RANT, Gwen, RANT.

Y'know. I just wanna rant.

I just don't wanna be bothered with anything.

Maybe, outside I seem happy. Like super happy. But inside- its like I just wish I could let everything go. Every single shit I feel, everything I want to say, everything I wanna vent my anger on because.

Anyway,
I don't understand you at all. Why're you so SELF-CONTRADICTING? You're the one causing all this messy shit. If you feel this way why're you doing something to make me think you're not? Whats the use? You gonna tell me? What am I supposed to do. I thought I knew you better. Nothing's gonna be good, this whole narrated scene would just replay itself again and again. Go self-contradict yourself and get me out of this confusion. I'm tired.

AND,
I don't know what I should be thinking about you. Got influenced at the start of the year so I disliked you. Then it all got better but now.. I've really got nothing to say. Just, treasure those around you, stop taking them for granted, stop behaving in this way that makes me think that you think they've got no feelings at all. Watching this whole storyline sucks cuz everything just adds on to what impression I've got of you. You're a dear girl to me but please don't change that now. Be happy with what you've got, you can take a look at me and compare me with yourself and think, "who's more pathetic?". Everyone cares about you, everyone's concerned, and its just cuz you think too much and worry too much. I envy you. No one ever did bother about me. Please don't let your moodswings get in the way of how you feel and view people cuz when you let that happen, it sucks.

ANDDDD.
What to say about you. Hmm. Oh, right. I'm tired and sick of having to put up with you. Your moodswings is the problem. I feel that you take me for granted, I mean, as a good friend, you can show your true colors to me and shun them when it comes to being around other people. I'm tired of putting up with this. And when it comes to popularity, you can just dump me aside and forget me, leaving me all alone. Sometimes even the people I'm around are better than you. Whats the point of you always getting annoyed at me and when I see you and other people, you never seem to? You're making me feel all left out, all pangsehed. Last year I never did expect things to turn out this way. Yeah I might seem fine with you but you should really learn to stop venting your fustrations on people like that, y'know? Cuz it sucks. SUCKSSUCKSSUCKS!

YOUUUUU.
You've got your problems but I've got mine too. Infact I feel I have to deal with more, except its not too big a blow, or at least on the outside its not. You can go around taking pity on others but for me? You never did seem to care about how I feel. Its always about THEM. The other two? You can still label me a bestie or something. You confide in me, I've never did confide in you. But you've never understood how I feel about anything- relationships, life, etc. Go to her, she's more important. You never did know how I feel whenever you just ignore me like that, or suddenly just stand up and go somewhere else. I just stare ahead, sigh, and want to go to sleep. Oooooh yeah, I could NEVER have felt better.


Mehhhh. I think I should just buy a diary so I can scribble all my nonsense inside it.

Life sucks and its fucking up on me again. Why me? Why're you chosing me as a target you dumbass. Huh? All the problems have gotta bombard me at once. Luckily my family's fine or I'd really 'take a leap of faith' off the HDB flat.

Over and out.


p.s. And Audrey? Sorry if removing the confetti during the open house for the sailing booth seemed like it was removing all of your efforts. Everything was MY fault, yeayea and I still managed to say the booth seemed plain, just after we cleaned it up. Yuppppp. Everything was my fault from the start anyways. I don't make sense at all. I just kept reading that big, literally highlighted out paragraph over and over again, tryna see what faults I've got again and again and what I've done wrong to you, maybe. I'M SORRY THAT THE WORK THE GUYS AND GIRLS PUT IN WERE ALL REMOVED CUZ OF ME. Maybe I've always been such a doofus. Its no wonder if I hear that people dislike me. Sorry if I've offended you in anyway but yeah. I can't say I'm really happy with what I just read. Made me realise I'm at fault and that I'm dumb cuz I don't seem to make any fucking sense. Ahahahahaaaaaaaa- bitter laughers.

Anyways, if that was your point,




I'm happy to say I got it.


K. sorry. I really needed to rant everything I wanted to off in this post. If you got offended, please know, Gwen's PMS-ing or something.
But just know that she's really upset now and is gonna explode if she can't find anywhere to literally scream out. Thank you for understanding :]

And urgh. I should really stop letting my anger get in the way. If not I'm just gonna repeat pri5 life again and everyone's gonna hate me lalala.