Mom

I think Laptop's going to die in a few years time. Oh well, then Dad can get me the Mac Book I've been wanting! Its so pretty.

You know what? I think life is like that piece of rainbow bread. Take the risk and just eat it! Outside dull and prolly not something you'd wanna eat cuz its JUST bread, inside a pretty rainbow.



Today, Aunty Esther called me to have a good long talk with me today and she ended off the phone call telling me something about my mom which pained me quite badly. Its nothing bad, really. About her feeling hurt that she can't do anything, that she could only watch me breakdown when I do cuz I feel hurt.

My mom is one heck of a strong woman. The only time I remember her crying openly was when my grandmother from my maternal side passed away. Being K2 at that time, I was screaming for my gran when she passed away cuz she's the first close relative of mine who did.

I went to ask her about it when she came out of her room after getting ready to go to my aunt's place. The moment she came out of the room she said, "My darling daughter." and hugged me. That never happens btw.

Of course, needless to say, being the water tap that I am, I started tearing while asking her, "Mom did you cry? I heard from someone you cried while talking about me."


You know, it pained me to watch her expression at that point of time. Eyes turning red and watery, she just said, "Aiyah, mommy cried while watching the show la!"

You know what show was on TV at that point of time?

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS.

(Unless you're really some emotional wreck, Spongebob Squarepants would never make a person cry. Why do you think the cartoon's about a sponge anyway?)

She reassured me, "Don't worry, I didn't cry. Don't worry so much about it okay? I'm gonna go lao-gim's house to learn how to make the spongecake you like! She's been wanting to teach me and she said today MUST go."

With red, watery eyes, how can that scene be one that was.. well, assuring?

I've honestly never felt so hurt just cuz my mom was holding back tears. I felt so angry at myself, so pissed! Like I just wanted to bang a wall and die or something, and that's a line I usually use on people when I'm pissed at them.

A mother's love can never go wrong in situations like these, and I never really believed that till now. She's done so much for me and I've never done anything to honor her for the full glory that she deserves. Amazing cook, baker, ondeh-ondeh maker and whatever! Who loves seafood and any shellfish as much as I do and who loves bickering with me cuz we have the same personalities.

Shall end off with my favourite photo from my film camera.


Mom, if you read this,

I love you. :)