Been so busy lately I've not had much time for myself, much less my friends.
Would be lying if I said dance didn't occupy most of my time. What with the competition coming up this Saturday, having to plan the flashmob with 11 other SDZ juniors.. And studies.
I'm finding it hard to cope. Just a few weeks back, out of a 5-day school-week, I missed 4 days of school. I felt so bad, but I was so worn out I couldn't wake up on most days. I couldn't even fall asleep to begin with, no matter how tired I was.
Had to turn down so many outings. Felt horrid, but the thing's that I know this would prolly be my life for the next few years or so? I enjoy dancing everyday and would definitely dance even if I didn't have some competition or whatsoever going on.
Talked to Celine and Rach about it at our sleepover on Rach's birthday week. I went to Timbre really late cuz of our practice for the competition, and apparently they weren't happy about it, but didn't show it until they got to my place. My miserable cake from Starbucks couldn't even make up for it, in my opinion. Rach talked to me when we were at my place washing up, and when it was her turn to wash up (after Cel), I talked to Cel and cried really badly.
"I'm afraid dance will be my downfall. I'm gonna lose all my close friends cuz of this. But I don't know what to do because it's the one thing I REALLY love."
Thank God for her comforting hug that came after that sentence because I was just sitting there awkwardly bawling my eyes out. When she told me that she and Rach understood the situation I was in after I explained why I was so terribly late, and that I would definitely not lose the two of them because they understood and supported me all the way (knowing that this is my passion).. well, I'm just.. thankful.
Deep down I'm still trying to justify why dance is so important to me. It could be the fact that it's the only thing that seems to make my parents proud of me, and the fact that it's the only thing I started that I didn't stop at halfway.
Struggling hard to juggle studies and dance, and it's extremely tiring but I'm getting better at it. GRAAW's wake-up call made me realise I really had to wake up and try harder than I already am, and to make an effort.
And when Becca told me how concerned she was about me while we were getting nasi ayam penyet at FC6.. haha, I told her, "If we weren't in a public area now I'd be crying."
Becca, Wee, Rachael, Alvin, Shermin, Aki.. thanks for being there for me in school. Wouldn't know what to do without you guys.