On a random side note, hello! I'm back from Genting (had a short getaway there with the dancers) with loads of foutous (slang it like you mean it guuuuuurl)
As much as I would like to blog about my trip there with bits about how car-sick I felt, I have to get up at 6am for a performance tomorrow for SP's International Students Club? And boy am I feeling the stress.
I'm no longer dancing for myself. I've been dreading dance, and getting up for anything dance/SDZ has been a chore. I no longer feel the love and passion I once had for dance because all I feel now is the stress that comes packaged with graduating from being a year 1 junior to become a senior.
Even with the getaway, I found myself stressing about dance all the time. Keyword here being 'stress'. I've never coupled the words 'dance' and 'stress' together and I'm not exactly proud of it.
I don't feel the music anymore. My cyphers have become shit and I'm starting to feel shit about myself and my dance. Don't ge me wrong - I'm not seeking attention nor am I trying to be this person who wallows in self pity, but think about it - dance is my LIFE.
To be feeling this way about something that you consider to be your life.. how shitty would YOU feel?
And being away in Genting just made me realise.. why I've been so depressed, so lifeless, so dull and reluctant during trainings?
I've not been dancing for myself. That's why.