G E E B E E ▲ ∆

Gwendolyn N.
20 years young, a dreamer with a slight obsession for the lemniscate.

Monday, July 29, 2013

The Big Groove 2013

Short blog entry/reflection to sum up my TBG 2013 experience before I go to bed:

Mind. Blown.

It's amazing how a concert like this would change and inspire the many dancers who attended it.

(I was about to describe TBG as "one small concert" but then it occured to me how TBG is NOT small at all.)

Someone tweeted about how TBG is like National Day – all the dancers look forward to it plus it's a must watch for us.

It's true I suppose. We have guest performers from all over the world and they rehearse so hard just for one night like that that unites dancers everywhere. I look forward to every year's TBG more than I do NDP.. damn.

My mindset for dance hasn't been quite right this year.

I was always tempted to leave just because.

Just because I felt like I didn't belong.
Just because I felt lonely in a room full of people.
Just because I felt like my passion was dying.
Just because I felt like my passion was suffocating me.
Just because I felt more miserable trying to get my passion back than anything else.

Then it hit me: stop being such a brat.

"Be more appreciative, Gwen!" I told myself. And now I see myself feeling it all over again, the hunger, the urge, the need to dance and perform, and the need to improve myself to become the music, and not just dance to it.

It's funny how I concluded all this after a few hours in a Suntec convention area, with crazy-ass vibes from everyone in there. The excitement, the chills, everyone's passion for dance oozing to every crack in the wall, every corner in the hall.

The atmosphere.

I LOVED it, and I absolutely missed it.

Strictly Dance Zone is my 2nd-2nd family (the MFSS sailors would always be my 1st-2nd family), and I'm terribly grateful for the chances I've gotten throughout the past 3 years I've been in the club and the people I've met along the way.

It was one hell of a bumpy ride, and as much as I hated it from time to time, I found that I have so much more to be thankful for.

Then I realised that I didn't fall out of love with dance per say..

I got bitch-slapped by reality, that is all.

I need to remember how it felt to dream.. to dream big.

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