Losing It

I need to stop crying.

The past few days.. it's as if all I can do is cry.

Cry myself to sleep, cry to myself when I wake up.. for various reasons but reasons nonetheless. Then the cycle repeats itself the next day, and the next, and the next.

I cannot stand being disappointed.

I cannot stand being upset.

I cannot stand I myself being sensitive.

I cannot stand being lied to.

I cannot stand being manipulated.

Best part is I have to go to school and pretend I'm totally fine, or at least I think I'm doing a good job. Then Syara Skypes me and tells me "No wonder you look like sad only today". Sigh.

Times like these I really just need to switch off and stop thinking everything I'm thinking. I wish I could just stop interacting with people, to just be on my own. To cry myself to sleep tonight instead of having to stay up cuz I suddenly have this whole shitpile of things to do.

I'm exhausted, and I am certainly losing it.

What the hell is wrong with me..