G E E B E E ▲ ∆



Gwendolyn N.
20 years young, a dreamer with a slight obsession for the lemniscate.


Monday, September 12, 2016

Thoughts

Maybe one day we'll wake up and this will all just be a dream.

2016 has been a rollercoaster for me thus far.

Love came and went but I'm glad that it happened because through this I learnt a lot about myself and frankly speaking, every relationship is an experience regardless of how good/bad it was. The thing is to remember the lessons it taught you so that you can be a better person for the next person you're with.

As we grow older we realise that people come into our lives for a reason. Then they leave once that reason is fulfilled, and we become strangers again.

All this was just another great experience for me to learn and grow from, and for all that it's worth, I'm glad it happened, and though it's bittersweet, I'm glad it ended as well.

One day all this would be something I would look back and have a hearty laugh at – at myself for being so melodramatic, for being infinitely childish at the moments I couldn't control; at the whole situation for being so stupid. At least I knew I tried my best – I have no more regrets.

For a while I closed up, but then it occurred to me that that's the wrong mindset: This situation won't change me. I won't allow myself to distrust the people around me, I refuse to build walls around my heart.. simply because that isn't who I am, and it'll never be who I become. This event won't shape me in that way. I've always been known to be a happy-go-lucky girl, and I'm glad people still recognize that in me now that I've recovered a great deal.

While I don't feel anything anymore.. If there'll ever be a day we can cross paths again, I hope we can be earnest friends, because I always find it a pity to lose someone whom once knew you inside out and vice versa.

In the meantime, I'm thankful for the constants in my life, and my new constants (hello Water Tribe!). I'll continue working at being the best for these friends and family who chose to stay in my life, working at making many more happy core memories with the people who matter.

Life is what you make out of it, and I will go out there to make this a great one.

Thanks for the memories, for all the laughter and silly moments that I hopefully won't forget.

Till next time, butthead. :)

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