あなたが大嫌い。

まってくれ。。。
愚か者だけがロマンスを信じます。
ありえない
あり得ない、つうの！！！


Ah.
Wish I had the luxury of time, but I don't.

I slacked too much, got too distracted, let me get the better of myself.

So now I'm going downstairs to study. Well I've seen uni guys study there till like what, 2am plus? Seems to be a good environment. Thought of going down at 7plus, but I came home at 7PM (stayed back in school to do Bio) and let some things get the better of me.

Called Alex and had to most fun chat via phone with her (or anyone else!) ever since the start of this year! Yeah girl, feel honoured. :) but thanks to her, I got my sane mind back. Hun, we know each other too well. Thanks for being there for me and all, appreciated!

Emath tuition tomorrow at 10am. Die, die, die!


Hoping to get the class photos ASAP, then I'll be able to show you the lovelies of my class. Love 4E like hell, noisy as we are, English-y as we are, bitchy as we are, we're still a class and we stick together like one (majority of the time).

We were the hots during phototaking yo! We stripped!

Not.

We wore our sec three-quarters (LOL our thing, cuz we specially made the jersey to last us thru sec3 and 4. So it writes 3/4Endeavour on the front) jersey inside our uniform and stripped our uniform during funshot. Died of heat omg. Did catwalks with Bern's plastic bag. I must say, imitating people is the most fun.

A lot of people from 4E are falling sick!

Afiqah with fever, Atiqah with a lot of stuff plus fever, Alex felt a bit unwell this morning, Justin had a super bad flu, they said Izzy's got it now, sneezing away sometimes.

I had a super bad headache during Mr Lim's 2-hour Chem remedial after Mdm Loh's Bio remedial/lesson, and kept dozing off. Sorry Mr Lim!

Failure, failure.
Au contraire.

No. I felt like such a failure when I got back my Alkanes and Alkenes test paper. Friggin 3/20, when I studied for it in advance!! I understood these two chapters so well, too! Its been so hard juggling all my work now. But I've got no choice. :(

I cried a bit and felt listless.
Like, I totally blanked during the test I swear. I remembered everything that I could answer, but for some reason my mind was thinking nonsense, and I panicked. Hope this doesn't happen during MYEs.


Btw, brought Jimmy home today! A.K.A. 3.

Jimmy's one of our class hamsters. Jani brought home Jinyang, A.K.A. 4. JY doesn't bite, but Jimmy does! Very scared of handling him. Shall post photos later, k?


OKAY MY STUDIES CALLS FOR ME, DOWNSTAIRS MY HDB BLOCK.

Just nice, I need alone time and peace and quiet too.

My parents think its dangerous la. What, I wish sometimes I was a boy! Go downstairs to study also find it dangerous, especially when I said there's no one downstairs at this time.

Don't worry, I won't get raped or whatever please. =.=

Listen to your heart, looking for your dream

I don't get how some people can be so..
Try letting me humiliate you with whatever I don't like about you. Try that for a change, huh? You tell me how you'd feel. People just have their limits.

Who is THE person you are comfortable talking about just anything to?

I don't know. Well, me and Alex were talking about this during English. Like, if you're not comfortable about talking about the things that are bothering you the most to your closest friends because in some way or another, they don't quite understand the situation you are in, can you really consider them closest?

How..

Mind-boggling.


That aside, I think sooner or later, I'm just gonna burst. Hur.

I am who I am. I get what I get. You can't define the world as yours, can you? NO, duh! Only some evil person/robots/aliens out to rule the world would, but in actual fact, it isn't theirs.
You're not an evil person/robot/alien.. are you?

Shit, now I'm talking nonsense.


Took 169 home with HAMZAH! today. Okay, I meant Syafiqah.

Talked a lot about ACS(I)'s school life, since both our cousins were from there.

Saw the guy I always see on the way to school. The one I find rather good-looking LOL. Told her I always see him and she was like, "You actually take note of people on the bus??" well, saw him so many times on so many mornings; he's either standing infront or behind me, how to not notice?

Maybe its cuz he has this damn familiar look. Like, whenever I look at him I THINK I knew him or seen him somewhere before, besides on the bus.

Or maybe its cuz he's tan and tall or something. Ning said I always look out for these kind of guys, like they're my type or something? HAHA. =.=


Omg, NING! *GASP*

Remember, eye-candy session out at sea last year!! EYE-CANDY SESSION!!! You didn't even find * cute what, how could you. Tall, tan and skinny! Rememberrrrrr?! THAT.

Last year, we asked each other which guy sailor we thought was kinda good-looking or hot while waiting for the next race to start. When I told her who, she was like, "Omg Gwen, why are all the guys you go for/find cute are tall, dark, and skinny!"

Well, I don't know?


Gonna get a new phone soon!
I hope. Dad's in Genting so I must wait for him to come back :(

Getting Quinnie's one, or Sony Ericsson's C510, cuz I need a replacement for a camera soon. Either way, Quin's one still has a nice camera, and its touch screen!

Ultimately, I still want the iPhone. Thanks a lot Celine, you're making me jealous of yours! :(:(:(

As for *'s, I decided to pay for it myself. See, such a nice person, HOR??? Okay no its cuz I feel guilty hah!


OKAY LAPPY HAS ONLY 20% BATTERY LEFT AND I NEED TO STUDY SO GOOD AFTERNOON AND BYE! TTYL HUNS :)

p.s.

The Rooster occasionally has trouble with relationships due to an inclination to argue and nag. You will have more friends if you can control this tendency. And, those relationships you do have will function more smoothly.

Your friends should be people who are not easily offended. This is because you probably tend to be direct and say what is on your mind, sometimes without regard to the feelings of others. Although you do not mean anything personal, you can easily hurt sensitive people.

Wowwww. How true.

Getting a little bit opinionated about you.. just a bit

Sometimes, its just the little things that you do that gives someone else an impression of what kind of person you are. I don't need your words of sarcasm nor do I need those words that you think don't sting but infact, they do.


Dai Yang Tian just kissed Theresa Lin. Girls are gonna be like, "OMG HE KISSD HER!" eww. Sorry but I don't see why he's that likable. I don't like this table tennis show either. Hah! All the computer effects are so.. mhmm.

And I got a hell lot of homework to do. Wanted to upload photos today too but it takes too long. Need to get Lappy fixed!

Oh, you know how on the sit-and-reach station, there are these two black bar things at either side of where you sit? Yeah some 4E girls would remember how I sat ON THE EDGE OF THE BLACK BAR instead of in the middle of them.

Now that area has this blood clot / blue-black thing and hurts whenever I sit down!!

Not happy at all with my NAPFA 5 stations this year, dropped like shit.

SBJ: 191CM (I jumped 210cm during normal PE sessions with ease :( )
Sit and Reach: 55CM
IPU: 35 (what happened to my 44?? D:)
Shuttle run: 10.5s
Sit up: 43 :(


I just proved how blur I can get.

On Monday I left the house late. So I rushed to the bus stop thinking I was gonna be late. On the bus there were no Mayflowerians at all, so I thought I was REALLY late. Suddenly it occured to me that school starts at 9:00AM on Monday. =.=

Yeah and the other Monday I thought school STARTS at 9:20AM when it ENDS at 9:20AM.

Gundu..

My scalp is peeling! Gross. Now I know how Peckkhee felt when she told me about how her scalp used to peel after Interschools or the 5-day races. Ahhhhhh its so damn gross!

Okay feeling guilty now. I need to make a call and get back to my homework. Got loads to do after coming back from interschools, including a 15-page Geog essay set, 3-page essay on the Blue Revolution, Bio TYS, loads of Emath papers, Chem worksheets, Lit notes..

Gonna get drowned in them soon.

Goodnight!

Vintage camera heaven much?

Caleb (my awesome Polaroid OneStep CloseUp, a.k.a. my baby-slash-boyfriend) is working again!

Was watching Catch That Kid, and Corbin Bleu is in it! He seems like he's 12 in this movie. And the girl looks like.. KRISTEN STEWART??! Okay yeah it is her. And her birthday's April 9th, 1990.

Check. It. Out!
Its so old, the brand name is like.. fading off.

My dad was trying to find his old Polaroid earlier (in prevention to persuade me not to buy a new Polaroid cam), and while digging through the cupboard we found his old vintage Praktica kit that he just chucked away like that, what the hell! Complete with macro lenses, Carl Zeiss lens!!

With a rainbow neck strap which if Quinnie saw she'll totally love.

Mom promised to get me a DSLR if I get 15 or below for my O's. HAHAHA I kinda don't believe it actually. But suddenly, a compact camera doesn't seem all that bad. Considering Panasonic LX3 as the reviews online were all very good.

Well, time to go study. Told myself to finish at least a few chapters today no matter what. No distractions, nothing. Ughhhhhh.

Remedy

I'm actually hungry at 12:55AM.

Sooner or later I'm gonna turn into some pig I swear. Been eating more than usual recently, tho I get full just as easily. Ughhhhhh can't gain any more weight!

I think my laptop has a virus. Firefox has been ridiculously slow, Youtube videos choose as and when they want to play, and it takes 30mins to upload 5 photos on a blog post (tho it took a WAY shorter time on the sailing blog).

Need a new laptop, camera, Polaroid.. sigh all expensive stuff.

WHY CAN'T I WORK NOW??!
So unfair being a kid. Okay fine, a sixteen year-old kid.

Planning to earn some cash after I graduate for vintage cameras.

Expensive, yes.

My tan lines now are horrendous! Too outrageous for innocent, untanned eyes. Oh the horror, oh the dismay. *drama queen* My arms are two-toned, colors splitting at the wrist.

I've been so badly burnt by this inter-schools that my face wrinkles up when I smile, like an old person's face.

My left index finger is swollen from this cut I got from trying to take out my rudder. The skin was already torn and that cut brought the original cut further down till it was just bleeding and bleeding.

When I run my fingers past the areas above my cheekbones, it ACTUALLY hurts. Cuz my skin there cracked, kind of.

Was supposed to study today. No freaking idea why I've been online half the day.

Weather? Maybe. Mood? Maybe. Determination? Not there. Wake up call? Arrival postponed. Inspiration? Long gone. End in mind? No end in preview.

Distractions?
TOO MANY TO LIST.

Like I told Dm, I seriously cannot go on like this.

That problem is affecting my studies. It is affecting me bad. I won't hesitate to admit it now, I really won't. Thing is, I'm too cowardly to face it. I care too much about what opposition feels, when I'm just feeling rather helpless.

Told myself over a month ago, settle this once and for all. Midyears are coming, you can't afford to be like that now.

I planned what to do what to say, a month ago (yes a month! A FREAKING MONTH!). And everything went down the drain in one day. How amazingly cowardly can I get? They told me, I'm too nice to even care. "Just go la, care so much for what?" but I just shook my head saying I can't or opposition won't like it.

So here I am, too distracted to study for a nonsensical reason.

I don't wanna be like sec3, when just cuz of one thing I wasted a whole year - literally my life. I paid the price at the start of this year when I found myself not being able to cope with the workload and huge amounts of unknown things sprouting out of teachers' mouths.

ONE YEAR. I took that long to wake up last year over something I now find very stupid and probably disgusting.


So, how long will it take for something I don't find very stupid or very disgusting?


Life certainly sucks when you don't have the certain special person/people you want to enjoy it with or celebrate happenings with.

Goodnight!

The end. (editing post later)

More photos coming soon! I think my laptop has viruses and it takes like what, 30mins to upload 5 pictures? Very torturous waiting for it. Give me a few more days, check back this space, or go to my Facebook to get the photos. :)

R.I.P. destroyed Polaroid.

My plate, compared to..

.. both of Jack's plates.

A coach who sincerely wanted to help, and someone whom we really need to thank for our results, be it good or bad.

How some people from the already-graduated batch made fun of her the first few times we met her was really weird. How could people even make fun of such a nice coach?

I'll miss you Jhing!

Well done 'B' and 'C' girls, and 'C' boys!
No matter what, we all tried our best (yeah duh I tried my best cuz I fainted on the 1st day of the B div races :\).

Thanks Vir and Daomin omg. If you two weren't there I'd just faint on the sand. Vir was damn cute, she leaned me against her knee and held me there for damn long. Super caring juniors of mine :):):)

While helping me into the shade they gave me someone's waterbottle? Dunno whose water that was.. they said the name but I was kinda in a panic :x thanks whoever that 1.5 litre waterbottle belonged to! Hahaha.

Think the sec4 guys were kinda bummed out. But oh well, school kept tying us down so HOW TO TRAIN. You guys gave it your best shot yeah! :)

My Polaroid freaking spoilt.
Wtf? My baby! I don't just dump it on the floor etc. I have no idea how the hell it just spoilt. The picture keeps jamming. The first day I used it it was okay, no idea why when I used it during the prize presentation, it couldn't work!!!!!

I cried and Jiabin was looking and me and like, "Eh Gwen, don't cry la.."

Trying to find somewhere to repair it cuz it meant a lot to me.. not gonna get a new one! But Singapore is so lousy, we lack so many shops/things blah! Worse come to worse I'll get a new one but still... nothing can replace Caleb cuz it was a precious gift from my beloved juniors!

During the buffet dinner with all the sailors (even Ryan came from school lol!), I sat around chatting with Daomin outside Sakura.

It was fun talking to her. We talked about *, a guy I seriously can't believe I was with! We just kept laughing at all the stupid things that happened, and my sec2 days. Aww. After that, Bryan joined in. I was very troubled by something, so much I started to cry. Its very disturbing and suffocating.

I just need someone to talk to about it. Someone that won't diss me.

Dm was soooo nice. I refused to go home, so both her and Bryan sat opposite Anderson Pri with me to talk and help me with my dilema.

Usually when I'm troubled I'll walk home and listen to music. Bryan could take 162 with DM but he wanted to accompany me. Thanks! :) we walked from YCK to AMK. Got Milo on the way. He's like a little bro, and told me he was worried I'd become like his sister- failing O's, overdosing on pills etc. just for a guy. Hmm, no worries man I won't be like that. :)

Met Iggy, Teng and WM on the way home cuz they went to play pool.

Was so tired out I slept the moment I got home. Sweaty but I didn't care.

----------------------------------------
Rescheduled tuition today cuz I was really too exhausted. I woke up at 9, ate breakfast, went back to sleep and only woke up at 4.30PM! Vvovv.

Its freaking hot now. Sweating tho the fan is blowing right in my face. Gonna shower then turn on the air conditioning. UGHHHH HOT WEATHERRRRR!!

Arshavin- beautiful goals

Just finished watching the replay of Liverpool vs. Arsenal.

What else can I say but BEAUTIFUL GOALS, Arshavin! Beautifulllllll. For some reason I didn't really watch Nasri this time cuz I was more focused on the laptop and my dad only makes sure I pay attention when Arshavin scores. But whenever the commentators say "Nasri", I jolt up from my seat but miss him :(

Saw his lovely face (and familiar highlighted hair), tho. Heartthrobbbbbbb!! *faints*

Football fan or not, just watch this last goal from Arsenal.
ARSHAVIN '90.



See how cute he was after he scored! Doing that number "4" thing on his hand and the "shhhhh!..!" thing. He did that for the 3rd goal too, minus the fingers-on-the-lips! Obviously from his face, he himself was in disbelief that he could've scored FOUR goals for Arsenal!


It was a corner, and honestly if my dad didn't tell me Arshavin scored a goal near that, I would've thought Liverpool scored.

Apparently Walcott got the ball and SEE HOW FAST he was! And for Arshavin to catch up.. wow look at their speed, especially Arshavin's, as they sprint across the field. If only they didn't have 3mins extra time. Liverpool wouldn't have scored.

Dad says NO ONE has scored 4 goals against Liv'pool in their home since 1960. NO ONE!

See how Arshavin and Torres are so cute in the sense that they both have this really pink cheek color against their really pale (yet slightly tanned!) skin color. How cute are they man!!! :D Sadly, Torres has a pregnant fiance, Olalla, and Arshavin is married. :(

I told my dad, "Imagine if Arsenal buys Torres! It'll become the PERFECT team man."

"Arsenal almost bought Torres!"

"Why?" (as in, why ALMOST??!)

"Torres was a good friend of Fabregas, so Arsene Wenger gave it some thought. Almost bought him over from Liverpool but for some reason, he didn't."

Aww! If Arsene Wenger did, Arsenal would not only be perfect, they'd have so many cute heartthrobs like my husband Samir Nasri! Nasri, Arshavin, Fabregas, Walcott.. and the almost-Torres!

Okay 'nuff about football and Arsenal.
(I love Nasri and Arshavin!)


Juniors, well done for today! Both C divs won something :) to the darling girls, you girls gave it your best, did all that you could. Don't worry alright! Just smile and think, "We'll get them next year!" and use that as motivation to get your enthusiasm for training going. Go get 'em, tigers! :P

I love being by the sea.

Polaroid will be scan tomorrow okay! Too tired and lazy to scan it in now. A bit destroyed by Jiabin and Carlo. My first Polaroid!!! Belle helped me to waste one film too LOL, but it was accidental and I didn't mind.

Every time I show someone the Polaroid I took, they'd go: "OHHHH LUNCH MONEY GONEEEEE!!!" or, "Omg, 3 bucks per picture??!"


Face it G, you'll never get a reply.

What I said, I truly meant. But if you don't bother.. how?

Sometimes I wonder why I bother trying when the other just doesn't wanna accept what I'm trying to do. Do I just have too much faith in a broken friendship or am I just purely dumb to actually try and try.

Suddenly I feel like breaking into song, like how Quin and Aaron does whenever they find something to link a song to! :o

Oh how I wish things would of happened so differently
I tried to save it so many times but you still couldn't see
You kept insistin' and resistin' that you would not fall again

Don't wanna try, don't wanna try, don't wanna try no more
You keep insisting when you know our love is out the door
Don't wanna try, don't wanna try,
Cuz all we do is fight and say the things
That hurt so bad to where we both begin to cry
Don't wanna try, don't wanna try
I 'bout just had enough
Its been a rough road, baby just let it go
Don't wanna try, don't wanna try, don't wanna try no more
Tell me whats the use of holdin' on when all we do is hurt our love

- Don't Wanna Try, by Frankie J.
The song used in the piano battle between this SuJu guy and someone else ah Manda only you would know man! Hahaha.

Well thankfully my other problems are better now! And honestly I love them as much as I used to. ;)

Walking down alone to the other breakwater while listening to songs on my iPod was just lovely. :) should do it more often next time.

Highlight of today was Jhing and how one sentence from Iggy triggered a whole 'language lesson' from Jhing! We learnt a few new Philipino words today, and we kept repeating the one Iggy asked her about. :S

Fish n Co with DM, Chiaee, Iggy, Quin, Teng and Bryan.

Bryan's gonna lend me his bike again! Yippie! Need to exercise to lose weight man omg. Iggy said FBTs stand for For Big Tighs, then he pointed to me, Daomin and Chiaee cuz we were all wearing FBTs. Wth laaaa D:


My list of loved! :D

1. Nasri
2. Jonghyun
3. Taemin
4. Torres
5. Arshavin
6. Fabregas

RAIN, RAIN, GO AWAY. Its raining now. Wind tomorrow, yes? :)
First time I'm asking the rain to go away. :(

Time to buy those Japanese weather good luck charms!

Meet my new boyf!

Had such a picture-filled post for you guys today! Sadly blogger decides not to upload my photos.

Bought my Polaroid 600 film after the Chinese Oral with Aaron and Quin. My allowance/savings of $60 flew out the window. At first I was one upset girl but now that I loaded the film and got Polaroidy/Caleb (picking a name!), I'm now very excited.

Walked home from J8 with them and tho my back nearly broke under the weight of my bag, I was one happy girl when I got home!

Reasons being:

1. Celine lent me her camera to use! :) what makes me sad is that her camera is EXACTLY the same as my camera I lost in Thailand. :( aww Cammie, how are you in Thailand now?
   
2. I got my parcel! NEW SHIRT WOOHOO!
   

3 more days.. and I'll be officially free.

It'll be books, books and more books.
Occasionally I think I might follow them down to study at East Coast since I know home is way too distracting. My mind only feels at peace when I'm at the seaside or seeing stars.

Heard my girl juniors did very well today? Successful redress, removal of OCS, and a possible 3rd? Well done! Very proud of you girls. :) keep it up for tomorrow! Guys too ;)


-------------------------
The word mundane can never be linked with today.

I loved today, even tho the day before I was total emo-shit, storming out of class cuz I couldn't take it, standing at my fav. spot crying.. "Manda and Gwen are unusually noisy today ah!!!" was what Atiqah commented at the start of the day, which was kinda nice. I liked today partially cuz of Manda. BE HONOURED! :)


We watched this ABSOLUTELY STUPID skit this morning, as part of Care talk. Some of us said we could report the school, cuz Xiao Ke Ai (a.k.a. Mdm Koh) was being so.. EWW. Trying to seduce Mr Gana?

"You free tonight?", "Somewhere far from this school", "Gelang Serai", "Only both of us"..
Don't those words make you THINK something?

Like, a skit by teachers indirectly encouraging student-teacher relationships? Oh gawd. We were friggin' grossed out. Her tehhhhh voice still rings in my head. "Mr Gaaaaana~" OH MY GOSH. I think I can't sleep tonight! GOOSEBUMPS!

Some people even said she was trying to potray herself as a -. You fill in the blank.


Bio test kinda made me feel bummed out, and we continued with the puberty video after! Super funny, we SWEAR the camera went brushing thru pubic hair. Like everyone went, "IS THAT.. PUBIC HAIR??!?!?!!!!"

Chinese oral after school made me so nervous!

Zoe broke a chair and she took a new one with a sharp thing poking out of the seat, and I sat on it!! AHHH MY LEFT LEG.

Went thru alkenes with Mr Lim and Nic after that and went off to get film. Love that chapter and the one on alkanes to bits, honest! Sorry la CS for not staying back to dance with you and Mr Lim!

---------------------


Ending off with videos, first up a crew that's wicked sick. Was watching a video on Suzan Boyle and ended up looking at this. They truly are Flawless! How awesome are they. One of the most interesting locking routines I've seen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GrOMLylvhQ&feature=related

I'd be very happy if I had a crew that stuck together thru thick and thin for 4 years, practising everyday! It'd be pure HEAVEN to practise dance everyday.

TAEMINNIE!
Hell cute in this video. His freestyle :D I actually found one of Jonghyun (oppaaaa!!) but you only see a bit of his face (his friends all had mushroom heads while he has spiky hair! COOL ANNOT?!) and the rest was him singing at some dark karaoke place. :(


p.s. JONGHYUN OPPA IS MINE

Love Life. Live Life. Live Love.

To my darling juniors, GOOD LUCK FOR INTERSCHOOLS! Results don't matter, just give it your best shot! Especially for the sec1s, know some of you guys are like super nervous? Awwww~!

Jiabin, Ariel, Donovan (lil bro!), Marilyn, Siitin, Liqi, Lynette, Gladys! JIAYOU GUYS :) love you all to bits and pieces hahaha. Not forgetting the sec2s, Daomin, Vir, Chiaee, Aaron J., Amanda, Zaki, Joshua K. and Joshua G., ALL THE BEST YOU GUYS! Xoxoxoxoxo to inifinity. I love my juniors to hell, even if they DO give me hell sometimes, they're the sweetest things most of the time and to be honest they're the ones brightening up my sailing trainings recently.. so yeah!

--------------------------
Contemplated giving my sailing jersey to someone else. I was the one who suggested it last year during sailing camp, and now I don't want mine. Told Iggy and Quin already. Even so, I can't really decide.

I've been so drawn from everything these few days cuz, well, I don't know.

Walked out of class in the middle of Emath cuz I couldn't take it anymore. Bio was okay even tho it was after recess but Emath after that was PURE HELL. Was so tempted to scream and punch the wall beside me.

Didn't care about anything anymore, so I just drifted off to sleep during CME. Mdm Loh gave us something to do in groups but I guess they decided to let me sleep. Woke up and it was almost the end CME.

A lot of people were sleeping too! Manda, Ker, Jiaqi, Sera, Justin had his head down.. I bet Lianyi, Atiqah and Cia were somewhat doing the same too!

Mdm Loh was like, "You all must go MF forums and tell them not to start school so late! Say.. 'Mdm Loh's CME was VERY interesting, but due to the humid weather we couldn't prevent ourselves from falling asleep so we must start school earlier!!', okay?"

Had lunch, did Emath and went up for English Oral!

Was super nervous, and of all invilgilators I picked Mdm Suhailah, MY OWN ENGLISH TEACHER.

But overall I actually ENJOYED the session! What's my secret??

.

.

.

Everyone's beloved RICK ASTLEY!!!!

Jani, Bev and Gabriella all gave me this o__o look when I said I talked about Singfest AND Rick Astley.

Muahaha. I bet I was the only one who talked about Singfest AND the fact that Rick Astley also performed. I actually told Mdm Suhailah, "And then I thought, 'What on Earth is he doing there!!' all the young artistes performing and then he comes out. =.=", which actually made her laugh.


I MUST talk about my recent amazing online discovery!!

I found this Wordpress website and immediately I was in vintage camera heaven! Saw the one below and was immediately taken away. Reminds me of Lomo's Lubitel. They sell all sorts of vintage cameras, video camera (no 'S' at the back) and accessories! Browsing thru the website was freaking awesome.

Rolleiflex 3.5A Automat MX TLR Camera

YES! THIS video camera! Canon omg.

Most Polaroids are either in mint condish, or new! Of course, they're vintage. Awesome aren't they! OMGOMGOMG I WANT MORE, MORE, MOREEEEE!!!

(Like how Eileen wants dogs so badly, I want cameras.)

Aaaaaand..
BISHAN'S STANDARD PHOTO BRANCH HAS POLAROID 600 FILM! OH THE JOY!

$29.50 for a pack of 10 film.. ah hell expensive. Think I'll buy one tomorrow with my own money.. today I asked dad to get one for me at the AMK branch.

Thinking of getting a Fujifilm Instax one, since its slightly smaller and the film is cheaper.

Contradictory? Not quite much.

Decided to change my blog's fonts. Easier on the eyes, hopefully. But I have no idea why my [table] coding is linked to my [.blogtitle] coding, and I am too lazy to find out, since this directly tells me my coding skills have obviously gone rusty.

(edit: got it. Just had to use the "font face=" coding. Gosh am I dumb.)

Btw, some overdues from Cia's Facebook:

This wasn't done on purpose, Mel put the biscuits in the order above and Cia noticed it.

Me and Samir Nasri are so meant to be.

Cia says this is my pout.

I don't get it, she always seems to notice whenever I'm pouting, even if I myself don't realise it. It isn't a pout! POUTS LOOK LIKE THIS- :3

Yes, its my big fat (un)fabulous birthday celebration in the canteen. Haha. Thanks girls, that really made my day.

These people stood by me thru thick and thin, loved me for who I am and made me feel special on the day I was feeling ultimately like shit, so a million and trillion thanks would never suffice.

On the other hand, I realised that I seriously am experiencing the same shit I went thru last year. Same scenarios, same situations, (only) different people.

Last year I remember my birthday wasn't exactly celebrated by AGEK much, and my whole birthday post was literally dedicated to the sailors cuz David, Iggy and Quin bought me a cake or something (I called them my sailing clique in the post HAHA HILARIOUS)? And how I wasn't surprised cuz Jack told me beforehand.. and yeah. And how the bottom of the post was all about someone and how he ruined my birthday in the end. HAHA I GOT THE MAJOR FUNNYS FROM READING IT AGAIN.

This year, my birthday wasn't celebrated by the sailors at all (except for the Polaroid given to me from them, thanks!), and majorly celebrated by AGEK. My whole birthday post was dedicated to them, and yeah THEY bought me a cake this time. And this time it was another person who graced the bottom of my post, but weirdly, compared to last year, you can't consider it "gracing", the way I put it.

So.. same scenario much?

The people/events/things that majorly make me feel so lifeless just turned the tables, literally.

Y'know what? I'm getting sweaty palms now and the aircon's on.

Oh and guess what, since Mommy Dearest won't take me to the doctor's, I decided I would take myself. But I need to save the money first (not willing to spend my current savings!), since I'm not gonna tell her.

Aaaaand I cried again today. HAHA LOSER. Just cuz she scolded me and gave me that big-eyed stare.

Why do I take insults so seriously?

I hate being at home now. I don't WANT to be at home. I read Gigi Torres's blog, and was truly inspired. It'll take me a while before realising how important the people I'm currently rebelling against are to me.

And I decided that after O's, I'm not gonna take whatever sewing courses or whatever I intended to take. I'm gonna focus entirely on dance. Hopefully 2 lessons per week or more. Who said you can't go the extra mile in order to realise your dream?

I need to stop thinking so much. I'm just stressing myself out.
I'm over-sensitive, no one can change a crap of that cuz its me.
But I have a feeling I'm getting more and more disliked, but who cares. I don't give a damn about anything now I guess.


I'm not gonna enjoy April 22nd - 24th. 3 days of being away from 4Endeavour.. sigh. Can't imagine how I used to think 3Endeavour was hell cuz the people I was having a cold war with were all there while sailing was heaven cuz all my best friends were there.

And how now I'm thinking 4Endeavour is heaven while sailing is hell cuz all the people I'm having cold war with are there.


p.s. Yesterday Zhien asked me why I wasn't online on MSN but online on Facebook. Well to be honest, I've not gone online on MSN for quite some time now. :) no one talks to me there and I don't find a need to talk to anyone.

For all things upsetting, 2-posts-in-a-post WOW.

I already told you I wanted to get my polaroid film way earlier right? Who asked you to go out and only come home now. Still say what you don't wanna go now since we're going for dinner with Celine wtf do you think you're talking about you take me as some idiot don't you yeah I'LL GO MYSELF LATER AND ACCORDING TO YOU, NOT GO FOR DINNER AND SKIP IT OKAY stop asking me why my face is so black YES ITS CUZ OF YOU I really wanna just bang a wall and die now cuz you're being so idiotic and you totally just don't care about how I feel when you say fucking stupid things that you think is funny YOU'RE SUCH A JOKE HAHAHAHAHAHA I FEEL SO SARCASTIC WHOOHOO.

---------------------------

Realised that I care too much.

I refrain from asking even tho I really can't take it anymore. Why am I getting so affected by it when you're actually happier? Why do I give a shit about you when you don't anymore? Why am I the only one lagging behind in terms of emotions?

Felt so disinterested in Emath just now during tuition.
Didn't feel like I should be doing anything.

Told mom I wanted to go Bukit Batok to get my polaroid film before meeting Celine and her mom for dinner, and she started saying it was my fault I lost my own camera, blahblah.

I really hate life now.

Where'd you go?

I honestly think I'm reverting back to my sec3 self.

During recess.. I felt that I didn't wanna be in school. Its exactly like last year, I didn't like being at home, yet I didn't like going to school.

Besides to AGEK, I'm invisible. Purely invisible. People only come to me when they need it. Besides that, I'm like nothing.

No one waits. I wait for them, but no one does for me.

I walked behind them. I decided to slow down.. and suddenly they were gone.

I don't like school.

Slept during SS. I had no mood at all. I just wanted to shut up, I didn't wanna talk, I just wanted to be left alone. Like, let me be.

Cried during recess. I seriously don't know what's wrong with me. Atiqah thought it was cuz I was worried about the blood test I'll be taking later. Yeah I'm worried but not that much.

Stood at my fav spot (when I'm upset or just want alone time) after we went back to class- the corridor between 4I and 4E. I like that area cuz its like I see roads. And cars. And the nice clear blue sky. Makes me think about the school day ending faster. Started crying as I watched cars go. Winteng came and talked to me, and she knew almost exactly what I was upset about.

Its not only about that, there's more girl. But thanks for talking to me.

Well, I hope that sooner or later I'll just find it stupid that I'm crying, like how you realised it.

For like the first few mins of Emath we just stood there. Lianyi called us in, then Jiaqi.

Oh yeah, did you find someone to take the hamster home for the weekend?

You know what?

I should just shut up. Shut up, keep to myself, let me be. I don't know why, but it suddenly occured to me that I don't really like company. Especially in sailing. I'd rather just be left alone now. What for talk when no one hears you? What for be there when no one sees you? What for I do ANYTHING, and no one's appreciative, or even responsive?

So what for I be there.

When I'm just fucking invisible?

Wheelchair.

Found myself sleeping on the floor yesterday cuz I collapsed after I went to turn off my room lights and had no energy to get up on my bed after 2 hours of dizzyness which caused me to be unable to sleep.

Collapsed after running 2.4 today.

Like just lay on the floor and Ker had to use her knees to support me. Jiaqi came with a wheelchair (ultimate horror!) and I got wheeled to the outside of the General Office.

Me no likey being on wheelchair cuz everyone asks/stares!

NOT FAAARNY.

Hey at least I finally got 16:38 for my 2.4 timing!

I DIDN'T STOP AT ALL WHILE RUNNING THE WHOLE 3 BLOODY ROUNDS! AHHH SUPER BIG ACHIEVEMENT!

Who's the weakling now, huh? Huh? HUHHHH?

I finally passed 2.4! Omg! And 16:38 for timing too omggg.

GIVES YOU NO REASON TO INDIRECTLY TELL ME HOW LOW MY FITNESS LEVEL IS. Even if you gotten like a better timing than me.

Had sooo much difficulty going up the stairs. Thanks Marcus and Jeremiah for carrying me up! Shit, I must've been bloody heavy. :x the most inconsiderate thing was some sec3s were watching (hi AREL!) and I told them to go up first. After a while I tried to support myself up the railings cuz I didn't want M and J to suffer. Guess what?

Someone upstairs poured icy cold water over the railings on the 3rd floor, all over my right arm.

Then I heard laughter. F***er(s)! Like wth is your problem?

Finally made it up to the 2nd floor (thank God the Humanities room is on level 2!) for Geog. Thanks lovelies for helping me go back up to get my stuff :)

Quin even piggybacked me up to the 4th floor after Geog for English! She could still say I was quite okay (weight-wise)! Thought she'd be like, "Wtf omg AHHHHH!! *collapses*"

Lipkoon kept calling me noob! Eh you NOOOOB, at least I don't do my bio drawings like a girl! ;) Mdm Loh gave me a random paper last week to copy the drawing of a flower of. Thought it was a girl's, till I flipped the paper and checked the name :x

Eileen had a huge laugh pushing me back to class then around. Grrr. Hahaha.

While talking to Mel I suddenly felt a tug on my ponytail and it was Xuanming! He started pushing me to and fro and he wanted to take me out of class to push me around (bet he would've gone super fast??!) but Mdm Loh came in the moment he pushed me out the back door. OOOPS. x)

4Endeavour has sick and horny minds! *cough* Qi *cough* Hua *coughcoughcough*! Bet Mdm Loh regretted going thru some stuff on that chapter with us HAHA.

Thanks Bryan, Atiqah, Cia and Aaron for helping me down the stairs! And no thanks to Jon for showing me how slowly I was going down by standing infront of me and doing stepups. I keeeeel you!!!!

Okay thats all. Thanks AGEK and the BITCHes for helping me/scolding me so much today! :) Cia said that this was "By far the most exciting day for us since the start of the year."

Note to self: NEVER BE ON A WHEELCHAIR IN SCHOOL AGAIN.

AH MOM WANTS TO TAKE ME FOR A BLOOD TEST TOMORROW SHIT MY WORST NIGHTMARE!!!

The last time she told me that she wanted to do so to confirm if I had hyperthyroids or something worse, I had the same nightmare of needles for 3 nights straight!!!

Trypanophobia:
- The extreme and irrational fear of medical procedures involving injections or hypodermic needles.

p.s. Of all the sailors that asked me if I was okay today..

.. Only 4 of them were sec4s, and a hell lot of them were the juniors.

Cuz you and I both loved.

Talk about not getting a good sleep.

After smsing Jack till like 12plus yesterday especially about sailing stuffs (thanks so much for giving me a listening ear dude!), I couldn't sleep till 1AM? First time in a while that I cried so much. Haha. When I finally got to sleep, I woke up at 3AM, then 4AM, and 5.20AM when Ker smsed me. I was so energy-less that I found it tiring to walk from the kitchen to my room.

Worse still I was almost late for school (met Aaron on the way. You just HAD to tug my ponytail right D:) so we had to run. Ker asked me if I wanted to sit down halfway during the national anthem, cuz she said I was swaying back and forth or something? Didn't realise it.

Felt so lethargic during Chem that while Mr Lim talked to us, I slept. Starting to enjoy Chem lessons tho! Hahaha. Amazing no?

But I definitely felt much better during recess cuz of Eileen.


I didn't enjoy being at sailing.

No actually, I did, only cuz of my juniors. Feel that I'm much closer to them now? Love them!!! :D thanks guys for always cheering me up whenever you guys deem me as upset.

Infact, I feel like I'm only going to sailing cuz I HAVE to.

Can't take the fact that I'm faking how happy I am there. Geez.

Gone were the days I used to enjoy sailing because of the sec4s..

This is so much like in sec3, when I cried after most sailing sessions (how dramatic can I get?) cuz I hated being there due to conflicts. But naturally things got better and the our batch was still as close as ever.

Its weird that I'm saying this.. but I'm so envious of the sec4 drama people cuz they're now so close, especially before their SYF.

Walking back to class after getting food and Milo (which I spilled all over the floor) for Lit remedial, all the sailing juniors who met me on the way back were all saying "Hi", coming to disturb and talk to me.

How often do the sec4s do that when they see me now?

I hate being treated like I'm invisible, even by my own classmate who's a sailor. But no, I'm actually used to being treated as invisible by them, especially certain people. Last year AND this year.

Ker was like, "Your juniors are very nice and friendly to you hor."

I said, "I feel that I'm closer to my juniors this year."

"Its alright what. There's no problem in that."

Then I told her, "Well, you'd naturally want to enjoy the last year of being in your CCA with your batch, and be close to each other what."

Ah SUCKS. Now I feel like crying wth.

Very tempted to delete that folder. VERY.
But I still think I can't. Not yet, at least.


If I treasure and appreciate you, I will do things I hate doing.

So.. yeah. Don't take me for granted too. Or I will hate your ass for life.

I know I am, but what are YOU?

I still miss the days I used to sit with the sec4s last year everyday. Looking at us now I sometimes can't believe we used to be that close really. Juniors can even tell me during camp, "I really admire you guys last year lor.. so close.."

I really wanna spend recesses with them again. Kinda sucks to think that I'm not as close to them. Miss them but ah the heck.

Sucks to go to a CCA when the people you're close to are the people you talk to least now. I feel bad for losing my temper so often nowadays. I really don't know whats gotten into me, but my temper span is damn short now. But I knew I wasn't PMS-ing.


Mundane school days kill my brain cells.

Taking my Lit test with the absentees outside class was really comforting. We sat outside and I was at the corridor between 4I and 4E, so if I stared straight it was the nice cloud-ful blue sky. :)

Omg I've such a weakness for skies!
Especially starry and cloudy skies! :D


Think my social life is affecting me a lot towards how I am at home cuz I'm becoming like last year where I dread coming home cuz I just shut myself out but yet I dread going to school where I don't feel like talking to anyone.

Till now.

Library photos overdued by a TAD bit :x

Guess who?

Forgot what it says.. think its "I love Nino"?

SOMEONE. I NEED A CAMERA OR I'LL DIE REALLY SOON OMG.


I'm should be awarded like the Best (Online) Multitasker of the Day.

Jooked on BoA's Look Who's Talking and Eat You Up. Damn, I should be pro-Korean-songs when it comes to BoA. But oh well, fans will be fans! Have been one since pri4. :)

Ah my head's going nuts just hunting the webpage of that shop I found the pair of Acid Washed Shorts on! SHOULD'VE JUST PLACED THE ORDER WHEN I SAW IT! Saves me the trouble of finding it now. Its a backorder somemore! Well, lesson learnt.

Contemplating if I should wear an ankle guard to school.

At most.. shall wear it after sailing tomorrow? Damn, don't even know if I CAN sail. Doesn't really matter, interschools is in (wtf I don't know why but I suddenly typed "3 months!" out of nowhere. FAT HOPE, IF INTERSCHOOLS IS IN 3 MONTHS EVERYONE WILL REJOICE) 1 week!


I really don't know how much longer I can take this! Be it blood boiling, or just being plain wtf, I really can't lie to myself anymore.

Just don't know how I'm gonna put this across.

Maybe.. I should just stop thinking "What if-?" whenever I start to, and stop letting things I do remind me of anything.. anything at all.

My mind needs a break.. a freaking long break.....

But now's not the time.

Do I hear a tinge of jealousy in your voice?

I'm the stupidest person in the world! Hahaha.

Can't believe I thought school STARTS at 9.20AM today, cuz it ENDS at 9.20! So, so, so darn freakin' stupid! Thanks to that I missed 2 periods of Lit, wth?

But I've been feeling pretty light-headed. Ugh. Gonna study, study, study! later on.

I sprained my right ankle 3 times in less than 2 hours. Damn its like, I sprained it after Linjie's birthday BBQ. The next day it was fine so I went for the regatta, but when I squatted down to take my lifejacket there was a sudden sharp pain and I was screaming like mad. The guys were laughing and telling me, "Walao your ankle like that still wanna sail ah!" as I painfully limped on the bus :(:(:(

Getting off the bus, I sprained it one more time. Rigging up my boat, I sprained it another time! How awesome can I get.

And it was pure torture during the regatta omg. Every time I tacked and jybed, my ankles kept hurting like !#%$!@%Y^!!!!!!! when I have to reposition my legs. :(


Okay I must thank Mrs Sidhu for all her attitude talks during camps!

During the first race, I had a bad start. But just changing my mindset and thinking more positively, and asking myself questions like: "Gwen do you want to maintain or catch up?" and telling myself "Your only option is to catch up" and, "You must only maintain or catch up now!!" after I caught up worked!

It worked so well I caught up with more than 10 boats :D

Except at the finishing me and Dylan from TKSS went to the wrong mark, JASON LA. HIS POWERBOAT! He was trying to get this byte (with no one in it o___o) that was stuck to to mark out. So the blue mark couldn't be seen :(

The race with the light wind, same mindset except more positive and I remained so still my right leg cramped up, but I was 10th on the first lap/round :D just kept focusing on the red mark and nothing else. But the second upwind I lost my focus cuz Wenfeng kept distracting me on the downwind.. so yeah :(

BUT I STILL FINISHED 16TH!
In light wind thats a big feat to me ^_^ so.. YAY MEEE!!


Ending off with something..

FOR FOOTBALL FANS ONLY!
Or for people who want to see (ewww) Christiano Ronaldo kiss a ball.

This video listed so many Arsenal players! Nasri (in the video he was still a player for Marseille), Vela, Walcott, Fabregas, V. Persie, Denilson, don't know whether to be happy they listed Bendtner tho.

Nasri after Walcott, 3:34. Starts off with him praying before a match! Which he always does. He's Muslim and its so cool he doesn't mind showing that. 4:21- FABREGASSSSS

I'm starting to like Torres too. Its so cute that he tattooed the date he first met/kissed his girlfriend slash fiancee Olalla on his leg in roman numbers!! AHHHH SO CUTE.


[EDIT]

Wth just as I finished this post, I put down my laptop to watch Little People, Big World on Discovery Travel and Living, THEN THE SHOW ENDED. Unluckyyyyy!!

[/EDIT]

Cuz I don't know about today.

Supposed to be over at Linjie's place now for his birthday BBQ. Honestly, it slipped my mind since I have visitors at home now. Bryan called and asked if I was already coming over and I was like OH SHIT. I haven't even gotten him a present yet! Wenfeng and his class already got him a present and Quinnie and Aaron didn't tell me so now I'm kinda stuck.


Tho I have a pretty good mind on what I wanna get him. Hmm.

Think I'll give Celine a ring and see if she wants to go down to AMK Hub with me. A little bit of walking does no harm, does it?

And my dad tried to 'compensate' for his mood yesterday. I hate it when he does that. Like whenever he flares up at me cuz he's moody, he'll make up for it by getting me something. Today he called me in the morning and suddenly asked about the Nike water bottle I wanted, which I never told him about, I only told Mom. He never gets me anything branded unless I literally beg him for it. Whatev. Can't be bothered.


Watched The Wow Factor with my mom just now and it suddenly occured to me that our first reaction was: "The woman is so much bigger sized than her husband!"

Then it occured to me that, most Singaporeans are like that, no?

Like, we descriminate by size. "You're so fat and so, you're ugly. You disgust meeee."

Credits to killerxkate on Devart.

I think girls go thru so much torture! Once you're too fat, you're a 'goner', and at least fat guys don't find it so much of a chore to shop for clothing cuz all they need to do is get a bigger size and they might not look fat. Girls? Totally not the case.

And see, fat girls get anorexia cuz people say they're fat, and they get affected by that sentence. Googled and got this: Karen Carpenter (musician): Went on a water diet to lose weight and, ... Ana Carolina Reston: Brazilian model, starved herself to death in 2006. ...

And a model (who was skinny) went on an apple and tomato diet and died!

Okay so girls have a problem too. Hmm.

I guess its okay to be big-sized, unless you're unhealthily fat. Like, some people are born big-sized. What do you expect them to do about that? Idiots are the guys who call girls fat. That's honeslty the last thing you'd wanna call a girl! So guys, don't go around calling your girlfriends fat, or you'll never know what will happen next.

*dramatic piano piece plays*


Love the silly footballer who flies whenever he scores a goal tho! x) and his cute hair which he used to have. Sadly.

SAMIR NASRI IS THE LURRRRRRRVE.