Remedy

I'm actually hungry at 12:55AM.

Sooner or later I'm gonna turn into some pig I swear. Been eating more than usual recently, tho I get full just as easily. Ughhhhhh can't gain any more weight!

I think my laptop has a virus. Firefox has been ridiculously slow, Youtube videos choose as and when they want to play, and it takes 30mins to upload 5 photos on a blog post (tho it took a WAY shorter time on the sailing blog).

Need a new laptop, camera, Polaroid.. sigh all expensive stuff.

WHY CAN'T I WORK NOW??!
So unfair being a kid. Okay fine, a sixteen year-old kid.

Planning to earn some cash after I graduate for vintage cameras.

Expensive, yes.

My tan lines now are horrendous! Too outrageous for innocent, untanned eyes. Oh the horror, oh the dismay. *drama queen* My arms are two-toned, colors splitting at the wrist.

I've been so badly burnt by this inter-schools that my face wrinkles up when I smile, like an old person's face.

My left index finger is swollen from this cut I got from trying to take out my rudder. The skin was already torn and that cut brought the original cut further down till it was just bleeding and bleeding.

When I run my fingers past the areas above my cheekbones, it ACTUALLY hurts. Cuz my skin there cracked, kind of.

Was supposed to study today. No freaking idea why I've been online half the day.

Weather? Maybe. Mood? Maybe. Determination? Not there. Wake up call? Arrival postponed. Inspiration? Long gone. End in mind? No end in preview.

Distractions?
TOO MANY TO LIST.

Like I told Dm, I seriously cannot go on like this.

That problem is affecting my studies. It is affecting me bad. I won't hesitate to admit it now, I really won't. Thing is, I'm too cowardly to face it. I care too much about what opposition feels, when I'm just feeling rather helpless.

Told myself over a month ago, settle this once and for all. Midyears are coming, you can't afford to be like that now.

I planned what to do what to say, a month ago (yes a month! A FREAKING MONTH!). And everything went down the drain in one day. How amazingly cowardly can I get? They told me, I'm too nice to even care. "Just go la, care so much for what?" but I just shook my head saying I can't or opposition won't like it.

So here I am, too distracted to study for a nonsensical reason.

I don't wanna be like sec3, when just cuz of one thing I wasted a whole year - literally my life. I paid the price at the start of this year when I found myself not being able to cope with the workload and huge amounts of unknown things sprouting out of teachers' mouths.

ONE YEAR. I took that long to wake up last year over something I now find very stupid and probably disgusting.


So, how long will it take for something I don't find very stupid or very disgusting?


Life certainly sucks when you don't have the certain special person/people you want to enjoy it with or celebrate happenings with.

Goodnight!