想当年。。。

My younger brother got his "O" Level results back today.

Frankly speaking, when I texted him earlier in the day while I was at work, asking him how it went and how his results were, I wasn't the least bit surprised at his reply.

Infact I just encouraged him to do what he felt was right (after a hour-long talk with him when I got home), and to keep in mind that no route is deemed the "wrong route".

Like brother like sister, huh?

I remember how it was when I got my "O's" results back.

It was horrible, I came out crying after realising that all the abbreviations on the slip of paper from MOE were course codes for ITE.

I felt like a failure due to the fact that majority of my cousins were really smart, hardworking and that they went to elite schools. I kept telling myself how full of fail I was, and that my parents must be ashamed of me and my "achievements".

My mom was strongly against the idea of me going down what she considered The ITE Route, and although I am thankful for the fact I decided to retake my "O's" instead of going to higher nitec, I never felt that (anyone) going to ITE was a bad route to begin with.

Your results don't define you, your actions do.

What if you were really smart, but yet snobbish, rude and downright mean at the same time? What if you're smart, and yet you abuse the people and/or animals around you?

So yes, don't discourage someone or put him/her down just because their GPA or examination scores are bad. I suppose what matters more is the kind of person he/she is. Does he/she treat his/her family well? Are they appreciative, grateful and loving? Are they kind to animals?

Ah, I don't know. It's 12:06AM and my brain is pretty much shutting off.

So today I finally applied to volunteer at Save Our Street Dogs (SOSD).

Coincidentally, Sha posted up a picture of the dogs there and after chatting with him for a bit I found out he's been a volunteer for almost 3 months!

If my application gets through and slots for kennel volunteers open up, I'll receive training and will be spending (hopefully) my Sundays and maybe a weekday or two at Pasir Ris Farmway (sigh why so far) volunteering with Sha since he only goes down on Sundays and told me I should go down on Sundays with him.

As much as I would like to be on the rescue team, I don't have a car or a motorbike, so responding to calls would be hard as I would probably have to bus/train/cab there. Sigh I really wanna help on the rescue team though! :(

In the meantime, I'll have to think of what part-time job I would wanna do while waiting for my graduation ceremony in May, and before uni starts in August.

Speaking of which, today I finally found time to turn my Mac on, finally found the time and the energy (it's mostly energy) to make myself a good bowl of plain yoghurt with fruits, granola and chocolate for dinner, and then set it beside my Mac.

Finally found the willpower in me to try to work on my university admissions portfolio for NTU ADM..

..then I sat infront of my Mac for almost 30mins, munching on my dinner while staring at the screen.

It's like, BRAIN Y U NO WORK?!

Wanted to work on my drawings but once again me being me, I couldn't pick what to draw. Sigh.. it looks like tonight's wasted.

Seriously need to get started though, but my creative juices ain't flowin' dawgggg!

Just glad that I have a few projects on hand thanks to Joey! She hooked me up with her cousin who does set-ups at weddings and parties, and now I have a promo video to film/make and a menu to design!

If anyone out there needs a video done (minimal visual effects) or some designs done up, feel free to contact me! (Shameless advertising here, I'm sorry.)

I may be doing it for free, but I'll consider it as something that can go into my portfolio. Pretty excited to finish doing up my portfolio and the ideas come rushing to my head all through the morning. Sadly they disappear the moment I sit down and decide: "Today's the night we start this thing, let's go!"

It's not happening, not tonight.

Off to bed!

The Animal Resort and The Goose Whisperer

A few days back, ze boyfriend told me he was planning a surprise for me this weekend and absolutely refused to tell me where we were going or what our day would be like.

I'm a sucker for surprises, and yet I love spoilers? I don't know how that works really.

After one long bus ride (I love taking the bus with him hehe) and a long walk under the hot sun later, we found ourselves at The Animal Resort.

I love animals (except those with beaks, I just confirmed that I really am afraid of them today) and when I saw where he was taking me I couldn't be happier! It's something out of the norm for us cuz we normally stay in or go to malls nearest to our area. The moment I saw all the dogs at the entrance I wanted to die in a pool of joy!!!

(Wait, that doesn't make sense. Pardon me.. it's almost 12am.)

Before we bought food for the animals, we took a walk around to see what animals were out there.

An albino peacock! First time seeing one.

There were a couple more peacocks there!

There were a lot of rabbits there too. This one particular cage had 4 kits!

They were so cute!

Bought carrots for the bunnies and the only horse we saw on the resort:

The horse reminded me of the practicum days as one of our episodes was filmed at Gallop Stable.

Being the only horse there I would assume that it's quite lonely. Wish it had another horse to accompany it or something.

As much as I love horses, I'm scared to feed them. It's like the only animals I could gladly go up to feed were the bunnies because they're absolutely harmless! Confirm plus chop.

Everytime I placed the carrots near the horse I had this feeling it'll bite my hand or something. Russ ended up holding my hand out as I attempted to feed it as I kept laughing. The horse was hilarious!

They even had a cassowary there!

Like, how does one keep a cassowary?

The first and last time I heard of a cassowary was when I watched a YouTube video on how it attacks people with its claws, killing them in the process. Then I watched another video on how someone tried to interact with a few cassowaries and they were so aggressive to the point the person had to fend them off with shields and a rake or something.

Russ bought bread to feed the birds with, and he actually fed the cassowary.

He didn't feed it directly of course, but still!

Meet my boyfriend, The Goose Whisperer!

I don't know what's cuter: him feeding the geese, or them (plus the pigeons) following him wherever he went?

He was the Goose Whisperer for a day, leading a goose parade.

"Learn to speak goose for a dollar!"

It's actually heartwarming watching him enjoying and having fun as he feeds the ducks and geese (which I didn't dare feed).

There's just something about watching your boyfriend as he interacts with animals.

"You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him."

It rained after that, which wasn't a bad thing cuz we were done in about 1.5 hours or so?

I love dates like these because I see and learn so much more about him just when I thought I knew everything. I'm so thankful for the fact he was the one who planned this! Really enjoyed my day out with him hehe.

Wouldn't trade our dates for anything. :)

I'm not too sure if you read my blog anymore, but thank you for everything! Here's to many more awesome dates love!

201...4

Another year has passed and honestly speaking I thought that 2014 came way too quickly.

One good thing about having a personal blog is that it gives me the ability to reflect on my life/day as I blog and read back on old posts.

It enables me to see how far I've come and grown as an individual.

When I read my old blog posts, I would normally find myself cringing in disgust, wondering things like how was I such a person?! and oh God I typed like THAT? Ugh!

2013 was the year I made a lot of decisions and went through a lot that made me grow stronger both physically and mentally.

It was the year I hit the big two-ohs (20, I meant 20).

It was the year I struggled hard to find my old self back.

It was also the year I struggled hard to accept the fact that I can never find my old self back, and to realise that my efforts were futile, that I experienced so much inner conflictions for nothing.

It was the year I faced a lot of difficulties and became a little jaded.

It was also the year I learnt – the hard way – that having a few hundred followers on Instagram or a thousand or so Facebook friends meant absolutely nothing because how many of those people could you call or text when you need help, need someone to be there for you, and they would immediately respond to your cry of help as a genuine (oh hey it's 2014 and I still can't spell 'genuine' right) friend would?

But it was through all this that I realised..

..it's okay to struggle, it's okay to fight, and it definitely is okay for you to crumble and fall apart.

It's okay if you take your time to get better, to come to terms with what's going on. It's even okay for you to lose yourself.

Because things will eventually get better. As long as you believe in it, you definitely can make things happen regardless of what's standing in your way.


2013:

I lost friends, gained new ones, caught up with some old friends and became even closer to them.

I took chances, I became bold. I learnt to hang on for the ride no matter how tough it gets.

Was part of a committee for my AY12/13 (AY stands for Academic Year, since we start our year in April and end it in February the next year) where I felt the freedom of doing things as the committee wished (there are no real teachers-in-charge in poly CCA clubs). Did a lot of stupid things, organized club events, stayed back till late countless times for meetings and such.

To my 7 SDZ comm members: Pressy Azrul, Vice-Pressy Jacob(ee), (amazing) QM Choonlong the dragon, Welfare Dex, thank you for being there through all the ups and downs. We were an ambitious bunch I suppose. From having organized Waves, SDZ FOC.. all the other events I can't recall at this time; for tolerating the squabbles we had over the course of us being in the comm. I truly enjoyed all the meetings and late nights because you guys were so much fun. Handing down our comm roles was pretty bittersweet, and I'm glad we pulled through.

And now the current comm's about to hand down their roles soon.. how time flies.

On a side note, I love how this photo turned out. No one directed us to smile or to look serious, and the moment we looked at the photo the guys were like, "OI WHY YOU GIRLS SMILEEEE?!". Thing is the three of us didn't plan to smile together, and the guys didn't plan to look serious together.

Met a childhood friend again after not being in contact for almost a decade, got together with him and loved/received more love than ever from someone who isn't family. He's honestly the highlight of my year, and although I can be a really difficult person from time to time, I've never felt more thankful for a simple catch up lunch that happened almost 7 months ago.

Thank you for standing by me, being my pillar of strength whenever I needed you despite you being extremely busy yourself. I love you, and here's to many more good times together!

Struggled with a friendship for the span of almost the whole year, occasionally losing faith and wanting to give up. But hanging in there we both mended our friendship, now I feel truly happy whenever I see her and we're basically just celebrating our friendship and love for dance.

Went through the same thing with another close friend and after countless struggles and confrontations, agreed that 2014 would be a better year for our friendship, for us. And guess what? Things most certainly are looking up as of now.

Got a lot closer to a friend and am terribly thankful she's always there for me regardless of how tired or late it is. Learnt so much more from her than I ever would have learnt from anyone else.

After everything, I'm basically just thankful I'm surrounded by beautiful friends and family, to be here, to be alive.

Happy New Year to everyone reading this!

I don't really do new year resolutions due to the fact I never do stick to them, but here's one thing I'd like to keep in mind for this year:

"But what if we could stop, pause to take stock of each precious moment before it passes?"

2014: Make love your goal.