When life gets you down, eat a bowl of chicken soup udon with meat balls.

I'm serious. I was unhappy and decided that instead of spaghetti for my usual spaghetti Sundays (I eat spaghetti every Sunday night for dinner), I wanted to drink soup. With meat balls.. and udon.

I love meat balls. So far my most favourite food maybe, because I eat it every night with soup. My Mom says I shouldn't be so concerned with my weight, and tells everyone who asks why I eat so little that I'm on a diet. Oh well, not as if I have much of an appetite since last year to begin with.

Not having a camera for so long now has been making me feel.. as if I were claustrophobic. Seeing others getting better in what I love makes me feel useless.

But Zahra jiejie told me good news that Nadya jiejie has a lot of Lomo cameras. She listed at least 5 models and said there were some more that she forgot about. Some of the Lomo cameras, Nadya jiejie took to Melbourne with her. But some are still in Singapore, and Zahra jiejie told me that I could play with them if I wanted to.


The winds today are more or less satisfying to my skin. Namely, the supposed blood test tomorrow getting me nervous. I don't know what to expect, "ant bite" might not be how I feel. Planning to bring a blindfold and my iPod.

Told Aaron I wanted to watch a movie with the sec4 sailors. Surprisingly, it took me a while to realise I want to find who the trues are. Perhaps they slipped my mind as much as I slipped back into oblivion, or perhaps I just decided to shut them off one point of time. But Zahra jiejie told me that secondary school is where you make the friends that you'll most prolly be with for life, for you will never make the same bonds you will make now for.. ever.


I want to find myself. (My udon's getting cold)

This is very in depth for me, but I presume that I lost myself somewhere. Anywhere. Its taking me a while, but I'm finally starting to see results. No longer am I seeing myself in a bad light, okay fine I still am but I am taking things lightly now. I am who I am, what others change will not change me.

Talked to Zahra jiejie in her car after the James Hill and Anne Davison concert, while eating the Whopper burger I ordered at the East Coast Burger King drive-thru with her. Never experienced sitting in a car that isn't moving for an hour under my block just because we were enjoying a drive-thru meal. She heard me out as I spoke, and understood how it is because someone very dear to the both of us is experiencing what I am going thru now.

Breaking the Code of Cousin (or so she calls it) made her angry. Nadya jiejie too. Its not a nice feeling to know that the two people I respect and love a lot in my life are both either so busy teaching at a secondary school or far, far away in Melbourne. Nevertheless Nadya jiejie made me laugh at her Facebook mail. Both of them had the same reaction to the situation but oh well, it comforted me knowing I can always turn to them for teenagerly advice (tho they are no longer teenagers, more of very young at heart) or just someone to talk to.


It is hard for loved ones of the people who suffer from depression, because they have no idea what to do to help. As much as they want to help, they can't. Therefore they take the "Can you just snap out of it??!" approach. This, is definitely not the right way to do things. People with depression are helpless, as much as they want to snap out of it, they can't. They feel that they are trying their best, but why can no one see that?

People do not step into the shoes of theirs and see things in their P.O.V. They get shunned and for what? Being in something they have no absolute control of? They lose friends in the process but why? Helpless with their situation and no one to turn to.. how can ANYONE expect them to recover from their current isolated state?

Though, I've stopped wallowing in self-pity and realised that doing things that I love best is the only thing I should do whenever something gets me down.

I want to find myself, I want to be true and whole again.

Starting from people I've hurt in the process of losing myself would be a good thing.


Which reminds me, I need to find someone to accompany me for my blood test. I don't want to go alone, I suppose I will freak out. Can I tell my Mom that I refuse to go?

I don't want to find out the results either cuz I don't want to be put on medication and pills and whatever they will throw at hyperthyroids patients. Then going back for a bloody blood test a year or so later to see if the thyroid gland is in control or something? Thank goodness I'm only suspected of hyperthyroids and nothing else more serious, but hyperthyroids alone can get someone really down due to what it does to you.

Chinese O's

Just found out that someone in the UK asked if she could use my Fairground photo in my DA for her book cover. Quite surprised actually. It was taken sooooo long ago. Nevertheless happy, of course. DA's also having a promotion for prints.

Chinese O's tomorrow -- VERY nervous of course!

Also nervous (damn nervous I tell you) for the blood test my mom wants to bring me for tomorrow after the papers. Shit, I totally will just run away. Got so scared just thinking about it already.. yucks.

Finally going to the arcade one day after it with Aaron, Quinnie and prolly Wenfeng tho. Kept thinking of Drummania today during tuition.

Shittiest Camera Quality ever seen

Ms Ham's Farewell by Band 4 Chinese students-

Our gift to her -- an MFSS uniform set with our broken Chinese.
We didn't use dictionary therefore all the hanyu pinyin and English words.

:) band 4 ROCKS!

Check it outtttttttt, Bryan wrote in the gonghan/sihan ge shi!
Yeah you're definitely gonna pass your Chinese O's.

Asked Zhenyang to help us take a Polaroid and it was blur!

I am thankful that XM and WJ didn't do funny things behind me and Sylvie, haha.


A Polaroid I took later at night before going for James Hill and Anne Davison's Ukulele and Cello concert was also very blur. Is there something wrong with Caleb, my dearest Polaroid?

Ker's birthday celebration-

Zebra bikini with a cake for a stomach.

To Cia: Haha see I'm not the only one who does The Pout!
(Le Pout, must make it more atas. Heehee.)

Lovelies.

The shittiest camera quality I have ever seen. Perhaps now I regret even more that I bought the Nokia E-63. Should've bought Sony Ericsson, no?

More photos of the two days coming up soon.. getting photos from LimLim (Limyen) after Chinese O's and prolly Cia for Ker's birthday.


James Hill & Anne Davison's ukulele and cello concert yesterday night at the DBS Auditorium was awesome! He reminds me of Jason Mraz, in terms of personality and charismatic. Whatever he says just makes the audience laugh, and his playing was so awesome that you had no idea a ukulele could actually be more impressive than the pint, miniature thing it seems like.




Did you know? Ukulele is not pronounced you-ke-ley-li but pronounced oo-koo-leh-ley.

Didn't know that. James Hill said that most people pronounce it wrongly.

One part of the performanced that I liked a lot was the segment where he put a chopstick in the middle of his ukulele's strings, and used the other to hit the strings with as he and Anne played. Damnnnnn good.



It should be this video.. Youtube's not loading it for I don't know what reason why.

Also, he managed to make the sounds of a drum using his ukulele, like the base. He combined them all together to make it sound like he was playing a drum. Then he added in the ukulele tune and it was as if there were 2 people playing instead of one -- one playing a drum and the other a ukulele.

I believe why I enjoyed this so much was because he and Anne were really enjoying THEMSELVES as they played, showing their love for their instruments.

Zahra jiejie is taking up the ukulele. Think I might consider that too, or take up the drums, guitar or piano again after the O's. Taking hip hop again is a must, of course. But this time I will be transferring to another school, doubt it'll be AoM again. Should be going to O School or Studio Wu. O School prefferably.

Blind

I totally love Jonghyun oppa, Taeminie, Minho and Nichkhun Horvejkul (of 2PM).
I am digging SHINee now. And Wooyoung of 2PM too! Epic dance.

This is what Youtube can do to you.

Assumption is the worst/best policy -- Depending on how you see it

"Real friends don't make you sad. They make your day better, not worsen it." -B


I don't have a right (or any at all) to call a person something I deem, but as of right now my mindset is as such. I honestly ponder what roams deep in her mind time and time again, or what she really thinks as she speaks. Does she say one thing and mean the other or does what she do really reflect who she is?

The kind of person you are is determined by your actions.


Sometimes, you have to lead by example. No point asking someone to do something you yourself are reluctant to do.

N-A-T-O. Spell it.
"NO ACTION TALK ONLY"

Yes, we learn phrases like this from Ms Ham during Chinese. Also,
身体力行.

To assume, might not be the best policy right now.

Like Dad always says-
"When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me."


Walking around Hub with Alex and chatting with her about things in life right now made me realise how cruel this world is. Full of backstabbing and bitching that we most certainly cannot avoid. It comes and goes like how the wind blows, yet we can't seem to grasp what is wrong with this.

I'm seeing things from a different perspective and taking things in a new light right now.

To be honest, I would have a lot more to say, but this is when B's words come into prospect. "We chi kui (yes I finally spelt the hanyu pinyin as KUI and not QUI!) a bit lor.."

Like how she learns values from Mr. A, I'm learning values from her. Honestly becoming more patient too. No matter what, I will still be myself -- it just depends whether I want to or not.

No one but B understands how it's like at home, and why no one else knows is cuz no one else bothered hearing me out, dissing me off when I try. So I appreciate the fact that B heard me out, let me explain why my behaviour is sometimes so revolting. Said so herself, now that she knows whats going on at home, she understands why I'm so dependent and yearn for attention from my friends. (Yes, I am admitting that I like to seek attention from friends because of the neglect I feel back at home)

Well, I'm thankful for someone like Alex, too!

Thanks for introducing to me the durian currypuffs. Can't believe I found another girl who loves durians as much as me, true durian fanatics!

I feel that the only people in my life are A, B, C, C, and D.


C messaged me and told me he was at AMK Hub, but I didn't see the text till half an hour later when I got home! SO SORRY. How come I didn't see a bunch of Hwa Chong guys walking around!



Love my natural curls!


p.s. I might move to my private blog for a while. Might post short updates here too tho. I need to sort out my feelings.

Wake up ALARM

Who are you exactly?

This isn't real anymore. Its actually suffocating to play two roles. You've got Comedy and Tragedy.

It was once honest and direct. So now its a game behind backs?
Leave me out of this, tired of the drama you're implicating.

Arshavin is the hotness

I love my phone!

Mainly cuz when I am in Personal Mode, its a nice wallpaper of Nasri.


When I switch to Business Mode, its a nice wallpaper of Arshavin!!


(Okay no now both are pictures of Arshavin. The new one's below. Oops.)

BUT THIS PHOTO IS CUTE, ISN'T IT!!

I am such a fan girl.

I don't know why, but I actually wanna go see Liverpool at their Asia tour!
No I'm not a L.Pool fan, supporter maybe - but not fan.

WHY CAN'T ARSENAL COME TO SINGAPORE FOR AN ASIA TOUR TOO???! I would totally go camp overnight to buy their tickets. My maroon loverrrrrs.

By the way, I just got a hell lot of pictures of Arshavin (from only 5 pictures of him to 57!), all ready to be uploaded into my phone. He honestly has too many cute stuffs -- modeling photos too!




And yeah, all from the Facebook fanpage of his. I shall thank Facebook, for it has given me many pictures of Arshavin and Nasri. *ommmmmmmmmm*


----------------------------------
Went out with Celine today. Was initially supposed to be a shopping trip, but we both ended up buying nothing but food and bubble tea.

And a backpack each! We both bought the same design. Which is damn cool, cuz we like so many of the same things, have the same style, and aren't afraid to show it.

Some things we had/have which are/were EXACTLY the same:
Sony Ericsson Walkman phone, Sony T200 camera (we bought bought the same model and color without knowing), specticles, shorts, shirts! A lot more actually, just can't recall. And now same backpack. Truly am happy around her (and Rach!).

Using my backpack for school tomorrow. Its only 18bucks. Beats getting my lovely 56bucks Billabong backpack dirty.


We had this long chat. She was talking about her friend and was like,

"In this whole world, there's not only you. Just because you have this, doesn't mean other people don't have it. In Singapore alone there is a total of 4million people. The factories don't produce that one piece of clothing SPECIALLY for you, many others have it too, just that you don't see it. So what for you think its yours?"

Hearing that, I added in, "Unless you're buying some expensive 2000bucks-a-piece clothing. Then again, there might even be TWO pieces of it."

And she was like, "Everyone has their own style, it just depends on how you present it. You get your style from others too what. So what for you think you're the ONLY one with that style??"

We both agree that

"The world is free to buy whatever you bought too, no?"

True, isn't it?

Meeting her and Rach hopefully this Friday or Saturday for stress-relief -- movies, shopping and book-shopping.

Getting that Topshop shirt I set my eyes on. Took a photo of myself in it and even my Mom said it was nicer than the Uniqlo one, so I'm assuming its the green light to go ahead and buy it.


Right now, my right leg is hurting like.. crap.
You know, like when there's too much wind, old people's legs hurt? That problem?

And my parents are finally seeing how important it is to bring me for a full checkup.

Or at least, they realised it after my Immunity Consultant told my Mom that having trembling hands (I kept getting it as I wrote, before MYEs and especially of late) and eyes that dart to directions you didn't intend it to turn to are all symptoms of hyperthyroids.

Better to find out if I really have it and get it treated. Mhmm.

My headache's getting worse again. UGH.

Goodnight all.



p.s. OH MY GOD. I JUST FOUND THIS ONLINE.

OKAY MOM, BRING ME FOR THE CHECKUP ASAP PLEASE!

Because the body's metabolism is increased, patients often feel hotter than those around them and can slowly lose weight even though they may be eating more. The weight issue is confusing sometimes since some patients actually gain weight because of an increase in their appetite. Patients with hyperthyroidism usually experience fatigue at the end of the day, but have trouble sleeping. Trembling of the hands and a hard or irregular heartbeat may develop. These individuals may become irritable and easily upset. When hyperthyroidism is severe, patients can suffer shortness of breath, chest pain, and muscle weakness (oh gosh. Remember after 2.4 that day I couldn't walk because my legs were too weak?!). Usually the symptoms of hyperthyroidism are so gradual in their onset that patients don't realize the symptoms until they become more severe. This means the symptoms may continue for weeks or months before patients fully realize that they are sick.

New phone blues

Blogging with my phone right now.

It feels very weird, like I have to get used to this keypad.. Don't know how people can stand this. Its so small it kills my eyes. Suddenly, I realised I should've stuck with singtel and gotten an iphone.

Nevertheless, a beautiful red and black phone it is! just have to get used to the fact that my bro's hogging the laptop now with Yeowloong now and this is a good way of getting me acquainted with this bloody keypad..

To the lonely and only to the lonely

World is a vicious place where turning against people occurs almost too often to be noticed.

Sometimes its thinner than water, no?

There are some things I don't understand, won't be able to understand and will never understand. Well, be thankful for what I have and strive for what I don't. Whatever it may be, life comes and goes -- ups and downs, typical rollercoaster ride. Tho the only rollercoaster I've ever taken was at Genting.

Whatever I wanted to blog was forgotten when anger overcame me.
Parents, parents, parents.

I want Butter Cookies again. Mhmm.

Thanks C, you are one amazingly funny friend.


------------------------------------------
Going to Tampines 1 to get those two checkered shirts. I don't care!

$49.90 from Uniqlo, $69.90 from Topshop.

100bucks gone like that. Think I will get the Topshop one first. Was so happy cuz I saw Kenley wear it on Project Runway and I was like "Omg I love that top." and when I walked around Tampines 1 alone I saw it and was very.. squealy.

Was intending to print my stuff today and get my new phone but my parents wanted to wait for ROADSHOWWWWW.

Nokia E-63, Nokia E-63!
Must. Not. Change. Mind. Anymore.

Stick to it G, stick to it! Get it and push back your plans for a camera till after O's, or at least after Prelims. I miss Cammie x100000xxxxxxxoxoxoxoxoxoxo! How are you doing in Thailand, dearie?

Night sky with little stars

Not good.. not good.

Some things I never appreciated, I used to wish I never had, things I never had even.. I wish I had them all now. Not only last year or something, but even years back as a kid. Things I threw aside which I deeply regret, I just can't elaborate how much regret I feel.

That aside, thanks D and Cheryl.
Mhmm, do what I want with my life. Who's there to stop me? (cough) Them. (cough)

Note to self: Time to start searching the 8.1 billion people on Facebook for a new friend. LOL. Thanks ah D. =.= and the b!! THE BBBBB!!!! CAN'T BELIEVE ITS STILL MISSING AFTER MONTHS. * will be sad if she finds out its gone.. oh goodness.


p.s. I CAN kill. Don't forget, I am part of two secret 'families'.. evil laugh.

(goes onto Facebook, Mob Wars. *starts hitlisting people*.)

There ain't no sunshine when she goes

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.
It's not warm when she's away.
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And she's always gone too long anytime she goes away.

Wonder this time where she's gone,
Wonder if she's gone to stay
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And this house just ain't no home anytime she goes away.

-- parts of the song Ain't No Sunshine, by Bill Withers.


Watching American Idol. Aw, Kris is such a heartthrob.

You just gotta love this performance of Kris in the Top 3 -- a cover of Heartless by Kanye West. I thought it sounded better than the original.



3 hours+ of Chinese lessons every day for one week.. I think I can pretty much take it.
Infact, I'm enjoying it. Thanks to people like Alex and Jani.. also Wenjie (Bitch no. 1!) and Xuanming. they're just too fun(ny). Especially glad to have Alex in the same bands as me for English and Chinese.

1st period till recess today -- Chinese.

Should've seen how dead we were.

I ended up drawing this whenever I didn't have any notes to jot down.

Besides that, I hate school now. Contemplated skipping school today again tho I didn't have a headache. I hate going to school and seeing people, I hate seeing blah and whatever.

Drew this during Chinese remedial after school, very ugly.. yes. Those in pencil were Alex's.
I'm stupid, now I can't see my own notes I took down during the SS mass lecture..

Joke of the day:
"他写这封信的墓地"

Ms Ham told us she marked a sec1's script, and he wrote that cuz he just copied it out of the dictionary! We laughed like mad in class when we saw that I tell you. Cuz 墓地 means "graveyard".

So, it literally means, "He wrote this letter's graveyard". Okay fine English translations don't make it funny.

Its funny how the unexpected people are the ones who cheer you up when you are moody.
A little hello, a little wave. A word of concern and an expression that they're there for you.


I was so blur after school today.

Was walking out of school when some of the NCC guys were infront of me. Winston was there too and he waved hi to me. I don't know why, but I was kinda in disbelief that he was saying hi to me, so I just looked at him. He turned away to say bye to the uncle, and I turned to look if someone was behind me, but there was no one. I said bye to the uncle too, and then Winston turned back to wave at me again. This time it was obviously me cuz, THERE WAS NO ONE BEHIND ME. So I smiled and waved back.

I don't know why, but that kinda cheered me up a little.

My phone just went nuts again and I'm receiving the messages I received in the pass few hours. There's one I can't removed as my 'read' mail.

But I love that message, from Zahra jiejie.

"Don't despair. There's much of the world to see and experience still. Much music to celebrate and dance too. Remember to 'work like you don't need the money (or grades), love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one's watching'."

I love my cousin.
And she's bringing me out for a concert again. Either that or Much Ado About Nothing.


If you love something, set it free; if it comes back it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was.

Will you be my shelter till its done?

Just came back from the H3 performance by Grupo de Rua at the Victoria Theatre Hall.

Am I the only one who found it interesting and wasn't actually falling asleep half the time? Intrigued by their light-play, which made the last few scenes two times more interesting.

At the starting, they were taunting each other, battling each other and using clowning (yes, clowning is a term in hip hop) + tutting + almost-bboy on a street. The scene had no music, and I guess no one really understood that it was a street battle.

A bit boring cuz it was music-less, but what the heck, to co-ordinate with your fellow dancers in a music-less scene is skill and a lot of practice, no?

There was bboy and tutting and locking! -- OH LOCKING ESPECIALLY -- throughout the whole performance. The parts where they used their hands and legs to 'walk' on the floor, ran backwards, were all bboy. So much locking! And robotics. I thought that the dancers had pretty good isolation skills.

Should be more "freestyle" than hip hop genre. Not "freestyle dancing", but freestyle as in not-only-hip-hop genre. Like the Japanese crew Coolmint? They do freestyle hip hop.

It wasn't just your average hip hop performance. I mean, a hip hop performance which didn't use music half the time? You can see how much effort the dancers put in, and how the choreographer choreographed the moves..

Okay, enough of my thoughts.


I tried to build up enough courage to talk to my mom today when I got home.

Apparently my headache stopped me. It was quite bad on the way home and I felt like the time I had a migrane/headache so bad I couldn't come to school for 4 days.

I know whats causing my headaches now, I guess.

But I can't pick up enough courage to tell my mom what has been going thru my mind recently. I mean, imagine your daughter comes home one day telling you she has suicidal thoughts? My mom would prolly think she's failed as a mother, and my dad would just think I'm sprouting nonsense, as he always thinks I am.

Nevertheless, I need to talk to her soon. I will, eventually.
I don't want anyone to think I will be like last year, after the b with *.

I still remember- this one time, me and Lianyi were joking in class (when we still sat together) with Nic C. and Bryan. I laughed damn heartily and Bryan said, "Hey Gwen, I've not heard you laugh like that for a long time. Nor smiled like this."

"Really? I don't think so." was what I told him.
"Yeah, really. You've not been yourself these past few months -- very upset and emo."


That aside, I finally have a folder set aside for pictures of Arshavin!
(he's my second husband, if you haven't gotten any idea yet.)

Perfect, ain't he.

A cute photo of his wife (they're not lawfully married, but he considers her his wife) Julia/Yulia, and his second child Artyom! Artyom looks pretty much like Arshavin, doesn't he? I want to see a picture of their first child -- a girl.

I feel that I'm starting to like Arshavin more, which is wrong!

Nasri will always be my one and only.
Well, maybe cuz recently I've been seeing more Arshavin on the field than Nasri.. so.. um.. (guilty.)


p.s. Just because I do badly in your subject, DOES NOT MEAN that you can use me as a medium to gauge how bad or well your students are doing. "You got lower than Gwen, its not a laughing matter." my mood just totally sank cuz I didn't believe you would say this kind of thing about me.

You're so yesterday

Please don't stop the rain

Arsenal is selling Adebayor. They finally got too fed up with his lack of commitment in the game. Guess we should be happy? Or sad.


"YOU'RE NOT A FAILURE."

Looking at the sentence I wrote in my student's diary today after getting back my results.. Its a bit hard to agree with it.

I need to stop being distracted by whatever, family, friends and so on. Just feel like shutting myself out from everyone for a few months to concentrate. Doesn't harm anyone, does it? Suddenly, I just want to be an introvert. I want to sit alone in class. I want to study!!


We got H3 tickets for tomorrow. Was so excited that we got that that I started twirling myself around in the computer lab like what my brother is doing infront of me now, and going, "WE GOT H3 YESSSS YESSSS YAAAAAY!".

BUT I'VE NOT BOUGHT THAT TOP FROM TOPSHOP/UNIQLO THAT I WANT TO WEAR ON THE OUTSIDE!

I really am starting to wonder what life is about.. and I'm getting very, very tired of life.

Can't let myself to be like last year like what Cheryl says. Cedric's telling me I can scream or shout at him over the phone if I want to. Aw so nice! But I'm not that mean, haha. If he didn't talk to me today I think I will be even more upset than I am now. Can't wait for the next Arsenal vs. Man U match, he's like the most awesome person to talk to during matches! Besides Don, that is.

Feeling really depressed. Think I got lowest in class for a lot of subjects already.

My parents are seriously not helping.


Okay, back to reading blogs from my list in Bloglovin'.

For keepsakes

My childhood was a rather pretty one, what am I getting myself into now?

NASRI JUST GOT YELLOW-CARDED!

I BLOODY HATE THE REFEREE. NOW I AM PISSED.
So first my Mom makes me upset. Now the referee pisses me off?? Ugh!

He yellow-carded Arshavin, then Fabregas (was too upset to watch so I got updates from Cedric.. only when they got yellow carded.) for challenging Evra. But hey, Evra called Arsenal babies! Now he's getting so scared when Arsenal is going full out on him, marking him like mad.

Go Gunners!!! Bloody biased referee so gonna get cursed to hell.

p.s. "THE WHOLE FIELD LOOKS LIKE A TRAFFIC LIGHT! Got green, yellow and red!" -Cedric

Haha you're funny, you.

Daughter to Mother- or maybe not as much.

Just found my 2008 SC cert and my 2009 SLB cert.

Aw how much I miss the Tehbing Gang.

I remember Yokeching saying Derick or someone wrote on the SC Room's whiteboard: "Don't worry, SCs will always be SCs", and we were talking about how sad that moment was to us.


I'm just really depressed to be home now.


Mothers' Day.. sometimes I think, who cares?


They don't respect me and my decisions, they don't bother understanding me, they make fun of the things I plan to make my future career, they mock me. In WHAT WAY do they even deserve my respect as a daughter?

Judge me if you may, but only when you really understand will you know why I feel this way.

What are parents when they don't spend time with their kids? What are parents who spend every free time of theirs with other people besides their kids?

I'm tired of being the neglected one.

I dont know where I crossed the line
Was it something that I said
Or didn't say this time?

And I don't know if it's me or you
But I can see the skies are changing
No longer shades of blue
I don't know which way it's gonna go

And if it's going to be a rainy day
Theres nothing we can do to make it change
We can pray for sunny weather
But that won't stop the rain

You're feeling like you've got no place to run
I can be your shelter til it's done
We can make this last forever
So please don't stop the rain

Let it fall, let it fall, let it fall
Please don't stop the rain
Let it fall, let it fall, let it fall
Please don't stop the rain

I thought that time was on our side
I've put in far too many years
To let this pass us by

You see life is crazy thing
There'll be good times
And there'll be bad times
And everything in between
And I don't know which ways it's gonna go


I love this song.

James Morrison is a talented singer, and I agree with a comment that I saw that said "All JMs are awesome singers" (in this case the person was refering to Jason Mraz and James Morrison for their song Details in the Fabric).

I realise I need to go shopping for books. I need more books to read.

Gonna clean up my room, especially my study table. Rearrange some stuff (sadly my furniture is all glued to the wall, they can't move) and clear my wardrobe. My amazingly... empty.. wardobe. Hm. After watching Project Runway Season 3, that is.

Alison Kellyis so pretty!

This is the first time I took over 3 hours to finish my lunch -- and no I'm not actually finished yet. Still a few more spoonfuls.

Truth be told..

What's the point of saying "I love you" to someone when it only causes problems in the end?

Who am I trying to kid.

Really shouldn't have suddenly talked or whatever about the past. Yeah it made me smile, made me laugh, but now that no one's around and exams are over, my mind is just wandering free. I mean, it would be/was fine when I had people around me but now I'm just.. in pain.

Suddenly thinking of a song I've not heard in months made me cry.
Stupid.

Bottle up our love, throw it out to sea

Love is colder than death -- love that song.

Image overload, been reading too many fashion blogs all too recently. Finally cleared a few old tees out of my closet -- only to have my Mom take them away for her own use to sleep/for my brother. Even those that are too small for me. "I'm smaller than you!"-Mom. Joke. To be honest, she looked like a woman desperate for clothes.

If we compare closets, hers has at least 40x more clothing than mine. Its so full that to dig out one piece of clothing.. its actually kinda hard. Should snap a photo one day to prove to her that I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

Last paper tomorrow, heaving a sigh of relief.

Been having a very bad headache ever since the physical geog paper today. Thank you Jingru for the Panadol. Class was filled with an atmosphere of chaos, tho technically there were only 14 people in class (we only have 14 pure geog students from 4E).

Till now my headache hasn't went away! In a sense its telling me to sleep earlier, no?

Might be having lunch with Alex and Gah tomorrow to treat ourselves. They want Swensens my gosh. This Sunday its shopping with my mom/alone and Kbox with girlfriends.

Been reflecting today, and realised that I have a lot to apologize for. So to those etched in my mind whom I feel have a word to say to, I'm sorry I've been a jerk these few months. Nevertheless it takes a lot for one to admit they are at fault, which I am at. Thats for you mate.

They're talking about Arsenal FC and Arsene Wenger on Football Channel now! "Arsene Wenger IS Arsenal Football Club." Couldn't agree more.

(Aw, I see a shot of Arshavin now)

By the way..
iPhone, Nokia E-71/E-63, or Sony Ericsson C510?

p.s. HAPPY SWEET 16TH, JIAQI!

Learning a lesson never felt so tiring

Taking a short break from filling in all the blank parts of my physical geog worksheet, since technically my brain cannot absorb that much at this time. (Should've realised that a few hours earlier. Sometimes it just kills to be a Chinese drama fan when all your favourite shows show from 9pm-11pm.)

Thats what I have a pair of my iPod earpieces beside me for. And iTunes!

Aw, I really wanna go shopping soon. Mom promised to bring me to the new Tampines Lot One! FINALLY. Think she sees my desperation for clothing now. Just hope that there actually is something there to get. Hope. Hmm..

Sorry if my blog posts nowadays are like.. two-liners or have been more or less mundane. Yeah thats what my life is pretty much summed up as -- boring. Absolutely. Boring. I've been telling myself not to blog unless I have the inspiration to blog or photos or something, but really I'm just such a typing junkie. Think I will change my blog to be one that is less of my personal life? Doubt anyone wants to read a whole diary (literally) entry of what happens day in day out, ei?

My iPod earpieces are gonna spoil soon on the left side. Everytime there's a beat or a base, it just makes the sound that tells me the inside of it loosened out already. Uh..

By the way, forgot to mention -- HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY JUSTIN O.! (4Endeavour's)

Wish I was a rich kid

Yay, plain rice/cabbage rice for dinner.
Me and my bro are such "fan4 tong3" (Chinese words, meaning people who always eat rice and love rice).

Right now, what I wish for is:

1. Midyears to be over.
2. A new phone.
3. Money to shop.
4. SHOES, SHOES, more SHOES!
5. CLOTHES, CLOTHES, more CLOTHES!

So envious of seaofshoes. Wish my mom was also so into what I dig, or at least doesn't mind spending like 900bucks on A pair of shoes. (keyword is "A", not "pairs")

Nevertheless, inspired to clear my closet of the old primary school clothing I still own. Mhmm I know! Stupid right, to still keep my old clothes. I feel so style-less, always teeshirt and shorts. Shall get that nice top I love from Topshop -- if I am able to. Quin now has a Topman card. Needless to say I'm jealous much! Ah. I want one tooooo.

My mouth is now watering over the smell of the soup and I have more physical geog to study now. Ugh.

Not knowing where to draw the line.. is a form of stupidity.

"Life isn't fair, Gwen."
Tell me one thing I DON'T know.

@ AMK Library

This is stupid. I'm waiting for my Geog notes to be downloaded from Commontown and here I am blogging away at the library LOL.

Studying Geog with Lover and Laogong now. Ughhh you have no idea how many things I lugged here. Was supposed to meet them at 9:45am but me and Lover ended up being late.

And I just saw Junliang here! Haha so weird to see him face-to-face rather than chatting online. Still had a nice mini chat with him. Yay he's like some lit and combined science student too just like me. Still say he never lose to me cuz we're like taking similar combinations. Minus the Geog LOL LOSER. :)

Okay finished downloading the notes already!
STUDY STUDY STUDY G! ;)

Horoscopes and Arsenal vs. Chelsea

Tomorrow. Hmm. What would life be like if....?

Yeah maybe I should stop asking myself that question right now and get back to doing my only-God-knows-how-many-pages of Geog worksheet I was in the midst of before I decided to come online and check the exam schedule.

I do realise that I will eventually reach my breaking point. Been feeling very drained since *, and hell I don't like feeling like that. Should my studies get affected, I won't feel as good but ah heck, who cares.

Well, this is something no one will understand. Well except Lover and Laogong.

Speaking of which, I'll be meeting them tomorrow! YAYNESS. But of course, meeting them at the library to study. Bringing Lappy along too cuz I need to finish up my geog notes. Yup, theoradically my doomsday is the upcoming Tuesday, cuz I have combined Chem and Geog papers then. Oh the joy.

I'm hell thankful for the Vesak Day holidays being tomorrow! Like, in-lieu.

Aunty Tun toasted for me this pizza thing my mom bought from NTUC for dinner and I stupidly ate it the moment she passed the plate to me. Exactly what I did when the yong tau foo stall aunty let me try the laksa cuz I told her I can't really take spicy but I wanted laksa.

So yeah after my tongue recovers, my upper jaw gets burnt/scalded (?)

And a bit of the skin from my upper jaw got torn off too. So it feels pretty raw and hurts when my tongue goes over that area of skin.

Looking back, I sometimes wonder what happens if things turned out differently. What if I didn't do this/that or acted the way I did then. Would things have been different? Well, only God knows. What if we didn't start out in the first place. Maybe that would've been better, huh?

But my zodiac sign tells me not to feel things like regret etc (any negatives) for it'll hinder me from bringing out my best and positive sides? Eh. How true.

I've been reading up a lot on my astrology and stuffs, cuz they've somehow been pretty accurate, especially about my characteristic. So yeah, if I'm self-centered, fiery, hot-headed, argumentative or anything else,

BLAME MY ZODIAC SIGN. ;)

Shall quote some stuff which I found.. true.
I've become a sucker for astronomy :P

And the bottom part are extracts from http://www.astrology-online.com/aries.htm:
(shall bold the parts I find true!)

Aries! About Your Sign...

-The young ram is adventurous, ambitious, impulsive, enthusiastic and full of energy. The Arian is a pioneer both in thought and action, very open to new ideas and a lover of freedom. They welcome challenges and will not be diverted from their purpose except by their own impatience, which will surface if they don't get quick results.

-They do not make very good followers because they are too "take charge". They may be unwilling to obey or submit to directions for which they can see no reason, or with which they disagree. They are much concerned with self, both positively and negatively - self-reliant but also self centered (sometimes) and concerned with their own personal advancement and physical satisfaction. Their immense energy makes them aggressive and restless, argumentative occasionally, headstrong, quick tempered, easily offended and capable of holding grudges if they feel themselves affronted.

-A negative effect of this sun sign is that you could sometimes unknowingly make it hard for others to relate to you, as you really are.

-In your personal relationships Arians are frank, direct and candid, and make enthusiastic and generous friends.

-There is, however, a negative side to your associations with other people. You can easily be irritated by slowness or moderation in your companions and, though yourselves sensitive, ride roughshod over the sensitivities of others.

-Your nature is usually push or be pushed, with little middle ground. This can at times be objectionable to others, but you must have the freedom to act, rather then just thinking about it, getting pent-up in the process. At all costs you need to avoid negative emotions such as resentment, regret and self-pity, for they would deny you what is essential to your nature: straightforwardness.

-They are quick-witted but sometimes foolhardy and over optimistic, lacking thoroughness and the ability to evaluate difficulties in the undertakings into which they often rush impulsively. The great need of Aries natives is to exercise an iron self-control, to discipline the qualities and tendencies of their character to the advantage, not the detriment, of the society in which they move.

-As an Arian, you like a challenge that will stir you to action. This challenge may just be frustration; or at a more controlled level, you may have clear direction and know what or whom you're fighting for.

-Arian, do not be afraid to be forceful, for this is the very core of your nature. If you feel fear in your heart, then look for a history of negative events in you personal history, such as violence or abuse from others. Being fearful may also indicate a household in childhood that negated independence and personal initiative in you. This could have inhibited your natural urge to go forward into life as the leader and champion you were born to be. Conversely, such bad influences could also have led you to be overly forceful, or to be unsympathetic to your own need and sensitivity.

-You make good athletes and climbers, doctors, explorers (of new ideas as well as uncharted territory, the latter in these days including adventuring into outer space), soldiers, sailors and airmen, and leaders

Possible Health Concerns...

Aries governs the head and brain, and Arians are said to be prone to headaches, particularly migraines, sunstroke, neuralgia and depression. Indigestion and nervous disorders are also threats to you, and your rashness, impetuosity and wholesale physical commitment make you liable to accidents and physical injuries.

You like extremes. Physical, emotional and mental, and benefit profoundly by experiencing them; but if your extremism goes too far beyond social acceptability, then expect to be extremely lonely.

-The color of choice for Aries is RED

I LOVE red! :D

And for fun, I went to read up on something else-

Aries thrive on excitement and challenge. Cancer thrives on security, and has very sensitive feelings. Take a lot of control on the part of Aries not to trample all over Cancer's feelings. Cancer will need to be more vigorous in participating in Aries schemes and dreams. This is also a good business combination as both are cardinal signs, and therefore entrepreneurial in nature. Each person will need their own space and alone time to make this work.

The Aries 'on my mind- on my mouth' way is offensive to the Cancer sensibilities. Cancer feels Aries should be more considerate and sensitive to peoples feelings. Aries wonders what all the fuss is about. Cancer needs emotional support and encouragement, and feels everyone needs mothering. Aries doesn't like to be smothered. Are you seeing the differences? Aries requirement for independence is not in conflict with Cancer's needs for warmth and camaraderie but is in conflict with the Cancer possessive tenaciousness. Aries seems selfish, impersonal, and indifferent to Cancer at times. Aries is a me first type, while Cancer is the 'what can I do for you' type. Aries tends to take advantage of the Cancerian good nature. Aries could learn compassion from Cancer, and Cancer could learn to be more independent from Aries. Fire and water, remember water can put out a fire.

Yeah okay. Just for fun, like I said.


ARSENAL VS. CHELSEA NOW BABES WOOHOO!



Shall go watch while doing my Geog homework. Oops but yeah its a VERY. IMPORTANT. MATCH. I seriously need Milo or Mocha now cuz my eyelids are feeling a tad bit heavy. :(


GO NASRI! Lovelovelovelove my baby ;)
WIN FRANK LAMPARD, MY EX-FAVOURITE PLAYER.
Tatiana Golovin shall not win his heart in the end! :(

Magic Dance

Okay all those emo stuffs aside, I'm gonna blog about SHINee!
Not done that for a very long time but there's something, SOMETHING that I must blog about!

Q: How many songs can SHINee's Replay dance sync with?

Original dance-


And




1. Hyori - U-Go-Girl



2. DBSK - Mirotic



3. SNSD - Gee



4. BoA - Eat You Up



5. Big Bang - Number 1



6. SE7EN - Passion



7. Big Bang - Lalala



8. Wonder Girls - Irony



9. Super Junior - U



10. Wonder Girls - Nobody



11. Speakerbox Chocolate - The Broadway



12. Big Bang - So Beautiful



13. DBSK - Close To You



14. SHINee - Love Like Oxygen



15. V.O.S. - Beautiful Life



16. Epik High - Breakdown



17. Rain - Oh Yeah



18. Hyori - 10 Minutes



19. MC Mong - Circus



20. JYP - Kiss (EWW this song is. HAHAHA imagine if SHINee sang this!)




Okay I'm tired of video hunting. Next time I'll do one on SHINee's Love Like Oxygen dance. Saw a few videos that people tried to match DBSK and other songs to it! :o SHINee IS MAGIC!!





They sang Wonder Girls' So Hot!! Jonghyun at the start with the "uh uh!" is damn cuteeeee :D Minho's sitting down there like.. bored. Till Yoobin's rap part came and he rapped along xD



And singing of Girl's Generation by.. um.. Girl's Generation (SNSD). Jonghyun keeps checking out his reflection in the camera lens! And the part where they put the mic infront of Minho (3:14 onwards) and then he did a little dance was damn cute ^_^

Shit, I'm becoming a fangirl again.



TAEMINNIE! Wonder Boys x.x

Cade la pioggia e tutto tace lo vedi sento anch’io la pace

Hello...
Can you hear me
Am I getting through to you
Hello...
Is it late there
Is there laughter on the line
Are you sure you're there alone
Cuz I'm
trying to explain
something's wrong
You just don't sound the same
Why don't you
Why don't you
Go outside
Go outside
Kiss the rain
Whenever you need me
Kiss the rain
Whenever I'm gone too long
If your lips feel lonely and thirsty
Kiss the rain
And wait for the dawn
Keep in mind
We're under the same sky
And the night's
As empty for me as for you
If you feel
You can't wait till morning
Kiss the rain...