Growing up ;]

Suddenly I feel that we're all growing up.

Like a few years back all that mattered were dolls and toys. Then a few months back all that mattered was feelings and studies. And suddenly, now, all that matters is getting a job o.o

It felt weird la, seeing me and Cia exchange friendster testimonials about jobs. Like we're actually talking about the JOBS we're gonna go for interviews for. Haha.

WOMAN, WE'RE GROWING UP! :D

And oh, being best friends is better than being a -sjhdaskhdwg- ei. Hahah. ;] (don't bother counting the number of letters and trying to fit in a word cuz its just a random number of letters)
Soooo, you're one of my besties!

I love my bestie! :D much loves boy.

Definitly feeling much better today than yesterday. Thanks Yokeching and Peckkhee for the tags! You guys are the best :D

For now, I shall look forward to a job and a suckish uniform and my new subjects for next year. Hopefully 3Endeavour's subjects. :D


These are the things I'll learn to part with as I grow up ;]

Say It Right

Say It Right
>Nelly Furtado

In the day
In the night
Say it all
Say it right
You either got it
Or you don't
You either stand or you fall
When your will is broken
When it slips from your hand
When there's no time for joking
There's a hole in the plan

Oh you don't mean nothing at all to me
No you don't mean nothing at all to me
Do you got what it takes to set me free
Oh you could mean everything to me

I can't say that I'm not lost and at fault
I can't say that I don't love the light and the dark
I can't say that I don't know that I am alive
And all of what I feel I could show
You tonite you tonite

From my hands I could give you
Something that I made
From my mouth I could sing you another brick that I laid
From my body I could show you a place God knows
You should know the space is holy
Do you really want to go?

RANT, Gwen, RANT.

Y'know. I just wanna rant.

I just don't wanna be bothered with anything.

Maybe, outside I seem happy. Like super happy. But inside- its like I just wish I could let everything go. Every single shit I feel, everything I want to say, everything I wanna vent my anger on because.

Anyway,
I don't understand you at all. Why're you so SELF-CONTRADICTING? You're the one causing all this messy shit. If you feel this way why're you doing something to make me think you're not? Whats the use? You gonna tell me? What am I supposed to do. I thought I knew you better. Nothing's gonna be good, this whole narrated scene would just replay itself again and again. Go self-contradict yourself and get me out of this confusion. I'm tired.

AND,
I don't know what I should be thinking about you. Got influenced at the start of the year so I disliked you. Then it all got better but now.. I've really got nothing to say. Just, treasure those around you, stop taking them for granted, stop behaving in this way that makes me think that you think they've got no feelings at all. Watching this whole storyline sucks cuz everything just adds on to what impression I've got of you. You're a dear girl to me but please don't change that now. Be happy with what you've got, you can take a look at me and compare me with yourself and think, "who's more pathetic?". Everyone cares about you, everyone's concerned, and its just cuz you think too much and worry too much. I envy you. No one ever did bother about me. Please don't let your moodswings get in the way of how you feel and view people cuz when you let that happen, it sucks.

ANDDDD.
What to say about you. Hmm. Oh, right. I'm tired and sick of having to put up with you. Your moodswings is the problem. I feel that you take me for granted, I mean, as a good friend, you can show your true colors to me and shun them when it comes to being around other people. I'm tired of putting up with this. And when it comes to popularity, you can just dump me aside and forget me, leaving me all alone. Sometimes even the people I'm around are better than you. Whats the point of you always getting annoyed at me and when I see you and other people, you never seem to? You're making me feel all left out, all pangsehed. Last year I never did expect things to turn out this way. Yeah I might seem fine with you but you should really learn to stop venting your fustrations on people like that, y'know? Cuz it sucks. SUCKSSUCKSSUCKS!

YOUUUUU.
You've got your problems but I've got mine too. Infact I feel I have to deal with more, except its not too big a blow, or at least on the outside its not. You can go around taking pity on others but for me? You never did seem to care about how I feel. Its always about THEM. The other two? You can still label me a bestie or something. You confide in me, I've never did confide in you. But you've never understood how I feel about anything- relationships, life, etc. Go to her, she's more important. You never did know how I feel whenever you just ignore me like that, or suddenly just stand up and go somewhere else. I just stare ahead, sigh, and want to go to sleep. Oooooh yeah, I could NEVER have felt better.


Mehhhh. I think I should just buy a diary so I can scribble all my nonsense inside it.

Life sucks and its fucking up on me again. Why me? Why're you chosing me as a target you dumbass. Huh? All the problems have gotta bombard me at once. Luckily my family's fine or I'd really 'take a leap of faith' off the HDB flat.

Over and out.


p.s. And Audrey? Sorry if removing the confetti during the open house for the sailing booth seemed like it was removing all of your efforts. Everything was MY fault, yeayea and I still managed to say the booth seemed plain, just after we cleaned it up. Yuppppp. Everything was my fault from the start anyways. I don't make sense at all. I just kept reading that big, literally highlighted out paragraph over and over again, tryna see what faults I've got again and again and what I've done wrong to you, maybe. I'M SORRY THAT THE WORK THE GUYS AND GIRLS PUT IN WERE ALL REMOVED CUZ OF ME. Maybe I've always been such a doofus. Its no wonder if I hear that people dislike me. Sorry if I've offended you in anyway but yeah. I can't say I'm really happy with what I just read. Made me realise I'm at fault and that I'm dumb cuz I don't seem to make any fucking sense. Ahahahahaaaaaaaa- bitter laughers.

Anyways, if that was your point,




I'm happy to say I got it.


K. sorry. I really needed to rant everything I wanted to off in this post. If you got offended, please know, Gwen's PMS-ing or something.
But just know that she's really upset now and is gonna explode if she can't find anywhere to literally scream out. Thank you for understanding :]

And urgh. I should really stop letting my anger get in the way. If not I'm just gonna repeat pri5 life again and everyone's gonna hate me lalala.

Whoops!
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY NINGXIN HUNNN AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!

I'm so tired of everything.

Just wish you were here with me by my side. But I can only smile and tear it away-

Studio Wu...?

Ah bloody. So many comments on my tagboard ahha. But I'm too lazy to reply 'em :]

Its 5.06AM people! :D

Spent the whole day at home and rotted. 'Nuff said.

I'm sleepy but not sleepy enough to sleep. Argh. Played my Aquila maple char just now and met another late-nighter. People who don't wanna sleep ;] ahhah!

Tomorrow going aunt's place to eat lunch D: sigh. Told my mom got dance at 3.30pm she wants me to go till, just go ealier. I still need to buy my top and half-jacket for dance! Kukuheads :/ scared not enough time.

Ohmg why the hell is Christmas Party playing on my iTunes. o.o

And I finally got the song I need for dance from Elie :D thankyou dearrrr! xoxo. Oh shit. Forgot to ask my mom if I can go work at Yoshinoya with Elie and Jiaqi for the hols D: just hoping the pay's good.

Excited for dance tomorrow :D don't care la I get kor to be my partner- since he's going tomorrow anyways. :D

And oh, I wanna go take PURELY poppin' and lockin' lessons from STUDIO WU (its a dance school).

Jiaqi said Winteng'll pass to me this paper thing that gives me one whole free lesson for a whole day. The dancers from our school are going on Saturday, so Elie doesn't wanna go on Sat. And oh, the price of Studio Wu's lessons are cheaper, about 60bucks a month for students.

But then I bet its like those kinda bigbig classes with over 8 people! D: I dowannnnn! ) :

IDON'TCARE. I might even ask my mom to consider letting me take lessons from 2 dance schools. :] but it'll be like 140bucks per month D: don't think she'd allow. If I take it'd be on Fridays (Studio Wu's poppin/lockin lessons) and Sundays (Hiphop Kids'pore- Maqrius's hiphop lessons).

If Maqrius doesn't move on to more popping or locking stuffs, I might change to Studio Wu.

When I'm older I shall go to Korea and try out lessons in Winners Dance School! THE ONE HYOYEON'S FROM, AHHHHHHHH! :D

Okay blogging just killed my remaining brain cells, and its 5.17AM. Needa catch some Zzz's or I'd die tomorrow in dance for good :] then the world will rejoice yayness!


I wanna replay those moments and jump into the scenes all over again.

FAREAST PLAZAAAA & BAGGY CARGOS

YAYNESS!
FINALLY GOT THE PANTS I WANTED FOR HIPHOP! :]

Its at the shop Jiaqi showed me. The one where all the sec3 seniors got their pants. Infact I got the same one as them. o.o Wanted to get half jacket and a pink racerback shirt at the basement to match my pants but didn't. BO LUI!

Saw a lot of pretty NIKE DUNKS AND NIKE CORTEZ! Omg so pretty. I wanna drag my mom to Far East D: got a lot of things I want and need.

HAHAHAHA MAQRIUS! YOU HAVE NO REASON TO SCOLD ME FOR NOT DRESSING LIKE A HIPHOP DANCER! :D finallyyyyyy! But you CAN scold me for not bringing a partner for couple dance la. I still can't find one. Oh bummer.

And oh,
TODAY'S THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!
D: AND :D

Got report books back. Hmm. Only an A. For ART. Hah I knew I could depend on art. But heck 72 for art is like chao lan D:

After school went to Elie's place and played with her piano-ish keyboard. She changed and stuffs and we left to meet Jiaqi at the bus stop. PAISEH QI DARLING! We were like 30mins late? Jiaqi said she almost fell asleep D:

Walked to the bus stop that has buses to Qi's house and waited. And Jiaqi gave Elie this card thingy for a free dance session the whole day! LIKE OMG. :D She said Winteng would pass to me one too. :] thanks Winteng darl! :D

Jiaqi got changed, wearing a KIDDY ATTIRE! :] RED MICKEY MOUSE TEE, WHITE PRI5-LIKE SHORTS WITH A FLOWER AND A BAG WITH TEDDIEBEAR PRINTS! :] and we took a bus to my place. Jiaqi was the kiddo! ;]

We spent a heckofa long time at my house la. Supposed to be I bathe and we go out for lunch. But end up my maid made SUSHI so we ate at my house, and I bathed at about 3pm when I should've at 1pm =.= JIAQI KEPT TAKING SNEAK PICS WHEN ME AND ELIE WERE TIDYING UP OUR HAIR ETC! xD

Took a bus to Far East. Got really sleepy- its like damn sian can. MRT would've been faster but Elie didn't wanna take MRT D: ahha.

Jiaqi fell asleep when we were almost there. And her head was like on my shoulder the whole time. So sweeeeet! :D got to Far East and woke her up. Bought bubbletea and went to shopppp! :D

The pants were okay for Medium but it was just nice, so I got L as it was wayyyyy baggier :] super chio pants. Infact, everything on Far East's fourth floor's SUPER CHIO! :D haha. First time I shopped in other levels than Far East's basement o.o

Elie loves boots! Jiaqi loves Little Miss tees! I love baggy cargos and chio Nike Cortez! :]

Jiaqi went home, so me and Elie walked around and around Far East for a while. Elie got this half jacket that I wanted, and then I saw this pink racerback that would've gone real nicely with the half jacket and the pants but the racerback shirt only came with a cashmiere or whatever D: and it was 30bucks together D:

Went to AMK's Sumo House for dinner. Bought the usual. NICE! And went to the arcade after that :] super long time since I went to Jubilee's arcade, since I was like studying for exams :]

And Elie might join my tuition! Yayness :]

Went home at around 10plus. When I got home I was all tired, and the moment I ploofed on my bed my parents came home. They saw the earrings I wore and the belt Elie lent me to go with the pants I wore out today and my dad was saying I've grown up. Like uhh, whatthe? LAMEEE.

Tired. The fan's blowing wind into my eyes.

Pics from the last day in 2INTEGRITY 2007 will be up soon :]

Will miss the guys. I wonder which class my fate would take me to.
Hopefully not 3D. I'd die taking POA.

5HRS AT THE COFFEESHOP.

Sian. I'm super tired. Haha. Went to the coffee shop across school with sailors- David, Ryan, Aaron and Ningxin. :] we only wanted to go there for dinner but we ended up chatting till like 11 plus?

Infact, I JUST got home.

We kept laughing while eating dinner, thanks to Ryan and all his bangla talk =.= like wth, me and Ningxin had a hard time eating cuz we were laughing so hard.

And I took out Ryan's phone batt, and when you put the batt back in you have to key in the PIN thing, and I purposely anyohow key in till it tio PUK! Then he had to call the Singtel people for the code to unlock his phone :D

Stayed there from 7plus till 11plus. David cabbed back so me and Aaron followed him since it was on the way :] Ningxin sat on the road leh! :D hahaha. She dared me to but then I saw a few cars so I was like eeyer cannot try sitting on the road. xD

Okay I just showed the options form to my parents.

Didn't really say anything, just passed it to my mom, told her I got the streaming stuffs back yadayada and went back to my room. No time for her to say much. Apparently, THEY DON'T KNOW A SHIT ABOUT STREAMING. Like, THERE ARE INSTRUCTIONS THERE FOR YOU TO READ?

And I think my dad wants me to accept my fate, go to 3D. Thinking I've done only bad enough to go there huh. Must be, he always looks down on me. Infact, all he wants to see are my results. He thinks I've done really badly, or, he's indirectly implying that. Cuz all he asked for was my report book and that he wants to wait and see my results.

So yeah. He looks down on me. ITS OKAY DAD. There's still the brother. Place all your hopes on him then. He'll do MUCH better than me.

Anyway, I kinda expected this from my parents. Especially my dad, since he's always the one who thinks and complains I've not been studying. So whatever, I don't care. I don't talk to my parents anyway.

Hmmm today's training rocked! :D The wind was outrageously good today, but I doubt it was as strong as Tuesday's D: bummer. But I didn't sail on Tuesday so I don't know.

My positions for the practice races were- 7, 5, 6. :DD -BIG GRINS- okay the last one we sailed to Bedok buoy and then back to shore so I counted from there. Drey you PRO KIA! Sail so fast. Even Aunty Yvonne complimented you, saying the sailing to Bedok one you didn't have a good start but still WON ALL OF US :D gogo Drey! xoxo.

First time I complained about being tired hiking out during strong wind. Man, my stamina must have really dropped for me to complain DURING STRONG WIND.

Hello? I ADORE strong winds :D cuz I am "heavy enough to handle it" -Quin.

While heading back to shore, it was all the way from Bedok buoy leh. So we sailed downwind the whole way back. I heeled my boat a lil' too much and when I tried to flatten my boat, BAM! My left knee hit the front part of the boat, the black thing near the traveller.

D: I was like wtf! Reaching shore then I have to injure myself. Why not injure myself during the start of today's training? Then I won't seem so suay.

So the whole time I was unrigging I was baika. :]

And oh, a lot of people didn't come for training today. ALL BAIKA! :] Ningxin said its a trend for us sailors now to become baikas and to lose our stuffs. Lets see- Justin, Peckkhee, Agnes, Linjie, Jack, Darren and (I'm not sure if Mrs Sidhu counted her) Yuxuan didn't come.

Justin, Peckkhee, Linjie and Jack ALL BAIKA. Or at least we know, Linjie and Jack fake baika. :] but when Mrs Sidhu asked why they never come we all jokingly replied they baika :D

And oh! When going back to shore I was really near Weiming. Audrey and Cheeteng were 1st and 2nd. Cheeteng lost to Drey xD he was whatthehell-ing a lot while unrigging hahaha.

And oh, cuz I was near to Weiming I could see what he did to Ryan. Ryan asked him for water but he already finished drinking it I think. So he was like, "Ei Gwen, Gwen! Looklook, see what I do to the Ryan ah." then I was all confused. Then he said "He wants water right? I GIVE HIM water -evil grin-"

Then he filled up the bottle with seawater, called Ryan to come closer to his boat. Me and Nic were trying hard not to laugh la. Then I watched as Ryan opened the bottle, drank a bit, then he shouted "Oei! Weiming! This is SEAWATER RIGHT?! EI WALAO!" but he didn't drink it la. HAHA. Weiming said he saw Ryan sip a bit, then spat it out xD

Got back to shore and Justin Ong helped me take trolley! :D hahaha for once, the kind junior helped me :] haha. Then I told him why the trolley no air! So he go help me take another one and was complaining why all of us worry so much about the air in the wheels of the trolley. LOL. Then he was like "Hey I'm helping you over here lor.. never thank me still ask me what ah, go change trolley. D:" xD hahaha. I did thank him la. I'm a nice senior :]

Almost forgot to take my hat la! And I left it on another boat that was not put on the rack leh. Heng I remembered! If not it would've been gone D: so Ningxin said its a trend to lose things.

Shall do my usual blog spam. I'm really tired now and cried till my eyes are puffy but I don't really care.

Talking to Kerrie on MSN. Thanks babe, for comforting me and giving me suggestions. ♥
The best and still the best after these two long years, thanks for being there for me love!

I keep thinking again and again about what has happened recently three days back. Thinking of it makes me pissed off but I can't help it. I guess, if things are like that, I'll just leave it be. Its meant to be, maybe(?). How I feel would never change, tho.

Thinking back, maybe I am just stupid. Pure stupidity. Of Gwendolyn Neo Yuan Qi.

I have training tomorrow, and therefore pangsehing my lovables! D: Supposed to go to Lower Pierce Reservoir with AGEK but I last min decided not to go cuz I don't want to pon sailing, even tho many of us wanna.

During open house, I kept thinking. What if I had joined the other CCA that I wanted to join besides sailing? Modern dance o.o Yokeching asked me if I had joined modern dance instead of sailing, "Would you be one of them?"

Oh well. I'm happy with my current lessons now so yeah. Jiaqi forced me to dance today! So paiseh. At the "bowling alley" during open house. Haha. The dance seniors were in the dance studio dancing so I refused, but Jiaqi wanted to see my dance moves real badly so she dragged me outside to dance. AH SO PAISEH.

Jiaqi and Sera, I LOVE YOU! :]

And I love you too.
I shall leave this all behind me. For now.

Is it hard understanding.

When I say parents don't understand a shit about their kids, I mean it.

Its like, my dad just nagged a whole storybook full of crap to me about my attitude towards my family. Like wtf, STOP THE FUCKING NAGGING ALREADY. EVERYTIME you only know how to scold me and nag at me. WHAT ABOUT THE BROTHER?

"Easily said than done"- many people know this phrase. But how many actually really applies it to situations in life?

My parents tell me about studying and results as if its so easy to achieve. I'm not the studious sort and I know that. The standards in the past could have been a hell lot freggin easier than mine. So yeah, DON'T COMPARE.

He told me to find him or my mom when I have problems.

AND HOW THE HELL DO YOU WANT ME TO DO THAT? YEAH I'VE GOT A MILLION AND ONE PROBLEMS. TALKING TO YOU WON'T SOLVE IT, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU TRY TO FORCE OUT WHAT PROBLEMS I HAVE, THEN SCOLD ME WHEN I START TO CRY OVER IT. HOW OFTEN HAVE YOU ACTUALLY UNDERSTOOD ME? WHEN I PUSHED MYSELF TO STUDY, YOU ONLY KNOW HOW TO SAY I'M NOT STUDYING ENOUGH. YOU TELL ME THAT IF I TRIED MY BEST ITS ALRIGHT. BUT WHEN I SHOW YOU THE RESULTS AND SAY I'VE TRIED MY BEST, WHEN HAVE YOU ACTUALLY UDNERSTOOD ME AND UNDERSTAND HOW STRESSED UP I AM?

YOU THINK TOO OLD. YOUR GENERATION IS YOUR GENERATION. I HAVE PROBLEMS, AND THE PROBLEMS START WITH YOU. EVEN TALKING TO MY AUNT IS BETTER THAN TALKING TO YOU. WHY? CUZ THEY UNDERSTAND, THEY KNOW HOW TO COMFORT ME, THEY KNOW HOW TO REPLY WHAT I SAY. BUT YOU DON'T.

ALL YOU KNOW HOW TO DO IS COMPARE AND COMPARE. ITS ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THAT SINCE YOUNG. I'VE ALWAYS BEEN COMPARED TO MY COUSINS, and you tell me, how am I supposed to be like them?

Everything's been about the brother. EVERYTHING. Just because he plays badminton well, he shares the same passion as you two, he's just like you two. I'm different, I love sailing and dance, and what, IS THAT A FUCKING DISGRACE TO YOU?

You've never supported me in sailing or dance. I'm always limited to what I can do. I feel lousy about my sailing skills, and when I tell you how badly I've done for competitions, you add salt to the wound. You only know how to go, "Huh? Do so badly AGAIN? Aiyah you might as well quit sailing la. Always like that." you're ALWAYS telling me to quit sailing.

When I want to tell you my results, the brother starts to sing and I tell him not to sing cuz I'm really nervous and don't know where to start about the results, then you scold me and tell me not to treat my brother like this, that I'm not flexible enough.

I've got so many problems. I'm really tired. I really, really wanna give up. Wanderer: I may be a fighter to you, but I'm a tired one. A really, really tired one.

And letting out big sighs never did help me.

But thats all I'm doing for now.

Someone tell me the number of times I've kept my problems to myself instead of telling my parents- countless.

PRISCHOOL KIDS.

TIRED.

From the open house. Its like, the kiddos were OVERWHELMING. Its like, THEY KILLED ME- literally.

Went to ATS with Sarah, Adora, Donald, Jiamin, and dunno two other sec3 guys. LOL. Me and Adora were the only sec2s in the group and the sec3s were all talking about their batch's students in ATS at the time. So I was like, "Oh ADORA, those people behind us talking about their batch la. We SO LEFT OUT. Nevermind, WE TALK ABOUT OUR BATCH! -randomly lists a name-"

We walked there okay. Then Sarah and Jiamin they all damn slow. Me, Adora, Donald and this guy who's name starts with J were walking damn fast.

Got the *ahem* lousier classes for open house D: ATS really think so lowly of us izzit? Hello, I bet Mayflower's standards are better than ATS, thanks to Mr Ng. Bleah. We got like, 6G, 6H, 6J, 6K and I think 6K1. All the worse few classes, and EM3 classes. D:

Mr Tan was the form teacher of 6G! :D then I was like, "MR TAN MR TAN! You remember me?" and he was all "Yeah I taught you in pri4." then I asked "Whats my name?" then he "o.o nono don't ask me for names! I know I teach you before can already! Remember your face can already!" lol.

Saw Mr Low, and me and Donald went to say hi. I ran to Mr Low when he was buying food la. Haha. He was like "O.O Gwen! Oh hihi! What are you doing here?" then when he shook hands with Donald then he told me Donald was from AVA. Like o.o NOT EXPECTED!

Sarah and I kept looking for our bros. But nah we left just as it was the pri4 recess D:

I had to say the bus guide's speech thing on the bus and I didn't bother asking for the mic and Mr Tan kept asking me to move to the center of the bus lol. Then dunno why but the kids liked laughing at what I said cuz I made it sound funny. Then Shermaine was in my group!

But sadly, cuz she knew me, she thought she didn't really have to listen to my instructions when we gave them the tour. And ya, that killed me.

WHEN MY GROUP MEMBERS TOLD ME IN MY FACE THAT SAILING SUCKED WHEN I TOLD THEM 4857329142 TIMES THAT I WAS FROM SAILING, I was like damn pissed off.

And oh, CHUN HONG and SHITING were my group's other mentors :D Chun Hong and I were like damn tired when we reached the music room la. He had his head on the table and I was squatting on the floor like wanna sleep.

I decided to buy that pants that the dancers had. The 36bucks one? Cuz I really can't find any nice ones D: and the one they had are the EXACT ones I want, except the one I want is like brown. Except for I'll tie up the string till my knee length there.

Wanling told me to find online. o.o lazy to haha.

And oh, Sera got bullied by someone. Wtf. She cried and cried in the dance studio cuz she was so scared la. On Friday I shall ask how it went. Hopefully she's fine. D: It pains me a lot to see her crying so much just cuz she's afraid la ) :

Was talking with the sec2 dancers in the dance studio and they were busy cursing the bully. LOL. When Jiaqi and Sera and Nicolette hugged me Shermaine Chia thought it was weird. She was all "Err, your friend just hugged you?". =.=''' PRISCHOOL KIDS.

Still haven't told my parents.

Shall let them do the finding out then. Hah. And Edward thinks I'm doubly depressed, still. D: I'M NOT SOME DEPRESSED SOUL, DUDE!


But heck, who really cares? Two can play this game baby.

Fine, if you want it that way.

Sadly, two can play this game-

And I don't mind joining in.

I'm just doing my blog spam thang again.

Tomorrow there's open house, and I'm MENTORING some young lil' ATS kiddos who're gonna join Mayflower sec cuz I'm so gonna be the nicest/best/most bhb/jfhsauhfsdh mentor they'll have ever seen!

And I wanna get 6C- Ranice, Weisze and Nicole's class! Yupppp.

Really tired. Haven't showered. Just ate finish my DARS Chocolate and its like 11.28pm. Okay thats like really fattening.

My eyes still feel sore, and tomorrow I'm gonna have a hard time moving about cuz my muscles are aching like they've never did before. Which kinda sucks cuz I've got lots of walking to do tomorrow. :/ hmm.

Can't even sit down on any surface today without going "Owwwch." and wincing a bit. My butt muscles thingy hurts. Haha. Even my right shoulder and both leg muscles hurt. A lot.

Oh well. Looking forward to tomorrow.
Shall leave my parents to do the finding-out themselves.

They always do, anyway.

Cuz no one would.

Ya, who was I to think that they'd understand?

I don't intend to tell them now. Not now. They'd never understand how upset I am over this, they'd just blame me for not doing well enough. Yeah, I'm a lousy daughter. So what. I'm not as smart as my many cousins who get top few percent in Singapore and get to go overseas to study.

I need someone besides my parents to talk to. Cuz they'd never understand.

Everything's about my brother. Nothing was ever about me. Yup.

But I guess I just have to keep going on. Cuz no matter what, I'm not gonna admit defeat.


When I need you the most.

Gwen,
You're such a stupid pig.

Can't even make it to 3E. Only can go 3D. Only got one option. Only can go to the class with the subjects you didn't want to take.

What a sucker.

Not saying 3D is bad. 3D is not bad a class. Its just I don't wanna go there.

Can't believe how much I cried today. Even missed sailing, just sat at the canteen at the sailing center while the wind was super strong and watching how some people were capsizing, wishing I was out there. ) :

Its like, while walking up the bus, I walked past Justin Ong and Edward. Then I heard Justin say "Ya, she's depressed alright." its that easy to see when I'm upset?

Cried till I got so tired that while reading Aaron's Chicken Soup for the Teenagers Soul II, I fell asleep with Quin beside me. Aaron also slept. My eyes hurt like shit.

After debreifing for open house day 1, they had an announcement for all sec 2EXP classes to go to the theatrette. Then when everyone was there they gave out the options.

I sat beside Bernice, and both of us were like damn nervous. Deyuan and Darren were sitting behind me. Almost tore the paper about the school's history that we needed to remember for the open house cuz I was so nervous. Then I broke down. Deyuan was like "Omg is she crying?" sorry Bernice and thanks for your shoulder and comforting me.

Then Bernice went "Omg her paper here le." Then she glanced at it and kinda reluctantly passed it to me. And I cried even louder and harder.

Cuz I only got Option A.

Which is to go to 3D. Which is the class I told myself I should never go cuz all the subjects I don't want are there. Which is one of the classes which a lot of people got for their option.

Which makes me wanna die.

Cried all the way till we reached NSC. From like 1.11pm to 2.30pm plus? Kept crying. Weiming, Ningxin and Peckkhee were busy telling me that what they state on the paper might not be what you get.

But who knows? I might get into 3D. Since its like, MY ONLY OPTION.

Told Mr Yeo I didn't have the mood to sail, and he was asking me if I thought of appealing and all. Then I cried a bit. After that Mr Lee asked me why I never change out then I told him why. Then he tried psyco-ing me to sail but I insisted I didn't want to. And I cried more D: so paiseh can.

Stayed on shore with Aaron and Quin. The 1E'06 sailors. Everyone was calling us emo cuz we just sat there crying, except Aaron la. Poor Quin! D: DON'T WORRY DARLING I'M ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU.

Peckkhee named us Emo One, Emo Two and Emo Three.

Now I don't know how to tell my parents. Sigh.

I should just gotohell.


Who doesn't long for someone to hold; who knows how to love you without being told.
I want to cry. I'm sorry.

Soulmate
>Natasha Bedingfield

Incompatible, it don't matter though
'cos someone's bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
You're not easy to find

Is it possible Mr. Loveable
Is already in my life?
Right in front of me
Or maybe you're in disguise

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There's enough for everyone
But I'm still waiting in line

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

If there's a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone

lovelaye SLs ;]

Keep spamming the song Show Me The Money, the one Maqrius picked to do choreography on the couple dance. Its addictive! :]

Went to school today. For dry runs of open house. Super sian, we took about one hour thirthy mins to get organised and such. Then that was only for day 1's stuffs la.

Didn't go thru day 2's dry run cuz there wasn't enough time :] and oh, I'M BUS GUIDE! :D

So I get to go to ATS to pick up the lil' kiddos. :D excited. Hahah! :] then after the whole thing, went to canteen with Yokeching, Sally and Jody while waiting for Derick. Then I went to check up on the sailing booth. Wth la the guys totally messed up the place. So me and Peckkhee decided to do it up again.

Spent a lot of time just outlining the words. And even tho Jody, Yokeching and Sally weren't from sailing, they still helped out :D thanks a lot guys. Would have taken longer if it wasn't for you three :]

Decided to continue tomorrow, when we've got more sailing stuffs to display.

And my whole body's aching from the dance lesson on Sunday! D: when I sat down on the floor to outline the words, my bum would hurt quite badly so I'd be like "Owwowwowwwwww! PAIN!" my right shoulder hurts too. Strained my muscles quite badly I guess. D: never do warm up!

Felt really tired after that. At first we thought Derick left already, but turns out Mr Kwek asked him to RETYPE OUT THE WHOLE SCRIPT. And Bernice pangseh-ed him cuz her mom came to fetch her, leaving Derick alone to type the script and go thru it with Mr Kwek till dunno what time.

Of course we waited, then Mr Kwek finally "released" Derick, and we went to eat at MOS Burger! :D all of us were starving cuz most of us didn't eat breakfast, and it was already 4pm?

Met up with Sylvia and Debbie, then we went to get my chocs and sweets at NTUC. But Sally decided to help me buy the sweets instead cuz its cheaper at her house. And we played with some of the HALLOWEEN stuffs there! :D cuteee! ;]

Then we went to I.P. Zone. I wanted to get the jacket! Was so tempted! But then hah, I resisted it. But now I regret, cuz Sally told me Mrs Sidhu told us to bring jackets tomorrow esp. for ushers cuz we'd spend most of our time in the theatrette! D:


But Derick was nice enough to agree to lend me his jacket tomorrow till he felt cold :D THANKYOU DERICK! :]

Then went to Converse, and looked, and they came to my place! Debbie went home first. We played audition and all, and Derick was again fasinated by how I can play audi o.o and kor made a new char! Met me in my room and he was like, "mei". I tio shocked la and for 5mins I couldn't figure out who he was.

They stayed over at my house till like 9.49pm! :D Sally might come and stay overnight at my place at Thursday, then we go to school together on Friday morning. Haha whacko idea but it sounds fun la. Didn't try going to school with a friend in the morning before :D

Dinner gang ;]

Played Heart Attack like siao! But it was damn fun la, all of us were going mad screaming :D haha.

They wanna come to my place again on Thursday since there's no school. Especially Derick, they're all saying my room damn comfortable o.o

Helped Sylvia train her audi char till it was going to do lvl 8 licence :D tomorrow shall tell Sylvia. GOGO SYLVIA DARLING YOU CAN DO IT! :D

I don't know why I'm spamming my blog now.

But yeah.
I'M STILL PISSED OFF.

You're just making everything seem worse now you know. And you won't even know how anyone feels cuz you won't care.

So why do I care?
Why SHOULD I care?

I'm effing tired, effing pissed off. And I wonder what the heck's wrong with me. Kuku. I'm just really tired. And after one whole week of effing lousy results you were only there to suan me.

I'M TIRED OF ALL THE SHIT AND NONSENSE IN THE WORLD.
Especially shit and nonsense about you.

I'm tired. I really am. I wanna give up.

I really want to.


I've never thought I was wrong. But you always make me think twice. You're the one making me tired and hurt. But oh wait,
YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT NOTHIN'.

You just pissed me off. And,
I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU.

Why are you ALWAYS there to create problems with me? Act blind act dumb act blur. ALWAYS. You don't take my words seriously ei?

THEN WHY DO I ALWAYS SAY SUCH SHIT TO YOU.

Gwen, wake up.
Your theory in the previous post is so darn right.

I HATE YOU TILL I'M ALWAYS SAYING THE EXACT OPPOSITE.

Couple dance o.o

Couple dance was not as fasinating as I thought it would have been.

Not as fasinating as Hyoyeon and Jaewon's couple dance. D: bummer, letdown!

I didn't have a dance partner. GUY dance partner. Maqrius was complaining I didn't dress up hiphop enough. True enough but hey I don't have all the time in the world for shopping!

It was damn tiring. Like, not dancing for a month or so sucked out all the stamina in me, and after dance we stayed back and ran thru the routine like 565489341 times (we'd go "Okay practice one last time ah!" and after that someone would be all "EI I DIDN'T CATCH THAT PART. Practice one LAST time can?" and the same cycle would repeat), I was literally dead.

The dance partner Maqrius brought today to dance with him was quite pretty with nice long orangey-blondish hair, black highlights. Damn nice. :D and skinny. She was like sunburnt.

And oh, Maqrius danced with me while Chenyang partnered Pris when we went thru it the last 3 times. First time was funny, it sent the dance partner Maqrius brought along laughing when we were done. Cuz when I got the steps wrong I couldn't catch up so I got all messed up. So Maqrius had to hold air instead of my arm =.='''

2nd time not too bad.. 3rd time my head wasn't positioned where it should've been. So it looked really weird. Hmm.

Danced to the starting of Show Me The Money by Petey Pablo, its from the Step Up soundtrack. If someone has the song please send it to me yeah. Maqrius wants us to each have a copy of the song next week to prove we have it and have been practicing. Wtf.

So yeah thats the song aites.

And oh, Cheyang kor was there today at the lesson as Pam's partner. Damn paiseh la. Maqrius seemed to like humilating me today. Wth la, always like that. As if he dislikes me or something.

Went for dinner at Village at The Heeren after dance :D damn nice can. But I didn't want Pam's aunt to pay so much so I only drank soup, shared ice cream with Pam. And uhh kor got me rootbeer to share. One small bottle could fill 3 cups! Pam's aunt got some Calamari (sp?) and kor was telling me not to eat so much of it or I'd become the sotong. =.='''

Went shopping. Like really shopping maybe. Just didn't buy anything. Hah. Pris kept going into those girl clothes shops and kor was all "Uhh I think I stand outside..." so me and Pam pei him :]

Saw some nice clothes at 77th Street, The Heeren's branch. Damn nice. But I guess its more for skinny people. I'm FAT. D: haha. And they had some awesome hats but when I tried on the box cap I wanted to get from Hub's 77th Street, I looked really weird in it. ) : so I'm not gonna get it. Sigh.

Went back to AMK feeling really sleepy. I.P. Zone didn't seem to have nice cargo pants or 3 quarts like the nice ones Maqrius's friend had D:

Went to Converse.. walked around lalala. Saw Cheeteng and his friends and I was like, Eh.. that guy looks like...."CHEETENG!".

CHEETENG YOU LOOKED WEIRD! Tucking your shirt in. You don't fit that look la I guess. LOL.

Then went home. Kor was talking to me on the way about how he earns 2bucks SGD when he sells ACash for 9mil mesos! o.o he might give me ACash! :D haha.

And oh, Quin stayed over in my house yesterday till today. :D But she didn't sleep at all till I took over the computer at like 10am. Then she fell asleep watching me play LOL.


Guys are jerks-

guys = jerks
guys = unsensitive jerks with no brains who are kuku and they don't know a single thing and they just talk nonsense


therefore,

guys = pure nonsense.

Emu emu Gwen.. >600th post

I'm bored. And shall be emu for the week or so. Sigh.

I don't wanna get my streaming results can. I won't wanna look at it. Feels so PSLE-ish. Like I'm gonna go to another school and take new subjects. Ahh sucks.

And next year more problems are gonna bombard me D:

Ah! See Cheeteng talk about getting grounded, I think I would get grounded by Mrs Sidhu. D: upsetting to think that I wouldn't be able to sail. And I think I'd zhong panel meeting, AGAIN. Last year's EOYs I got into panel meeting.

No doubt about this year.

Going out to eat dinner with Quin and her mom and my mom later. There's dance tomorrow, and I haven't found a dance partner for couple dance.

Why can't real life dancing just be like audi? Or why can't I just auto have a partner instead of having to find one? I'm already so vexed up about my results all I wanna do is stay home and rot playing maple.

I don't even feel like sailing sometimes, but sailing's what makes me happy. And the same goes for dance. But nah, I really feel like rotting now. Cheeteng, you're leading a good life by rotting, you know?


How long ago has it been..?

Maple, maple, maple.

Okay now I'll blog about today (Friday).

Had E-learning, so all the sec1s and 2s stayed home. The sec4s and 5s have already finished school, so the only level in school today was the sec3s.

How cool is that la. You have practically the whole school to your level only :D

Woke up and told my maid "Today I have school leh! Why never wake me up?" and she fell for it. Hahah.

Watched my bro play the lvl 80 Hermit in Aquila that Yeowloong hacked. Or, got. From a friend(?). Then I took over. I've changed my mind, Imma be a hermit instead of a bandit-sin! :] herMITS (I kept typing hermints) are fun.

Played maple the whole day since I accessed the e-learning thing the previous day at 1am plus when Kerrie told me Mrs Ess already uploaded it. Ours had to be presented in class during the next thinking skills period.

So yeah I literally played maple the whole day, butt getting numb :]

Played my thief in Bootes. Then later I played with Justin and Cheeteng. Ahh Cheeteng you pro la! 2nd job adv already. Grats! :D jyjy to me and Justin I guess =.=''' hahaha. And I'm the slowest among the 3 of us can! D: hahah.

Silly Justin, PQ also he can watch soccer. Leader somemore. Grr. Missed the PQ slot cuz of you la hor xD haha. Joking la. But ya, cuz of that I didn't do PQ. Heh. Then went on to completing more quests after training at land of wild boar with them.

Haven't been touching audi in a 3243243241124 days! LOL.

Now level 26 in maple! Jyjy Gwen lol. Must catch up with the other two, who, apparently play maple MORE than me. :S

THANK YOU CHEETENG FOR THE THROWING STARS THAT I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO GET. Haha. Nice senior o.o

Can't wait for open house. Mrs Sidhu said that since I was usher, I would most probably have time to go help out the sailing booths at the CCA booths :D so excited.

IF I do end up taking Aitong, I MUST TAKE CLASS 6C (Ranice, Weisze and Nicole's class :D) and then pull them to sailing. Already talked a lot about sailing to Ranice in the past :D

Thursday sucked, truely

Haven't blogged for like a day or two.

Hmm. I don't know where to start. Except that this week is extremely shitty. And you're not making it any better.

I'm like gonna go kuku papaya.

My results are shit, I don't feel like I'm doing too well in sailing, I've got problems cuz of my cca friend, and another two problems I don't wanna state.

Sigh. Got B3 for geog. And like my lit results, I needed one more mark to get an A2. And I kept flipping thru to find questions I can fight for marks for until I was so pekchek.

And Mrs David made me cry. :] she got really scared when I cried. Its like cuz I kept going to her to fight for my one mark, till when I called her again she pointed at me, used her sarcastic-smile-face, and told me "Gwendolyn, if you come to me one, more, time to ask for marks, I will minus off 10marks off your paper."

I was already damn pekchek and was literally desporate for that mark and everytime I went to her she refused to give me a mark and would find some excuse. So after hearing the "joke" she cracked, I went back to my seat to cry.

She saw la, as in, I think she saw my face getting all scrunched up and she went "Oh Gwendolyn! I was just joking. Can't you take a joke? Come here come here, let me see what your question is."

But I just ignored her and went back to my seat. Everyone in class was looking at me la. Alicia was like giving me the "What happened?" face. Then I sat down and broke down.

Thanks, to those that comforted me. Much loves.

I guess I'm just really stressed about my results cuz I really studied hard (except for Science). And Joey, Shanai, Eileen, thanks for your tissue paper. And Joey, LOL to your "proposal" to me. Funny la, Joey proposed to me using the tissue paper as the "ring". :]

Mrs David got scared and came to my place to ask me about the question I wanted to ask. She was all "Can I offer you some more tissues? Or have your friends offered you enough?" then, "Aww you POOR POOR THING!" when I told her why I needed the mark and "I was just making a joke, can't you take a joke?". But when she said "you poor poor thing", she sounded DAMN sarcastic.

Anyways. So yeah. I emo-ed for the rest of the time TILL sailing. I guess everything in and about sailing cheered me up.

Its no wonder I love sailing.

Its like everyone asked me why I was emo-ing, or depressed. Even my juniors. I guess I must have been really sad. Sigh. Oh well.

And a bit of the front part of my boat's bow is chipping off. I think its a bit old? According to Mrs Sidhu, cuz I kinda said the fibre glass inside was brown. But its also cuz Linjie banged into my boat while I was tacking. Its a small chip only la. But I should get it fixed before water gets in.

Worse still, he didn't apologise. I don't like it when people bang my boat AND DON'T APOLOGISE. Got back to shore and scolded him. Quin said out at sea she could hear me screaming at Linjie although she was damn far away from me. So yeah, don't you DARE bang my baby while sailing or you'd get it.

I was already feeling bad enough about my results and he just made it worse. David scolded Linjie when he refused to apologise and kept saying it was my fault. Then he was like "OKAY LA. Sorry la!"

Wtf. No sincerity. Then David and Ryan scolded him somemore xD

I got so pissed off and upset over the results and the chipping of the front of my boat that I just looked up and kept screaming and screaming and screaming. Heng that during this training session not many people came. 2 guys were BAIKA-ED! Peckkhee MIA-ed.

So yeah. I just kept screaming. I couldn't tahan already. I feel so freaking stressed out. Aunty Yvonne was there la :X sorry.. but yeah. David asked me to kick Ryan's hiking pants, so Ryan put it on his legs and told me "woi don't kick so hard hor!" and I just kicked it. And started laughing cuz Ryan was like damn funny. Thanks guys.

My dad's car was fixed and I didn't know. Haha. My mom and bro jogged around my school and were waiting for me after sailing. And I didn't know. LOL. She was talking to Quin's mom.

And Quin was eating in the van again. Was hungry so she gave me a mouthful of her rice :] thanks quinneh <3

AND PLEASEPLEASE LET YOUR FEVER GO DOWN TOMORROW YEAH? Feel better love!

Stupid, STUPID GWEN.

Didn't feel like blogging today. Haha. Got super wiped out from today's beep test.

Got 6-2. Same as Ningxin. I saw her drop out then I dropped out too cuz we were running beside each other. And I was having sorethroat so my lungs and throat were literally burning.

Cheeteng and Justin got injured today. BAIKA-rians. Hahah :] so cheeteng just slack and sit down there while we did beep test xD oh well. Hope both your injuries heal guys :D

Aitong's coming to MFSS for open house :] but I'm only ushering, not taking ATS D: Darren and Jody are taking ATS! :D

I told Gengtao I diedie also MUST take ATS, especially class 6C! :D can see Ranice and Weisze and Nicole.

Got back Lit, English and Science today.

Cried after I got back English, screamed after I got back Lit. Whole class screamed at Mrs Supra when fighting for marks. Why?

I got 26/50 for English paper 2. Like, just passed. Didn't get back paper 1 yet.
I got 69/100 for Lit. 1 MORE FREGGIN MARK TO AN A2.
I got 40/100 for Science. And when the class was fighting for marks, Supra didn't really bother, EVEN THO WHATEVER WE'RE FIGHTING FOR IS STATED EXACTLY IN THE TEXTBOOK.

Guess what? I don't have an A yet. Yep. No A1s or A2s. Chiong my studies also no use.

I feel like a failure. I feel like I don't really belong to Mayflower. Like, study also I get such bad results. I already failed 2 subjects when I tried so hard. You have no sucky idea how suckish that feels. I should just drop to Normal Academic.

I DON'T HAVE TO GO TO 3E ANYMORE.
Cuz the only avaliable class for me will be 3D. Then I'll suck cuz I don't wanna take art tho I'm good in it.

Everyone's telling me that I passed for English, its already good enough. Cuz 25 people from 2D failed, 19 people from my class failed, 15 people from 2E failed, and 12 people from 2A failed.

And Suhailah bothered failing so many people from her own English class. Its like, with her around, MY ENGLISH NEVER SEEMS TO GET AN A. And she says she's already taught us this and that about not lifting etc. BUT SHE DIDN'T. So we were all complaining.

I had mood to eat recess today but talking to Atiqah and Chuxian before recess made me laugh.

And now David keeps suanning me about my results. Yeah, I can laugh. But I guess I'm crying inside cuz I already feel so upset. I guess when studying I didn't get anything when I thought I did.

PROVES HOW STUPID I AM HUH.

Oh well Gwen, this is you.

I hate people who suan me. Especially about my results. Yeah, you can carry on calling me stupid, cuz I am. Fail so many subjects. Even failed Math. Hurhur.

Joey and Cass, I know that you know I tried my best and that in class when everyone was talking when given free time to study I was doing Math for the whole period, and that I really chionged already and pushed myself.

But whats the use?
I STILL FAILED.

I heart sailing! LOL.

Okay fuckfuckfuck.

Sorry for the sudden outburst of vulgarities, but,
I HATE MATH.
Ooh, I'm like, soooooo temperamental. *bimbo sounding*

Just got back Math, Chinese and D&T papers today. Passed all but Math. Got 47/100 for the overall of Paper 1 and 2. I needed 1 mark to pass paper 1 and 5 marks to pass paper 2. Bummer!

During Math Mr Leong pretended that he came to the wrong class lol.

Got back the Math papers and when I realised I needed like 1 mark for paper 1 to pass and 5 for paper 2, I flipped thru Math Paper 1 tearing cuz I couldn't find anything for that measly one mark D:

Skipped eating during recess. Got too nervous for Lit results and upset about Math results.

Didn't get back lit paper today even tho there was literature period. Ms Goh came into class saying, "Okay class, today we're going to be having lessons.." and the whole class literally went "What the fuck? LESSONS?!" (I mean literally okay) and she went real silent and all stern looking for a moment, and then she went:

"HAHA! I was only joking class. We're not gonna have lessons today!! :D"

She was laughing quite hard. I guess the whole class fell for it xD it was nice to see us laughing during Ms Goh's period. She's a really nice teacher actually :] She didn't give back our papers cuz I think not all has been marked, but she said if she remembered right, all the people in 2I passed.

WTH? SO I GOT SO NERVOUS AND UPSET TILL I SKIPPED EATING DURING RECESS, ONLY TO HEAR THAT WE WON'T GET BACK OUR PAPERS YET?! D:

Alicia poooo taught us how to play Bridge during Lit period :] quite fun but a bit sian haha. Wanted to go back to playing teiti instead xD

Chinese sucked. Got back papers also. Did badly for paper 2, the main. My compos and letter writing were not too bad. Got 48.6 somethingsomething when I calculated! D: BUMMER. Why everything also fail by a bit ah?

But with my oral marks I passed overall for Chinese. 32/40 marks saved me xD

Went for assembly. The hall felt empty for once cuz the sec3s were still in class as the assembly talk was about the E-Learning day on Friday. Sec4s and 5s weren't in school as their last day of school was like, last week?

So yeah. There were only a few sailors sitting at the back of the hall. Almost thought the sec3s won't be coming. Would've been really sad if that was true! ) :

The only girls sitting at the back were me and Agnes. I almost thought Belle and Quin weren't coming cuz Drey wasn't, she had a dental appointment. But turns out there wasn't an avaliable slot, so she couldn't go :] she came to slack at NSC instead with Darren xD

SAILING ROCKS.
Uhhuh, uhhuh.

Finally sailed after so long! :] missed B12. IT WAS FREAKING DIRTY WHEN I TOOK OFF THE BOAT COVER. And the masts were a bit greenish at the ends. Made me really upset that my boat was so dirty D:

Rigged up and went to change. Got scolded by Mr Lee cuz me, Ningxin and Peckkhee were late for breifing. But it was true that we were in the toilet changing! D: dont believe us ei.

MY STOMACH FREGGIN HURT ON THE BUS ON THE WAY TO NSC.

Hurt so badly I cried la. Only, the tears didn't flow down. Only nice people who noticed were Aaron and Bryan and of course Quinneh babe cuz she was sitting beside me :]

Thanks Quin for your lovelaye shoulder that I leant on while I was having gastric xD LOVES MUCH.

Was thinking it was gastric, but couldn't be. I only skipped recess. I ate lunch before heading for NSC okay! D: depressing man. SIGH. My stomach's always giving me problems.

Therefore reminding me of you. LOL RANDOM.

After sailing it rained real heavily at NSC.

So heavily that we moved from the canteen tables to the floor near the office. Which is like, we could feel the rain water from the other end of the whole "auditorium/hall" place. Thats heavy! :] and oh we couldn't see Keta buoy. Tells you how heavy the rain is that we couldn't literally see ANYTHING beyond the red fence of NSC.

Dad couldn't pick me cuz his car had problems so he and mom were stuck cuz they were headed for the badminton place there.

The guys were singing in the bus again :] damn funny. Me and Quinneh darling kept staring at each other as Justin made crap jokes, then after staring we'd both break out in laughter together at the same time xD

Stupid la, the guys saw the councilors group photo and they said I ACTED CUTE. Wtf? Wanna see act cute? GO LOOK AT OTHER GIRLS LA SISSY WEENIES BEANIES! Hmph. Mubarak and Justin kept saying I act cute. AHHHH. But I couldn't hear so Justin told me AGAIN.

Jack was trying to solve the Rubik's Cube on the bus xD hahaha.

WITH THE ALGORITHMS THAT HE DREW FOR ME. Of course with the algorithms that HE understood but NOT ME, he managed to solve it twice.

The guys said if he couldn't solve it by the time we reached school, he would have to strip. LOL SIA. Then when we were around Bishan, Ryan or dunno who went "AIYAH SAD LA REACH SCHOOL LE!" when we were only at around Townsville Primary there xD then Jack kan chiong and went "NAHHHHH! FINISHED IT ALREADY LAAAAA!" only to realise they bluffed him xD

Reached school, did PT, and went off. Was raining. Waited with Ningxin for her dad, then cuz he was stuck in Farrer Road, I cabbed home with her. Mr Lee scolded her for being a Prncess-wannabe xD hahah.

Took a MERCEDES TAXI home worshxs! xD uber richness.

She still treat me the ride home leh. Wanted to pay but she kept saying nevermind! I feel guilty can D: My bag leaked and when I went "oh shit my bag leaking" the driver looked at me. Whoops. LOL.

No worries la Mercedes taxi driver, the water ONLY WET MY PE SHORTS =.='''

And my throat still hurts. At least now my voice's okay. This morning my voice made Yokeching, Syafiqah and Derick laugh D: eeyerrrr! HURHUR. I really did sound like a frog I guess, and I keep zhao-xia-ing! xD


Haha Justin, just CHONG hor. xD joke of the day <3

And oh.

THERE'S SAILING TOMORROW!

I'm going hyper thinking about it. Just hope it doesn't rain or Mrs Sidhu would make us run again, WHICH I HATE. I've seen enough land, now, I want the sea.

PCBUNK! :D

Went out with Drey, Jody and Quin today :]

Met them at Plaza Singapura's Starbucks at about 2plus. Was meant to meet Drey at AMK MRT Station at 1pm! And yet I didn't make it on time, cuz it rained super heavily and I was stuck under a block for dunno how long cuz my umbrella couldn't take the wind blowing.

Then when I decided to just go, I walked under the shelter near AMK Hub there, then this guy asked me if he could shelter me across to the escalator to AMK Hub first, then come back and fetch his friend over. I'm nice la, so I said okay.

And FUCK. He was smoking.

Its like bloody smelly, and when he was sheltering me, it was more like he was sheltering HIMSELF. I got totally drenched on the left side of my body. MY CRUMPLER GOT BLOODY WET TOO! But okay la it was already wet.

When I got to AMK Hub, it was freezing. But I had to go to the MRT from AMK Hub, unless I wanted to get more drenched.

Then, the escalator at hub didn't work, SUAY. My feet were feeling like raisins, all wrinkled and shit. Got to the MRT station's platform and realised the rain got lighter. I was busy cursing inside of me.

Got to Dhoby Ghaut mrt and called Drey. Went to meet them at Starbucks. Got tempted by Jody's Chocolate Chip Creme or something and decided to buy it too :D $6.10.... AHHHH! I had 60bucks leh.

Then kor smsed me telling me he will come and find me. Then I totally didn't notice this guy was him, and suddenly someone tapped my shoulder and went "Mei!" and I tio shocked. So much for me wanting to go down to bunk to scare kor =.='''

We then went down to bunk. Bloody cold. My toes were still puny raisins. Watched a few people play. Went to the arcade beside it to throw away my drink cup and saw Yining, Ethel and Jasmine. Jasmine was bloody tall. Forgot to ask her if she knew Chuwen. Hmm.

Then Drey and the other 2 pangsehed me while I was going into the arcade, and they went to Carrefour to get Drey's FBTs. GAH YOU THREE okay!

Took a bloody long time for them to come back. And it felt so gan kor with only me and kor around. Its like we didn't know what to talk about so we went around watching people play. And watching this guy try passing his lvl 25 license to be a lvl 26 BACK UP! :] he already tried like more than 4 times, all fail.

When Drey came back the guy passed his license. LOL. Like, after trying about 10 times. No joke. And you should know how ex a lvl 26 license can cost you. Went to watch Quin's cousin play at her com, then kor got a comp so we went to kachiao him and he let me play beatup. Then noticed that there were a lot of empty comps so we went to write our names and wait for the person to call my hp.

Got 2 comps, at the sofa area. Coms 19 and 20! :D near where kor's com was. We were bloody noisy la, kept screaming "WTH LA DREY!" etc here and there xD

Drey won me in the first beatup game we played since I wasn't used to the keyboard, and we were busy shouting at each other since she was just sitting infront of me, seperated by a metal wall thing with loads of holes that was shorter than half my body so I just stood up and stared at Drey and we were busy play-arguing xD

And cuz I wasn't used to the keyboard being so squished, I couldn't play 140bpm DB4 properly and got damn angry. When I missed I would slam my hands on the arrow keys. Kor and Drey were telling me to "Chillllll!" Kor was like, "Mei! Cool down. Later I buy cold water for you okay?" I was like buy lor.. then he said "see if later I got cash annot"

Drey lagged out when we were playing the 2nd last round. HAHA. Then left me, kor and kor's real life sister who was using Pamela's acc. xD so he had 2 mei's there. o.o one real one la. Then suddenly he went "brb" and left me and his real mei playing.

Suddenly, a big bottle of ice water appeared infront of me on the table and I saw that kor REALLY went to buy water for me o.o then he went back to his com and typed to me in audi, "mei, drink it la" I was like o.o omg. KOR'S SO NICE LAAAA! :D

Played for an hour plus till the cost was $5.30 and I split the cost with Jody tho she played more xD haha. Quin was sharing with Drey.

Crapped a lot outside Bunk before we left, about school stuff. Then went to the mrt station cuz we decided to have dinner at hub. Sorry kor, the whole mrt ride to AMK you were kinda pangsehed.. :S

Took loads of photos before we left. Kor took bus home while we went to New York to eat. Then the queue at New York was long so Drey decided we eat at Fish & Co. The queue wasn't long for once, and we got seats quickly. Then Cheeteng came :] so, you're not rotting anymore ei! Hurhur! :D

Me and Drey ate New York fish and chips. Halfway, her braces thing snapped I think. So she gave her share to Quin, who uhh, only had 1 buck. o.o so she didn't buy anything.

Finished eating and asked for the bill. Realised this girl who seemed half my age was better at calling a waitress than we were =.=''' she stood on her chair and shy-ly went "excuse me!" and raised her hands. SO CUTE!

And then I went home. Heh. They kept smacking my husband, aka Crumpler darling. D:


The fact that I met you, is a miracle. The fact everything happened, is more than that, and, "all good things come to an end".

A Thousand Miles

A Thousand Miles
>Vanessa Carlton

Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces pass
And I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way
Through the crowd

And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
Tonight

It's always times like these
When I think of you
And I wonder
If you ever
Think of me

'Cause everything's so wrong
And I don't belong
Living in your
Precious memories

'Cause I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
Tonight

And I, I
Don't want to let you know
I, I
Drown in your memory
I, I
Don't want to let this go
I, I
Don't....

Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces pass
And I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way
Through the crowd

And I still need you
And I still miss you
And now I wonder....

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass us by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you...

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
If I could
Just hold you
Tonight

This morning was really weird 'cuz when I woke up, my mom told me she and my dad forgot to wake me up for school.

So she was like "Eh Gwen, we all forgot to wake you up leh. You today need to go to school right? Need a letter or something for tomorrow?" and I was like "-groggily..gahh- Huh? Wake me up? For what? Mommy I don't have school today!" I thought she was really sarcastic la. Cuz she had the I'm-joking kinda voice. The kind she always uses when she's trying to fool me.

But nah she really thought I had school today xD so I was laughing my head off then going back to sleep :]

Going out with Drey and Jody later! :D going shopshop, then maybe popping by PCBunk to see my kor. I swear if he's playing Beatup, Imma scare the socks outta him!

I'VE GOT LIKE 60BUCKS IN MY WALLET.
Imma rich girl! :D

Just got my allowance from dad yesterday. He was hoping the week would be a holiday for secondary school kids so that he didn't need to give me my 35bucks xD too bad for him!

Tomorrow there's school.

AND TRAINING!

So excited. Been so long since I've sailed. I betcha my darling B12 has got all those sand/dust-like stuffs you'd see at the bottom of your boat if it's rained a lot and you've not used your boat for a long time.

Hope it doesn't rain tomorrow. At least gimme strong winds for warmup. If we get to NSC I'm gonna like wash my boat real good. Missed it like hell! :D

Then Wednesday's the BEEP TEST. Oh boy. My doomsday. 6-1 for 'B' div girls. And I'm considered a B girl already since the sec4s have stepped down.

And next year Ningxin and Peckkhee will be sec4s OMG. I'll miss them like hell okay! Already missing Tzuling, Siungee and Luos like hell la D:

Oh well.
Blog more later, WITH LOADSA PICS!


Ciaoooooos people!
xoxo.

François Civil!!! <3

Decided to post before sleeping. I think I need to edit the previous post cuz its so long! Let you guys read till you sleep xD

So yeah, had dinner, watched the closing ceremony of the Disney Channel Games 2007 AND SAW THIS SUPER CUTE GUY FROM THE RED TEAM CALLED François Civil! ♥

You have no idea okay, how cute he is with his super big hair :D so cute! XD to the left, to the left :]

Played beatup with kor Winter, then my com hanged! My char was doing this flying kiss move when the whole com hanged o.o and so did the song. Then Quinneh joined in once I logged back on. Jody then came online also! :D crapped hell lots la we.

And we found a new 4 letter word starting with F to replace fck:
"FATE YOUUUU. MOTHERFATER!" o.o

Going out with Drey and maybe Quin tomorrow :D hope we can pass by PCBunk, cuz kor's gonna be there. Told him I'd scare him if I go there. He's gonna spend the whole day there la! Rich la you kor xD

STILL CAN'T BELIEVE PAMELA ASKED WINTER KOR TO BE HER DANCE PARTNER FOR THE COUPLE DANCE CRAP D: now I might be the only one without a partnet? ) :

Requsted by Elie :] there're 4 more but they're like all the same, rather not post it.

Why do I miss you so much? I wanna stop the hurt inside. Oh baby please.

Much loves!
xoxo.

Boring two days. Haha.

Bahhhh! :D went out with Jody and Celine yesterday :]

I slept at around 4am the previous night, and woke up at 8.35am. Hah. Then played com. Audi-ed the whole day.

My dad wanted me to go to da yi's mother-in-law's place for lunch and to visit, since it was Hari Raya. But then I didn't wanna, and I was going to Celine's mom's shop later :] so I was left HOME ALONE for the day till about 2plus. Dad left one set of house keys with me. First time!

Went to Celine's mom's shop, which is near where I attend church service and near my dance lessons place. Been there a few times in the past la.

My hair then got quite messed up after Celine came, heng I brought wax. Took damn long to comb my hair down la D: haha. And took a while to style my hair. First time I styled the top. Usually I just spike the back a bit and tada! its done.

Jody already reached Bugis at like god knows what time! D:

I KINDA PANGSEHED HER! Sorry DiDi love! :] her smses couldn't reach me cuz where I was had no reception I think. Then when I smsed her from there, 4 of her smses came to me in one shot! o.o

So me and Celine went to Somerset MRT and took train down to Bugis. Missed the first train cuz too many people. Then the second one we hopped aboard.

I GOT REALLY PISSED OFF WITH THIS WOMAN.

She got on at Dobhy Gaught I think, then its like the train was quite crowded, but she still squeezed in. AND PUSHED ME SO MANY TIMES. STILL CAN STARE AT ME WITH THE "Wtf fuck off la all you people in this train cabin!" LOOK.

When we reached City Hall, the door was opening the opposite side of where we were standing. I was busy cursing off to Celine about the woman cuz she kept on pushing me. And SHE WAS SO STUPID.

I mean, if the train slows down it means its reaching the stop already right? And cuz there's two doors, if it doesn't open THIS side, it'd open at the OTHER side right?

She was so bloody stupid, she kept pushing me a bit more so that she got nearer to the door. Then when the train was slowing down into City Hall station, she kept looking out at the door, obviously wondering why we weren't at the station and why everything was pitch black. Apparently we were already at City Hall station, and the doors were just going to open.

Then she pushed people infront of her a bit more to inch her way nearer to the door with the kid. The doors already opened at the other side and people were flooding out and she was still stupidly standing there, staring out at the door wondering why its not open, and blocking me and Celine's way out.

AN ANG MO WOMAN HAD TO COME AND TELL HER "Err, I think its the other side.. -smiles and heads off to the other side of the cabin to alight-" TO MAKE HER GO "Oh!" AND TURN AROUND TO ALIGHT. Wtf.

How often do you take the train ah? Use common sense, please.

Alighted and went to wait for the train to Bugis. Busy cursing on the way. Missed one train already. Boarded the next one and went to meet Jody at Bugis MRT station. She was standing at the part of the whole walkway area that was like, curved inside, opposite the bank. So I was like "Jody Limmm? Oh no where's Jod! o.o" turned around and was like oh you're there la!

Bought bubble tea and walked to Bugis Street. Bloody crowded. D:

Parco Bugis was already damn crowded so don't need to say much about Bugis Street la hor.

Didn't buy anything, and it was so crowded. Decided to go AMK and shop. =.=''' less crowded, more space and more oxygen to breathe in there. Keke.

Spent the whole night there but didn't buy anything. Neither did Celine. Jody bought this dress thing that costed 39.90 from COSMOS or whatever I think. I saw a lovely box cap at 77th Street but decided it wasn't as important as clothing so went off.

Went to This Fashion with them. All the 3quart jeans there were damn long la! So didn't get anything there, too girly for me. :]

Went back to AMK hub. Then Celine had to leave and meet her mom to go her aunt's place cuz her mom last min called her, when she already agreed to go with me and Jody to New York for dinner D: PSK. Always liddat.

She wanted to go there also CUZ HER COUSIN'S DOG WAS THERE. I was like wtf pangseh us for a dog when you can see it all the time? -pissed off-

Went to eat at NEW YORK with Jody at about 8.30pm. Queued for a while and got really hungry cuz of the menus and stuffs. I didn't eat lunch.

Got a seat and we decided to order pasta. I bought the same thing the last time I came, and Jody ordered the same thing Quin's mom ordered when I came with them and my mom.

I ate halfway and was full D: it was white sauce can! Damn filling la D: and I still had this chocolate drink that I was going to have to finish or I'd waste $6.40 :]

The stupid kuku bombom guy who kept jokingly insisting that the drink he gave me was right was behind Jod. Can still tell me "The drink's on the way. But it took you quite long to realise hor. -laughs and walks off-" NOT I TOOK LONG OKAY. I JUST DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU THAT IT WAS WRONG. JIN PAISEI OKAY.

Jody was the culprit of this! xD

Happy tackling the chicken I gave you Jody o.o

When we finished I was so damn full I wanted to puke. As in, literally. Walked around a while and Jody had to go home cuz it was late and she got worried. She wanted to wait with me for a while cuz she said I really didn't look well.

My stomach hurt la D: I think cuz I suddenly ate so much for dinner when I didn't eat anything for lunch, so it hurt.

Walked home. Almost puked on the way la. Kept coughing and could feel the vomit thing coming up my throat D: eeeeew. Tried not to puke as I was at the traffic light. A lot of people! Sat downstairs the green block cuz I couldn't stand it anymore. Waited a while then decided to go home quickly.

Got home and died. Turned on the com and died while waiting cuz I was really feeling like shit already. Then went to sleep when the com just signed on into MSN Messenger. Really cannot tahan le, rather sleep than die of wanting to puke.


Today!
I woke up and played audi in the morning, again. :] Quin was already online. It was about 9plus bah. Hahah.

Then we played together for a while and went to play NPC Battle Party with Jody. Played and earnt and lost. Earned more la :D haha. Like for 2 or 3 rounds won about 10k dens+ each :D

Bern came online. So did Belle. Played Battle Party with Bern, Quin, Jod for a while more and went to play one two party. Losed like shit :D

--xDecember aka -RiP-Winter came online! :D he talked to me and asked me if I wanted to play Beat Up but I was playing with Quinneh and the rest of the Mayflowerians that I often play with. Then he came to find me! :D

HE WAS A BLOODY MAIN. A MAIN!!! LVL 32. And the last time I saw him he was a NOVICE OR CLUBBER, ABOUT LVL 15? And that was 2 months ago! o.o GASP. -Kills Winter-

Quin was talking about her getting married in Audi to Drey I think, then Winter told us he was getting married to his audi dar today! I was like, tio shocked dao. HAHA. Then he invited me to go watch his Wedding Party. Quin wanted to go so he let her lol.

Went to play o2Jam with this audi guy and Belle. Belle was like "GWENNNN WANNA O2? :D" then the guy was like "Can join you guys? :D" didn't know he also played o2jam.

Played 3 rounds with them, Belle MIA-ed after the 2nd round and she was losing, then the guy told me quickly go back to Audi cuz it was almost 2.15pm and WINTER'S WEDDING WAS AT 2.15PM! Lol.

Quin smsed me telling me hurry go free seven. LOL. Got there and went to the room. Waited a while and Winter decided to start! :D his dar was GoddlyNoobs or something liddat.

They failed the first round CUZ THEY LACKED ONE SYNCHED PERF! D: then they tried again and like what Quin said, it got much easier and they finished it in about 1min? :D Everyone was congratulating them la. :]

GRATS WINTER KOR ON YOUR WEDDING IN AUDITIONNNNNN!
Loves my kor :] ahah.

Camped in the room for quite a while with them and Quin after everyone left. Then Quin left audi. Played a while with kor and his dar couple mode, then left.

Slacked. Hur.

Now I'm uber bored. Hurhur..


Shall go audi! Feel like playing audi lol. See if kor online :D And I should use my x2 EXP and DEN cards bah. Keke. Got them from Kor's wedding by observing :]

TEHBING GANG LOVEEES.

Back from the Tehbing gang outing at like, 11pm! :D

TOMORROW I'M GOING SHOPPPPPPIN' WITH CELINE AND JODAYE! :] whooo!

Spent a lovely rainy day at Pasir Ris park. The beach.

Met them at around 1.20pm at the bus stop opposite Bishan Park. Again, I was the last one there lol. Derick was nice enough to wait for me at the bus stop! :D Thank you and sorry dude :] got off the bus, saw a mayflowerian o.o WHAT'S HE DOING IN SCHOOL? A sec 3 guy.

Wanling, Winteng, Derick, Nic and Maruay were there under the block, so we went to find Lianyi and Welly and Sally together. They went Sheng Siong buy something to eat for the day I guess.

Bought loads of potato chips! And fizzy drinks. Went back to school there to take a bus to Pasir Ris. Crapped a whole load on the bus. We had to make the full use of a councilor gathering when we're not in school uniform and tie okay! ;]

Talked about random stuffs like ghosts. Err, spooky. They wanna go to red house one day leh omg! As in, not go in la duh. THEY KEPT STICKING TO THAT TOPIC LA OMG I'M FREAKED OUT.

Got to Pasir Ris interchange and went to White Sands mall. We decided to eat there before going down to Pasir Ris Park! :D ate at the foodcourt upstairs.

Lianyi got some Korean maggienoodle looking thing, Welly also got some Korean food, Wanling went to More Than Words and got this Japanese chewy sweet and me and Derick got JAPANESE FOOD! :D

While talking, I don't know how the topic of guys masturbating came up. I think cuz we were talking about how Likiong said he walked past this room the councilor Aaron was in, and saw him masturbating. Oh wth!

Then Lianyi apparently became all curious. And then.. uhh. She was asking a lot of questions. HAHA. And apparently, we all died cuz she's so tian zhen, innocent! But she was like damn straightforward la, and the table we sat at was apparently not an all-girls table. Derick and Welly were at our table xD hahahahaha.

Went to take bus 403 to Pasir Ris park. Carried on with the topic of uhh. Ghosts.

Got there and found this table to sit at and chat. Carried on with the ghost story liang lao shi told the class one day during Chinese. Then we opened up the potato chips and drinks and started eating :]

Took loads of nice pics. Apparently Pasir Ris doesn't have nice views of the sunset D:

Played at the beach for a while. Winteng found 2 crabs! Small ones. One was quite big! Then Derick, Wanling and Sylvia came back from buying ice with bikes o.o there was no ice! D:

Lianyi the NU ZHU JIAO :D left at around 6pm D: awwman! Lianyiiiiiiii. ) : haha. She had to watch her sister perform some indian dance thing at Tampines library. Then we took some group shots with my camera balanced on the 1.5 litre drink bottle =.=''' hahahaha.

While some went to cycle and some sent Lianyi to the bus stop, me and Winteng sat at the BBQ table thing chatting about her problems. Aiyoh girl! Must be strong okay! :]

Then when they came back we moved to sit at the breakwater kinda wall and sat there talking, facing the sea. I missed my chance to scream. Told Drey before I wanted to come to the beach with her and scream.

There were people around la, so I didn't scream. Winteng screamed tho. Sigh. Talked about problems we have. Thanks Winteng for being around me, I really needed the company that time I guess :]

Sally returned and told me that Derick, Welly and Nic went to play at the spider web things there. Never ask me D: I loved playing at that part of Pasir Ris park when I was younger. Miss the place D:

They came back cuz it was gonna rain. Me and Wanling saw lightning! LOL. Like camera flash liddat o.o haha. Then we returned the bikes and took a bus back to the interchange. Made a lot of noise and went crazy and said bye to the bus driver. He was like, laughing at us la! LOL.

Winteng, Welly and Nic went home. Me, Wanling, Sylvia, Sally and Derick went to eat at Macs. :] haha. Gayyyyyy O.O

Went to the ARCADE at White Sands mall! :D played a few rounds of Drummania. MISSED THE GAME LIKE HELL. COULDN'T WAIT TO PLAY! ;] and then we played the DANCING GAME with the 4 arrows. At first I missed like shit but got it, and started playing quite well.

I think when I go back to the arcade at Jubilee I'll play the dance machine there :] provided its in good condish and theres no one there :D hahaha.

Played there till about 9.50pm and left to take bus 88 back home. Talked loads of crap on the bus again! The ride took like 45mins la. Walao killer. But it felt like a short time cuz we were making a lot of noise and chatting :D














Cuz you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away