Hiliarious

Thought I should just share this since B& shared it with me on the phone on the way home from work. Had to contain my laughter the whole bus ride back! Too funny. The whole thing is 10 pages long, so yeah just click on the link to read the rest! I'm just sharing the funnier word ones. The image ones are hell funny!

http://speedywap.com/20583/20-hilarious-school-exam-answers/


The following questions were set in last year’s GCSE examination in England.

These are genuine answers from 16 year olds, not very bright, but entertaining, 16 year olds.


Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and U

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium

Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport.

Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight

(Get this one? Try pronouncing 'benign'. It sounds like "be-nine")

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head