Shit

On the verge of giving up.

Maybe it's better for you that I'm not in your life.. maybe.

Tomorrow's gonna be a long day.. no, this week's gonna be a long week.

I have this strong urge to pull out of STL, not because I can't handle it but because I really know I don't want to go back anymore. But I know if I do that's really it. I won't see myself dancing anymore, especially not in SDZ.

I can live without the people who can live without me.

Sick of myself, sick of comparing, sick of wishing and definitely sick of wanting things to work out for me.

It kinda sucks that nothing's going my way at the moment, and I'm also finding out a lot of things I guess I shouldn't have.

Glad I had a good day with Russell and my girls earlier today.

A day well spent with my loved ones was seriously all I needed, especially what with the drama that came after.

I know these are just some of the people I can count on forever in life :)

Met Russell after submitting my ITP forms and headed down to FEP to meet Joey, ZS and Eileen!

The guys got to catch up while we girls just sat around talking nonsense as Joey had her hair diiiid. Can't believe we were discussing our houses in secondary school and recalling who was in what house.

OMG I WAS LOOKING THROUGH MY OLD PHOTOS TO SEE IF WE HAD A PHOTO OF US IN OUR HOUSES......

.......AND LOOK WHAT I FOUND:

Tada! Our photo from when we were still in sec 2Integrity.

Waited around for Joey to be done at the salon before accompanying Russell for lunch at Ofira hehehe. Though I didn't eat today I think I'll never get sick of the food there!

Went to Prologue with him and after a round around the place, I'm seriously considering whether or not to blow half of my June pay on books since I've been holding back for months (cuz that's how long I've been struggling with cash. Spend on things I need/would do when going out like movies and food, but don't spend on the things I can live without).

Proceeded to YCK to Joey's house after for chili crab dinner!

Hehe so full but it looks like only Cass and I are the ones really crazy about chili crab. Now I know who I can call out whenever I wanna go out for chili crab!

Oh, it was also the day I became an IJC AND NYJC student.

Just kidding of course!

Shirt from Shanai's orientation thing in IJC, and NYJC shorts from Joey which I borrowed cuz I refused to play Dance Central 3 in a skirt and a tank top + denim jacket.

Anyways welcome back to Singapore for now Joey Tan!

So glad you're back (even though it's for a month) really. Missed you like crazy when you were in Aussie and I'm pretty glad we can both Skype with each other cuz it'll be another 4 years till you're back for good!

Love you to the moon and back!

Oh well time to get some sleep cuz I have to get up at 10am tomorrow. Can't wait till this week is done and over with because then I'll have freedom for a while.

I'm gonna spend the whole day drawing and editing away sigh dear MacBook please behave tomorrow cuz I'm bound to have a lot to do! Hang in there, my love!!!!

What I should keep in mind:

Thank you, Patrick.

Can't wait till Saturday cuz that's when I'll see him again.


In the meantime, I really need someone to talk to.

Honestly on the verge of breaking down.