G E E B E E ▲ ∆

Gwendolyn N.
20 years young, a dreamer with a slight obsession for the lemniscate.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013


Gooooooooooooood evening!

Once again, I've got a meeting at 12.30pm for CASS Freshmen Orientation Camp (FOC) and I'm still up at 6.01am.

(Obviously courting death.)

But hi!

Today I realised a few things. I need:
  1. to learn Illustrator (since I'm considering trying for internship at a design firm. Advertising agencies may not be my thing after all)
  2. to take my keyboard out of the cupboard cuz I miss playing the piano. I taught myself how to play it since my parents refused to give me piano lessons since I was 7 and I really should continue.
  3. to start using the Windows component of my Mac since all games that are good don't seem Mac-compatible. I got a free Dota 2 game key from someone for Steam and Dota 2 isn't Mac-compatible OH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT. L4D2 is gone from my Steam library too ugh why?!
Really frustrated with how I can't game on my Mac when I finally have the time to play.

Anyways the past few weeks have been hell.

Home has been an absolute hell hole, and it really isn't the same without Dad. I'm not sure how long more we will hold up until we finally break. Drama happens every single day and it's sickening that I dread coming home and yet, at the same time, I dread leaving home.

It's as if I took the role of my dad, which kinda sucks if you think about it. I've become the person that whines at and watches over my lil' bro and my mom; the pillar.

I'm crying every day, and so is my mom. Sick sick sick sick sick of this, really. I can't stand watching her get her heart broken every other day because of something major that began with something so terribly minor.

It just isn't worth it.

I have to be strong but how much longer can the strong stand tall?

Dad, I really miss you.

No comments: