You'll Never Know

Ironic that when I feel as if I need a break, I come to my blog.

Everything's been so overwhelming recently, and I'm glad I'm taking it well.

1:49pm and I'm finally done with the cutting of our competition song – just one day before the competition. Phew! *wipes sweat off forehead*

This week's been crazy, what with training till 10.30pm every night. I wake up every morning exhausted and more sick than the night before, but also more optimistic of the competition than I was the day before. Can't believe we just finished up the whole item last night, and that we're just getting our costumes (yay to getting new boots) today! C'mon my dearest SDB girls, last lap! We can do it!

It's crazy what focusing on oneself does for the individual.

Now that I finally have some time to clear my mind and detoxify my emotions, I finally am thinking better and doing things for myself, because I want to and not because I feel the need to do it for others/to please others.

So I guess I may eventually pick up Korean (lol stopped it just after learning how to write the characters, major fail) and Japanese again, and maybe take the JLPT with Elie's guidance.

And piano.

Yes, I just need $400 to fix the broken digital piano that Elie wants to sell to me...

Hahaha it's weird but I haven't felt this independent for the longest time, and to feel this way again is absolutely amazingggg!!! I finally feel so much more in control of myself.

So much shit has happened to me over the past few days, but I'll take it all in my stride and handle it when I need to.

After all this, I really feel that I should treat myself to a nice meal with my bros, or our favourite dessert: gelatoooo. :)

I just wished I had more time to actually bake. Then again, my electric beater spoilt a couple of weeks back, so I'm left with hand-whisking everything I bake and I'm telling you that shit's like a workout. It's like doing arms day at the gym I swear.

So until I get a new electric beater, I won't be baking bigger stuff like cakes :(

Then again, I'll prolly try the macaron recipes I see on Bryon Talbott's YouTube channel! He does it in such small quantities, all without an electric beater!

I've been hooked on watching cooking and baking videos by the likes of Bryon Talbott, the guys of SORTED (like Ben. Oh Ben you're such a cute geek I love you), and more recently, Donal Skehan.

Guys that can bake (and cook) are just... *inserts heartshaped eyes and mouth opened with drool dripping down here*

Oh well, here's a happy picture of me in Korea to end off this post. Abrupt ending as I have costume shopping to do!

Picture of me in Korea because I really miss this place and I can't wait to head back there when I can! Wait for me, Korea! :)

4:31am Thoughts

It amazes me how time really flies by when you don't notice it.
So earlier on, the hot weather here in Singapore chased me into my room (where I turned on the air-conditioning, despite my horrible cough). I looked at my clock and figured, yeah it's only 2:50am now, I guess I could look for a few more songs on YouTube before I go to bed.
The next thing I knew, I looked up only to realise it was already 3:55am.
Ugh, time.
Was planning to try baking macarons for tomorrow.
After 4 attempts, I feel as though it was my fate – I was made to eat and enjoy them, not bake them...
..then I found Bryon Talbott on YouTube.
Words can't describe what a relief it was to find someone who made making macarons (whoa that's a mouthful) so simple. Plus his recipes are small in terms of quantity. I suppose that would make my heart ache a lot less whenever I have to throw out all my ruined macaron mixtures. Almond meal IS NOT CHEAP.
So yes, if I am able to find the time (and the piping bags) I need to try making macarons for the 5th time tomorrow... then again I have to make a trip to my workplace to submit my time sheet, meet Sam and Chuhui at City Hall after for Sushi Express, and then go costume shopping.
It's hard to believe that our competition's only 8 days away.
Do come down to sarpork my awesome crew if you're free!
Deets: 21st June 2014 (Saturday) Bishan Junction 8 Atrium, Level 2 2pm
This is the first time I'm participating in a competition so close to home and I'm so thankful for that kind of luck! Even more thankful when I found out that stage runs would be from 8am-10am!

On a random sidenote, my life seems to be getting back on track.
I've been a wreck for the longest time. Each time I thought things were starting to look up and started having a bit of hope, I realised how much I was trying to lie to myself. 
Trust me, that feeling's just plain horrible.
I finally decided to pack and clear out some stuff in my room, which hasn't been neat since my birthday 2 months ago. I would wake up every morning stepping on/kicking/tripping/stumbling over something on the ground, which annoyed the shit out of me.
Well you know what they say, if you have a cluttered room, it says something about how your life is at the moment.
I've also found a bit more inspiration of late, and also feel as though my independence is slowly coming back to me, so hurrah!
Another situation has been bogging me down. Then again I'm glad we're both willing to work it out!
While life isn't completely awesome right now, I'll take what I can and be thankful for it. :)