G E E B E E ▲ ∆



Gwendolyn N.
20 years young, a dreamer with a slight obsession for the lemniscate.


Monday, March 24, 2014

I miss how things were.

Back then when things seemed less serious, where I felt genuinely happy and I looked forward to spending quality time with you. When I couldn't stop smiling at my phone because everything you said made me so happy. Back then, when I cried, it was because I couldn't bear to part with you.

But right now, I'm just.. broken.

I'm trying so hard to stay, to be positive, telling myself it's just a phase we'll get through.

So please, help me out here.

Monday, March 17, 2014



It's been almost 6 years since someone sent me this song, telling me it was the song that reminded said person of me.

I haven't heard it in a few years, never made it a point to download it either. And yet, for some reason, this song popped in my head today and I felt an urge to go look for it.

I guess in times like these where I don't feel myself, old songs and the memories attached to them are rather.. comforting in a way.

I'm not okay.

I'm lost and struggling. It's been months, and I'm tired. I really am.

Sunday, February 02, 2014

Sanity

I Googled this and found this link: http://www.goodtherapy.org/therapy-for-emotional-overwhelm.html

Damn.

I've been feeling sad for the longest time and for some reason, nothing seems to make me feel better.

I know I'm strong enough. I've been working on handling my emotions better, and yes for months I did feel that I got better. I got mad less easily, I didn't jump on to rant at someone for no apparent reason and I found myself crying a lot less.

But for some reason I'm just.. terribly exhausted this time.

It's as if my body's telling me, "You weren't made to chuck your emotions aside, so now you're just gonna have to deal with being sad and emotional 24/7 until the sadness has left you."

My head hurts, my chest feels tight and it's just.. a horrible feeling.

I can't handle my emotions and they are terribly overwhelming.

I'm sorry to the people who've had to help me just because I'm not strong enough to do so myself, especially Min bb and mah bruddah Sebastien. I appreciate a crazy bro of mine who calls me and tells me he'll drive down from Tampines for me when it's freaking 1 in the morning.

And I'm sorry to the people like my family and my lovely boyfriend for having to tolerate me being needy and mean. I know I'm not the best me on days like these, but please, give me more time and your understanding.

I wish internship would end now so that I could take some time off, perhaps go out and have a few drinks with friends or to be alone at home exercising and spending quality alone time with, well, myself. Or to find some cheap staycation on Groupon where I can just run off to be alone.

I promise I'll fix myself soon enough, just give me some time to be my happy self again.


p.s. Did more research and more Googling and found a video. So for anyone who reads this and feels they might be in the same situation:


And another link: http://www.sharecare.com/health/human-emotions/how-stop-overwhelmed-intense-emotion

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

想当年。。。

My younger brother got his "O" Level results back today.

Frankly speaking, when I texted him earlier in the day while I was at work, asking him how it went and how his results were, I wasn't the least bit surprised at his reply.

Infact I just encouraged him to do what he felt was right (after a hour-long talk with him when I got home), and to keep in mind that no route is deemed the "wrong route".

Like brother like sister, huh?

I remember how it was when I got my "O's" results back.

It was horrible, I came out crying after realising that all the abbreviations on the slip of paper from MOE were course codes for ITE.

I felt like a failure due to the fact that majority of my cousins were really smart, hardworking and that they went to elite schools. I kept telling myself how full of fail I was, and that my parents must be ashamed of me and my "achievements".

My mom was strongly against the idea of me going down what she considered The ITE Route, and although I am thankful for the fact I decided to retake my "O's" instead of going to higher nitec, I never felt that (anyone) going to ITE was a bad route to begin with.

Your results don't define you, your actions do.

What if you were really smart, but yet snobbish, rude and downright mean at the same time? What if you're smart, and yet you abuse the people and/or animals around you?

So yes, don't discourage someone or put him/her down just because their GPA or examination scores are bad. I suppose what matters more is the kind of person he/she is. Does he/she treat his/her family well? Are they appreciative, grateful and loving? Are they kind to animals?

Ah, I don't know. It's 12:06AM and my brain is pretty much shutting off.



So today I finally applied to volunteer at Save Our Street Dogs (SOSD).

Coincidentally, Sha posted up a picture of the dogs there and after chatting with him for a bit I found out he's been a volunteer for almost 3 months!

If my application gets through and slots for kennel volunteers open up, I'll receive training and will be spending (hopefully) my Sundays and maybe a weekday or two at Pasir Ris Farmway (sigh why so far) volunteering with Sha since he only goes down on Sundays and told me I should go down on Sundays with him.

As much as I would like to be on the rescue team, I don't have a car or a motorbike, so responding to calls would be hard as I would probably have to bus/train/cab there. Sigh I really wanna help on the rescue team though! :(

In the meantime, I'll have to think of what part-time job I would wanna do while waiting for my graduation ceremony in May, and before uni starts in August.

Speaking of which, today I finally found time to turn my Mac on, finally found the time and the energy (it's mostly energy) to make myself a good bowl of plain yoghurt with fruits, granola and chocolate for dinner, and then set it beside my Mac.

Finally found the willpower in me to try to work on my university admissions portfolio for NTU ADM..

..then I sat infront of my Mac for almost 30mins, munching on my dinner while staring at the screen.

It's like, BRAIN Y U NO WORK?!

Wanted to work on my drawings but once again me being me, I couldn't pick what to draw. Sigh.. it looks like tonight's wasted.

Seriously need to get started though, but my creative juices ain't flowin' dawgggg!

Just glad that I have a few projects on hand thanks to Joey! She hooked me up with her cousin who does set-ups at weddings and parties, and now I have a promo video to film/make and a menu to design!

If anyone out there needs a video done (minimal visual effects) or some designs done up, feel free to contact me! (Shameless advertising here, I'm sorry.)

I may be doing it for free, but I'll consider it as something that can go into my portfolio. Pretty excited to finish doing up my portfolio and the ideas come rushing to my head all through the morning. Sadly they disappear the moment I sit down and decide: "Today's the night we start this thing, let's go!"

It's not happening, not tonight.

Off to bed!

Sunday, January 12, 2014

The Animal Resort and The Goose Whisperer

A few days back, ze boyfriend told me he was planning a surprise for me this weekend and absolutely refused to tell me where we were going or what our day would be like.

I'm a sucker for surprises, and yet I love spoilers? I don't know how that works really.

After one long bus ride (I love taking the bus with him hehe) and a long walk under the hot sun later, we found ourselves at The Animal Resort.

I love animals (except those with beaks, I just confirmed that I really am afraid of them today) and when I saw where he was taking me I couldn't be happier! It's something out of the norm for us cuz we normally stay in or go to malls nearest to our area. The moment I saw all the dogs at the entrance I wanted to die in a pool of joy!!!

(Wait, that doesn't make sense. Pardon me.. it's almost 12am.)

Before we bought food for the animals, we took a walk around to see what animals were out there.


An albino peacock! First time seeing one.



There were a couple more peacocks there!


There were a lot of rabbits there too. This one particular cage had 4 kits!

They were so cute!



Bought carrots for the bunnies and the only horse we saw on the resort:



The horse reminded me of the practicum days as one of our episodes was filmed at Gallop Stable.

Being the only horse there I would assume that it's quite lonely. Wish it had another horse to accompany it or something.

As much as I love horses, I'm scared to feed them. It's like the only animals I could gladly go up to feed were the bunnies because they're absolutely harmless! Confirm plus chop.

Everytime I placed the carrots near the horse I had this feeling it'll bite my hand or something. Russ ended up holding my hand out as I attempted to feed it as I kept laughing. The horse was hilarious!


They even had a cassowary there!

Like, how does one keep a cassowary?

The first and last time I heard of a cassowary was when I watched a YouTube video on how it attacks people with its claws, killing them in the process. Then I watched another video on how someone tried to interact with a few cassowaries and they were so aggressive to the point the person had to fend them off with shields and a rake or something.

Russ bought bread to feed the birds with, and he actually fed the cassowary.

He didn't feed it directly of course, but still!







Meet my boyfriend, The Goose Whisperer!


I don't know what's cuter: him feeding the geese, or them (plus the pigeons) following him wherever he went?

He was the Goose Whisperer for a day, leading a goose parade.

"Learn to speak goose for a dollar!"

It's actually heartwarming watching him enjoying and having fun as he feeds the ducks and geese (which I didn't dare feed).

There's just something about watching your boyfriend as he interacts with animals.

"You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him."




It rained after that, which wasn't a bad thing cuz we were done in about 1.5 hours or so?

I love dates like these because I see and learn so much more about him just when I thought I knew everything. I'm so thankful for the fact he was the one who planned this! Really enjoyed my day out with him hehe.

Wouldn't trade our dates for anything. :)

I'm not too sure if you read my blog anymore, but thank you for everything! Here's to many more awesome dates love!

Wednesday, January 01, 2014

201...4

Another year has passed and honestly speaking I thought that 2014 came way too quickly.

One good thing about having a personal blog is that it gives me the ability to reflect on my life/day as I blog and read back on old posts.

It enables me to see how far I've come and grown as an individual.

When I read my old blog posts, I would normally find myself cringing in disgust, wondering things like how was I such a person?! and oh God I typed like THAT? Ugh!

2013 was the year I made a lot of decisions and went through a lot that made me grow stronger both physically and mentally.

It was the year I hit the big two-ohs (20, I meant 20).

It was the year I struggled hard to find my old self back.

It was also the year I struggled hard to accept the fact that I can never find my old self back, and to realise that my efforts were futile, that I experienced so much inner conflictions for nothing.

It was the year I faced a lot of difficulties and became a little jaded.

It was also the year I learnt – the hard way – that having a few hundred followers on Instagram or a thousand or so Facebook friends meant absolutely nothing because how many of those people could you call or text when you need help, need someone to be there for you, and they would immediately respond to your cry of help as a genuine (oh hey it's 2014 and I still can't spell 'genuine' right) friend would?

But it was through all this that I realised..

..it's okay to struggle, it's okay to fight, and it definitely is okay for you to crumble and fall apart.

It's okay if you take your time to get better, to come to terms with what's going on. It's even okay for you to lose yourself.

Because things will eventually get better. As long as you believe in it, you definitely can make things happen regardless of what's standing in your way.


2013:

I lost friends, gained new ones, caught up with some old friends and became even closer to them.

I took chances, I became bold. I learnt to hang on for the ride no matter how tough it gets.


Was part of a committee for my AY12/13 (AY stands for Academic Year, since we start our year in April and end it in February the next year) where I felt the freedom of doing things as the committee wished (there are no real teachers-in-charge in poly CCA clubs). Did a lot of stupid things, organized club events, stayed back till late countless times for meetings and such.

To my 7 SDZ comm members: Pressy Azrul, Vice-Pressy Jacob(ee), (amazing) QM Choonlong the dragon, Welfare Dex, thank you for being there through all the ups and downs. We were an ambitious bunch I suppose. From having organized Waves, SDZ FOC.. all the other events I can't recall at this time; for tolerating the squabbles we had over the course of us being in the comm. I truly enjoyed all the meetings and late nights because you guys were so much fun. Handing down our comm roles was pretty bittersweet, and I'm glad we pulled through.

And now the current comm's about to hand down their roles soon.. how time flies.

On a side note, I love how this photo turned out. No one directed us to smile or to look serious, and the moment we looked at the photo the guys were like, "OI WHY YOU GIRLS SMILEEEE?!". Thing is the three of us didn't plan to smile together, and the guys didn't plan to look serious together.


Met a childhood friend again after not being in contact for almost a decade, got together with him and loved/received more love than ever from someone who isn't family. He's honestly the highlight of my year, and although I can be a really difficult person from time to time, I've never felt more thankful for a simple catch up lunch that happened almost 7 months ago.

Thank you for standing by me, being my pillar of strength whenever I needed you despite you being extremely busy yourself. I love you, and here's to many more good times together!


Struggled with a friendship for the span of almost the whole year, occasionally losing faith and wanting to give up. But hanging in there we both mended our friendship, now I feel truly happy whenever I see her and we're basically just celebrating our friendship and love for dance.


Went through the same thing with another close friend and after countless struggles and confrontations, agreed that 2014 would be a better year for our friendship, for us. And guess what? Things most certainly are looking up as of now.


Got a lot closer to a friend and am terribly thankful she's always there for me regardless of how tired or late it is. Learnt so much more from her than I ever would have learnt from anyone else.

After everything, I'm basically just thankful I'm surrounded by beautiful friends and family, to be here, to be alive.

Happy New Year to everyone reading this!

I don't really do new year resolutions due to the fact I never do stick to them, but here's one thing I'd like to keep in mind for this year:

"But what if we could stop, pause to take stock of each precious moment before it passes?"

2014: Make love your goal.

Tuesday, December 03, 2013

Slayedddd

I recently took on the biggest project ever (to me, that is).

T'was a crazy few weeks..

Had a couple late nights..

BUT I FINALLY CONQUERED IT! (After surviving the night on a half-hour power nap)

All you need to do when you get to the office is just.. tweak, get approval, export! Done!

Ah, it feels so good to be able to tell myself that while I sit here chilllllllin', typing this out on my MacBook that I've missed so dearly.

Nope, still not extremely fond of using a PC.

Y'know, as an intern I expected – and wanted – myself to get actual work to do but when I got this it was just.. massive. My initial cause of excitement in the office slowly became the bane of my existence, and it was a horrible experience because I felt extremely stressed out and disappointing people around me – those in the office, especially – isn't a fun thing to experience. I found that I wasn't able to think of any ideas, as if I had no inkling whatsoever of what creativity was in the first place.

I really miss my classmates, my groupmates especially because it is (and will always be) awesome being around them. I could go crazy whenever I wanted to and they would just join in or give me this siao ah you look and laugh it off. I miss being able to talk to Arynah and Steffi in our weirdass voices and them going "FLOOOORA, by GWIN".

Then again, as much as I would like for internship to end ASAP, I find myself getting more and more attached to my colleagues.

Turns out they're more fun a bunch than I thought they'd be, especially Jane cuz she's like the older sister I never had, always giving me encouragement and advice whenever she could tell that I was facing difficulties at work and would keep it to myself. When I first met her I thought I would never get to know her due to the fact I always had lunch with the dudes, but she joined us once and now we're the girl lunch group because y'know, girls enjoy taking more time to eat and to catch up/share stories over a meal.

It's amazing how when we discovered we had a chance of attending a local u thanks to NTU ADM, the three of us (plus Joranna, another intern who's coincidentally from SP DMIT, up the hill with DMC) immediately sat down and spent extra time in the office (after 6pm and not infront of our bosses, of course) discussing how we should go about doing the drawings, organizing our portfolio and all.

It's so scary and yet all so amazing at the same time. It's like I've been so lost the past half a year due to my bad grades. There wasn't a chance someone with my GPA was going to NTU Wee Kim Wee, and even lesser chance of me attending uni in NUS FASS for CNM. And these were the only places I ever intended to try out for especially WKW because which mass/media comm student doesn't know of WKW and how awesome it is tn?

Of course I'm still gonna try to appeal for WKW cuz it's definitely my dream course in uni.

It's amazing how I'm in the best class in DMC (yes DMC/FT/3B/01, as assistant class rep I'm really proud of our class) but I didn't do that well till I kinda woke up and realised how stupid I was in Year 1.

Everyone thinks that I'm kidding when I say my GPA's low. "Don't lie la, your version of low is like actually damn high right? Your class so zai!" sighhhh y'all thought wrong.

But yes, if anything I'm rather grateful I could at least attend NTU if I worked hard on the drawings and portfolio to submit! The thought of putting together a portfolio (my online one doesn't count) is like whoop whoop exciting!

Speaking of grateful, I realised how fortunate I am to be where I am really.

It's as if after all my angst from my project cleared up, I could sit down and just relax and think about what's been going on the past few days/week.

I have beautiful friends who are always there for me and who would take the initiative to offer me help when they felt I was struggling (thanks Ah Joey Tan for cooking dinner and the night of chillin'), friends who would text me to ask how I'm doing and holding up with everything..

I guess just when you think life's throwing – not giving – lemons at you, you find that you can actually take a freaking massive blender to like blend it all up instead of painfully juicing those lemons one by one.

.....ok wut.

Moving on!

My family too. You know you're blessed with an awesome family when your brother walks out of his room in the middle of the night, sees you falling asleep all over the table while you're working and offers to go get you coffee from the nearby Giant supermarket even though it's really late. And when you offer to walk with him he tells you to stay home cuz "You've got work to do, no worries I'll handle it."

It's like.. yeah, I suddenly see everything clearly.. everything that I've been taking for granted due to my stupidity.

A little positivity goes a long way, but a little negativity goes even further than that – not in the good way.

As much as I feel regretful of my behaviour and what I've said/done while angsty..

Well, all I have with and in me are time, a little hope and the confidence that I'll be able to make everything right in time to come.

Time to get ready for work!

Joranna told me she'd treat me to Starbucks cuz she knows how I've been feeling the past few weeks.. :') what did I do to deserve such awesome colleagues whom would hopefully end up being my classmates/schoolmates?

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Tick, Check!

Hi there!

Sorry for the lack of photos, ever since I brought Cammie baby (er, my DSLR) to Nepal and brought it back with a hairline crack in the lens, I haven't been able to take decent shots without having to go through the tedious process of photoshopping it away.

Thing is, I'm extremely OCD about stuff like that, and the whole cycle of shoot-edit-not good-edit again is really time consuming and right now what I don't have is the luxury of time.

I need to get a new camera, doubt I'll have enough money to get a Canon DSLR as I initially intended to due to the fact I'll be traveling to Korea for a week (grad trip woohoo!) and then Japan with the boyfriend after.. but if anyone has suggestions on good compact cameras that are somewhat DSLR quality, do let me know!


I've done a few things to tick off my bucket list/list of things to do!

☑ Watch a football match with friend(s) in our respective team jerseys:




If you did notice, I was wearing the jersey from the 09/10 home kit that my uncle bought for me as a "continue your hard work for 'O' Levels!" gift. It's my favourite Arsenal jersey, but I can't wear it out.

And yes if you were wondering, it has Nasri's number and name on it, which explains why I can't wear it out. Oh just some of the things I regret doing the most...

Getting his name and number on my favourite Arsenal jersey would be one of the stupidest mistakes of my life that would sadly stick with me till the day I die.


☑ Get a new phone



I finally got a new phone!

My dad's finally back in Singapore (he works overseas and comes home from time to time), and therefore I had the chance to change my phone which I desperately needed to do.

It's not that I'm spoilt and feel the need to get new stuff, but I've been using my iPhone 4 for almost 3-4 years and it's dying this really tragic, slow death in the form of extreme lag and shutting down applications as and when it deems fit. 

Can't really make calls out without people on the other end going, "Hello? Hello? Sorry are you still there cuz your voice is really muffled! HELLO?!" with their voices increasing in volume.

Since there was only stock for the space grey in 32GB, I decided (dejectedly) that I should just settle for it and convince myself it's my fate since I'm impatient and couldn't be bothered to wait anymore.

My parents were traveling to Genting for the weekend, so we rushed down to the nearest outlet located at Causeway Point which had stock for the 5S in space grey.

When we got there and saw the display model for the iPhone 5S Silver, I think my mom saw how sad and disappointed I was since I had to settle for black (and I really loved the gold one). 

Yeah I'll admit that whenever I'm disappointed, I can't hide it at all. It's just really obvious and the words "DISAPPOINTED, THIS GIRL IS" is written all over my forehead.

She went over to the counter and asked if they had any stock for any white iPhone models, in which the guy serving us replied, "Oh yeah I think we have one last one left for silver..... let me check." and I was like "Oh God there's one left? If it's silver I'll take it still!"

He came back giving this look, which made me feel like I should just give up and that the subtle puppy eyes look I was going for was failing me tragically.

"Hi erm yeah we have one last model.. for the gold one. Are you okay with that?"

HELL YES I TOTALLY AM.

I was so happy I hugged my mom and kissed her on the cheek, which I haven't done for a while and I guess she was a little taken aback since I seldom hug my parents.

After the signing of a few documents and the typical procedure of checking for scratches (I couldn't be bothered really, since it was the last model I just wanted it, scratches or not)...


..hello my beautiful iPhone 5S, and welcome to the family!

Pretty 5S box placed beside my old iPhone 4 boxes (yes, I had 2 of the same model cuz back in Year 1 it either got stolen or that I misplaced it and only realised hours later, felt really bad cuz my parents had to get me a new one a couple of months later even though it was my fault) for comparison. Look at that beauty!

Here's a selfie taken with my new phone because yeah most girls can't resist testing out the cameras on their new phones by taking numerous selfies:


I love how filters automatically clears out a lot of my acne scars, which are still visible on my chin.

The day my skin becomes that clear would be the happiest day of my life because I've had bad skin since I first broke out in pri 5 :( a few friends I've known since young have told me that it's getting better though and that my scars are only around my nose, chin and under my cheekbones now! YAY.

Ironically, it got better after I stopped dumping products all over my face. Before this I used like 5 different products before sleeping and they all made my acne/scars worse.

Don't learn from me though, everyone's skin reacts differently to different things.

Hope y'all have a good week ahead, and happy Sunday!

(Talk about abrupt endings.)

Monday, October 28, 2013

Hello Halloween + Internship Blues

Taking a moment from work to take a breather and to blog from my iPhone (whoa how long has it been since I last blogged from my iPhone — or at all?)

I started internship on 14th October and I will admit that I'm worn out/feeling the effects after just 2 weeks. I'm not terribly fond of working in an office environment and now that I'm in one I'm just thinking of what I could do in future that doesn't involve me being in a 9-5 office environment. It's just downright suffocating.

My colleagues are really fun though so no qualms about them.

Plus I don't have to bring work home as "homework"! Major plus point. Once I'm done for the day in the office I really am done. And there I was thinking how horrible it'll be if I started internship and had to come home to work even more (as observed from my mom who's also in the industry but she's an AE, short for accounts executive).

I'm starting to screw up though, which I'm really disappointed about because I'm such a perfectionist? Especially in things that I know I'm good in. I don't just screw up because I don't allow myself to?

I don't get how I'm able to screw up 2 times in two weeks.... just doesn't make sense to me.

And now I know how one small mistake could make one feel so bitter. When my colleague came over and told me how I am "lucky in a sense" because the client is leaving Singapore and would therefore just "pay us as per normal" despite there being errors in the video I've edited (minor ones), my mood for the day just totally fell.

I guess I feel terribly disappointed cuz I'm pretty sure I double — heck I think it's more than double — checked my edits before exporting it. I don't get how I could've been so careless.

Now I just feel like shit and all I wanna do is go home and rot away because when he initially told me the news I just wanted to cry right there and then because I felt so guilty and disappointed in myself.. but oh well. Lesson learnt: Double-checking is not enough; TRIPLE CHECK!


Then again, if there's one thing I can be proud about, it's the fact that I attended Halloween events for the first time in my life this week!


Went for the ones at *SCAPE and NLB (which I later found out was organized by my dance junior for her FYP) with ze bf, Jack and Dyl.

Had a lot of fun with my bros as usual!

I get super vulgar when I'm scared, so I'm pretty sure that was the most vulgar my boyfriend has ever seen me.

The events were good, but it was pretty late by the time we got to the one at NLB and I was sleepy to the point that nothing really scared me and I started to find everything funny rather than scary. Still haven't gotten over my fear of people in costumes :( I've always hated night walks or anything close, and I would come out of them crying or I would be stuck inside because I'm so scared I can't move.

The *SCAPE one scared me shitless!!! Paid $17 to get scared.

Spent half the time cursing or grabbing onto Russell and hiding behind him hurhur if a "ghost" or whatever appeared to my left I would immediately siam to his right to hide beside him hehe I love my personal human shield (who actually brought bandages along just incase I accidentally tore a limb off him). Think the guys had to like push me to move a few times because I was so scared my walking speed became -9000 and I slowed my group down so much that the couple behind us caught up! Embarrassing much :s

Hopefully next year I'd have more guts (and money) to go for the major Halloween events like USS and Sentosa!

Monday, October 07, 2013

ComCrop and Gym Fun!

Had such a fun Saturday!

Started off my morning feeling really unwell. My stomach has been horrible recently so I guess I should watch my food intake. Been considering taking a food intolerance/allergy test to see which foods I react negatively to because I'm quite sick of getting so bloated all the time, it's super uncomfortable.

Decided not to let my stomach get the better of me, so I got myself up and out early in the morning to head down to *Scape

Nope, not for dance, but to do CIP for comcrop with Team Nepal 5!

(Missing Herman and Wisely, who went for some army talk, Zuan and Atikah, who went to work and my AMK bruddah Yeeyuan)

Apart from the crazy heat we had to endure from 10am-2pm (most of us got really obvious tanlines, especially watch and glove ones), I thought it was pretty fun. Unlike my dad, I'm not one with a green thumb though.

It's crazy hard work – I got cut a few times by those plastic things you see infront of us in the photo.

After our debrief, we went to grab dessert at Honeymoon Dessert @ 313. Finally!

I love my crazy Nepal 5ers (fivers), especially my group of food buddies. We started out total strangers but now most of us have forged this bond.. it's crazy.

To digress a bit, we had Indian food @ Komalas last week and I'm having this mad craving for the cottage cheese curry that Aryanh ordered!


The rest of our food was disappointing, especially since I had briyani that was a lot better at Changi Airport's T3 Kopitiam (dad and I used to have that at work pretty often because it was so good).

Then again Arynah's delicious curry and the amazing company made up for the food that was so-so.

Getting back to Saturday, I accompanied Arynah to get her ukulele at Peninsula Shopping Centre after and nope, I didn't get mine which I'm kinda bummed out about cuz I don't have the excess cash to splurge on something like that :(

Saw this guy testing out the guitars before making his purchase and he was so good. Then he started playing Hotel California! *_*

I'm planning on restringing my guitar and learning it again. Either that or getting a ukulele since Alvin taught me some basic stuff (duuuude you were supposed to help me restring my guitar!) while we were in Nepal and I really enjoyed playing the ukulele even though my hands are kinda big for it.

Arynah kept laughing when she asked me to strum a chord or two while we tested the ukuleles and she said it was damn funny watching my hands bend uncomfortably because it was way bigger than the neck of the ukulele!

Oh well, can't wait for Alvin to teach me how to play the guitar again!

Headed back to meet the bros for dinner and ice-cream from AMK Hub for dessert. Yay to free pizzas! All we had to pay for was the sides that we ordered hehehe I mean who doesn't like (free) pizza!?

I love my sailing bros so much and I'm so thankful we got a lot closer after one random gathering! My sailing family will always be my first-second family :)


Sunday saw me waking up early for a gym session at Gymm Boxx XL with Cass and Jack!

So proud of Cass for pushing herself today! And thanks Jack for all the advice while we were there!


Gymm Boxx XL recently opened at the 4th floor of Bishan CC and it's soooo nice! Even the toilet's nice, which explained why Cass and I decided to camwhore in there hehe. Mandatory after-gym shot (and no I didn't gym in denim shorts, I just changed out after our session)!

Signed up for Zumba classes with Shanai at Bishan CC last week too – it's gonna be one crazy month rushing down from my office to class but it'll be worth it!

2007 (2004 for Shanai) till now :*

I've to work on strengthening my legs, which would in turn help my knee problem. My knees have been affecting me a lot the past few days and I can't walk without feeling pain in my right knee especially if I run or climb stairs.

It's really sickening because if I go out for a whole day my knees start to hurt so bad and it just affects my overall mood, but oh well :(

I'm now trying to eat as clean as possible, and to make better choices when I'm eating out!

Gonna go experiment on overnight oats now so toooooodleloooooooo!

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Back


Hi guys!

Just a little update to say that I'm back to the land of the WiFi, clean toilets, proper roads, air and light pollution.

Nepal has been awesome, but more on that later.

Right now I'm off for a good swim (burning off calories before I consume the pizza my mom decided to order)!

Sunday, September 15, 2013

To R,


Thank you for the past 3 months.

This is a scheduled post that I typed out before leaving for Nepal, but just know that right now I probably am missing you terribly (and maybe freezing my butt off too).

It's not like me to wish you a happy monthsary or something (we agreed that it was really silly and truthfully speaking, quite redundant), but 2 weeks without proper updates and communication's really hard – not only for you but me too really, and this is the first time we're having to do this as a couple.

Major dun dun dunnnn.

Being with you has been nothing but amazing, and I think that to myself on the 15th of every month.

You make me feel so loved, special and beautiful all the time – you don't wait till things like an anniversary or whatever to do that, and I really am thankful I'm with someone who loves me just as much as I love him. Sometimes I really don't know what I did to deserve you.

And oh, thanks for taking it all in whenever I get frustrated at you here and there. I'm pretty sure if it were someone else he would've dumped me.. literally. Like slapping me senseless, throwing me to the ground etc.

I'm typing this on Sept 8, so I'm pretty sure I'll miss you a whole lot once I'm in Nepal.

Hope you liked the gift! :*

I'll see you real soon – one week down, one week to go!

With lots of love,
Your lazy python Gwen

Sunday, September 01, 2013

Tanjong Pagar Cafe Hunt + Cake Spade

So I met Geisel at Tanjong Pagar with the intention of finding a cafe to have dinner and desserts.

She Whatsapped me a whole list of cafes on her to-go list! Though after I narrowed it down to Arbite and Artistry, we realised that Artistry closes at 7pm, and for some reason we decided to skip Arbite and just try our luck at Tanjong Pagar Road.

Okay fine, we both wanted to get cakes at Cake Spade (love the name), which she recommended. Since we are both dessert people...... PROPER FOOD > DESSERTS ANY TIME.

Ge: "Or should we just get cakes first then we go eat the lor mee?"

Gw: "Omg best idea ever. Let's go!"

Yup, because having your dessert after your main meal is way too mainstream.

And so began our little cafe hunt.

There were so many Korean BBQ restaurants around, I swear!

It's like down the whole stretch all we encountered were pub, pub, Korean BBQ, pub, cafe, Korean BBQ, Korean norebang (karaoke), Korean BBQ, drunk Korean people, Asian dessert cafe, more drunk Korean people, pub, Korean pub, pub, pub, Korean BBQ.

And. There. Were. MORE.

We were so tempted to have Korean food instead of trying to find a nice cosy cafe to have our dinner at!

I was sweaty by the time we got to Cake Spade cuz we walked up and down Tanjong Pagar Road AND the Duxton Area. Thank goodness we got seats inside!



What we had: 
Dark chocolate banana cake, Cupcake of the Day (Chocolate Peanut Butter) and strawberry tofu cheesecake.





The drink we ordered, as recommended by the guy working there! 

(Thanks for being so nice! Made us feel totally comfortable dining there)


Look at her happily opening it..


We kinda judged the drink because it had ginseng in it, and I – accidentally – proclaimed out loud "OMG EW NO IT HAS GINGER!" when the dude overheard us talking about which drink seemed nicer.

Thoughts, stay in my head will you????

All the drinks were stored in really pretty bottles omg it was like prettybottlegasm.

Felt so good chilling with her talking about everything – especially dance stuff because that's what dancers do best at any gathering with dancers – and reminiscing the past. All the things we did as Year 1 dancers with our ABCDEFG clique.. boy do I miss them big time! Especially my bros, like Zhicong :(

More than half of ABCD left SDZ, sigh. But then again it's a good thing cuz through that my batch wasn't two seperate cliques anymore as we started to mingle with the others that weren't in ABCD.

I'm so out of touch with anything dance and anything SDZ, and it kinda sucks.




And we were done!

(Don't worry, even though we couldn't finish the cupcake, I polished off the Kit Kat at least. THEN I entered a chocolate coma. It's been a while since I had too much chocolate really. I mean, how does one have too much chocolate? *inserts impossibru face*)


Lesson learnt: If you're getting a slice of dark chocolate cake, forgo the chocolate + PB cupcake.

..actually I always forget this lesson once I get desserts again. Who's up for a scoop of dark chocolate ice-cream paired with a scoop of hazelnut chocolate ice-cream?!!!

She then brought me to have some lor mee at one of her favourite places whichnameIdidnotnotedown.

Oh don't worry about me and the fact that my stomach was totally bursting (I thought I was pregnant for a good 10 minutes). Another huge bowl of lor mee totally wouldn't hurt.

Before we ordered, she asked, "Have you ever had white lor mee?"

.....white lor mee?

"Nope I've only ever had black ones."

I prefer them black, you see. *raises eyebrows* Hurhur.



She wasn't kidding when she said it was the best lor mee cuz it was so good! Major plus points cuz it had loads of veggies and seafood, both my ultimate favourites!

Need to go back again hehe it was really, REALLY good. And when I rave about a certain foodstuff you know it's good since I seldom do.


We also ordered a plate of fried sotong with salted egg.

Was initially against the idea cuz the first time I had something with salted egg, it was SO BAD and it totally weaned me off anything salted egg. Thank goodness we tried this though!

We couldn't finish everything, sadly, and she packed back half the plate of sotong.


She got me these from BKK! Yay thank you babe!

Before Geisel passed me these at Cake Spade, she asked me what my horoscope was. When she got my answer ("Eh? I'm an Aries. Why leh?"), she whipped these out of her bag and gave me this expression that said PHEW!, which was quite funny. Then I understood why she was so relieved after I opened the bag.

Wore my new Aries bracelet immediately hehe. I'm a proud Aries.

So yes, new armcandy and a small pack of chocolates, because you do not gift Gwen something unless it includes chocolate. I didn't set this rule but somehow everyone who ever got me proper gifts seem to presume/understand that? My boyfriend even! 

Then again I suppose it's not that hard to figure what my absolute favourite foodstuff in the world is.


Discussed Waves 18 auditions and her and decided that no matter how reluctant I was about it, I know I would regret it big time when I sit there watching everyone during vettings and trainings.

So yeah, guess I'll be a part of Waves 18, but maybe not the bboy items due to the fact that my knees are super weak now, doubt they could take 2 months of bboy AND hip hop training.

Hope I score a girls' hip hop item this year. My favourite genre and I only did that for one item as a Year 1 during Waves 16 :(