat well.

Guess what I told Elie?

"guess what I feel like doing?"
"POPPING PANADOLS :D"

And no Elie, I'm not doing Atiqah's AA thing. I've got a reason. Nono, infact, its reason(S).


CELINE! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN I NEED YOU GIRL.
Omg I miss you like hell. :(

Its like we shouldn't have stopped tuition. Cuz tuition is considered our bonding time. And just now I finally saw you during your AMKSS N.O.M.A.D.! (Night of Music, Arts and Dance) felt so good.

But you were backstage-ing and too busy to talk. Even had to call you cuz I was afraid of going there. Felt so weird to be non-AMKsian while everyone there was amksians. :o

Even had to call you to talk. But you couldn't talk for long cuz you needed to tell the modern dancers to standby. :((

Like, you're the only one who understands me. About everything.
You're the only one who consoles me when I need it, instead of adding salt to the wounds.


Maybe, maybe. What if I had used volleyball to DSA to AMKSS in the first place like I had wanted to?
(that was after getting back my results of which school i'm in during pri6. My dad talked me out of it cuz "Mayflower's a GOOD SCHOOL Gwen!")

I keep thinking about this you know, whenever I pass by AMKSS.

Would I have met a guy who totally ruined my life?
(Or someone who wouldn't hurt me for nut's sake.)
Would I have gotten so tanned doing something I love but at the same time have mixed feelings for?
(Or remain my old color and not be teased about being 'black'?)
Would I have so many problems, AND problematic teachers?
(Or more freedom and fun?)
Would I have met fucking lousy people?
Would I have met people who don't care what fuck nots, and therefore I'm literally friendless while everyone else has a best friend?
(Or would I have met the best family I could ever get, since most of my best pri school classmates/friends are in AMKSS like what Celine's experiencing?)
WOULD I ATTEMPT TO TRY SOMETHING??!
(Or would I just lead a secondary school life of laughter?)

I guess not.

I feel like transfering out. But whats the use of "feel"? My parents wouldn't understand me anyways. Hur.

Seeya around.