G E E B E E ▲ ∆

Gwendolyn N.
20 years young, a dreamer with a slight obsession for the lemniscate.

Monday, May 17, 2010

"See, I'm a wreck inside. My tongue is tied and my whole body feels so weak."

The future may be all I really need.
And it might be wonderful,
It might be magical,
It might be everything I'm waiting for;
A miracle.
Oh, but even if I fall in love again with someone new,
It can never be the way,
No it will never be the way...

I've been listening to Selena Gomez's songs, and I'm starting to love her as a singer.

Remember how I said I'd sleep early on my Facebook status update?

Well, I lied.

Fred asked me to call and as usual, our phone conversations don't end 'till 2, 3 or 4am. He got me playing Bejewelled again. Oh the horror. I used to be terribly addicted to that game in the past. Something like what he is now? I'm trying to beat his hi-score of 297k. Goodness.

Was extremely frustrated over 3 things and I briefly elaborated each one to him. If he wasn't there for me to rant to, I would've gone nuts. I was close to punching walls. Another personality trait of mine I detest: Not being able to control myself when people ignore me or keep me in suspense. (Now you all know why I spam text messages and MSN messages if you don't reply for a few hours. And I'm referring to a lot of people when it comes to this.)

I don't know why, but I get a terrible headache because I force myself to think hard why I'm being ignored, then when I can't figure I'd shake my legs damn hard and I become extremely negative and the whole cycle repeats.

That's my weakness. That's why I told Darren I'm not strong.

Talked to Hito about this and she was like, "._. Gotta control yourself!"

My three problems? One bothers me too much, one doesn't bother me at all, and the last one just.. is.

It rained earlier and I was happy that it was pouring instead of it being like a light on-off drizzle.

Ended up playing with the rain instead of closing the windows. My pillows and even my piano got a bit wet! The sleeves of my teeshirt were too. The water was cold but I love the carefree feeling you get when you stick your hands out in the rain.

Playing in the rain always reminds me of 3 people: J., * and this kind uncle who sheltered me when it was raining on my way home from school.

I remember how J. said he was embarassed when I played in the rain in school because I'd stick my head out of the railing and end up getting my hair all wet. Then he said I would be like a kid, sticking my hands out and smiling like a retard. When we were still together he saw me playing with the rain during recess once since his classroom was one floor above the sec2's? Mad embarassing.

For the kind uncle.. There was once I was walking home from the bus stop in the rain. It was pouring and I bent my body over to protect my bag (even though it was a waterproof backpack I didn't want to take the risk) so I was totally drenched. Worse still I had to wait for the traffic light under the tree at AMK Mac's side of the road.

I was standing under the tree shivering and my arms were wet so I was afraid the rainwater might've already gotten to my bag, but suddenly I didn't feel the rainwater running down my face. I looked up to see this bus uncle shelthering me. He told me it was alright and I awkwardly uttered a soft "Thank you". He sheltered me across the road and asked if I was staying near by.

Those who've walked to my house from Hub would know its quite a far walk in with not much shelter. But I didn't wanna bother the uncle so I told him I stayed at the block right infront of the bus stop he sheltered me to, only to run home.

Needless to say I enjoyed running home in the rain. But when I got to the lift I realised my uniform became.. transparent. And.. girls don't like that. Even my skirt was completely soaked.

Alright, my yawns are getting more frequent.

Can't wait for the performance practice tomorrow. Gonna be awesome!

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