G E E B E E ▲ ∆

Gwendolyn N.
20 years young, a dreamer with a slight obsession for the lemniscate.

Tuesday, December 03, 2013


I recently took on the biggest project ever (to me, that is).

T'was a crazy few weeks..

Had a couple late nights..

BUT I FINALLY CONQUERED IT! (After surviving the night on a half-hour power nap)

All you need to do when you get to the office is just.. tweak, get approval, export! Done!

Ah, it feels so good to be able to tell myself that while I sit here chilllllllin', typing this out on my MacBook that I've missed so dearly.

Nope, still not extremely fond of using a PC.

Y'know, as an intern I expected – and wanted – myself to get actual work to do but when I got this it was just.. massive. My initial cause of excitement in the office slowly became the bane of my existence, and it was a horrible experience because I felt extremely stressed out and disappointing people around me – those in the office, especially – isn't a fun thing to experience. I found that I wasn't able to think of any ideas, as if I had no inkling whatsoever of what creativity was in the first place.

I really miss my classmates, my groupmates especially because it is (and will always be) awesome being around them. I could go crazy whenever I wanted to and they would just join in or give me this siao ah you look and laugh it off. I miss being able to talk to Arynah and Steffi in our weirdass voices and them going "FLOOOORA, by GWIN".

Then again, as much as I would like for internship to end ASAP, I find myself getting more and more attached to my colleagues.

Turns out they're more fun a bunch than I thought they'd be, especially Jane cuz she's like the older sister I never had, always giving me encouragement and advice whenever she could tell that I was facing difficulties at work and would keep it to myself. When I first met her I thought I would never get to know her due to the fact I always had lunch with the dudes, but she joined us once and now we're the girl lunch group because y'know, girls enjoy taking more time to eat and to catch up/share stories over a meal.

It's amazing how when we discovered we had a chance of attending a local u thanks to NTU ADM, the three of us (plus Joranna, another intern who's coincidentally from SP DMIT, up the hill with DMC) immediately sat down and spent extra time in the office (after 6pm and not infront of our bosses, of course) discussing how we should go about doing the drawings, organizing our portfolio and all.

It's so scary and yet all so amazing at the same time. It's like I've been so lost the past half a year due to my bad grades. There wasn't a chance someone with my GPA was going to NTU Wee Kim Wee, and even lesser chance of me attending uni in NUS FASS for CNM. And these were the only places I ever intended to try out for especially WKW because which mass/media comm student doesn't know of WKW and how awesome it is tn?

Of course I'm still gonna try to appeal for WKW cuz it's definitely my dream course in uni.

It's amazing how I'm in the best class in DMC (yes DMC/FT/3B/01, as assistant class rep I'm really proud of our class) but I didn't do that well till I kinda woke up and realised how stupid I was in Year 1.

Everyone thinks that I'm kidding when I say my GPA's low. "Don't lie la, your version of low is like actually damn high right? Your class so zai!" sighhhh y'all thought wrong.

But yes, if anything I'm rather grateful I could at least attend NTU if I worked hard on the drawings and portfolio to submit! The thought of putting together a portfolio (my online one doesn't count) is like whoop whoop exciting!

Speaking of grateful, I realised how fortunate I am to be where I am really.

It's as if after all my angst from my project cleared up, I could sit down and just relax and think about what's been going on the past few days/week.

I have beautiful friends who are always there for me and who would take the initiative to offer me help when they felt I was struggling (thanks Ah Joey Tan for cooking dinner and the night of chillin'), friends who would text me to ask how I'm doing and holding up with everything..

I guess just when you think life's throwing – not giving – lemons at you, you find that you can actually take a freaking massive blender to like blend it all up instead of painfully juicing those lemons one by one.

.....ok wut.

Moving on!

My family too. You know you're blessed with an awesome family when your brother walks out of his room in the middle of the night, sees you falling asleep all over the table while you're working and offers to go get you coffee from the nearby Giant supermarket even though it's really late. And when you offer to walk with him he tells you to stay home cuz "You've got work to do, no worries I'll handle it."

It's like.. yeah, I suddenly see everything clearly.. everything that I've been taking for granted due to my stupidity.

A little positivity goes a long way, but a little negativity goes even further than that – not in the good way.

As much as I feel regretful of my behaviour and what I've said/done while angsty..

Well, all I have with and in me are time, a little hope and the confidence that I'll be able to make everything right in time to come.

Time to get ready for work!

Joranna told me she'd treat me to Starbucks cuz she knows how I've been feeling the past few weeks.. :') what did I do to deserve such awesome colleagues whom would hopefully end up being my classmates/schoolmates?

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