G E E B E E ▲ ∆

Gwendolyn N.
20 years young, a dreamer with a slight obsession for the lemniscate.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Hello Halloween + Internship Blues

Taking a moment from work to take a breather and to blog from my iPhone (whoa how long has it been since I last blogged from my iPhone — or at all?)

I started internship on 14th October and I will admit that I'm worn out/feeling the effects after just 2 weeks. I'm not terribly fond of working in an office environment and now that I'm in one I'm just thinking of what I could do in future that doesn't involve me being in a 9-5 office environment. It's just downright suffocating.

My colleagues are really fun though so no qualms about them.

Plus I don't have to bring work home as "homework"! Major plus point. Once I'm done for the day in the office I really am done. And there I was thinking how horrible it'll be if I started internship and had to come home to work even more (as observed from my mom who's also in the industry but she's an AE, short for accounts executive).

I'm starting to screw up though, which I'm really disappointed about because I'm such a perfectionist? Especially in things that I know I'm good in. I don't just screw up because I don't allow myself to?

I don't get how I'm able to screw up 2 times in two weeks.... just doesn't make sense to me.

And now I know how one small mistake could make one feel so bitter. When my colleague came over and told me how I am "lucky in a sense" because the client is leaving Singapore and would therefore just "pay us as per normal" despite there being errors in the video I've edited (minor ones), my mood for the day just totally fell.

I guess I feel terribly disappointed cuz I'm pretty sure I double — heck I think it's more than double — checked my edits before exporting it. I don't get how I could've been so careless.

Now I just feel like shit and all I wanna do is go home and rot away because when he initially told me the news I just wanted to cry right there and then because I felt so guilty and disappointed in myself.. but oh well. Lesson learnt: Double-checking is not enough; TRIPLE CHECK!

Then again, if there's one thing I can be proud about, it's the fact that I attended Halloween events for the first time in my life this week!

Went for the ones at *SCAPE and NLB (which I later found out was organized by my dance junior for her FYP) with ze bf, Jack and Dyl.

Had a lot of fun with my bros as usual!

I get super vulgar when I'm scared, so I'm pretty sure that was the most vulgar my boyfriend has ever seen me.

The events were good, but it was pretty late by the time we got to the one at NLB and I was sleepy to the point that nothing really scared me and I started to find everything funny rather than scary. Still haven't gotten over my fear of people in costumes :( I've always hated night walks or anything close, and I would come out of them crying or I would be stuck inside because I'm so scared I can't move.

The *SCAPE one scared me shitless!!! Paid $17 to get scared.

Spent half the time cursing or grabbing onto Russell and hiding behind him hurhur if a "ghost" or whatever appeared to my left I would immediately siam to his right to hide beside him hehe I love my personal human shield (who actually brought bandages along just incase I accidentally tore a limb off him). Think the guys had to like push me to move a few times because I was so scared my walking speed became -9000 and I slowed my group down so much that the couple behind us caught up! Embarrassing much :s

Hopefully next year I'd have more guts (and money) to go for the major Halloween events like USS and Sentosa!

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