G E E B E E ▲ ∆



Gwendolyn N.
26 years young, a dreamer struggling ever so slightly to not let the world's negativities consume her.


Tuesday, May 14, 2013

想当年2。。。

So I came home today and unpacked everything from my bag only to notice this..

No extra points for guessing what my favourite colour is!

I still have my red pouch from my mom and extra red notebook from Joey (for Christmas! Think I've yet to properly thank you so Joeyeyey if you ever see this – thank you! And I miss you and your face that are now in Aussie boo....).

Tried to clear some stuff and while looking through my folders I found lots of old photos. Just had to post these up:



I looked so derpy (but cute) with my short hair + center parting.

Still remember how we took these during our field trip to Little India in pri 6.. some of the best times of my life thus far.

Ironically, Rachel P. and I hated each other back then. The silliest argument we had – so silly I still vividly remember it now – was when we had some sort of a free period? It started like this if I remember correctly:

Me: YOU STUPID PREFECT!!!
Rachie: YOU THEN STUPID LA.

And we continued hurling stuff like that each other while squatted around a table (I think we were discussing class work or something with one of our classmates.. might've been Cel). So the person seated at the table was all "o_o" at us haha.

Rachel has no recollection of the argument whatsoever though.

Some best friend huh?


But all's well.. hehehe Cel and her lion hair.

I really miss the both of them. We have a Whatsapp chat group that we hardly use now cuz we're all so busy just being in SP/NUS – both my bestfriends are smart. Hurry back from New York with our Princeton University tees Rachie! :>

"Yeah I got into Princeton University.....

.. to sightsee."

That's my bestfriend for you. Think I know where I got my errrrrrrrr ok moments from.

Since I have nothing better to do, I shall revise what we've learnt last year in Design Thinking/The Agency since my group was working on it today for FYP:

PERSONA

GUILTY GWEN

Age: 20 (boy am I old)
Education: Student of Diploma in Media and Communications (DMC) in SP
Allowance: $80/week

LIKES:
  • Dancing
  • Reading
  • Aesthetically pleasing things
  • Photography + Videography
  • Hands-on learning
  • Having personal time
  • Hanging out with friends
  • Playing games
  • Sappy dramas
  • Being free
  • Slacking at home

DISLIKES
  • Morning commute to school
  • Ugly powerpoint slides
  • The fact she hasn't signed up for BTT
  • Theory-based learning
  • Being too busy
  • Lack of sleep
  • Sloppiness
  • Last minute arrangements
  • Being constrained
  • Camping in school for projects
  • Having too much to worry about

Need Statement:

"I need to not be late for Monday's FYP classes."

Okay jokes aside, I really need to find a way to be on time for Laura's Monday FYP tutorials. I think she has this impression that I am #foreverlate cuz last year when she took over for Ms Sherin, never once was I on time.

I think it's the Curse of Ms Laura. I've improved a lot in terms of reaching before the 15min grace period when Sherin was still teaching us SOCM!

MUST. BE. ON. TIME.

I think she only marked me present for our first FYP tutorial. Other than that I've always ran in after the 15-minute mark so she always marks me absent. Sighpie. Technically I can't "skip" anymore Monday classes without MC cuz I've already used up my 25% attendance?

Ah well.


Can't wait to see The Legency on Wednesday at Steffi's for group discussion cuz Stoofee De Doofee bought cupcakes from Spatula Bakery while her Writing Lab group was there to conduct the interview with the owner!

Hehehe she got me the Milo Dinosaur one (knowing my love for chocolate).

And Aruah (Arynah) baked/got(?) us pretty cupcakes too from yesterday! I LOVE MY GROUPMATES HEHEHE.

The day they get me a box of macarons will be the day I officially declare my love for them and their haram-ness. Tak halal ah sia babi!

Shall bake soon, but I can't figure out what to try.

Maybe I should work on my frosting skills again? But frosting's a bitch to play with really.

Here's my annoying face before I head to watch K-On and hopefully fall asleep while doing so.


Ah well. Goodnight from my stuffed toy dog and I!


p.s. WATCH THIS!! Steffi and I couldn't get enough of it.


I LOVE YOU LITTLE MIX

Friday, May 10, 2013

The Very Best





So I just saw these photos on Facebook from Edward's album.

"The very last sailing inter-school for MF"

Looking at the photos of the juniors placing their medals on Jhing.. heh I don't even know how to describe how I feel right now.

I really miss her. She was honestly the best coach ever out of the 2-3 coaches my batch had. Can't believe she still contacts my batch to go down and help officiate the regattas (and we get paid, yay).


SIN442 guys! Old sail, old sail hehe


Gotta love this photo of Jack and Justin helping pull a boat back to the wash point. I miss the sails I used for interschools!


Did a photoshoot with my practicum groupmates today for the visuals of our video podcast CA1.


Once again, surviving a long day on 3 hours of sleep!

(The fact that I came to school with my dress on backwards prolly proves that I lack sleep. But whatever biatchez I am cool like that hurhur.)

Dad sent me to school today though. His first day back in Singapore and he's already back to his old routine of sending my brother and I to school. Really glad that he's back for the week!



P A L E T T E  P R O D U C T I O N S 2013

Hamka: "Do you know why people urinate in private?"
Arynah and I: "No, why?"
Hamka: "Cuz urin-secure, don't know what for!"

I can gladly announce that I have found someone as lame as I am.

C'mon people, match my sense of humour HAHAHA.

And now I'm actually contemplating going for the blood donation that the SP Red Cross has on today. 

I'm absolutely terrified of/abhor needles though so I'll just sit here and freeze to death instead while waiting for my classmates to be done with their individual group discussions. Then I won't have to put myself through the horror of thinking about the whole thing (I'm such a weakling ugh).

Yeap.. that sounds like a good idea.

Wednesday, May 08, 2013

YES!!!!!


I MADE IT

I. MADE. IT!!!!

*does a little happy dance in room*

Well I did mention on Sunday that I would come here to brag if the results were satisfactory.

So hello Recognize Studios Recital Vol. 2, girls' hip hop item!


When I got G48 as my audition number I had a hunch that I would make it somehow, or that my day would go well. It's stupid, I know, but there's just something special about seeing my favourite number during important moments. I guess I really love/am fated with the number 48?


I mean, look at what number I got for last year's Waves auditions!

It's fate I tell ye!


On Monday I was helping out with the hip hop auditions (300+ people signed up wow I can't even find the word to describe how exhausted we were) and Geisel suddenly came to me in the middle of it to share the good news cuz she got in for the reggae item.

We were just standing there infront of all the people auditioning, squealing (in our usual oh-we're-in-our-own-world fashion) and hugging.


On the downside, aku was down with fever from Monday night.

Haven't felt so shitty in a while, but I guess I deserve it. With all the late nights and stress, t's no wonder I gained 2kg since school reopened. My body definitely reacts to bad treatment 'well'.

Guess Monday was the trigger point. 

Here's how my crazy day went (if y'all even bother):

Went to school on 3hrs of sleep. After class, The Legency had FYP discussion from 11-1pm before consultation with Ms Laura. Had lunch and caught Shinhwa's SNL Korea skits with Steffi (hehehe) before sleeping for like, 10mins in The Agency. THEN I had SPACE Media CA1 discussions with my group from 3-5 before heading off to meet some of my batchmates to learn the choreo from AnAn for the hip hop auditions till 6.30pm.

After that the first batch of auditionees came in and we taught, and taught, and taught, and taught..

And danced, and danced, and danced, and danced...... till the last batch which came in at about 9pm?

As if that wasn't a hectic enough day, my batch then had AGM training till 11pm WITHOUT STOPPING. We were all dying (especially those who helped with ze auditions), starving and whatnot. 

The moment I got off 74 and trudged back home.. I totally felt like I was gonna collapse. Then I found out I had fever so yay me!

I really do deserve a slap cuz I even went to school today for performance rehearsals.

Sigh.

Oh well, after AGM on the 15th I solemnly swear to get some rest.. or not. That's when FYP will be crazy for me so yeah here we go again.

Gotta be up in 4 hours to go for another round of rehearsals before our performance for DMC Connect 2013, so g'night folks!

Sunday, May 05, 2013

Team Mayflower Sailing

Hi all!

Did something for the first time in my life today. Can't believe how nervous I was. I even blanked out ugh but I hope everything was.. okay?

Tomorrow. 7pm. The most crucial moment in my life thus far.

Gonna check and check and check and pray that we've made it! Went there half-hearted and not even anywhere near serious, but the moment I set the ball rolling I felt like I wanted to follow through and boy am I extremely determined to! Only when the results are satisfactory will I come here and brag about it hehehe.

And we have 300+ people auditioning for SDZ's Hip Hop side tomorrow, and I'm one of those helping out from my batch. Oh boy, it's gonna be a tiring day with training before and after the auditions.

I'm back to the Wave-period days. Felt extremely exhausted all the time.

Sha asked me about my knees today, told how he used to run marathons on top of dancing and one day his knee busted after a marathon. He ended up being hospitalized for 2 months :( I don't want to get to that stage with my knees :(:(:( I promise to stop jogging ok?

Laoma told me the only way it'll be okay again is to completely rest, then she thought about it for a while and said, "But actually as dancers we all know we will never actually get that rest la hor." to which Sha agreed.

So okay..

A little warning: This is a really long-ass post dedicated to my CCA in secondary school.

Since MFSS Sailing has closed down I decided that I should prolly write about it. As much as most of us are all hurt that the sailing team is now.. gone, I was just thinking about how much there is to be proud of.

For one, it has shaped me to be who I am now.

And I. Regret. NOTHING!


So I recently had a reunion with some of the Mayflower sailors.


T'was so good to see Mrs Sidhu again (green)!

These guys were my first bros, the first people to protect me like a little sister (my batch did, at least. Well hey we only had 2 girls), the people that taught me to cuss, the first people to actually physically fight infront of me, who mocked my soccer skills, who ran by my side during sailing PT when my fitness and health were damn shitty..






These people were my first 2nd family :')

It felt amazing seeing them all once again. As we gathered around the bar and talked (as I, in my usual unglam-ness, sat on the bar's counter by the sink like a boss), it was obvious we all missed our sec1-4 days. Especially those from my batch.

It's amazing how fast time flies by cuz the guys spent most of their time talking about the army, while the females talked girly stuff and how we all thought of signing on to the army.

I knew it. 

Sailing females are prolly some of the females in Singapore who would wanna sign on and I have no idea why. Are we that gungho??! I know we get tough from all the physical training, carrying our heavy, water-filled boats back up to shore, putting them on racks taller than ourselves and being out at sea for 5-6 hours every time.. BUT STILL.



Guys, a byte (the class of dinghy I sail) weighs roughly 45kg when it's empty.

Add on the sail, mast, daggerboard, tiller and tiller extension, ropes and oooooh let's not forget the seawater that the boat loves to collect in the hull while out at sea, it'll prolly be 51kg or so by the time we come back to shore.

So yeah we are tuff alright :)

We used to love the fact that in MFSS, it was only the sailing females would do proper pushups and not girl pushups during stuff like.. say, PE. Thanks to Mrs Sidhu who made sure that the guys and girls got equal treatment in terms of physical training. I remember how I felt when we had our first PT and she told us that sailors weren't allowed to do the female style pushups.


Look at Nic Wong and David doing pullups after coming back to school from NSC. Think this was from the 2008 June sailing camp.

The scene one would see after the bus reaches school at 7.30pm from a typical day of training out at sea would be:

1) Sailors grab bags, barang barang, sails etc. and run out of bus
2) Sailors drop bags by the pond at the foyer and sprint to the fitness corner (sailors love sprinting)
3) Guys start doing their pullups, while girls partner up to do 20 assisted pullups each and at least attempt 2-3 unassisted pullups
4) When done sailors will sit at the parade square and wait for the remaining sailors to be done with theirs
5) Teachers i/c would make us do after-sailing-PT and we would make so much noise as we all went "DOWN! ONE. DOWN! TWO. DOWN! THREE." like some uniform group.


I remember how David once tried to be funny by being weatherman while we were on the way to NSC from school and they predicted that it would rain and/or have no wind.

Ms Cheng said that if it came true he would owe her pumping, and true enough when we got to NSC the flags there weren't moving at all! Plus there was a storm while we were out at sea, so he owed her 240 pumpings hahaha.

And how we once owed the 'chers 200+ too for being late + rigging up our boats really slowly. We were supposed to launch by 2pm or so but most of us only got our boats in the water by 3 or so. When we got to school Ms Cheng made us sprint and counted, for every second we had to do 10 extra pumpings T_T

Think the last person took almost 6 seconds to reach the fitness corner ugh.

Our arms died that day, like we had to break it up into sets of 60.

(Speaking of which, I can't even do 60 in one shot now)

Okay there's too much to share so here's a quick trip down memory lane.

Anyone remembers what seems to be THE worst 'buang' case in MFSS sailing history?


This.

Goodness I remember how this would've cost him a horrifying $700 or so to repair right? It was as long as his forearm and we could see (and smell) the inside of the hull. Wonder how his boat didn't sink, and  he must've had a fun time sitting there draining his boat. We used to say stuff like, "My boat's peeing la." whenever we emptied our boat after removing the bung.

It's as if the bung doesn't help cuz in the end the hull still collects a shitload of water and makes our boats damn heavy.




And how we had to study together at night during camp as our teachers in-charge always emphasized on how we had to excel in both our studies and in sailing?


Farhana took this photo of us during camp. I'm right at the other end in blue HAHAHA. 

This was prolly 1/3 of the girls (guys always slept in the classrooms). It's no wonder they changed the recruiting system for sec ones so that we could get more females in.



And how we always took part in dragonboat regattas every year?

Majority of the girls in the photo aren't actually sailors. We didn't have enough females to send out, so Mrs Sidhu had to recruit some people from other CCAs.


Best part was that we won something almost every year so yay us!

And our Krabi trip back in 2008 or so for camp.

It was my second time overseas with the sailors and we absolutely loved Krabi.





...and this photo of me which gave everyone a good laugh.

We had to abseil down this mountain after trekking through it, bat shit and all. It was way higher than the usual abseiling wall we would do in Mayflower (see, who said sailors were just sailors? We wakeboarded, abseiled, dragonboating, windsurfing, swam.. so thankful for teachers who tried to make our journey so much more amazing), and I was panicking like hell. I almost cried!

Then they went ahead to print this photo and happily pasted it on our sailing CCA board. Very funny guys.

So many memories from the Krabi trip. First time I jumped into the sea from about 2 stories up too. It really hurt though!




And all the medals we won every year.

Man.. I think most of the medals and trophies in my cupboard are from sailing and from running for Unicorn house during Sports Day.

Oh here's a random story:

During this year's CASS FOC, I was some crazy mother/makcik during our nightwalk. Syara and I got bored so we went to find Nasir and Gab at their station.

So as I was there scaring the freshies at camp, this girl who had to do the task at their station came to get the envelope from me and I started running away from her, screaming "YOU'RE NOT MY CHILD. GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME, YOU'RE NOT MY CHILD!!!!!"

She suddenly told me, "Please!!! PLEASE GIVE ME THE CLUE I AM FROM MAYFLOWER ALSO!!!!!!" and I just totally dropped character and stood there not knowing how to react.

Nasir had to come over to take the envelope from me to continue and he was like, "Gwen, Gwen, give me give me." I was literally standing there, mouth open and all. It was damn funny I swear.

Later I went to ask the junior how she knew me cuz I didn't recognise her at all, plus I don't know anyone from like, a batch before her onwards. And she was saying how people do mention my name plus like the sailors still talk about me.

Syara was like, "Cheh cheh someone's a popular kid ah!"

-_-

It was funny how that girl just used the whole Mayflower thing to stop me being in character, thinking I would pass her the clue. Oh well thanks Nasir for saving me and my makcik self HAHAHA

Okay here's another abrupt ending cuz I realised I've spent about 2 hours on this blog post and I have school at 8am tomorrow. Attendance hasn't been good for my FYP module tutorials ughhhh.






The one batch that made life so much so much more enjoyable. I love you brudders!

These were the people who were always there for me, whom I ate during recess with, talked nonsense with and learnt loads from. They made secondary school life so much better :)


"The race is never over 'til you've crossed the finishing line"

Better to cross than to DNF, DNC or worse.. OCS!

Friday, May 03, 2013

SDZ BBoy Auditions 2013


Thank you Richard for the awesome video!

I've picked the right successor for my Head of Publicity + Production role :')

I can actually see myself in some parts here and there (cue the oh nooooo's) from my audition.

After Effects of After Effect


This is my I'm-so-bored-in-class-I'm-Photoboothing-even-though-I-sit-right-infront-of-my-lecturer face.

From this photo I can derive at a few things:

  1. My hair hasn't grown much ugh it looks so short here :(
  2. I'm bored to the point I'm blogging again.
  3. The 3 hours of sleep's not doing any good for my face. Infact I haven't been resting much at all.
  4. My skin's getting better after months of breakouts, so.. yay!

If I had Visual Design every school day I'd get my blogging bug back. I'm so bored cuz I have no classes on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. When I tell my juniors that they all go on about how their Year 2 timetable's basically shit and all I do is sit there, trying to empathize.

Oh well, been there done that. I had 8am classes every day in year 2.

As for today, I blame the fact my lecturer's After Effects files can't be opened on my MacBook.

It's like, information overload much. I see why Ashwind told me it was okay that I overslept for yesterday's class (which was also another After Effects tutorial by the same 'guest' lecturer) cuz he was talking about how dry the lesson was and how everyone just gave up halfway. Everyone's just tweeting about how bored they are.

I'm not even halfway done sigh cuz I had to meddle with all the files that didn't work on AE for me so thank goodness this isn't some examinable subject and that I don't find it a must to use After Effects for my group's CA1 video podcast.

We're so bored that Amanda, Syark and I are tweeting about how Syark farted in class. Real classy guys, real classy guys. :)


Plus it doesn't help that it's so cold in class, my knees are aching real bad.

Mom told me she pities whoever marries me in future cuz we'd be spending a lot on medical bills. Dancers and our dancers' bodies sigh.

I've not had the chance to rest my knees recently due to trainings for our SDZ AGM and all, and right now it hurts to walk and cross my legs again, so I presume I'm back to square one. Physio has been good but I need to find time to go for treatments too so that it'll heal faster. Don't want this to drag till Waves trainings especially since I hope to finally choreograph an item this year.

Okay yay we're finally doing something new and interesting! Bye guys!

p.s. I'm panicking over something and I don't even know why.

The Story of my Life (thus far)

I recently saw an ad on television for some competition. 

Can't remember what it was all about, but the lines I remember hearing were "Send in your entries about what your passion ... and win a trip to-"

Passion.

Where do I even begin with this?

Alright, I know:
"Where has my passion taken me thus far?"

I've been on a really long journey with dance. There have been a lot of ups and of course a lot of downs that followed.

Being a Year 3 student studying Media and Communications (a course known to be project-heavy), I realised I couldn't devote all my time to dance and SDZ anymore.

"And you auditioned to be a junior for bboy? Oh the irony."

I don't know. I can't say my journey with dance has been a smooth one, and right now I can't help but feel conflicted with myself.

Before I continue, I just wanna say this to some people that I've really hurt badly over this whole thing with dance, or to anyone I've neglected in Year 1-2 as a result of being too devoted to dance when my passion took off for real the moment I passed my auditions for SDZ and became one of the 50 (and sadly the number's now reduced to 11) of my batch to actually get the chance to be a part of this amazing CCA.

Not like y'all read my blog anymore I guess.

I've kept this bottled up for the longest time ever, and nothing hurts me more to know how many people I've lost when I swore to make dance my career. That includes family.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it was a stupid thing to do nor am I implying that I don't love dance anymore.. it's just that I've recently become jaded. My love for dance is still there, no questioning that, but my "GO JE!" attitude for it has been worn thin.. really thin.

Just because I don't talk about it doesn't mean I don't regret anything. With each and every passing day all I feel is guilt and regret, and yet I don't have the balls to do shit about it as much as I want to.

Either that, or I actually do something about it but end up screwing it up further. I spend my nights crying knowing that I can't salvage the situation anymore.

I miss all my old friends from Mayflower, especially my old clique of girls whom I grew up with. 

I may always talk about and be thankful for my best friends from Aitong, or my other cliques of girlfriends I met in MFSS, but deep down inside I always think and thank God for this particular group of girlfriends because they were there for me at my lowest, which was when I flunked my "O" Levels. They studied with me almost every day, we had the best laksa yong tau fu together.. good times.

Even my closest friends from poly know about them, and when someone brings them up either I or another person in the clique would go, "EH SENSITIVE TOPIC, SENSITIVE TOPIC!"

I've had this bottled up since the end of Year 1.

All I have to say is that I was an idiot, I became a jerk and got too high and mighty when I got recognised for my talents as I've always loved dance since primary 3, and I am truly sorry.

One day.. one day.

Okay enough of my digression.

There have been too little 'ups' and too many 'downs' of dance.

I played too much in my first year of poly. My friends always told me to focus more in the first year but I never took their advice in. I danced too much, neglected my studies too much. Became known in DMC as either the girl with a big bag that contains all her dance clothes (I once carried around the army backpack so that I could lug my thick sweatpants around instead of having to carry around a bag, a shoebag and a laptop case), or the girl who always had dance.

I was never in school during the Waves production period due to rehearsals or due to the fact I was too exhausted from spending 8-10 hours having intensive training in school every other day.

I would always prioritize my dance friends over any other group of friends.

One friend even told me once (as we discussed why I have been single for about 2 years) that I had not dated for such a long time because my life was devoted to dance. I had no time to get to know people, no time to hold conversations with anyone who wasn't a dancer. 

"Of course you've been single la!" she exclaimed.

Sigh.


Then again there are the 'ups' I can never be thankful enough for.

To become part of the uh-mazing SDZ Committee for AY12/13, to have performed countless times and in 2 Waves productions.. to be in such a position when others could only dream of it. Wow.

I had so much fun and it won't stop here for sure. Waves 18 is coming up!

The highlight of my dance 'career' thus far was the day we had one of our first vettings for Waves 16. Me being me, I had no idea what to expect and just danced with lots of passion and heart, and Ryan called me his "Favourite Dancer", or "F.D.", as Unkle termed it.

I can never forget how during the debrief, he said out of the hundreds of dancers sitting there in MPH, only 2 stood one. One was an alumni and the other was – surprisingly – me.

How I stood there crying because he told the rest to learn from me, what with a 100% attendance and all and how I gave my all even though this was just a vetting.

What an honour.

I spent the next few hours crying tears of joy and receiving hugs and congratulations from my SDZ mates.


This year has been an amazing year, no doubt.

I'm extremely thankful I got to reconnect with my sailors again thanks to Whatsapp (which I have this strong love-hate relationship for).

As I type this right now, David and Jack are going on and on about which university to go to after army, what course to study and all. It's quite amusing because I know I will be that girl that could never enter NUS or NTU as much as I want to, which makes me feel stupid compared to my cousins who were and currently are RGS, RI, RJC, HC, St. Nics and ACS(I) kids.

But hey, it's okay. I'll find some way to succeed in life.

(Dad's still against the idea of me taking a year off after poly to attend a dance academy in New York, but I'm working on it.)


This year, I've learnt to set aside more time for myself, my close friends, my sailors, my family.

I'm trying to be more positive, to not let what I've done haunt me. I used to laugh off the mistakes I made while doing choreos during training, now I dance as if there was this invisible gun pointed to my head.

I need to stop taking everything so seriously.

I'm still on a never-ending journey with dance, but heck, I'm now trying to find the old Gwen from Mayflower who couldn't stop smiling and being a goofball 24/7.


Before I end off this blog post and say goodnight (gotta be up in 4hrs), here's a photo of me and Liyi's ootd after FYP class on Monday.

We coincidentally wore matching outfits!

There has been absolutely nothing to do in school right now that even the idea of going to school bores me. Thank goodness the practicum I chose was a good one as compared to the others (Agency Startup, Writing Lab, some self-study project thing, Centre for Social Media).

So guys, if you're from DMC and aren't too sure of which practicum to choose when you're in Year 3, please, please PLEASE pick Space Media.

I can't wait to see my Legency girls and – now with Glenn in our FYP group – guy tomorrow after practicum. It sucks that out of all of us in The Legency, I was the only one to choose Space Media sigh but I'm thankful I have quite a few 01 peeps there.

From DMC/FT/1A/01, to 1B/01.... now we're at DMC/FT/3A/01.. wow, I've been with them for 3 years.

Time flies, huh?


Goodnight!

Oh wait, that's a photo of Nasir.


p.s. Have you seen this video the Year 2 DMC kiddos did for DMC Connect 2013?

Look at Fil and AJ. Cute la you two!

I miss my CASS Freshmen Orientation Camp (FOC) mates sooooooo much :(

Wednesday, May 01, 2013

Hi


A couple hours back I was exhausted to the point that I actually fell asleep while riding my bike earlier on with my bro.

..and now I'm just awake. Well okay 75% awake.

Was thinking of whether to catch up on 2 Broke Girls or to start watching the new show that I downloaded, when my playlist titled "Anime" started playing on my iTunes. Now I really have this urge to rewatch Gundam Seed and Gundam Seed Destiny again. But that'll mean I would've watched both about 5 times or so? I SOUND LIKE AN ADDICT.

It's amazing how this anime goes all the way back to when I was still primary 5 in Aitong School and it played on.. what was the channel? really late in the night. Cel and I went crazy over it, like we could discuss it all day long in school the next day. I think she still has the box sets from Poh Kim!

I really regret not buying them in the past even though I bought the ones produced for Shaman King.. but oh well, there's always the Internet!

And oh, I really did fall asleep for a short moment while riding my bike.

Closed my eyes and the next thing I knew I found myself riding on the bumpy grass in Bishan Park, which was what woke me up.

Makes me quite sad that I get tired by 10-11pm nowadays, it's like I won't be able to jog/workout/go midnight cycling around the Upper Thomson area, all of which I love doing after 11pm cuz it's really quiet and the roads are empty. :( sigh.

Was supposed to go to USS with Chan, Chan's brother and Daryl + his bboy crew tomorrow but it turns out most of us backed out, which I feel really bad about.

Isn't it amazing how small the world is?

Turns out Daryl knows my brother AND Chan's brother, and they actually sesh bboy together. Like they're kinda in the same crew and all?

Chan and I always thought that our brothers didn't know each other cuz, well, what are the chances? The SG dance scene may be really small but it's not like everyone will know everyone.

Met Daryl at the SDZ bboy auditions and he was like, "Are you Gwen? I'm Daryl, Chan Huei's friend." Small world small world SMALL WORLD.

I really hope I made it through the auditions for bboy.

I've never felt so nervous about something dance-related in the past 2 years and to suddenly feel that adrenaline rush.. that feeling where you want something so bad that you tremble just trying out for it. Wow. Sam came to me and was like "DUDE CALM DOWN MAN WERE YOU THIS NERVOUS WHEN YOU AUDITIONED FOR HIP HOP IN YEAR 1?!" and I was like, "Er, duh Sam! I want this so bad."

Then again, I figured if I didn't get it, it might be a good thing due to my knee. My physiotherapy session today was quite a waste of time but it's good to hear that my stability's getting better. Kneecaps still wobbly though, and my physiotherapist scowled at me in this damn-gurl-you-ain't-meant-to-dance when he heard I would prolly be doing a lot of dancing if I get into bboy.

Makes me wonder where all that spunk, drive and passion for dance went.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Ugly Commuters

I have no idea how I should go about saying this, but..

*deep breath*

I find Singaporean commuters really, really horrible.

(And really, REALLY ugly.)


If you haven't scrolled down yet to see how massively long this post is, be warned, be very afraid, because this my friends, is a wordy, ranting post.


I noticed this way back, but it's only after I started wearing my knee brace that I saw how truly uggggghley they are.

It's like, sure, I may not be in a cast or walking around with the aid of crutches, but I wear this knee brace for a reason. It would be nice if those people sitting there pretending to 1) be asleep or 2) be busy reading and fumbling around for things would kindly let me sit down because standing the whole train ride sometimes makes my knees hurt and burn.

I'm not joking. They burn.

Guilty yet? No? Okay join the other hundreds of people I've met who have graciously pretended that my knee brace was invisible.

Y'know, the ironic thing is that the only person thus far to actually have a heart and a sense of awareness to those around him/her was prolly not a local (she was..... probably from China).

She actually looked guiltily at me as I stood there with my mom in the cabin and kindly asked, "Your leg.. do you need to sit? Really? No?"

So for those who have been thinking oh how awful these Chinamen are or oh they are just the worst! What scum and stuff really need to reflect. Are they really the ugly ones here in Singapore?


The worst experience I've had so far was, ironically, on a bus. (Did I mention it was on my 20th birthday?)

I say 'ironically' because of the fact that when I take this bus at this particular hour, it's usually empty. Which is why I take it in the first place so that I can actually avoid standing on the train with the Ugly Commuters.

So okay, I was standing there. No big deal, my knees are fine, totally holding their own and being strong, screaming "YES GWEN, YOU CAN DO IT YOU GO GURL GO GO GO YOU ARE STRONGGGGGG!"

Then slowly, I felt them ache. Their words droning on in my head like a cheerleading squad losing their mojo and their spunk.

So okay, I turn around, and someone gets up, obviously about to alight.

OOH A SEAT. NICE.

Just as I was about to go sit down, this dude around my age standing beside me (infront of the seat) QUICKLY RUSHES TO IT like some aunty rushing into a mall having 90% off, MALL-WIDE.

Then he happily puts his bag on his lap and sinks into the seat as a way of saying, "Ah yes this is the trophy I rightfully deserve for running 20cm to it."

I just stood there thinking, er, okay???? Like dude, I'll find another seat since my journey to SP is almost 45 minutes long.

A few stops later, this other person sitting at the back of the bus gets off and I'm like, YES! A SEAT! and as I made my way to the back (I was standing at the back door of the bus), this other HUNKY, MUSCULAR GUY/MAN/DUDE (highly emphasized because I want you to hear me screaming at the other end of the computer screen) – again, around my age – RUSHES PAST ME like another aunty who spotted that there was a sale going on at the opposite end of the road, and he rushes to the seat and sits down.

He then repeats what Guy #1 did, as if to tell me HAH YOU SNOOZE YOU LOSE. SUCK IT.

At this point of time I was already getting grumpy because my knees were feeling the strain.

Then I finally got a seat.

Well done, Gwen. Give yourself a pat on the back. You totally deserve it.

Like, it totally infuriates me!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello? Can y'all stop pretending that my knee brace is invisible and actually be kind enough like the lady who offered me her seat?

I feel totally ashamed that Singapore has bred such ill-mannered kids who refuse to put others before themselves. If I saw someone in a knee brace I, too, would stand up to offer my seat.

I don't get it. The two who 'fought' for the seats with me were both healthy males. I understand the whole it's-a-long-ride-I-need-to-sit thing going on with all Singaporean commuters but honestly would it kill you to not fight with a girl?

They were both from the same university too so in my head I was like, okay well done way to go woohoo! in this 100%, totally sarcastic way.


Not that I'm trying to make it seem like I'm a female who feels that males should be submissives and bow down to females. I honestly feel that gender stereotypes shouldn't be strong because well, why label a girl a tomboy just cuz she loves blue and hates pink? Who says a girl MUST like pink and girly stuff?

(This comes from experience as a girl who loved blue as a kid but I've now succumbed and fell in love with all variating shades of red which includes pink)

Ugh okay enough of ranting Gwen.

This initially started off as a post about how I spent my 20th birthday which was on the 8th of April, but look where I totally digressed to hur hur.

Time to write another (happy) post about my 20th birthday.