Sighsighsigh!

I'm gonna mug into the early morning later.

Can't help but feel freggin' guilty that I didn't study for Science and Geog today.

I have more confidence in Science but for Geog I'm pretty much at a loss. Mrs Davids also didn't really teach my class much/well. I'm on my own..

Today its like, another hell boring day. Imma fail my Math D: I really give up on Math. I can't do anything. ANYTHING. Damn. Okay, I'm like super helpless in Math. It just won't go into my head.

Formula for volume I can actually remember. Till I see the paper, that is. Its like I'm so scared of Math I see the paper I'm all blank.

Fuck it. I just screwed up my Math common test. And I can't do anything about it. Hurhur. Gwen is self-humouring herself at a time like this.

The most I can get for this common test is 9/35. Yep. Thats how badly I done. Me and Eileen and Quin are on the same boat la.. not literally. Haha. I already can confirm I can get 2 marks. But how much can that help me?

And the other so-called "marks" I can get are most probably method marks. Most of the questions I attempted have no final answer. All halfway. I spend so much time on each question, but I just stare at the paper and tap my pen on the question trying to figure out what to do.

How much worse can I get?

I have confidence in Literature tho! :D even tho I last min then chionged the notes Ms Goh gave us. But I could remember most of the answers that she stated in the book we use for Lit for the poem in the exam. That helped a lot in my answers. But I wrote so much until the last question I only had 5mins left la D: so I chionged and only wrote about 3-4 lines for that question? Ugh...

Tomorrow is Science and Geog. DIEDIEDIE.

Sigh. I hate tests. But what to do?

Today's sailing, UGH. I just wanna bang my head on the wall till I literally bleed. Like really. I feel so fucked up about the fact that I'm not sailing as well as I used to. And I don't know why!

I suspect B12 has some unknown hairline cracks I cannot see or something. Or I think, well, its just me.

I love the boat like hell la. Everyone's like "Gwen?! Whats wrong with you? Its just a BOAT. You treat it until like its you ownself buy la... every little bit of dirt you clean until liddat."

Its still the same. I miss NSC14 a lot already D:

Everytime going upwind, I just seem to go slower and slower while everyone goes faster and faster. I keep a boat flat, I hike out properly most of the time, and my control lines etc are all okay. But why do I slow down? During the most recent regatta also the same.. Aaron just zoomed past me. I keep looking around, anything wrong in my boat? NO!

But its still as slow.

I don't know whats my problem. I never had such problems with NSC14, which upsets me a lot la cos I'm having such problems with MOE B12. And I love the boat so much. Dang! D:

I'm suddenly doubting my ability in sailing, a lot. Like, I'm now paying more attention during briefing, and I'm training harder, or at least I think I am. BUT I'M STILL SLOW. Always last few. ALWAYS. Whats wrong with me?!

Before the next regatta I'd better be better. Or else I'm so gonna kill myself. Not literally, I'd find some ways similar.

Haha just joking. But really. I was quite upset when I sailed so badly la. Besides Linjie and some random people with super bad starts, thats all I can win. Suddenly, Aaron and David become much better than me. Wenfeng and I (I feel la) are currently on par. But he still wins me more often than I win him.

Sigh. Double sigh. Triple sigh.
Sighsighsigh! UGH.

I don't know wtf is wrong with me. Really. I don't know.