Dear Uncle Robert,
How're you? It's been a while since we last spoke.
My heart's still heavy even as I write this, but as they say, "time will heal the pain".
How're things up there? I hope the scenery that greets you is beautiful, to say the least, and that the people there are as amazing and genuine as you are. I sometimes look up, wondering which cloud you're staying on. When my grandparents left me, I wondered which star they bought a house on. Hope you're having a great time up there because after fighting hard for so long, it's high time you deserve a good rest.
Things here have been great, if you're wondering. Ever since the day you left us, I still spend my days wondering about how you are; wondering if you're looking down on me and protecting me from above, scolding me when I make bad choices. Sometimes I speak to you, hoping you'd get my message up there.
I was looking back at my Whatsapp chat log with you. 2 years ago I texted you about my badly sprained ankle. I was out of dance for 4-5 months because of it and at the later stages I really needed it to heal faster. Bird recommended me to you, saying you were a fantastic TCM person and that a lot of dancers go to you for injuries. "Okay, this uncle must be good," I thought. "What do I stand to lose, apart from the 1.5hrs of traveling time from my place to Jurong East?"
I still remember being quite late as I underestimated how long I'd take to limp there (it was a short while since I got off crutches, walking was still a chore to me. Apologetic, I sent you messages to say how sorry I was. You welcomed me anyways, telling me not to worry.
You always looked out for me. I went by regularly because my ankles kept giving me problems. You were so awesome, telling me how I could return within 3 days if I still felt it was problematic so that you could check up on me, and you would tui me for free. You always told me how you only charged dancers/students/athletes $30 per session because it was expensive enough to be in our field. Dance was a huge hobby of mine, and a lot of my money went to it. Most people would think it's stupid to commit this much to something considered a passion/hobby which gives you no monetary gains in return.. but you encouraged me to be my best self, and to do my best, which I appreciated so much. No one out there really gives us such good treatment, and infact I would consider you the only person who truly, truly looked out for dancers out there. So, thank you for giving the dance community this bit of support.
I know you're gonna worry about me a lot while you're gone. You always had such nice things to say about me.. not a negative thing would leave your mouth if you were talking about me. Oh okay, except the last time I saw you that day after a session, and you complained about how I don't reply my messages or check my phone and that your texts always goes unread. You always said that I was too nice and that people would step over me if they don't already do so. You taught me how to let go of those people and to harden myself up without losing the essence of who I truly am, and I'll keep those teachings in mind so don't worry about me too much, okay? Zack and CP will always look out for my softie self.
Speaking of CP, thank you for somewhat bringing us together. You always wanted me to get off the shelf and Zack always told me how during every session you would talk about me, and how you would go to the friends that Zack introduced to you and talk about me and how I was a great girl. Well now I'm happily off the shelf! I still remember how CP and I wanted to break the news of us being together to you, but you already found out and you didn't wanna tell me who sent you that screenshot from my private IG account!!!! Thinking back.. now I'll never be able to find out who told you about us, it'll literally be a secret you took to your grave. Hur hur hur. I wonder how you'd react if I told you this joke. Prolly roll your eyes at me a little but entertain me as you usually do when I try to crack a cold joke. But yeah, please rest assured knowing that your greatest worry regarding me was getting someone who would take good care of me and make sure I don't get bullied, and I can tell you I'm in very good hands. He's the most loving and caring person out there, and he gives in to me (and my occasional tantrums hehe). I'll also be sure to take care of him and support him to the best of my abilities! Please make sure he doesn't bully me okay? If he does, I'll tell you. #telltale
Things here will always be good albeit some bad days, and on those bad days I'll look to you to rant like I occasionally do when I see you, so please hear me out okay! It's gonna be so different not receiving any replies when I rant, but I'll still talk to you regardless.
Once again, I'm so sorry I never got to bring you to that nice lunch/dinner. That's the one thing I will always, always regret. Please wait for me up there, when my time's up we'll have a nice, hearty steamboat session together okay!
I'll miss our talks over the tuina sessions about evil people out there, about the people whom you treated so right but took advantage of that niceness. Looking back, I feel horrible cuz sometimes I wish I didn't have to talk cuz my Chinese sucked so bad and it was hard for me to form a good sentence in Chinese to reply to you, but I tried anyways and you understood/sometimes made fun of my shitty Chinese hahaha.
My heart broke so bad when I saw you lying in there, but I'd like to keep in mind what your wife told us, that you were too nice so you got called to the Lord first because he needed you more. And she's right, you're needed up there more than you are here.
Thank you for always teaching me how to look at things with a positive heart and mindset, thank you for removing the negatives when I do think about it and share it with you. Thank you for all the kindness and love you shared with me. While I'll always remember how excruciatingly painful your tuina sessions were, I'll also remember the kind soul that was you, Uncle Robert.
And this, this is how I'll say goodbye.
Thank you, Uncle Robert. I love you.