G E E B E E ▲ ∆

Gwendolyn N.
20 years young, a dreamer with a slight obsession for the lemniscate.

Thursday, December 11, 2014


Recently I've been in a funk of sorts.

It wasn't until this week that I started reflecting on my life, thinking about what I've been doing and where I'll go from now. I am happily in a relationship, my relationship with my family members are good.. but then I take a look at my friendships... and pause there.

Growing up I was pretty much a social butterfly. I made friends easily and had lots of close friends whom I felt at home with.

Somehow all that changed.

The whole of today was a little tiring, to say the least. Both mentally and physically.

I haven't had much sleep the whole of this week due to rushing projects and essays, and I haven't been out anywhere else except for school. Talking to Min made me realise that I only reflect on my life and the likes of it when I'm going through draining periods in my life. On top of that I've been thinking of this, which takes a toll on me because I hate it when my mind gets all.. deep. NOT THE TIME, BRAIN. (Thank you bb for listening to my 'deep' thoughts, you're the best)

They say that as you grow older, you'll start to filter out your friends.

Friends whom you've grown apart from, friends whom have changed so much that you can't trek down the same route in life anymore despite how close you once were.. it's painful to recount and even more painful to analyze what's been going on, and what I've lost.

Quality > quantity, right?

Is this what growing up encompasses? I sure hope not.

For the time being, I'm really, really happy and thankful that this butt of a boyfriend would be back in Singapore in roughly 3.5 days!

He's travelled to Switzerland and is currently in Paris now; saying I miss him is a gross understatement – I miss him A TON.

I get soooo envious of him whenever he sends me pictures of his day while we chat every night.. he looks like he's really enjoying the place! Sad to say I'm really tired of being in a city – a little breather and exploration would do me good. Machu Picchu, anyone?

It's been a bit hard tolerating the 7-hour time difference: I stay awake till late to talk to him every night, and it's pretty draining but I'm glad that in 3.5 days we won't be separated by land and sea anymore, nor will be be seeing each other over our phone and laptop screens.

This isn't the first time we've been apart for more than a week in our relationship. The last time I was in Korea with my mom for 10 days, it was hard but tolerable. For some reason this time it feels a lot harder not having him here.

Although I wish he were here physically to give me a hug, I'm really glad he's enjoying himself there. He's the sweetest though, sending me words of encouragement and all everyday as I rush projects.

We haven't been able to video call over LINE much (partially so that I can concentrate on my work and partially because he's been sharing the hotel and apartment rooms with his mom and her friends) over the past few days, so it's a little hard to bear on my end because I dislike communicating with people via text (would rather see them face-to-face), video-calling him was like, the bear minimum for me.

I miss doing stupid things like pinching his nose hurhur.

*pats self on back*

It'll all be over soon, Gwen. Hang in there. *pats self on back somemore*

For now, say hi to my crazy girlfriends from uni!

Though I've already known two of them (Pam and Arynah) for about 3-4 years, and are acquaintances with one of them (Liyen) in poly since we were classmates/coursemates in SP, it has been nice getting to know Kimbo and Liyen!

The only difference between poly and uni is that in RMIT, I don't have a small class, nor do we have tutorials. We've only had mass lectures with a "class" of about 100-odd so it's been pretty weird walking past my classmates, not knowing whether or not I should say hi.

Glad I have my girls to do stupid things with everyday, and yay to the end of this school semester! It's been a crazy tiring month, but I can't celebrate too soon as I still have one last submission due tomorrow.

Hang in there, only one more slideshow and script to write + narrate!

Can't wait for all this to be over, then I can meet all my friends again. I'm sorry y'all have to put up with me, telling me "Wah sooooo beezeee ah someone!" whenever I turn down your jios to go out.


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