I was so bored I ended up watching old videos of me dancing.
Found this at Bettina's Youtube channel and realised I still remember my first choreography.
I put so much effort into it, planning the moves and watching videos that would help 'till 3 in the morning or so? I always went to bed a bit sweaty because I danced infront of my very narrow mirror before sleeping. (As a matter of fact, I still do)
Yeah, I find myself scary at times like this.
It surprises me how much effort I can put into one thing, yet at the same time how little effort I can put into another. In this context it would be Dance vs. My Studies.
While showering just now, I took the time to reflect. It dawned on me that I have always been very shy to admit I have always wanted to be a well-known choreographer/dancer while singing for fun; as a hobby. I wanted to debut in Korea and.. Well, lets just say I'm very ambitious in my goals. (I'm still thinking twice about whether I should delete this before clicking on "Publish Post")
I wish I had the courage of, say, Alex and Syafiqah. They love singing and aren't afraid to do so infront of people. I, on the other hand, never sang infront of my parents before. Except for the time I was younger and very much into F.I.R. and ended up singing that at a karaoke session. That was the only time I opened up infront of my parents.
I never danced infront of them too.
Infact, how many of my friends have actually seen me dance are countable with a hand or two. Yes I would say a hand.
After reading Matthew Liu's blog and profile (he added me on Facebook. Am still in denial about how one event like this got me to be 'suddenly inspired'), it hit me, while I was showering, that life is too short to be 'shy' about everything.
My showers are deemed my "Thinking Time".
But how do I get over this shyness? I have no idea how to rid of being shy, much less do what I love infront of friends and family. I want to be like my cousin, teaching dance at a costly rate as a hobby. His name's Tze Yi (my aunt said he goes by the same Zee(?) online?) and he does salsa I believe. He was on newspapers, magazines, videos, competing in countries like Melbourne..
How I would love to be in his shoes.
We read this article which had him and other 'eligible bachelors' on CLEO or something. They nicknamed him Singapore's Rain (Rain as in the Korean star). My parents were impressed because they never saw this dressy side of him. Around us, he's in specs, jeans and a random tee.
Sigh.
Now to plan my first step into pursuing what I REALLY want to do: Mass Comm in Ngee Ann Poly.
Again, I'll shyly admit that I only wanted to get into NP for dance at first. I was all gung ho about Junior College since forever. The NP dream started one fine day 2 years ago, when Jiaqi and Sera told me NP was known for its hip hop CCA -- NRA.
As of now, my dad's hoping I would get through the DAE application to Nanyang Poly. He just spoke to me and told me to appeal to Republic Poly as well. "Take whatever chance you have to get you somewhere instead of wasting one year."
Even so, I already plan to get a good GPA in whatever course DAE leads me to, and then transfer out for Mass Comm by the next year. It sounds mean, but I would do anything for me to get into my dream course. Dad, isn't that as good as wasting a year?
Then again, I AM only (going-to-be) 17! I still have many years ahead of me before I become old and rot in a bed, paralysed and urinating through a tube.
Ew..
Um.. Yeah. Ugh ew gross I really wouldn't want to die when I have to urinate through a tube. Ew, ew, ew! Oh great now being 90 years old really doesn't seem like a pretty sight for me. Thanks to this thought, I would NEVER look forward to growing old, retiring and admitting myself into a costly hospital so that my kids and husband would sit around me as my days go by.
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