G E E B E E ▲ ∆

Gwendolyn N.
20 years young, a dreamer with a slight obsession for the lemniscate.

Tuesday, June 04, 2013

June 4th, 4:04AM Inspiration

Forever my favourite S**t Kingz choreo.

Who doesn't love watching 4 charismatic guys dancing with so effortlessly with so much swag and confidence?

And the song choice.. perrrrfect. It's on loop now teehee.

I'm trapped in my room cuz there's a cockroach outside. 

Almost stepped on it when I was on my way to the kitchen to wash the dishes sigh what luck. Just squealed (rather silently) and did this weird thief-tiptoe thing around my dining table so that I could still make it to the kitchen.

2nd night in a row I'm bumping into cockroaches at home SOMEONE SAVE ME.

Ah just as well, gotta be up early tomorrow for Nepal OCIP meeting again and the CASS kids decided to take charge of ice-breakers. Alvin and I are leading hehe. The benefits of having attended too many camps to count (and being Day Games IC for the most recent CASS FOC AY13/14).

Just hope that I would actually hear my name being called when they announce the results of who made the cut on Friday after the trek (which I am super stoked for). Would be real bummed out if I didn't but then again I would be happy cuz that means I can continue being a part of R! Recital Vol. 2.

Would be extremely sad going back to Recognize next Thursday to ask if I could claim back my $20 for the Recital pack. Ugh can't imagine how sad I'd be on the way home.

Guess life still isn't fair.

I'm actually reading back on all the posts labelled "Dance" and I came across my old posts during my Hip Hop 1-3 course period, when I was still close to Jolyn, Daryl, Guohui, Tiffy etc. I'm glad most of them are still dancing now (except the army boys but I was so touched that they came down for last year's Waves 17 to support me, even giving me chocolates) and that I still keep in contact with most of them.

Came across this statement I wrote: 

"Anyone who has really tried to understand my love of dance would know that I've been dreaming of the day I'd join a crew that I could hang out with, dance with and just be myself around since... ever. I guess I've found them ;) We may not be good, our moves not clean, not tight, but at least we're enjoying the experience as it comes!"

I guess that's the main difference between me then and now.

It was always about the experience and just taking things as they come.. but now I always think about the need to please others, how it's a must to at least get into the finals, how I wanna get to at least Top 16 in every battle I join..

I need to stop pressuring myself and giving myself unnecessary stress. I guess it's only then would I be able to truly enjoy and love what I do best again.

I miss that passion I once had.. gotta find it back.

But for now I can't sleep cuz I can't stop thinking about forgoing R! Recital Vol. 2 and it's frustrating me to no end. Can't believe I'm gonna be in camp GL/OC mode tomorrow afternoon on like 4 hours of sleep. Plus SDZ AGM after Nepal OCIP meeting............... fun.

Well the 4:04AM inspiration's definitely working cuz I'm blasting music and freestyling in my room now hehehe.


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