G E E B E E ▲ ∆

Gwendolyn N.
20 years young, a dreamer with a slight obsession for the lemniscate.

Friday, July 04, 2014

Weight Loss

One of the best feelings of all is definitely one where you walk into a shop, and when you ask the lady to gauge your shorts size, she tells you "You should be.. wearing a size S. Let me get that for you."

The best feeling? Knowing that the last time you were in said store, another salesgirl looked at you when you asked about the clothes and which ones had your size, and she basically told you that you couldn't fit most of the clothes, or that she had to get you the ones which were bigger in cutting.

(And yet you couldn't fit into those.)

Last I weighed myself, I was 0.7kg away from my goal weight (GW)!

This means I've lost a grand total of 11kg!

While I'm really excited, I tell myself not to mind the scale too much because when I stress about my weight loss (and start to ask myself why the results aren't coming), I tend to not lose weight.

Weird, huh?

Lesson learnt: Things happen when you care/stress/try to control them less.

To those who have been asking about what I've been doing, what "secrets" I have......

I'll be honest and say I have none. Cheers to honesty!

Though I've analyzed what I've been doing over the past few months and I found out some stuff:

1) I will attribute the fact that I'm not having school (hint: stress and eating when I don't need to just because my friends are eating) to my weight loss.

Bottom line: don't stuff your face if you're genuinely not hungry!

It's okay to tell your classmates/whoever you're having lunch with I'm not hungry, it's okay you guys should go ahead and get your food!

Made that mistake a lot when I first started out in my polytechnic as we had lunch breaks so often. Everyone would stuff their faces with a full meal at almost every break, and if we weren't, we'd be stuffing our faces with 'finger food' – devilishly good, deceptive, yummy stuff such as chicken nuggets, sausages, chocolate doughnuts... you know where this is going.

Problem was, I didn't stop myself from joining them because I felt bad being the only one not eating. Sometimes people would accuse me of being on a diet, and that made me feel ten times worse, leading me to cave in and to get myself a whole bowl of noodles/rice with dishes.

2) When I started out on my 4 month-long internship, my appetite dropped a lot. 

This was mainly due to the fact I was tired day in and day out, rushing projects through lunch and basically having no mood to eat while I dealt with my clients – let's just say they weren't the nicest people a video editor could deal with.

This is not to say that you should not eat even when you're stressed and have no appetite. I generally try not to force myself to consume a full meal when I understand that my body does not feel a need for it.

In such times, I get myself a cup or two of Milo, and get biscuits and sweets to fuel myself (low blood pressure problems). The moment I feel hungry, I eat.

3) I learnt how to only eat what I need.

Growing up, my family taught me that it wasn't good to leave even a grain of rice on the plate. I was to finish every morsel given to me.

That was fine for me as a kid. I was skinny, had a lot of energy and hence required more food. At a certain point of time in my life, I had 2 servings for dinner every night.

As a young adult? Not so much! Overeating is never a good thing when you've got your ass planted on the chair in the office all day long.

Your fingers don't need that much energy to type/click, trust me on that.

Ever since my internship started, I learnt how to listen to my body. If it signals that it's full, it's full. I've always had a weak stomach, so forcing myself to consume whatever was left on my plate would make me extremely bloated and sick. Which explains my big bloaty stomach in poly.

4) Eating healthy DOES NOT EQUAL TO weight loss.

I had a period where I ate so clean that eating McDonald's fries would keep me sick for the next hour. My body wasn't used to the excessive oil and salt.

Sorry to burst your bubble (extra apology to all those who eat nothing but clean), but regardless of how clean I ate, I never saw results.

Why? I was eating TOO MUCH.

Keep this in mind: "Too much of a good thing is bad."

I overloaded on the veggies, the chicken breasts.. boy did I eat like there was no tomorrow. I would then burn a little of them off by jogging/dancing, but after that I would return home only to eat again, justifying my actions by telling myself how I ran long and hard (eeps, sounds wrong), and how they were low in calories too.. technically a win-win situation.

Oh well. There we go!

If I have more pointers I'd definitely come back to post more, but it's 3:24AM now, and my brain is begging me to hit the sacks.

On a side note, so much has happened over the last week.

The one that hit me the most was when I called NTU only to hear that my appeal was never sent through on their online portal. Which annoyed the heck out of me as I clearly remembered submitting it infront of 3 other friends! System glitch maybe?

That's handled, thank God. At least I discovered it sooner than later, so I still may have a chance!

Then came decisions I had to make on my own, and I've gotten those settled too. Extremely proud of myself for stepping up and finding back the old Gwen who knew how to handle her own shit.

What can I say? When something major happens, it's as if a switch flips on in my head, snapping me back to reality, telling me over a loud hailer that no one else is responsible for my happiness and for my life but me.

I'm glad I'm taking things well and showing more maturity than I ever thought I had.

There's nothing more rewarding than to see yourself getting things (you've neglected for a while) back on track. :) finding myself again hasn't been easy, but it's amazing how once I put my mind to it, results come faster than I've ever thought was possible.

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