The Big Groove 2013

Short blog entry/reflection to sum up my TBG 2013 experience before I go to bed:

Mind. Blown.

It's amazing how a concert like this would change and inspire the many dancers who attended it.

(I was about to describe TBG as "one small concert" but then it occured to me how TBG is NOT small at all.)

Someone tweeted about how TBG is like National Day – all the dancers look forward to it plus it's a must watch for us.

It's true I suppose. We have guest performers from all over the world and they rehearse so hard just for one night like that that unites dancers everywhere. I look forward to every year's TBG more than I do NDP.. damn.

My mindset for dance hasn't been quite right this year.

I was always tempted to leave just because.

Just because I felt like I didn't belong.
Just because I felt lonely in a room full of people.
Just because I felt like my passion was dying.
Just because I felt like my passion was suffocating me.
Just because I felt more miserable trying to get my passion back than anything else.

Then it hit me: stop being such a brat.

"Be more appreciative, Gwen!" I told myself. And now I see myself feeling it all over again, the hunger, the urge, the need to dance and perform, and the need to improve myself to become the music, and not just dance to it.

It's funny how I concluded all this after a few hours in a Suntec convention area, with crazy-ass vibes from everyone in there. The excitement, the chills, everyone's passion for dance oozing to every crack in the wall, every corner in the hall.

The atmosphere.

I LOVED it, and I absolutely missed it.

Strictly Dance Zone is my 2nd-2nd family (the MFSS sailors would always be my 1st-2nd family), and I'm terribly grateful for the chances I've gotten throughout the past 3 years I've been in the club and the people I've met along the way.

It was one hell of a bumpy ride, and as much as I hated it from time to time, I found that I have so much more to be thankful for.


Then I realised that I didn't fall out of love with dance per say..

I got bitch-slapped by reality, that is all.

I need to remember how it felt to dream.. to dream big.

Doing work and listening to this song isn't working at all.

For one, I wanna choreo to this song as a part of the performance we're doing at Chan's aunt's event, so all I'm doing is up-bouncing in my chair like nobody's business CUZ I BE FEELIN' IT.

You gotta admit, the beat's pretty sick and Dea & Kevin are KILLIN' IT.

Two, it's giving me a headache.

The whole mix by DJ Kontrol's 9mins long.

Haven't been feeling well at all today.. eyes burning, throbbing headache and burning + dry throat.

Felt so sick I did what I usually do on days I feel shitty: down as many 1.5l bottles of water as possible. So far I've downed about 3 bottles plus a 600ml one so yeah. On to my 4th 1.5l bottle.

Anywho.

Monday's vetting went pretty well!

Instead of calling ourselves "Year 3s", we finally settled on Little Rascals Crew as our crew name. WHADDUP LRC! *enthusiastically does crew hand sign*

Glad to announce that MPH still felt like home despite it being overly crowded since vetting was for all 3 genres that day. I can confidently say we had over 50 people crammed there on Monday.. felt just like we were doing vetting for Waves :')

Hopefully we'd figure out everything because the event's (InS'ync) on 3rd August, and O Crew's coming down to judge.. like whoa much. To be doing a friendly showcase competition with TPDE's just crazy. Thankful for the experience but also a bit freaked out by it because TPDE has major props and respect from me.

While debriefing, AnAn was like, "How about next Monday we do a combined vetting here with TPDE?" You could see everyone's faces turn from :D to D: in a split second.

Also helped my babies with their babies.

Now before you get me wrong, my babies are the girls from my item for last year's junior showcase.

When I went to join them, Cherie said, "Oh this is Gwen btw. She's the choreographer of last year's girls' hip hop item for junior showcase so it's like.. this is her legacy la haha. Elena and I are her daughters so ya she's your grandma."

I have more grandkids now!

Could see how some of their girls really valued the comments from my batchmates and I (we're kaypoh like that) and some of the alumni, which warms my heart cuz I've heard – and seen – a lot of negative stuff from the new batch from camp alone.

It's crazy cuz we have so much to do in a week and LRC has yet to even settle on the costume. Someone, shoot us please thanks.

Met Joey last Friday for a much needed day out. We went grocery shopping at AMK Hub and she spent so much buying stuff to cook for her JC friends.

She keeps me sane, I swear. She never fails to talk sense into me and I always eventually just calm down while she talks to me. Thank you :* I love you to the moon and back Joey TJY <3 p="">

The past few weeks have been crazy, but I'm glad to say that on an emotional level, I'm a lot better and a lot happier, but I'm drained physically due to the lack of sleep and stress levels increasing.

Would any kind soul out there like to donate a box of macarons to the Gwen Foundation?

Glad we're submitting our final CA for Space Media practicum this Friday. 

I'm on my way to freedom!

Did (Not)

I don't know what to feel.

Just saw the results and I don't know.. I really don't.

Sigh what is wrong with me.

I don't even understand what the hell's going through my head right now. It's a mixture of relief and regret but for now the emotion that hits me most is most definitely regret.

The best part's that I didn't even try. I didn't even bother giving it a shot. Told myself from the start that I would regret it if I got in, but now I regret not even trying so bad.

This is prolly why I always try out for anything and everything without questioning myself.. and the one time I did /not/ try is the one time I finally understand why I always have the "Just go je! Do only je! Try je!" attitude.

Gotta keep my motto in mind: Everything happens for a reason.

It's too late to regret now anyways. I was dumb enough not to give it a shot, totally passed the opportunity up.

Ah well, there's always next year.

All the best to the team! Will be rooting from the sidelines.

At least the start of June has a possibility of being fun, what with the hotel stay with some of my batch's sailors, and Paul – happy graduation! – finally found time to jio me out for L4D yayyyy gonna shoot all those zombies in da head and get the frustration I have at myself done and over with. Herey, herey! Calling all who play L4D and not feel that it's a girl's game! 2 more slots left (to join us)!

And tomorrow I'm gonna see Ryan Higa at the YouTube Fan Fest! Thank you Sicafaise for asking me along even though you won the tix! Love you to the moon and back bbgurl!

I finally saw the 2013 Hip Hop audition video Richard made and even though I spot myself a lot (downside of being one of the few helpers is that you get filmed quite a bit), boy am I proud. The video's so good! Defo chose the right guy to take over my role.

Fell asleep too many times while I was out with the Legency girls earlier.

Left school early only to head straight to SGH.

I even fell asleep during the FYP briefing with SingHealth while we were at SGH.. my actual clients oh God. Thank goodness the other groups were there too but I was in the guy's line of sight sigh.

Steffi took another photo of me sleeping and I finally decided to collate my sleeping photos from just my groupmates alone. Steffi sent me at least 9 photos of me sleeping either in school or while I'm out with her.

Posted a collage of some of the photos and it has almost 60 likes on Instagram eh HELLO GUYS WHY Y'ALL LIKE MY UNGLAMNESS SO MUCH.

I think I'm known as the girl who always falls asleep during Agency mass lecture from last year hahaha oh well I'm sorry that I get really sleepy when the airconditioning's too cold.

Man.. so much to do, too little time.

Gwen, now's not the time to be all OCD and perfectionist all.

Terribly demotivated now.. and a bit feverish.

Till next time.

xx

SDZ BBoy Auditions 2013

Thank you Richard for the awesome video!

I've picked the right successor for my Head of Publicity + Production role :')

I can actually see myself in some parts here and there (cue the oh nooooo's) from my audition.

Waves 17

...... is over. 
A huge thank you to my friends and family that came down to watch the production - I hope it wasn't a letdown!

Out of the two Waves I've been a part of, this was definitely the most trying and tiring. Well I guess I can't say for sure because I've only been a part of two Waves production and not more? But I can dare say I'll never struggle this hard again for other events I'll be a part of.

Broke down so many times, lost myself in the process.

I fought an internal war with myself. All everyone saw were smiles and joy slapped over my face but I died inside with each and every practice, every rehearsal. I isolated myself, made myself more lonely, becoming this person I am totally the opposite of. I was depressed everyday, and nothing I did could make me feel better about myself or my situation.

I hated myself for being this weak.

But I'm thankful I have good friends that brought me back - or rather, slapped me back (not literally) - to reality.

Just in time, too. I worked my ass off for the shirt and the booklet, even though I'd say 90% of the work was all Geisel. She stayed strong when her pub partner crumbled, so thank you. No one else but her saw the struggle I went through but she stuck by me through it all.

A huge thank you to my fellow main comm members, whom I can never thank enough for being such an awesome committee.

I am thankful to be in this batch, this committee.

x

SDZ Presents Waves 17: The Queen: An Untold Fairytale

Singapore Polytechnic's SDZ (Strictly Dance Zone) proudly presents Waves 17: The Queen: An Untold Fairytale.

Giving a twist to the classic fairytale of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, SDZ is bent on telling the world the untold tale that revolves around the common misconception that everyone has of the infamous Queen.

You thought she was the bad guy?


Think again.


------------

Date: 9 November 2012
Venue: Kallang Theatre
Time: 7pm
Ticket Prices: $16 (circle) / $20 (stall)

For ticketing information, please contact Alison at 9877 8397, or Alicia at 9817 3571. Feel free to check with any SDZ member for more information.

Hope to see you there!

http://strictlydancezone.blogspot.sg/p/waves-17-queen-untold-fairytale.html
http://twitter.com/SDZ_Waves17
http://twitter.com/spsdz

Hello Again

Hi guys! Check out the new SDZ Comm 2012 photo. Thought it looked pretty cool after the editing and all.

I may be just the publicity head but hey I do take pride in my role!

Anyways.. a huge warm hello to anyone who still reads this space! I haven't had the time to actually update my blog, as you can see.

This month's been pretty crazy for me, what with all the CA's and SDZ committee stuff for me to do. Trust me when I say the word 'crazy' is sorta underrated to use for such a situation.

On days with committee meetings, I've had to rush back and forth from The Agency (that's where we DMC peeps do work nowadays since most of our classes are there) where my groupmates and I discuss and finish up projects, and to our meeting areas at either Mob or the main library, then rushing back to The Agency again after we're done with our meeting. It's CRAAAAAAAZY!

But hey I enjoy being kept busy, so I consider it a feat because I've never seen myself multi-task so well before.

And oh, congrats to everyone graduating recently! My Facebook timeline has been flooded with photos and albums of people graduating - from SP to NP to NYP and TP! Met a senior of mine after her graduation ceremony and boy did I love that feeling. It made me wish I was graduating too.

A little achievement I've had recently was getting Top 16 for Get Down! Vol. 5. It might not be that big a feat to those reading this now, but over 100+ particpants... and I got Top 16. Not to mention it's only my second public battle. Wow. Once again, it's crazy.

Got such good comments from Zaihar, Daniel and D.T. that it made my day even better!

I came home that night and the first thing I said was "Gerald! GERALDDDDDDDD!"

My brother came out of the room and gave me this confused face. So did my parents. My mom and dad were asking me what's wrong because I'm not the person to affectionately call my brother out of his room first thing when I come home.

The feeling when I calmly said, "Top 16!" and my brother's "OHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" reaction + a hug = priceless

That's how We Roll

SDZ hip hop Senior batch AY12/13

2012, bring it on!

Waves16: Items

The items of Waves16 that I was in! The opening, Val + Jan + Khai's, AnAn's and the finale (I messed up on the first day's finale though, sorry Johnny I didn't walk out on time!)

Damn, I've got mixed feelings now.

Post-#Waves16 Syndrome

I can't believe Waves16 is finally over.

5-6 months of training.. all for the past 2 days. All worth it, really. So grateful to all the friends who came/bought tickets to come (but couldn't make it in the end). Got so many gifts from everyone at the end and it really made my day, can't help but to smile (okay no I actually want to cry tears of joy - AGAIN) when I think of everything and everyone that was there.

For all the people out there who still bother reading my blog.. embrace yourselves. There's gonna be a long-ass post coming up soon with loads of photos from Waves16.

You've been warned..........

SDZ BBQ

This was quite a while back but I thought I should post them up.

Heading over to my gran's place for our reunion dinner in a bit! Can't wait to catch up with my cousins over dinner meh heh heh. Facebook's filled with photos of reunion dinners.

How's your Chinese New Year's Eve going?