G E E B E E ▲ ∆

Gwendolyn N.
20 years young, a dreamer with a slight obsession for the lemniscate.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

If I can't express myself, I am NOW.

You don't seem to understand; how I feel when you say such stuff.
It just hurts such a fucking much.
But do you CARE?
I do things you don't like, not saying anything won't change it.
Instead, you get mad at me. You think I feel nothing when you get mad.
You think I don't care.

Can you open up your eyes and see how much I care about you?
Or do you want to be blind FOREVER?

I get insanely hurt when YOU get hurt.
But just because I don't show it doesn't mean I don't feel it.
Worse still, it seems like I hurt you.
I always do, don't I?
I don't wanna quarrell with you.
No more fighting;
I don't want to see you hurt. Nope, I don't.

Whenever you're tired, you say stuff.
Stuff you don't mean.
I just keep quiet, incase what I say indirectly hurts you.
BUT it hurts me instead.
I don't mind, tho.
'Cos I'd rather see you hurt than see me hurt.

I know I'm not the prettiest; I know I'm not the best.
I'm trying to change, for you.
So you think I'm not bothered?
You always say there are other prettier girls out there.
I know that too you know.

You ask me if I really thought you meant what you said. Those words hurt.
Duh I'd think that you really meant it.
But you say it anyway, like it means nothing to you.
It means a lot- to ME.
Cry inside, & hope you don't mean it and that things would change for the better the next day.

I know that when you get tired, you say things you don't mean.
I understand that you're tired.
Those words end up meaning a lot to me though,
I'd think you really meant it.

I sometimes don't really want you to know how I feel.
I don't want you to get hurt or mad at me.

I don't want you to doubt how much I love you;
I don't doubt you. Really.
Will you really make me feel secure?

Don't you know you mean everything to me? You're the most important person to me;

It hurts.
It really does.

-To think you don't care.

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