Scared

The need to lose more weight,

the need to be strong for others,

the fear of being alone,

the fear of more people leaving me,

the fear of disappointing,

the need to impress,

the fear of being a nuisance,

the fear of failing..

The fear of losing you.

I'm praying that you, you and you don't leave me. I'm scared. I've never felt this scared before.

What am I doing? I don't really know anymore. All I know is that I'm tired, exhausted beyond anything I've ever experienced.

I want to give up. On dance, on life, on myself. Walks home have been.. increasingly miserable.. ending with me crying on the way home. Waking up has become a chore for me because I don't want to leave the comfort of my home when I know I'll only feel more depressed when the day progresses. School has become another place I dread going to. I feel rejected, I feel like nothing I do is gonna make things right again.

Nothing will ever be okay.

To each its own.

I'm tired, I really am.