G E E B E E ▲ ∆

Gwendolyn N.
20 years young, a dreamer with a slight obsession for the lemniscate.

Sunday, March 10, 2013


G'evening folks.

With so much on my mind right now, I find it particularly hard to sleep tonight.

For one, my dad's leaving on a morning flight in 7 hours to Brunei to work. He'll only be back for good in 2-4 years.. depending on his contract.

Even though I've mentally prepared myself since months ago when he announced that he was gonna go for the job interview, it still hits hard especially when I'm a few hours away from saying things like "See you when I see you!", which I sometimes say when sending off friends who are taking on the next chapter of life overseas – something I'd like to do.

The good news is that he'll prolly come home more often in the first year, so the next time I see him will be in June/July.

I've come to realise that I'll miss him a lot, even though I don't – and won't – ever show it. I'm not a daddy's girl (even if Becca claims that she thinks I secretly am), but my dad still holds a special spot in my heart despite how harsh or unfatherly (before you go oh Gwen you're a horrible daughter to say your father is.. unfatherly! etc., no I don't mean it that way. Dude c'mon I love my family) I sometimes claim he is.

For the most part, I'm worried about how his absence would affect my mom and lil' bro. Gerald's going through his "O" Level year, and my mom's stressed like cray over it because.. well.. my mom stresses over everything. She wouldn't be Mrs Neo if she didn't.

I think I'd cope pretty well.

Also, one of my closest friends Shirei.. the FIRST EVER person I spoke to in Mayflower Sec would be leaving this coming Monday.

Sometimes life amazes you in little ways such as this. I never expected myself to end up being close friends with Shirei even though we were classmates in sec 1 and 2, and suddenly she's leaving too with a slight probability of not coming back ever.

While the people I expected to be godmothers/fathers of my future kids (who will be cute with chubby, rosy cheeks and obvious dimples that don't locate themselves where people don't see them unlike mine) are people who I don't talk to now. It's sad, really. Sometimes I can't help but think of them and miss them........................

..OK I'm sorry I digressed.

Two people to say bye to in two days.

Just gonna pray for their safety and to hope to achieve some sort of bravery so that one day I would be the one people are sending off because I was ballsy enough to do what I wanted to do and what I set out to achieve overseas, not in Singapore.

Whatever. Right now I feel like going for a drink at Clarke Quay or something.

3 hours left before I need to get my ass up to the airport.. I REALLY need to catch up on my sleep.

p.s. I dug out the beanie I bought at Genting!

For those who don't know – I love wearing beanies because I believe it's the only headgear I don't look stupid or silly in, and I always buy them when I see nice ones but how am I supposed to wear them in Singapore's weather without dying of heat ugh bye!

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