Noooo never.

LETS ALL BE BRITNEY SPEARS AND SHAVE OUR HEADS BALD PEOPLES!
Reading about people going kuku/psycho/mad {?} over their lives I'm suddenly thinking of mine too.

And, DAMN its bad.

K. I think I've gotta study hardhardhard now. Super hard. Majorly hard. Doubly hard. Triply hard. Whateverly hard.

Ugh headache just thinking about that. I think I wanna take the tip of the scotchstape dispenser to dehjf#@her!j#e%skl myself again. x.x

And I don't feel original anymore. People are just copying me here and there (Chuaaaaa Jiaqi!) and I'm getting a bit pissed off here and there too.

And I dislike 3Endeavour for being so noisy ALL THE FUCKING TIME.
(yes this shows you how pissed off I am at this)

Hello? People need to study during lesson time? And oh, RESPECT THE TEACHERS YO. 3E just lacks that aites.


..Oh God why am I ranting here?

No one here would help me anyway.
No one here understands-

(thaaaat..)
GWEN IS A STUPID GIRL! ;D

or that Gwen's leading a life she doesn't want anymore.
or how she feels. (apparently, super suckish)

K. Thinking about all the bad things in life now is a baaaad thing and will lead me to thinking about slitting again. x.x I don't want that (and it hurt when I tried it with the scotchstape dispenser tip already).

I really don't want!

MY LIFE'S SO FREAKING SCREWED LA UGH!!!

tired yo.

Hi Mrs Sidhu! I know I'm not supposed to be online..



.. but I still am =.=

Super bored after spending like 1.5hours on just a few questions in a Emath exercise. :\

If you didn't know,
GWEN SUCKS.
Gwen freaaaaking sucks in all aspects of her life yo! If you didn't know, you're a fool. ^^V

Really tired now so this'll be a quickie.

Mr Lim taught us Isotopes today. Fur-reak! I'm like super confused by that chapter. Didn't understand no shit. I even looked thru it while waiting for the bus to come to the sailing center to take us back to school after sailing. (this is called HARDWORKING alright!)

Didn't sail today, again. Went on powerboat instead (with Ning)! And its AWEEESOME. So fun to watch the sailors do their row tacks/jybes and capsize. ^^V woooosh maan!

Ryan esp, while going back to shore, "I can do the PERRRFECT ROW JYBE!"

Coach (Jean or Geene or what?): Okay do it for us to see ^^
Ryan: No laaa. Dowan, too pro already.
Coach: Ohhh.. I see. Do for us to see la :D
Ryan: Dowan laaa. ^^

-after a while-

Ningxin: Come on la Ryan, just do it la!
Ryan: Aiyahhhh okay la I do la k. Uhhhm..

-capsizes-
xD

Me and Ning were also taking pics/vids for the sailing thingy. :] the camera was sooooo cool okay. Can sense your hand's motion and rotates the screen accordingly. How cool is that?!

The powerboat was so fun to be on thanks to our coach :D and the funny people who failed at doing row jybes and row tacks. Heheee.

Ning and Jean (I'll take it your name's spelt like that for now :D) were wondering throughout the whole training why Justin L. was so quiet and serious during training. "Hah! Serves him right. I bet the regatta taught him a lesson man." -Ning. =.= no comment.

Infact, I got no comment for ANYTHING.

I'm so mindless.
Mindless fool, freak, dumbass, noobshit..
Nevermind. This is called self-demoralisation okay.

I hate myself. Cuz I'm sooooo sososo stupid. Mmyeah!

Bus back to sailing.. my row got eaten up by two people again. So was stuck with Bryan 'till I decided to sit beside The Sleeping Linjie. :D his bag's freaking heavy.

Watched Aaron play SKETCHERS the whole bus ride, till I was mid-falling asleep when we were listening to the music in my phone (got many nice new songs to recommend aites! xD) he was like "ahhhh I give up la.". Everytime I was gonna fall asleep I would wake up to change song or something and resume my sleep. =.= the bus sucks as a place to sleep laaa.

SHIT THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY PHONE I THINK MY MEM. CARD JUST GOT FORMATTED OMGGG!! D: shit hell no!

Wah heng ah. Didn't. =.= but there was some prob with it.

Damnnit I still think the Samsung i450's chio. K not happening! I HATEHATEHATEABHOR Samsung cuz the smsing's like shit. But that was my mom's phone eons of years back so yeaaah.

Mrs Sidhu told me its been highlighted to her during recess meeting that I was doing real badly in class now. Okay I knew it, the teachers would surely comment about me =.=

I'm pretty pissed off at myself. I think my life's pretty useless right now ^^ no wonder I think of suicide. HAHAHA.

PHOTOS!
(for you to wow and grimace your hearts out to yo.)

braiding in progress xD

hugeee rat for CNY class deco! :D I think Qihua looks like the rat itself.
Can see the most duapai one? "JUSTIN- Yandao & Co." (its his group's IPW name)
MY GROUP'S NAME for IPW. thought of by Wintenggg.
STUPID JUSTIN ONG, YANDAO KIA. Called me and Ker and everyone who walked past him today losers. LOL. He's a.. ah whatever. =.=
still amused why me and Lianyi are onigris..

P.S. THANKS KER FOR WANTING TO MEET ME UP ON SATURDAY MORNING AT MACS TO TEACH ME ISOTOPES! :D

Now anyone wanna teach me Emath? :\


I'm sorry you're getting pissed off reading my posts.. but ahh what the heck. I don't know what to say anymore aites? Think what you want.. nothing I say will change your mind anyway.

PHOTOOOOS!

DINNER AT NEWYORK NEWYORK-
(with Celine & her mom)

Think dirty yo. =.= its sausages wrapped in bacon okay.

deep fried mars bars! SINFUL k.
THIS PIG RUINED THE PIC CAN. :\

RETARD GER'S 10th-
(happy birthday hurry up and be matured aites?)

yeah I like this editing skill I learnt from the photoshop mag in the school library. ^^


Phototaking for councilors tomorrow I think.

Need to bring white shirt wth. I didn't take the one 3E took yesterday. So I'm like hmmm. Daniel said the 4bucks I paid was used to pay for Winteng's shot? x.x k damn confused. Gonna pester Daniel again tomorrow (HAHAHA da niu! This is what you get for sitting behind me yo ^^V).

Went to ahmah's place for dinner (seems that my relatives decided everyday we take turns to go there for lunch & dinner.. and my family's on Wednesday). Think I'll go over on Friday to study there, maybe with Melody.

I WANNA WATCH PS I LOVE YOU!!
Anyone up fer it? :D
(BEVERLYYYY GOH DARLING! *hinthint*)

Not sailing tomorrow I guess. Still sick. Ker's been trying to psycho me to stay at home. D: ahhh I promise I'll look after myself alright! :D thanks for your concern dear! :]

So Imma stay on shore, be a good girl and study chem. (idk why but its the ONLY thing I think of when I mention the word "study".. its like no other subjects appeal to me =.=) and then help people rig and unrig, hopefully no more sand in my shoes this time. I think I won't go and pull boats or I'd have sandy shoes for like, another week or so.. :\

And omg I think I need to be more hardworking maan. :\
MR LIM PLEASE DON'T DON'T DON'T SAY!! :X I'll die if you do, okay? Thanks man! ^^'' :sweat:

I'm more into o2Jam again, thanks to Iggy Thiam who has so-called 'inspired' me to play that again. Not bad, I've been winning a lot of rounds :D

Everyone in class seems to be either depressed/upset/whatever now. Omg.. 3E is so.. 'emotional'. o__o or maybe I am the emotional one. =.= I just know I need to transfer all my new songs into my handphone or I'd die of boredom tomorrow.

And oh I keep forgetting to transfer the songs Kenkiong sent to me into my music folder.. AHHHHH there's like 150+ songs in total in our sharing folders! :D

THANKYOU KENKIONG!
(I seriously dunno how many times I've thanked him for the songs..) Hope you're better now! :D

Bleeding Love

Bleeding Love
>Leona Lewis

Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking round
Thinking I'm going crazy

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothing's greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love

Nolita Fairytale.

Can't heaven be nicer to me? Not even one lil' bit? :\


Didn't do so badly for my Lit at all :D tho not highest in class (missed that by 3 marks! D:) but still.. 20/25 was AVERAGE, but much better than I thought cuz I totally didn't study for lit.

I was crying during lit la, cuz I told myself if I got 20 and below for lit I'd jump maan. And Ms Yeo was like reading the names from highest in class and mentioning the marks. When she said the names of those who got 20 I was crying already cuz she said that was the end of the list. Then she "Oh still got somemore. And lets not forget... Lianyi! Aaaaand.. Gwendolyn!" :phew: was hell relieved. Got my paper and I screamed. Bev there was like, *head turns and looks at me*. xD


And during recess Mr Lim was still telling me I wouldn't get A1 for Lit.. HAH MR LIM. I'VE PROVED YOU WRONG. Soooooo wrong maan.


But Ms Yeo didn't go thru the answers! I wanted to fight for marks so badly :\

Not happy with my history marks. IT PULLED MY SS History combined MARKS DOWN! I got a freaking nice A1 for SS, then history had to come along with a freaaaaking C-something- and pull down the marks. D: I hate you history!!!

Morning chit-chat with Mr Lim tomorrow.

Oh great, thanks the NEXT IN LINE of the things I wanted to happen in my life. =.= bet he's gonna ask me why I'm sounding so depressed and all in my blog. Ehhhhhs?! x.x

But he said I'm on his radar cuz I'm doing so badly.

HELLOOOO. Mr Lim I studied! But I always seem to black out during exams IDK WHY EITHER CAN. Is it my freaking fault that my brain tends to chose when it wants to work?

Actually, yes it is. =.=

I'm still pissed off. Okay maybe not a lot now. But I am still. GRRR.

Oh God, why'd you have to let these happen in my life? ... =.=

I'm still waiting to make my specssss! Grr.

And oh! I'm the only lunatic who would wear a BLACK JACKET to PE and sit in the field under the hot sun in it! Hoho. ;D did that today during PE and Ms Chew was like "Can you all take the cones here and why are you wearing a jacket take that off before you get heatstroke" all in one breath. PEI FU MAAN. :D

pissed. MAJORLY.

私は怒って!!!
I AM SERIOUS. I AM SOOOOO DAMN ANGRY/PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW MAAN.

Ugh. "this type of people and treatment"? Wtf do you mean by that?! GO BANG A WALL AND DIE LA K.

I might as well say "I too am used to people like you who treat me like shit!" ehhh???!

I'm so pissed off now that my stomach's hurting so badly omggg. It feels like my gastrics are acting up. Why why why?! D:

See la, tio 'scolded' by me then dowan to reply me le huh.


Its not that I don't need you. But your attitude towards me recently made me so upset that I decided that I couldn't bother too much with myself (or how I treat you, for this matter). You took me for granted, ignoring me when you wanted to. I've got no comment now.

Thanks for caring, tho. Not sure whether you really did, but that made me happy today, knowing that you realised.

Not sure how many times I've edited this post.. but..
[EDIT]

I'm super duper happy about my results tho. Thanks Ker for informing me that I did so well for my SS paper and English! Not highest for either paper.. but still I'm glad cuz I was freaking out about how badly I would do for SS cuz of the last question which I only elaborated on one topic (which was daaaaamn dumb).

Thank God I passed Chem.. (T_T)

Hoping all the best for my History and Lit papers now.
(crosses fingers for top for Lit.. I really need that)

:sigh:

I wish life would brighten up for me for ALL aspects, tho.

I really need to go visit ahmah after school one day. I'm feeling guilty about the fact that I've been unfilial cuz I'm not visiting her even tho she's losing her memories as quickly as I can say "blahblah picks a pack of pickled peppers whateverrrr." T_T

I want my life back.
I want my old life back.

The life of last year where I was only caring about all the minor stuffs and doing super well for my literature and english.

The life before I had to start caring for when I would one day go to ahmah's place only to hear her say "who are you", the life before I had to care for 7 subjects (is it?), the life before I had to prevent myself from getting a penknife to cut my wrists diagonally (Ker said like this you would lose blood cuz you're cutting your whole vein), the life I had before I started wondering why I'm always falling sick so often, especially this year.

The life before I had to start caring about.. you.


Heaven's been unfair to me the start of this year.

But I'm gonna smile it away. Thats my advantage! I'm always smiling! :D no matter WHAT.

I won't prove I'm giving up on my life so soon. I won't show anything! Yeah! :D

[/EDIT]

[EDIT]
Choreographing to start of the song Fall Out by Method Man! :D

Got some inspiration from this youtube vid. THANKS YO!
[/EDIT]

[EDIT]
안녕하세요!!

[/EDIT]

생일 축하 합니다.. o__o

생일 축하 합니다
생일 축하 합니다
사랑하는 Anonymous

생일 축하 합니다

K just being reaaaaal random. :]

sang-il chookha-hapneeda!!! o__o

OMGGG DON'T YOU JUST WANT ONE OF THESE?! :D

But if I asked for one, the person would rather die than get me one cuz its like £500 ($1300+++++++++). Hahah. But its damn cute right?!! Say yes maan.

"Equipped with a camera and sensor, the owner sends a call to the Miuro using a wireless remote, which the robot responds to by locating the owner neatly avoiding obstacles, then cleverly positions itself at an optimum listening distance where it grooves around rolling and pivoting to the tunes."

EEEEE ITS SO CUTE OKAY.

My dad wanted to get me an iDog for my birthday =.= then he said I can put it ontop of the laptop screen and watch it dance.. =.=

Nvm daddy! You can get me a Miuro instead! :D



Sugei! :D

reporting sick yo-

Sick today! AGAIN. D:

Didn't go to school cuz I was quite sick/yadayada yesterday. Hahah see Ker, I didn't go to school! :]

Went to polyclinic to see a doc, then Popular to get my Geog file and ballpoint pen (finally) then bought a waffle to eat since I was hungry (thats my luncccch). And aunty toon bought for me bubble tea :X omg shhhhh my mom'll kill me cuz I'm sick.

Got like, 4pills and 1 liquid medicine to take after every meal and 2 creams to apply to my arms for my dry arms (forgot what's the term called). Omg la, so much! D: regretted seeing the doc.

Cuz I didn't go to school, I missed sailing today! D: reaaaaal sad k. Oh well, not like I'd wanna go there and wonder what boat I should take next or worry about not having any carpet. :\

I MISS MY B12/SIN412.

You know when I saw it during the weekend NSC Cup Series race, I wanted to cry? K emotional much but its the truth. I saw it parked there and the mast up so I figured someone's using it now, and I really miss it okay! :( my babyyy.

And David still owes me a tiller extension for breaking the one on B12. D: hmph. Its been so long already can and he still hasn't bought me one back! But the spoiled one's attached to the rudder on B12.... so uhhhh. I'm kinda lost with what to do.

Hope the person using it is taking care of it now tho. Ugh, I'd kill the person if B12 goes into really bad condish cuz when I saw B13 out at sea during the race, looked at the person, "omg my boat's been passed to them losers?!" was all I could think of =.= I was like omggg..

WEEEEEIRD THINGS have been going on in school. And I'm wondering why I'm in 3Endeavour. Sometimes I find it really screwed maan. I'm serious. I don't hate the class but I feel that some things happening in 3E feels so.. Korean-drama-ish yo.

Anyways. I'm praying that next year we'll be allocated back the boats till AT LEAST B12..
I miss it like hell. :((((((((((

Gonna o2jam now. Hooooh. See ya around! TTFN.


I miss you,
I miss you NOT.
(which one...?)

sickkkkkkkkness gurl!

I'm just getting so much inspiration from Poppin J! I think besides Nam Hyun Joon & Poppin Bora who're both in Cyborg, he's like the other best. I've never really heard of the other guy who's supposedly in Cyborg. :\

0:27-0:32 loved that part! :D his poppin' style's so.. ELECTRIC. Damn nice. I figured out how to do part 0:27-0:29.. just need to perfect it yo.



0:45-0:47 & 01:01-01:05 OMFG HE'S AWEEEESOME. (not as awesome as Nam Hyun Joon, tho ^^). Ommmmg Poppin' J :D

But they've always said its weird for tall people to be dancing, esp hiphop and ESP poppin/lockin. Hahahaha! I'm short enough yo. ;D and yeahhhh Poppin J did look a bit weird to me at first like last year. :\

PT today was okay, cuz I didn't run the rounds. But I did all the pumping, crunches, and planks with the other sailors (besides sec1 cuz they had to run more rounds) and did 1 timing round. Timing? 4:30min! :D up AND down. Hahahah I improved k. Used to be 5min. :\ super slowww.

But after that buey tahan and my giddy spell got worse.. sooooo yeah, didn't run the 2nd timing round. :]

Kept breaking out in cold sweat for no reason today. Until I took out my tie in class cuz I really cannot tahan. And I wasn't sweating cuz I was warm, cuz I was colddd. Then during lunch Ker literally scolded me for even wanting to sit there and watch them do PT. D: sorry Ker! I promise I'll like take super good care of myself k. (bullshit, I know how horrible I am at personal healthcare but I can try. Hahahah!)

Bernice said I was still running a temperature this morning when she put her hand on my forehead and wanted to make me go home :\ NOT POSSIBLE HAHAHA. Then Eleanore wasn't feeling well and she went home o__o if I had gone home wouldn't that make uhm, 2 in 1 day?
2-In-1 COFFEE MIX!

Tomorrow I'm still going to school. Not sailing, tho. Just gonna stay on shore and study.


I love my juniors!
(yes Drey including you :D)

Forever my past thou shall be.
Knocked some sense.. then wondered why. I really never bothered.
Maybe. Maybe I'm giving up.. I don't know.
I'm not gonna get anything out of this.. that's for sure.
Finally seeing you and me for who we are.
Even if I loved you, you're just taking advantage of it.
I'm finally halfway thru waking up and I realised-
Phunked with, girl. Thats what you are.

Please lemme train hard for National Interschools!


p.s. someone buy me this super nice diary.. and I'd love you forever.
(its maybe something that would prevent me from ever wanting to ----.) Thanks Ker ♥

スマブラXオープニング

Audi famam illius.
Solus in hostes ruit.
et patriam servavit.
Audi famam illius.
Cucurrit quaeque tetigit destruens.
Audi famam illius.
Audi famam illius.
Spes omnibus,mihi quoque.
Terror omnibus,mihi quoque.
Ille
iuxta me.
Ille iuxta me.
Socii sunt mihi.
qui olim viri fortes
rivalesque erant.
Saeve certando pugnandoque
sprendor crescit.

NSC Cup Series!

Cool bus with blue-ish lights under the seats! :D HOLY FLOWER LIGHTS!
omg Quin touched it & turned it on...
... holy mama.

HAHAHA. K I think my captions for the last 2 pics are uber lame.

Anyways. I think I did REAL badly for the 2 races yesterday. D: cuz I was unwell, then I had gastrics halfway thru the race. Hmm.

Stupid SIN347, YOU'RE GOING DOWNNNN! :angryface:

Super pissed off with her. BANG MY BOAT FOR WHAT AH BANG AH BANG LA! BANG SOMEMORE LOR. Assssshole. STILL BANG MY BOAT UNTIL THE BOW OF YOUR BOAT GO ON TOP OF MY RUDDER WHILE I WAS ROUNDING THE BUOY.. end up I can't tack cuz of that (my boat couldn't move cuz my rudder was literally in her "control").

GRRR.

Today I'm so determined to trash herrr. Tho my skills dropped drastically.

So drastically I got bottom 3 for the last race. Overall ranking 81/98, counting those who didn't come la. D: (k nvm I won't trash her but my friends shall ^^ gogo MFSS sailors!)

But I'm feeling worse today. So yeah. Not sure if I'm even gonna sail today. Freaking cold, coughing again (flammmm), giddy spell still there.. sigh. Idk what the hell is wrong with me that I must fall sick during a regatta man.

But I must at least sail ONE race today cuz according to the S.I. (Sailing Instructions), we need at least 3 races MIN to FORM a series. So if I don't sail today, the 3 races I'm left with today fly, I don't form a series, don't need go back for Apr and June/whatever liao. :\

And oh! There's only 5races MAX in each series you know you know!! :D
And there is 3 series (I just found out this damn race is a thing over like, a few months). One in Feb (now), April and June or August or something I think. And there's a max of 15races for the total 3. :D shiooook!

Just damn pekchek cuz I'm not feeling well I'm not able to sail well. Freaaaak.

I just hope today I don't sail as badly cuz of my sickness. GRRRRRs. Must. Stay. Focused!

P/S the Samsung i450 IS LIKE SO CHIO! Sadly, only 2MP camera.. =.= cheyyy.

Still sick maan.

Hellohello.

It seems that I'm still gonna be going for the race afterall. I told mom I'd go there first and see how. If I was unwell still, Imma be the team's LALA DUI! (cheerleader) :D

I'm feeling.. well, worse today. Infact, much worse. If it wasn't for the fact my fever's gone and my stomache comes like, every few hourly lalalawhatever, I'm much better. But this morning I was still giddy and now I'm having cough. D: wth manzx!

Mom made me bring panadol and whatever crap to NSC with me, just incase my headache gets worse, which it already is. o__o

AND my nose is bleeding. o__o idk how but I know its not nosebleed, cuz I bet its a cut. How it got there? Not too sure. I smelt blood while watching a vid halfway and took tissue and uhm stuffed it up my nose =.= and yeah the tissue was bloodaye. x.x

But yeah, sorry Bev I can't go out with you today babe! :(

I just think I'm gonna have a hell horrible time on the bus later if everyone's gonna be so noisy. :\

For being such lovely people (ahhhhhhhahaha), I'm gonna give you guys a treat! :D

A BLACKBEAT VIDEO! I can keep watching this and not get sick of it (cuz I've been watching this vid once-in-a-while-ly since like, last year. :D

CAN'T BELIEVE PEOPLE SAY THEY SUCK YO.

Next time then I'll post up the Melissa Reyes vid kay? :D guys, just don't drool over her cuz she's so damnnnn perfect k? xD I love her hair, tho. She looks exactly like Vanessa Anne Hudgens!

Uhm, gotta rush off to bathe now zzz. :] slowpoke-yyyy. :\ but yeah. Wish me luck maan! ;D

Race or not?

Longest chain for uppsersec (my beloved 3Endeavour) and believe it or not, my hair in pleats (tho you can't see it nananepoopoo)! x]

And no, don't even think about seeing me in my specs. Cuz I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN IT. ;D the shop was closed earlier or something today I guess, so I couldn't go and have my specs made with Celine. :( oh well, better that way! :D

Zzz dunno if I should go for the race tomorrow. Super headache now. Must be the side effects from the slight fever this morning. D:

The worst (and most guai lan) thing I could do is to go there, sailing gear and all packed, and tell Mrs Sidhu that I might not sail when I get there. Hahahaha bullshit! But I'm afraid sia, cuz of my stomach. D:

Peckkhee was asking me that since I was so sick I still wanted to sail? And I was like uh.. hmm...

If if iffffff! I'm still not feeling well tomorrow, I'll go and see the docs. Aites? :D I promise! (to the many people like Yokeching (loverrr), Ker and Jiaqi who asked me to see a doctor)

K really giddy now. I think I'll go sleep. Ttfn tata for now huhuhu!


Cuz when you're with me you're my whole world-
(Entourage by Omarion)

sicksicksick!

Its freggin' hard to sms with long nails. Zzz but I'm too lazy to cut 'em.

Anyways, didn't go to school today cuz I woke up at the sound of my mom's phone alarm and my stomach hurt a hell lot. So yeah. Told my mom I go eat breakfast first then see how, cuz she asked me to sms someone that I'm not going to school and get some rest. But after breakfast it wasn't any better, so yeah.

Woke up and was feverish. D: great, the least I wanted was to be feverish.

I always miss school on Fridays o__o it seems that my body likes to fall sick on Fridays, or at least tahan till Friday then I really fall sick.

Iggy called me (cuz Quin told him I didn't go to school) and he asked me to go his house/he come my house. One word: LAZYYYY! x] might go Downtime with the sailors later tho. See whether I feel better annot.

Kenkiong didn't go to school too. Was MSN-ing him. He's like really sick la, poor dude. GET WELL SOON XIAO BAI TU! ;D

Gonna make specs tonight with Celine I think. Idk what color to get! People are telling me white+black framed specs would be nice. So I'm like uhhh... okay. A lot of people got white+black specs le leh, its like quite common. o__o

HAHAHAHA MAYBE I'LL MAKE SPECS LIKE CELINE'S! Multi-color. LOL!

Ah freak- I'm gonna look like a nerd with specs man. D: lol. But I've got no degree, only astic. So yeahhhh. I doubt I'll wear my specs often. DUMP IT LIKE MY PRI3 SPECS! LOL!

Ahhah... I'm so bored now.

Gonna help Sylvia darling with her lvl 11 to 12 licence! :D tata for now then. ;D


MYLY-

Sleepy, tired, Suicidal Girl. (joking)

Emo-ing today. Tho I didn't show it in school (see, I said in school I am NEVER upset).

Failed Math. Last in class. 7/40. Nicely done Gwen, you suck!

Even combined with 3D, I'm bottom 4, and Iggy's bottom 2. D:

For Geog, I was stupid enough to plot/read the Triangular graph thingy wrongly, until I mixed up the percentage for tertiary, secondary and primary industry. FUR-REAK la. My whole of question 1a, b and c is wrong le.

And failed Chinese, duh. 17.5/40! Wapiang ehhhh. And there's Chinese oral on 29th of Feb I think. SUCKSSS.

Ugh.. I'm so tired of life man.

"Stop scotchstaping/nailing/hack-ing yourself Gwen!" only 2-3 people understand that line ^^ Belle, Aaron and maybe Quin. :D LOL I'm sorry I'll try not to my dears! (o_o for Aaron)

Training today wore me out. And my arm musles, all tired already. :( and I'm feeling unwell again. Oh well, what's the surprise? I'm ALWAYS unwell.

Took Melody's bag today before leaving for sailing and she let me keep my jacket with her! :D THANKYOU COUSINCOUSINNN! ;] we both failed Math but I failed REALLY TERRIBLY. So there's a diff.

Anyone nice enough to volunteer to teach this idiot Emath? :D
I'm sorry but I'm just a huge failure in anything sec3-ish yup.

I can never make things right, didn't take me too long to realise that.

And oh, sailing wasn't ALL that bad. :D cuz when we raced to go back to shore, I got 3rd! :D behind Wenfeng and Cheeteng. ^^ super happy for myself.

But that's cuz it was all just upwind and shizz. If there was downwind involved, I would die then and get last again like the 2 races before. HAHAH. Weiming was all "Wah Gwen! See you ah, during normal races you're always last few. Then go back to shore WAH! 3rd sia!! GWEN STOP SLACKING!" super hilarious man. Kept laughing cuz he was telling me the same thing back to shore.

Hello? I didn't expect to see myself winning you when going back to shore either k. Hahah. It just came to me, naturally. :] maybe all hope isn't lost for my strongwind handling man!

DAD'S AGREED TO GIVE ME 40BUCKS TO GET A NEW PAIR OF BOOTIES! HAHAH. :D was super happy he just agreed like that, cuz he knows I've been using my booties since sec1. ^^

GRATS GERALD FOR GETTING 3RD YO. :D
Sadly, its for badminton. Ahh heck. You're still my bro, and jie will always support you dude! (till you get super childish again and when I start diao-ing you you know something's wrong.)

But he's still 4years younger than me. So brothers with sisters older than you by like 4-5 years, bewarned man. We're secretly (or openly, for me) thinking you dudes are childish. Hoho ;]

K super sleepy. Gonna eat apples, and sleeeeep. 10.47am only.

Ugh, and I'm feeling super headache and all.
Wondering if I'll still go to school tomorrow.


Even if I don't go to school, I betcha you won't notice that I'm not there. Hurhurhurrr.

6 down one to go.

Last paper tomorrow!

EVERYONE JIAYOUS! ;D
For 3E: Geog and Amath students yeah! :]

After that, a while of slacking and its back to mugging. Sec3 life.. sighhhh.

OHYEAH.
I FAILED EMATH. 10+/40. Hahahahahaha, hahahaha, HAHAHA. (goes crazy cuz she's disappointed with herself, REALLY disappointed)

I wanna bang a wall and die. I cried in class after Emath for the correct cause ^^ infact I think I was the only one who cried cuz everyone else was mad. HAHA. But yeah, I betcha I got lowest in class. D:

I hate life.

Wore jacket to school today cuz I was cold. And everyone's like "omg Gwen its so warm, I'm sweating, and you're WEARING A JACKET?!" o_o

Saw Kenkiong in the canteen today and asked him about the JEP thing, and he asked me to ask Cherilyn. Oooookay. And he seemed very siansian one. Then I found out he was having fever. D: omg must get well ah XIAO BAI TU! D:

Me and Ker were the only two idiots (not her, me) in 3E who wore PE shirt to school today. LOL man. But can wear la.

Bio+Chem paper wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be. Thanks Jani, Bev, Alex and Ker for all the last min Bio mugging! Cuz I only bothered to study for Chem. :D

Lit paper sucked. D: cuz totally all from the book! No unseen poems or any shizz. So I was quite disappointed. Got back lit class test 1 from Ms Yeo, and I got 19/25! :D one of the better ones. Think highest was Nicole with 22 or something? But yeah. :D I love my lit yeahhhh!

Went home straight after school (shocking, huh? I usually slack in school before going home) and turned on the com, signed into MSN and went to sleep =.= was really tired already. Slept for about 3hrs!

o__o omg pig.

Took over com from bro again and realised 6people talked to me on MSN. Uhm, one being him. Read what he said, got sad and cried. Stupid. Felt damn xin tong/heart suan, in a good way. But after that I realised how wrong I was.

Dumb Gwen. Dumbdumbbbbb Gwenny-oh.

I hate life.

If we're gonna keep being like that, no point for me to carry on holding high hopes. I should just let everything go. Fly fly a butterfly... Just.. get lost, out of my mind, will ya? I was ignoring you but what you said got me to break my own promise to myself.

I'll never seem to forget you, will I?

Disappointed in myself. And you. Yeaaah..

Didn't bother studying Geog. No mood, no whatever. I hate the fact geog is about essay-ish writing format again. :\

Still wondering if I should go for the field trip the sec4E geog students are going for.. but like my class.. only Syafiqah, Afiqah, Atiqah and Jani wanna go. I wonder if Ning takes geog, cuz she's from 4E and Mrs Koh says she's only taking the 4E geog students. :D

Really tired now. Guess Imma do some mind mapping for Geog 1.1-1.4 and then go lala land. :] :yawns:

I love Bev darling. Thanks for being there for me dear! :D

I wanna fall sick and die. Bleed to death or burst in flames for no unknown reason.
I hate 2008. 2008 SUCKS MANZX.. and to think 8 is my fav number. Hahahah BULLSHIT.


What hurts the most.. what hurts the most... is having so much to say, and watching you walk away.
Hate how much I love you.

Window

Listening to Hate That I Love You. :] again sent from Kenkiong :D

Realised its pretty nice.. oh well...

EMATH PAPER TODAY SUCKEDSUCKEDSUCKED!-
SUPER HARD AND NO TIME TO DO.

I'm a confirm fail for this one, cuz I minused about 20+ marks? And the paper's upon 40. GOOD GOING GWEN. A lot of people didn't touch the graph cuz there wasn't enough time. D: wapiang. Cried after my Math paper LOL.

English compo wasn't too bad :D wanted to write on the character on drugs but there wasn't enough time so I just wrote that she got reaaaally drunk and hurt her best friend a lot =.= hello? Like 30mins man.

Sailing today was pretty good. But I hated the fact that my skills went down by a lot from the fact that I missed so many trainings/water time. My downwind sucks, but it sucks even more now wth.

Capsized like 7times (or more) today in strong wind man. NOT GOOD K.

I NEVER capsize during strong wind except for when I'm on a run (or downwind la). K capped about 3 times on downwind, 1time when launching (was helping Peckkhee hold her boat) and 3times when sailing normally. SUCKED MAN.

And btw, bus to the sailing center was a FREE SAUNA!

You know when we did the IPP thing in class 2yrs back? When they announced that it was over every class slammed open their doors (which you could hear the "BAM! BAM! BAM!" sound) and everyone chionged out of their classrooms screaming the air outside felt like aircon and when the sec1s looked up they saw the sec2s, 3s and 4s waving frantically and felt as if we were all suddenly friends? x]

It felt like that. When we reached NSC we chionged out of the bus and went "OMG AIRCON!!" xD

Cuz the inside of the bus was so warm that the uppersec guys behind were taking off and unbuttoning their shirts (e.g. JACK [omg his was the worst. couldn't look infront cuz he was the only one who took off his whole shirt]). Me and Bryan took off our ties cuz we were sweating like hell. My legs collected sweat can!! It was all wet la. When we got off Mrs Sidhu was like, arm-chioing at the fact we were like lunatics ranting on about how the outside world felt like our world of aircon =.=

There were wasps at NSC! x] omg like ONE WHOLE BIG FKING SWARM MAN. Damn freaky. Apparently they built a new home at this bung of a Laser boat. So I was like "omggg." cuz there was suddenly this HUGE cloud of insects around the area we were rigging up at, didn't realise till Lianghong/Weiming went "Omg what's that?? :points to sky above me:"

"OMG WHAT THE HELL?! BEES?! OHHHH FREAK!!! :runs behind Lianghong:" then they changed swarming location and flew right INFRONT of the juniors while they were taking down their Picos from their pico shack! o__o they saw and the girls started screaming and suddenly the area was cleared from juniors =.=

Was held inside the Auditorium while they did fogging outside. Hur.. damn sian. Wenfeng stepped on Aaron's toe and Aaron's toe bled like shizz! o__o omg can. A lot of blood. The tissue side which he used to press it down with was BLOODAYYYE! D: but he still sailed. STUPIDDD.

Was so tempted to talk to * today. Could have when I passed him the clipboard to write our names, sail and boat numbers but I just smacked his shoulder and pushed the clipboard to him and carried on rigging. Oh fool, how much longer do I wanna hold up my pride man? K I think I suck. :\ seriously. Kinda miss talking to you already guy bestie. Shit, why did I start all this ignoring shit? GWEN WTEFF is wrong with you girl??!

I don't get why I keep wanting to di siao/guai lan him either. I just suddenly changed my attitude towards him instead of what I used to be. No wonder we're always arguing now. :( I should really know how to control what I wanna say man. I guess I'm more direct now than before.

Looking forward to literature and bio_chem combined papers tomorrow.

WISH ME LUCK MANZXZH! I'll be needing it, a hell load.

I LOVE LITERATURE.

And oh! Did I mention?

MR TANG CAME TO WATCH US SAIL TODAY! Cuz Mr Nara sent an email to all teachers inviting them to come down and sail (more like watch us sail man). And Mr Tang took up the offer!

In school he was wearing this sleeveless shirt and brown khaki pants instead of his dressy long sleeved shirt and black pants. So I was all o__o "kay why is he dressed like Mr Fong ah.." then he told me he's coming with us so I was all OMG! :D

He's setting the lit paper but he's got no idea whether there's any part of the lit text in it. So when I asked him and he gave me that reply and asked me to check with Ms Yeo I was all "MR TANG!! You set the paper and you dunno? HOW CANNNN." D:


She looked out the window and she saw a million stars, shine upon the house she sits in.

Searching thru her memory and she saw a little girl, cryin' alone in the dark.

She looked out the window and she saw a naked man, dying in the sunset.


If I could wish upon a million stars, I'd wish that we'd go back to what we were before all this started, and that you'd stay by my side and never leave me. IMY.

Hate That I Love You

Hate That I Love You
>Rihanna

That’s how much I love you
That’s how much I need you
And I can’t stand ya
Must everything you do make me wanna smile
Can I not like it for awhile
No.. but you won’t let me
You upset me girl, then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget that I was upset
Can’t remember what you did

Well I hate it
You know exactly what to do
So that I can’t stay mad at you
For too long, that’s wrong
Girl, I hate it
You know exactly how to touch
So that I don’t wanna fuss and fight no more
So I despise that I adore
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can’t stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can’t let you go
And I hate that I love you so..

And you completely know the power that you have
The only one that makes me laugh
Sad and it’s not fair how you take advantage of the fact that I
Love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain’t right

And I hate how much I love you girl
I can’t stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you girl
But I just can’t let you go
And I hate that I love you so

One of these days maybe your magic won’t affect me
And your kiss won’t make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you’ll probably always have a spell on me

That’s how much I love you
How much I need you
That’s how much I need you
That’s how much I love you
That’s how much I need you

And I hate that I love you so--
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can’t stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can’t let you go
And I hate that I love you so
And I hate that I love you so.. so...

-けして怒らず!
Kinda felt bad today. Idk why (or maybe I do). But I won't give in.. I guess.
I've gotta stick to what I've promised myself. I'm not giving in.

Chinese paper and SS paper today was total crap! D: I think I'm gonna flunk it. Awww.. :(

And guess what? Just lost my post and my draft wasn't saved. K not happy. Gotta retype. D:

Supposed to have light PT today. Light PT? We ran 4 ROUNDS AROUND SCHOOL to compare with 28th Jan's timing. And I deproved by 2mins. Omg. And the knee I hurt on Thursday's hurting more. :(

Study session in the IT Resource Room 2 with sailors. Listened to music from my hp the whole time inside while studying. Thank goodness my earpiece can put inside ear de, cuz everyone was like damn noisy! Distracting.

Quin brought over her laptop LOL. So she was doing notes inside it instead. :D lol! She went back with me after school (but went home, just took bus back together) cuz I needed to get my PE shorts. Peckkhee followed me home :D then met Quin at Macs to tabao lunch. Drank my Milo and I was too full to continue. So let juniors Genevieve (JENNYYY), Daomin and Aaron etc to eat it while Gene was writing her reflection.

LOL its how funny how the juniors panic over the reflection. Maybe I used to be like that too :D

When people see/when I tell them about my orh-cheh (blueblack) they'll be all "Gwen! OMG WHAT'S THIS?! o__o omgomg!" yeah I admit its freaking HUGEEE. D: hury heal! My right knee has one purple patch on it!! D:

Ate Newyork Newyork with mom, Celine and Aunty Serene! :D super yummy. :} pics up tomorrow! The bill totalled up to 71bucks o__o LOL la.

Tried the Fried Mars Bar. YUMMYYYY. But super sinful.
I think I've gained like an effing 1000kg man.

Emath and English tomorrow. Bummer. So gonna fail Emath k!

Tryna forget you. But its so hard- everytime I see you I wanna talk to you.
I'm such a weakling, huh?

Crabby. MRKRABS!

Had MICROWAVED crab for dinner tabao-ed from JUMBO SEAFOOD! :D yummy. But turned cold damn quickly. Kinda burnt my index finger and thumb when getting the bowl out of the microwave D:

Kept observing this lovelaye white flower that's in a Pink Dolphin waterbottle in the kitchen. Realised it bloomed within one day! ;D its damn nice.

My room's super messy already. Danggg it. :\

Gotta go tidy it up soon. & the amount of clothes in my closet has been halved ever since my maid went back to Indo for a while. D: shows my parents are bad houseparents! D:<

Baby I want you to be my ENTOURAGE-

Addicted to this song tho its damn old, music years ;D should search youtube for the dance choreo that Melissa Reyes did with this song in this dance class. :D super nice. I'm just lazy to post it up now.

Didn't go for dance today. Pam and Pris weren't feeling well. And I wanted to study for Common Test. But guess what? I was watching Run's House (1.30pm-6.30pm marathon!) when I fell asleep. When I woke up no mood to study le :(

My music list has expended! :D
THANKYOU KENKIONG!

Knew him for only 3days but he's already damn nice. :D thankyou thankyous! ;] he put a lot of songs into our sharing folder. Like I think almost 100 le. And there's the song by PARAMORE! Crush Crush Crush. Wanted that song last time but was lazy to find. THANKYOUU!! ;D

♥LOVES-

PHOTOS TAKEN OVER CNY! :D

OheMGee.. JUST LIKE RYAN!

My place. :D parkour-pros wannabes! :D very own musican-on-a-tricycle.

:D my V-day cards. Uh I know its blur. Quin and Iggy on the swings. And Quin's holding her two satay sticks! Haha.
Guitar freakkks. ;]

Hello sec3 sailors! You guys have no idea how much I love you guys. HAHAHA. :D ♥

g. ♥ チャッチャッ, watching.. watching.. gone. says:
hmm
g. ♥ チャッチャッ, watching.. watching.. gone. says:
sian
g. ♥ チャッチャッ, watching.. watching.. gone. says:
tomorrow after sailing pt wanna go macs and study?
g. ♥ チャッチャッ, watching.. watching.. gone. says:
:\ omg
g. ♥ チャッチャッ, watching.. watching.. gone. says:
can't believe i just said that.

Had this conversation with Quin on MSN. And I was like "o__o I think I just asked her to go study with me even tho we're gonna do hours of studying during sailing PT...."

Anyways. Having crab for dinner! :D mom ta-baoed from the dinner at the restaurant with my distant aunt who's so rich she gave me and my bro 50bucks each for angbao and she carries a bunch of 1000singdollars notes in her wallet o__o

Omg holy. I've never even TOUCHED a 1000dollar sing note k.

K hungry already.

And oh! RUN'S HOUSE is a MUSTMUSTMUST! watch show on MTV. Not sure when they're showing but I watched the 5hr marathon today. Super nice. Its a reality show on Reverand Run's (Joey Simmons, he's a singer/rapper) dramatic life with his family. Damn funny cuz its really damn drama.

And his house is so freaking big omg. Has a very own recording studio, basketball court (its like a street bball court), swimming pool..

I bet my Hongkong rich aunt has a house that big too.

I wanna be rich! D:

And oh,

The True You

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed. With respect to money, you spend as little as possible. You think good luck depends on maintaining good relationships with others. The hidden side of your personality tends to be satisfied to care for things with a minimal amount of effort. You have a tendency to overdo things, but basically you value your friendships highly. When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you will search and search until you find your perfect match.

Who's The True You?

Another Day

Another Day
>Amy Diamond

I'm sorry... for all the words i didn't say.
It's too late, Cause now you're gone so far away
I feel like I'm lost, got nothing left but shadow dreams.
I'm so lonley, i'm holding on to memories,
but then i feel your love surrounding me,
and it takes away the pain inside of me

I believe.. I believe we'll be together
Another day, Another time and place,
somewhere, someway, we'll meet another day
Another day.. Belongs to you and me,
somewhere, someway
Another day...

Oh darling, We may be so far apart, but i know that..
you'll allways stay inside my heart
Forever. Cause your the only love i've ever known.
Together, I'll never have to be alone.
Your spirit gives me hope to carry on.
I understand that even though your gone... live goes on
Life goes on without you baby..

Another day, Another time and place,
somewhere, someway, we'll meet another day
Another day.. Belongs to you and me,
somewhere, someway

Another day, Another time and place,
somewhere, someway, we'll meet another day
Another day.. Belongs to you and me,
somewhere, someway

Another day.....

A choreo presented by BAMN! :D


Pretty awesome eh. I liked the way they managed to capture the beat, really amazing!

I wanna try self-learning their choreo. I like this kind of choreography- kinda like funk choreos! :D

Went to Jack's place (no, I don't mean the restaurant. Its JACK/Yingpeng's place) for dinner yesterday. RICH KID. His house was so bloody big, at Lentor. And his room's toilet is as wide as the width of my room.

He has this exercise machine in his room and his bed is for 2 people de. Omg la. DAMMNNNN big. Aaron and Nic stayed over. Actually we wanted to, but Cheeteng and Iggy wanted to go home so we followed. Hahah.

Wasn't on good terms with my parents. To the extent I wanted to stay over at Iggy's place with Quin and not tell them. But see la I'm such a good child. Still smsed my dad. But he still didn't lemme stay. So I camped there till 2am then my dad come fetch me lol.

IGGY'S IPOD TOUCH IS SO CHIO AHHHHHHHH!

K. Shan't post about emo-ish stuffs anymore.

Shall be positive and whatever! Hahahaha.

Really tired today. Felt like skipping school in the morning but was like, what for. Almost slept during Geog and Emath, which were the only 2 subjects we had today. Mr Ho wasn't here lol. :D

Literally slept in the canteen during recess cuz I was damn tired kay! Hahah. Sera darling finally joined us for recess! :D yayness. Hahaha.

Went out with David, Ryan, Quin and Aaron after school. Pei David to watch him cut hair (:D) and then we went to the jamming studio near Downtime (LAN shop). Louis and Winston were already there, David went home to wash up first.

So they practiced. Not too bad :D I don't mind being another supporter of theirs. Except when Ryan zhaoxias it sounds REAL funny. x]

And oh,
I PLAYED THE DRUMS TODAY!

Cuz David was gonna help Ryan with the vocals. So they were all swapping positions till no one was at the drums (tho all of them but Ryan can play drums). So David asked me to help :D constant and easy beat. Damn fun to play k! ;D I wanna learn drummmms.

They jammed till 5 and we went to LONGHOUSE to eat. But since it was Gerald's bday I had to eat dinner with my family. :/

Went to this place that they brought me Quin and Aaron to. Its this space near all the private housing. Sat there and had fun! :D STUPID LOUIS. Threw his melted Merci chocos at meee! D: now my uniform's dirty :(

Went to AMKHub to meet family at Pepper Lunch for dinner to celebrate Ger's bday. Zzz damn bored. Became unhappy again tho. ^^ hahah.

Then went to look around for my Kappa school shoes and Ger's bday cake. He bought Black Forest cake while my mom got coffee cheesecake. Only one slice each, tho. Was all too full.

On the way back home mom kpkb again. DAMN PEKCHEK CAN. Didn't care much after that, just saying I LOVE MY ROOM. :D

And oh, THANKS KENKIONG FOR SENDING ME SONGS! And offering to help me find that Jap song. :D he's so nice can. Only knew him for a while via MSN and he's helping me do stuffs already. And yes my playlist of songs are damn outdated. HAHA.

:D shan't think negative. Positive.. positive.

Throw it away, forget yesterday.
We'll make the greaaaat escaaaape.

Cuz you won't understand hurt like I do-

I wonder if it really hurts when you slit your wrists.. hmm. x] hahah.

Valentine's Day- but all the same horribleness and terribleness happens. Shit happens.

Sailing sucked. Big time. Winds gusty like shit, and shifty. I hate shifty winds. Might need to wear kneeguard to school tomorrow, since while uprighting my boat I knocked my knee so hard against the boat I couldn't straighten my knee without feeling the OUCH.

Had to tahan, but ended up last during that race (was like, 7th at 1st and 2nd upwind and 1st downwind). Dylan still guailan me. Very pekchek k. Pulled up the boat myself with an injured knee, no one helped. Thanks Peckkhee, Mubarak and Nicholas Yeow for helping me unrig! :D thankyou thankyou! loves.

Feeling worse today. Again had this mini arguement thing, and duh. A lot of things I didn't wanna hear. Surprisingly I seemed to know/predict what he was gonna say. So yeah, I've got nothing more to say. I mean, I expected this. I knew it.

But I don't know why its so hard to let go. All the promises were barely promises made to be broken. If I said my heart shattered, would it be too big an exaggeration?

I'd guess not.

Quarrelled with my mom when she scolded me for telling my bro to shaddup. I mean, hello? Not like I told him to f*ing bang a wall and die right. And she got all worked up. Ate dinner in my room halfway she kaobei me. So I just dumped the food outside on the table and skipped my dinner.

I had no mood to eat anyways after the arguement.

Stomach didn't feel good again. And this is like the what, 3/5 days this week I had diahorrea. And it sucks k. The 243242343243243th time ever since Chinese New Year, too. D: I'm suspecting I need to see a doctor..

Didn't go visit ahmah. I wonder how she is, tho. I don't cry as often when I think about her slowly losing her memory, but it hurts still. Oh well.. the time will come when she totally forgets my name.

I wished I had memory loss. I would forget everything, everyone, all things good and bad that happened to me, especially last and this year. All the drama, and the fact I'm getting upset every other day over a guy who forgotten me. Hmm.

I just wish I could run away from home, or slit my wrists till I bleed and die. Pretty emo for someone as cheerful as me, but when you get so many problems at one go, all you feel like doing is dying. And I'm serious.

My life's jinxed. I'm just leading a horrible life now.

So go away, leave me alone.

I think tomorrow's the day when I really go to school, not my cheerful noisy self anymore. It'll happen sooner or later. I guess its happening now.


Return me the shirt if you want to. It'd just hurt me more. In this case, shouldn't it be me getting mad/upset at you instead of you doing that to me and calling the shots? End up you think I'm a loonatic. I think I'm going crazy, with everything happening to me suddenly at one go. I love you, I really do. But your empty promises just seem to make me catch no ball now- I'm too used to crying over you. I've ignored the facts I've been hurt, but what for when all you want is for me to stop talking to you?

Then let me ask: why'd you bother calling me literally everyday?

I Don't Wanna Be In Love (Dance Floor Anthem)

I Don't Wanna Be In Love (Dance Floor Anthem)
>Good Charlotte

She’s going out to forget they were together
All that time he was taking her for granted
She wants to see if there’s more
than he gave she’s looking for

He calls her up
He’s trippin' on the phone now
He doesn’t want her out there
And alone now
He knows she’s movin' it
Knows she’s using it
Now he’s losing it
She don’t care

Everybody put up your hands
Say I don’t wanna be in love
I don’t wanna be in love
Feel the beat now
If you’ve got nothing left
Say I don’t wanna be in love
I don’t wanna be in love
Back it up now
You’ve got a reason to live
Say I don’t wanna be in love
I don’t wanna be in love
Feelin' good now
Don’t be afraid to get down
Say I don’t wanna be in love
I don’t wanna be in love

He was always giving her attention
looking hard to find the things she mentioned
He was dedicated
By most suckers hated
That girl was fine
But she didn’t appreciate him

She calls him up
She’s tripping on the phone now
He had to get up
And he ain’t comin' home now
He’s tryin' to forget her
That’s how he got with her
When he first met her
When they first got together

Everybody put up your hands
Say I don’t wanna be in love
I don’t wanna be in love
Feel the beat now
If you got nothing left
Say I don’t wanna be in love
I don’t wanna be in love
Back it up now
You got a reason to live
Say I don’t wanna be in love
I don’t wanna be in love
Feelin' good now
Don’t be afraid to get down
Say I don’t wanna be in love
I don’t wanna be in love

To the beat (x3)
You got nothing to lose
Don’t be afraid to get down

We break up
It’s something that we do now
Everyone has got to do it sometime
It’s okay, let it go
Get out there and find someone

It’s too late to be trippin' on the phone here
Get off the wire
You know everything is good here
Stop what you’re doin'
You don’t wanna ruin
The chance that you got to
find a new one

Everybody put up your hands
Say I don’t wanna be in love
I don’t wanna be in love
feel the beat now
If you got nothing left
Say I don’t wanna be in love
I don’t wanna be in love
Back it up now
You got a reason to live
Say I don’t wanna be in love
I don’t wanna be in love
Feelin' good now
Don’t be afraid to get down
Say I don’t wanna be in love
I don’t wanna be in love

Now you know what to do, so come on feelin' good

Heard the song I just posted lyrics on on Yaorui (SHORTY)'s blog! And I like it already. Hahah.

Felt really tired today, idk why either. Almost slept during all of the first 3 periods. During Math Mr Izzal walked past and Lianyi quickly woke me up and I think I felt him staring at me. o__o whoops. But Mr Chng was giving out the test papers so I was resting.

Didn't sail today. Winds seemed good but people said it sucked out there. Shifty winds. Yeah can tell, helping Peckkhee pull out boat to launch also wind changed just like that.

Had diahorrea in the morning and a super fugly headache so I told Mrs Sidhu. Quin wasn't feeling too good so she also didn't sail. Wenfeng got scolded so he couldn't sail.

Did bio homework with Quin. Soooo yeah, realised I still don't know a lot of shizz. Still prefer chem.

Helped the rest unrig when they came back. Got a lil' wet D: my shoes!! Tomorrow still gotta wear de lei, and now its all sandy D:

When I saw the sec1s come back I chucked my stuffs at the girl's toilet area where we dump our bags and went to help the seniors pull up their boat. Helped Weiming first, and he kicked sand in my shoe when I complained a lot of sand going in =.= wthhhh la!

Then helped Justin. Stupid pig Law. Go back to see who need help, then Ryan asked me help him pull. Justin "Oei dog! Help me lei.." =.= and I helped him instead. Zzz. While pulling boat together complained to him Weiming kicked a lot of sand into my shoes, then (TYPICAL OF HIM) he went to kick this whole bunch of sand into my shoes!!! Can still squeeze seawater from his gloves to try to wet me sia. YOU GOOD, YOU GOOD! Go bang wall and die la.

And he thinks if I sailed in this kinda wind (today), I would die. Hello, I can handle strong wind :D but so long never sail.. my hiking out sucks la. Even when I sailed Pico with Daomin. :(

I wanna screaaaam. A heck lot. I'm so tired of my life. Sometimes I wished I could just end it. Its so simple, ei? 4 (or more) problems, all stabbing at my heart- really hurts.

My parents told me ahmah's memory seems to be getting worse. What she said 5mins ago, she can't even remember, and she asks again. And I feel guilty, cuz when I saw her today, I hardly talked to her. I didn't know what to say, I really didn't.

So during dinner since Justin called I just went into the room and talked to him. And uh, now I'm not happy again cuz of something.

Wtf is wrong with me. Maybe I'm just being my usual selfish self, not caring for others. Not bothering with what the heck they're up to. Maybe I should be the one to go bang a wall and die. Idk.

I wanna stop arguing with you, I really do.

Lots of problems this year.
So tempted to buy a penknife. Stab stabbity stab stab stab.

And yet, no one understands me. NO ONE- not even you.

You just randomly accuse me of what I think and what I feel. But what I'm thinking is the total opposite of what you accused me of thinking. What I said (twice), I really meant it. Tho I made it seem like a laughing thing.

I wanna scream so badly how much I love you. But knowing myself, I know I never will.
(What hurts the most-
is watching you out of the corner of my eyes and wishing I had the courage to talk to you like I do to others. I'm sorry I'm like that, I know you're not happy I talk to easily and often to all the guy sailors but you. But when you pair me with others- are you jealous? Or just doing it out of poor fun? I'm sorry I seem to keep PMS-ing on you. But you're no longer mine, I don't feel the security. You'll just forget me and my very existence, won't you?)

What Hurts The Most

What Hurts The Most
> Rascal Flats

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do

Randomness- oh the joy.

Hello umbrella woman! I miss you!

To be truthful, I kinda miss my maid. Its like coming home without anyone is kinda suckish. Hahah. Was rummaging thru for pics to post when I saw a pic of her. Awwww come back soon! {cuz to be honest, my mom's a bad housewife.

The sky near my block always seems pretty. Wonder why. ;D

Realised my bro's birthday is in like what, 3days? (15th Feb) and I've not gotten the pencilcase I've been thinking of getting him. Happy be-earlied birthday Gerald, please grow older- mentally. ^^

Someone free on Wednesday to accompany this girl to buy a birthday present and a long-owed Christmas present?

AND V-day chocolates if I've got e money. $.$ :D
(Yes Ker I know I owe you a v-day gift. Will you be my valentine?)

Badabababaaaa, I'm Lovin' It!

Hallelujah to randomness olaye!

I loveeeeeee you! ;D
MUAAAAAHS. o__o

(told you randomness is bad. For health, and for Gwen)

Aww 14th Feb there's training. K not like I've got someone to celebrate V-day with besides girlfriends, so yeah. I'll spend time hoping I'm gonna get a nice crispppp sail like NSC11 or something for training. Oh the joy! OH THE CELEBRATION!

My boat's gonna be my date for V-day. ^^ hearts.
I MISS SIN412 D: and I heard Tanjong Katong's using it.

OMG. That's the worst decision anyone can make. Why, MOE? WHY?! My darling's gonna get trashed and ruined. D: *heartbreak*

Tired shizz.

Wah, super headache now. Feel like sleeping but I've got homework to do! D:

Almost slept during Chinese and Geog. Omg la. I really need sweets to keep me going k. :(

PT was super.. wahhhsei today. Cuz MRS SIDHU BLUFFED US! D:< rarrrgh. Mrs Sidhu how could you! LOL. We thought it was too good to be true that we only had to run 3 rounds-

and we were right.

Ended up running 8rounds (or 8sets to badminton/bball people). 6 normal 2 timing. Wah cuz I really thought we can slack today I chionged the first 3 rounds. Ended up after all the pumping and crunches still got somemore. D:

Went home and after that went to ah gu's place for dinner and bai nian. Didn't wanna go at first but oh well, wasn't too bad. Been a long time since I saw him anyways.

Can't believe how I fell asleep on the car there with my earpiece in my ear, and yet not realise the song had changed to my ringtone. Meaning someone called me, but I was semi-asleep and I should've realised the song was totally way at the back of my playlist. =.= sorry piggy! HAHAH. :D

Dad bought half a roasted duck (omg I typed so fast it came out as f**k) and brought it to ahgu's place but I was damn full from the bao and the cookie from Subway (from Saturdayyy). It was damn soft la. So yeah now never leave a Subway cookie for 2days or you'd regret- SUPER SOFT. D:

Sailing tomorrow. Legs aching everywhere, shin bone still injured, right knee hurting after running today. Omg how could anything get worse.

Sorry if I seemed to to be in a bad mood or whatever in class during Chinese people. Its like, you guys gotta know when to quieten down. I was tryna write my zuowen and then you guys break into laughter and talk damn loud.

In other words, I was having a really bad day starting from morning, and I just felt it got worse and worse. :( cried in class to myself while the 3A people left after Chinese. Darren said goodbye to me and when I raised my head to reply he was all "you look like you're crying." but I told him I just yawned till I teared. Hah.

Going to ahmah's place for dinner tomorrow after sailing.

Omg I feel like crying.

(Gwen you're such a weakling. You've gotta face this someday. All old folks will eventually lose their memory. Yours has just started to show signs she's gonna lose all her memories very soon. Face the music and be strong, you've gotta be there for her right now and spend all the time you can with her before she even forgets.. you.)

Don't make promises when they're meant to be broken-

MORE blogthings! >:D

What Gwendolyn Means

You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life. You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone. Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs. You are very charming... dangerously so. You have the potential to break a lot of hearts. You know how what you want, how to get it, and that you will get it. You have the power to rule the world. Let's hope you're a benevolent dictator! You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row. You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace. People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality. You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life. You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you. At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself. You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow. You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily. Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is. You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in. You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising. You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

You Are Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream

A classic and an original, no wonder everyone snakes your style!

What Flavor Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream Are You?

You Would Do Most Things For Love

You are willing to go pretty far for love - but not far enough to compromise your core values. Love is a priority for you, and you'll go further than most people to hold on to someone you love. But killing for love? Or even taking a bullet? Probably out of the question. No matter what, you love yourself the most!

Would You Do Anything For Love?

Sailors <3

Its so fun so spam Blogthings. Got tempted by Drey and Jiaqi. Hahah.

So ended up only the sec3s came over today, and it was damn fun. :D Iggy, David, Nic, Quin and Aaron. ;]

Nic, David, Quin and I watched The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift (OMG AWEEEESOME! I'm so happy I The Fast and The Furious PSP game), while Iggy and Aaron camped in my room O2Jamming.

Went out with them to Downtime, near Thomson Plaza. Played Battle Field 2 (something like Counter Strike). Me, David and Aaron vs. Nic, Quin and Iggy! Damn fun k. But got a bit sian cuz I was sniping x] I think we lost eventually but we were damn close to winning la. Kept changing as we played.

Aaron and Nic left. Then we played Audi till we had to pay like $6.20. IGGY AND DAVID FINALLY TRIED AUDI! :D hahaha!

Dinnered at Thomson Plaza, walked around, went to Yamaha and David got a drink at KFC so we sat down to chat a bit. :] cabbed home after that, thanks Iggy and David! :D

As I was walking back I was thinking maybe it's a good thing this was a sec3s-only kinda thing. LOL.

BLOGTHINGS >:D

Got tempted to do some of these, since my online life is oh-so-boring..

Your Birthdate: April 8

Watch out Donald Trump! You've got a head for business and money. You'll make it rich some day, even if you haven't figured out how yet. A supreme individualist, you shouldn't get stuck in a corporate job. Instead, make your own way - so that you can be the boss. Your strength: Your undying determination Your weakness: You require an opulent lifestyle Your power color: Plum Your power symbol: Dollar sign Your power month: August

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

You Are 32% Evil

A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well. In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.

How Evil Are You?

You Should Be an Artist

You are incredibly creative, spontaneous, and unique. No one can guess what you're going to do next, but it's usually something amazing. You can't deal with routine, rules, or structure. You're easily bored. As long as you are able to innovate and break the rules, you are extremely successful. You do best when you: - Can work by yourself - Can express your personality in your work You would also be a good journalist or actor.

What Should You Be When You Grow Up?

You Act Like You Are 12 Years Old

You are a kid at heart. You never quite really grew up. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. Playful and fun, you bring a lighthearted attitude to every part of life. You're a little irresponsible, but your charm makes up for it (in most cases)!

What Age Do You Act?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

You are 67% Aries

How Aries Are You?

Your Expression Number is 11

You tend to be associated with idealistic concepts and spiritual issues. You have high potentials that are somewhat difficult to live up to. You have very strong intuition and you can be a bit psychic at times. Highly inspirational, you can lead merely by your own example. You have an inborn inner strength and awareness that helps you advise others. Although you have what it takes for a successful career, you belong outside the business world. Overly sensitive and temperamental, you tend to have a lot of nervous tension. You dream a lot, so much so that you may be more of a dreamer than a doer. Fantasy and reality tend to get intermingled for you, and that leads to impracticality.

What's Your Expression Number?

You Are a Little Messy

You aren't the cleanest person in the world, but you're definitely not a slob. You clean up when you have the time, but you're realistic about what you can get done. Generally, you're pretty organized and tidy - though you may have a few hidden messes. You eventually get around to making things spotless, but you do it on your own schedule!

Are You Messy?

If You Were Slightly Different, Your Name Would Be:

Gwenifer

What Would Your Name Be If You Were Slightly Different?

You Are 36% Bitchy

You're a pretty sweet person, and you're definitely not prone to bitchy outbursts. Sometimes, though, you can't help thinking mean thoughts about people. But at least you don't act on them!

How Bitchy Are You?

You Should Drive a Ferrari

Sleek and sexy, style has a lot of importance in your life. And you'll pay a lot to look good!

What Sports Car Should You Drive?

You Are 61% Perfectionist

You are a true perfectionist. You are both demanding of yourself and others. While it's great to have goals and standards, they don't need to be sky high!

Are You a Perfectionist?