Freelancing hasn't been the easiest shit to deal with (can all the freelancers hollaaaa). The stressors are REAL. When I first decided I'd give freelance video production and content creation a go, I mentally prepped myself for the worst but hoooooly shit, this really takes it to the next level.
Breaking down on a daily basis seems to be the norm now; nights are spent wondering if I'm doing the right thing and SHOULD I GO BACK TO A FULL-TIME JOB? Be DESK-BOUND? Go to an OFFICE EVERY SINGLE DAY even when work could be done at home?
I dunno man, not putting full-time work down but damn, this freedom I'm enjoying from freelance work is pretty sweet. I have lots of time to do what I want, I have time to shoot and edit my own YouTube content etc etc the list goes on and on! However, the reality of it all is that finding jobs really boils down to your network and sometimes – I hate to admit this – luck. Apart from that, while I'm enjoying the process of honing my skills thru working on my own or with a teeny tiny team at most, the self-doubt can be pretty real. Sometimes those voices telling me YOU CAN'T DO IT! seems to soooo damn loud I can't hear my own voice. Before I tell a potential client what I feel my work is worth, the voice inside me screams "GURL YOU GOT SO LITTLE EXPERIENCE AND YOUR SHOOTING SKILLS ARE MEDIOCRE AT MOST, AND HELL YEAH YOUR GEAR SUCKS! Yet you wanna charge THAT PRICE HOHO girl you got some au-da-ci-ty!" and then I fall into this trap of self loathe and sadness that takes me a while to get out of (ice-cream helps).
It's just sad that this is the reality of it all. Suffer and die a little bit every day on the inside, in hopes that I eventually make it out of this freelance hell alive with the moolahs.
But then again, that's life isn't it? With each day we countdown a little more to our deaths, but we hope that we make the most out of our days here on Earth, making it out of this hell hole called 'Life' with some meaningful shit we can take away.