The Big Groove 2013

Short blog entry/reflection to sum up my TBG 2013 experience before I go to bed:

Mind. Blown.

It's amazing how a concert like this would change and inspire the many dancers who attended it.

(I was about to describe TBG as "one small concert" but then it occured to me how TBG is NOT small at all.)

Someone tweeted about how TBG is like National Day – all the dancers look forward to it plus it's a must watch for us.

It's true I suppose. We have guest performers from all over the world and they rehearse so hard just for one night like that that unites dancers everywhere. I look forward to every year's TBG more than I do NDP.. damn.

My mindset for dance hasn't been quite right this year.

I was always tempted to leave just because.

Just because I felt like I didn't belong.
Just because I felt lonely in a room full of people.
Just because I felt like my passion was dying.
Just because I felt like my passion was suffocating me.
Just because I felt more miserable trying to get my passion back than anything else.

Then it hit me: stop being such a brat.

"Be more appreciative, Gwen!" I told myself. And now I see myself feeling it all over again, the hunger, the urge, the need to dance and perform, and the need to improve myself to become the music, and not just dance to it.

It's funny how I concluded all this after a few hours in a Suntec convention area, with crazy-ass vibes from everyone in there. The excitement, the chills, everyone's passion for dance oozing to every crack in the wall, every corner in the hall.

The atmosphere.

I LOVED it, and I absolutely missed it.

Strictly Dance Zone is my 2nd-2nd family (the MFSS sailors would always be my 1st-2nd family), and I'm terribly grateful for the chances I've gotten throughout the past 3 years I've been in the club and the people I've met along the way.

It was one hell of a bumpy ride, and as much as I hated it from time to time, I found that I have so much more to be thankful for.


Then I realised that I didn't fall out of love with dance per say..

I got bitch-slapped by reality, that is all.

I need to remember how it felt to dream.. to dream big.

Doing work and listening to this song isn't working at all.

For one, I wanna choreo to this song as a part of the performance we're doing at Chan's aunt's event, so all I'm doing is up-bouncing in my chair like nobody's business CUZ I BE FEELIN' IT.

You gotta admit, the beat's pretty sick and Dea & Kevin are KILLIN' IT.

Two, it's giving me a headache.

The whole mix by DJ Kontrol's 9mins long.

Haven't been feeling well at all today.. eyes burning, throbbing headache and burning + dry throat.

Felt so sick I did what I usually do on days I feel shitty: down as many 1.5l bottles of water as possible. So far I've downed about 3 bottles plus a 600ml one so yeah. On to my 4th 1.5l bottle.

Anywho.

Monday's vetting went pretty well!

Instead of calling ourselves "Year 3s", we finally settled on Little Rascals Crew as our crew name. WHADDUP LRC! *enthusiastically does crew hand sign*

Glad to announce that MPH still felt like home despite it being overly crowded since vetting was for all 3 genres that day. I can confidently say we had over 50 people crammed there on Monday.. felt just like we were doing vetting for Waves :')

Hopefully we'd figure out everything because the event's (InS'ync) on 3rd August, and O Crew's coming down to judge.. like whoa much. To be doing a friendly showcase competition with TPDE's just crazy. Thankful for the experience but also a bit freaked out by it because TPDE has major props and respect from me.

While debriefing, AnAn was like, "How about next Monday we do a combined vetting here with TPDE?" You could see everyone's faces turn from :D to D: in a split second.

Also helped my babies with their babies.

Now before you get me wrong, my babies are the girls from my item for last year's junior showcase.

When I went to join them, Cherie said, "Oh this is Gwen btw. She's the choreographer of last year's girls' hip hop item for junior showcase so it's like.. this is her legacy la haha. Elena and I are her daughters so ya she's your grandma."

I have more grandkids now!

Could see how some of their girls really valued the comments from my batchmates and I (we're kaypoh like that) and some of the alumni, which warms my heart cuz I've heard – and seen – a lot of negative stuff from the new batch from camp alone.

It's crazy cuz we have so much to do in a week and LRC has yet to even settle on the costume. Someone, shoot us please thanks.

Met Joey last Friday for a much needed day out. We went grocery shopping at AMK Hub and she spent so much buying stuff to cook for her JC friends.

She keeps me sane, I swear. She never fails to talk sense into me and I always eventually just calm down while she talks to me. Thank you :* I love you to the moon and back Joey TJY <3 p="">

The past few weeks have been crazy, but I'm glad to say that on an emotional level, I'm a lot better and a lot happier, but I'm drained physically due to the lack of sleep and stress levels increasing.

Would any kind soul out there like to donate a box of macarons to the Gwen Foundation?

Glad we're submitting our final CA for Space Media practicum this Friday. 

I'm on my way to freedom!

June 4th, 4:04AM Inspiration

Forever my favourite S**t Kingz choreo.

Who doesn't love watching 4 charismatic guys dancing with so effortlessly with so much swag and confidence?

And the song choice.. perrrrfect. It's on loop now teehee.

I'm trapped in my room cuz there's a cockroach outside. 

Almost stepped on it when I was on my way to the kitchen to wash the dishes sigh what luck. Just squealed (rather silently) and did this weird thief-tiptoe thing around my dining table so that I could still make it to the kitchen.

2nd night in a row I'm bumping into cockroaches at home SOMEONE SAVE ME.

Ah just as well, gotta be up early tomorrow for Nepal OCIP meeting again and the CASS kids decided to take charge of ice-breakers. Alvin and I are leading hehe. The benefits of having attended too many camps to count (and being Day Games IC for the most recent CASS FOC AY13/14).

Just hope that I would actually hear my name being called when they announce the results of who made the cut on Friday after the trek (which I am super stoked for). Would be real bummed out if I didn't but then again I would be happy cuz that means I can continue being a part of R! Recital Vol. 2.

Would be extremely sad going back to Recognize next Thursday to ask if I could claim back my $20 for the Recital pack. Ugh can't imagine how sad I'd be on the way home.

Guess life still isn't fair.

I'm actually reading back on all the posts labelled "Dance" and I came across my old posts during my Hip Hop 1-3 course period, when I was still close to Jolyn, Daryl, Guohui, Tiffy etc. I'm glad most of them are still dancing now (except the army boys but I was so touched that they came down for last year's Waves 17 to support me, even giving me chocolates) and that I still keep in contact with most of them.

Came across this statement I wrote: 

"Anyone who has really tried to understand my love of dance would know that I've been dreaming of the day I'd join a crew that I could hang out with, dance with and just be myself around since... ever. I guess I've found them ;) We may not be good, our moves not clean, not tight, but at least we're enjoying the experience as it comes!"

I guess that's the main difference between me then and now.

It was always about the experience and just taking things as they come.. but now I always think about the need to please others, how it's a must to at least get into the finals, how I wanna get to at least Top 16 in every battle I join..

I need to stop pressuring myself and giving myself unnecessary stress. I guess it's only then would I be able to truly enjoy and love what I do best again.

I miss that passion I once had.. gotta find it back.

But for now I can't sleep cuz I can't stop thinking about forgoing R! Recital Vol. 2 and it's frustrating me to no end. Can't believe I'm gonna be in camp GL/OC mode tomorrow afternoon on like 4 hours of sleep. Plus SDZ AGM after Nepal OCIP meeting............... fun.

Well the 4:04AM inspiration's definitely working cuz I'm blasting music and freestyling in my room now hehehe.

Saturday!!!!!

Bitter

I feel like such a baby.

I can't believe I'm just sitting here tearing away cuz I know there's nothing I can do about this.

How was I so stupid to not realise that the Nepal OCIP trip clashes with R! Recital Vol. 2? And I was so bloody happy about being a part of it too.

Attending trainings on Thursday nights there are the one thing I look forward to every week – dance-wise. It's the one place I don't feel judged, and the one place I feel like how I was back in the day before I got into SP and SDZ.

Dancing there makes me feel free and sane, like no one would care if I made a mistake this training or scream at me for being the usual klutz I am.

And that's what makes me sad.

Like, I finally found a place where I could be my usual smiley self while dancing, where I laugh off my mistakes and mentally make a note not to do the same mistake the next time I full out, instead of finding a corner to cry everything out (because yes, I've been doing that a lot the past few years).

I'm worried I'll never feel this feeling again.. not for a while at least.

My passion's dying and it makes me really sad to think about it?

Was talking to Arynah about not being as passionate about dance anymore after our OCIP meeting today, and she told me "Actually yeah, can see ah. Like last time when you talk about dance you get all enthu and all. Now you're just like, like that lor."

It's affecting me so badly and I think about it all the time.

I don't look forward to battles anymore, I don't look forward to trainings anymore (infact I skip it whenever possible, and in the past I would turn up 30mins - 1hr early for training), I don't look forward to anything except cyphering and sadly I haven't been attending any sessions so I've yet to properly cypher in months.

Cyphering's the other thing that makes me smile heh. 

Gotta love cypher circles. I still remember how I used to feel songs so easily.. to the point that Ben Chia once played this particular song and everyone let me take the whole song myself just cuz I could. Like freestyling 4mins straight like some crazy person. Whoop whoop that was AMAZING.

Makes me so bloody bitter to think about my dreams of going to NY/LA to dance after graduating. My dream was to teach others and to inspire them to dance. I didn't care about how much it would earn me, I just wanted to teach and spread how joyful dance made me.

OH MY GOD THE RECITAL SONG JUST PLAYED ON MY ITUNES AND IT'S MAKING ME CRY EVEN HARDER WHAT IS THIS.

Well if you can't do anything about it, just cry and get over it. That's what I always think.

I need to stop crying so easily and so often.

I think I'm just burned out from everything last year.

Dancing used to make me feel free, it was a form of self-expression and now I just feel that when I dance it's for PERFORMANCES, to PLEASE PEOPLE, to EARN MONEY. And sadly these reasons were not the reason why I loved dance since I was in pri 3, and not the damned reason why I spent hours locked in my room since then teaching myself through videos on YouTube for 3 whole goddamned years.

I did not love dance since young to feel this way about it. UGH.

At least for now there's the 4v4 battle this Saturday to look forward to. Am pretty confident we won't go far but it's always the experience that matters. Lai lai sarpork sarpork!

Did (Not)

I don't know what to feel.

Just saw the results and I don't know.. I really don't.

Sigh what is wrong with me.

I don't even understand what the hell's going through my head right now. It's a mixture of relief and regret but for now the emotion that hits me most is most definitely regret.

The best part's that I didn't even try. I didn't even bother giving it a shot. Told myself from the start that I would regret it if I got in, but now I regret not even trying so bad.

This is prolly why I always try out for anything and everything without questioning myself.. and the one time I did /not/ try is the one time I finally understand why I always have the "Just go je! Do only je! Try je!" attitude.

Gotta keep my motto in mind: Everything happens for a reason.

It's too late to regret now anyways. I was dumb enough not to give it a shot, totally passed the opportunity up.

Ah well, there's always next year.

All the best to the team! Will be rooting from the sidelines.

At least the start of June has a possibility of being fun, what with the hotel stay with some of my batch's sailors, and Paul – happy graduation! – finally found time to jio me out for L4D yayyyy gonna shoot all those zombies in da head and get the frustration I have at myself done and over with. Herey, herey! Calling all who play L4D and not feel that it's a girl's game! 2 more slots left (to join us)!

And tomorrow I'm gonna see Ryan Higa at the YouTube Fan Fest! Thank you Sicafaise for asking me along even though you won the tix! Love you to the moon and back bbgurl!

I finally saw the 2013 Hip Hop audition video Richard made and even though I spot myself a lot (downside of being one of the few helpers is that you get filmed quite a bit), boy am I proud. The video's so good! Defo chose the right guy to take over my role.

Fell asleep too many times while I was out with the Legency girls earlier.

Left school early only to head straight to SGH.

I even fell asleep during the FYP briefing with SingHealth while we were at SGH.. my actual clients oh God. Thank goodness the other groups were there too but I was in the guy's line of sight sigh.

Steffi took another photo of me sleeping and I finally decided to collate my sleeping photos from just my groupmates alone. Steffi sent me at least 9 photos of me sleeping either in school or while I'm out with her.

Posted a collage of some of the photos and it has almost 60 likes on Instagram eh HELLO GUYS WHY Y'ALL LIKE MY UNGLAMNESS SO MUCH.

I think I'm known as the girl who always falls asleep during Agency mass lecture from last year hahaha oh well I'm sorry that I get really sleepy when the airconditioning's too cold.

Man.. so much to do, too little time.

Gwen, now's not the time to be all OCD and perfectionist all.

Terribly demotivated now.. and a bit feverish.

Till next time.

xx

I am Happy(er)

When life gives you lemons and unnecessary stress, dance it out.

When dancing gives you lemons and unnecessary stress, join an outside studio recital for the first time and feel free for once while dancing.

I missed the joy and freedom I used to feel while dancing, and how I used to laugh off my mistakes instead of stressing over them.

But I felt and did the opposite today.

Looking forward to every week's Recognize Studios Recital (girls' hip hop) training. 9.30pm-11.30pm may be late but what is sleep when I get to truly enjoy what I love doing again?

Finding someone who genuinely cares about and wants to improve your welfare as a dancer makes a lot of difference, so thank you Chun. My legs still burn from all that stretching but hey I now realize I can actually split with my right leg infront too! 

I CAN SPLIT BOTH WAYS NOW MUAHAHAHA CAN YOU FEEL MY EXCITEMENT I AM TYPING IN CAPS. Must've been from all the stretching AnAn used to do with us. Wait till I train my center split... I will brag like crazy then.

Training for standing splits too but okay, one side at a time Gwen.

I might have a sprained shoulder + burning knees right now from today's waacking session, but it was worth it. Thinking this way – how the pain's actually worth it – was actually how I was like when I was so 'on' about dance. I could have a sprained ankle, almost-faint and yet still find the willpower to carry on.

Please save September 13th and come watch R! Recital Vol. 2.

Things/people that make me happy: Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, macarons, dance, sleep, games, family, friends.. and now my fellow girls' hip hop item people ♥♥♥

That is all.


p.s. Whoever has been on my ask.fm, giving me advice about my knee and telling me you know how it's like dancing with a bad knee, I may not know you, but thank you :)

YES!!!!!

I MADE IT

I. MADE. IT!!!!

*does a little happy dance in room*

Well I did mention on Sunday that I would come here to brag if the results were satisfactory.

So hello Recognize Studios Recital Vol. 2, girls' hip hop item!

When I got G48 as my audition number I had a hunch that I would make it somehow, or that my day would go well. It's stupid, I know, but there's just something special about seeing my favourite number during important moments. I guess I really love/am fated with the number 48?

I mean, look at what number I got for last year's Waves auditions!

It's fate I tell ye!

On Monday I was helping out with the hip hop auditions (300+ people signed up wow I can't even find the word to describe how exhausted we were) and Geisel suddenly came to me in the middle of it to share the good news cuz she got in for the reggae item.

We were just standing there infront of all the people auditioning, squealing (in our usual oh-we're-in-our-own-world fashion) and hugging.

On the downside, aku was down with fever from Monday night.

Haven't felt so shitty in a while, but I guess I deserve it. With all the late nights and stress, t's no wonder I gained 2kg since school reopened. My body definitely reacts to bad treatment 'well'.

Guess Monday was the trigger point. 

Here's how my crazy day went (if y'all even bother):

Went to school on 3hrs of sleep. After class, The Legency had FYP discussion from 11-1pm before consultation with Ms Laura. Had lunch and caught Shinhwa's SNL Korea skits with Steffi (hehehe) before sleeping for like, 10mins in The Agency. THEN I had SPACE Media CA1 discussions with my group from 3-5 before heading off to meet some of my batchmates to learn the choreo from AnAn for the hip hop auditions till 6.30pm.

After that the first batch of auditionees came in and we taught, and taught, and taught, and taught..

And danced, and danced, and danced, and danced...... till the last batch which came in at about 9pm?

As if that wasn't a hectic enough day, my batch then had AGM training till 11pm WITHOUT STOPPING. We were all dying (especially those who helped with ze auditions), starving and whatnot. 

The moment I got off 74 and trudged back home.. I totally felt like I was gonna collapse. Then I found out I had fever so yay me!

I really do deserve a slap cuz I even went to school today for performance rehearsals.

Sigh.

Oh well, after AGM on the 15th I solemnly swear to get some rest.. or not. That's when FYP will be crazy for me so yeah here we go again.

Gotta be up in 4 hours to go for another round of rehearsals before our performance for DMC Connect 2013, so g'night folks!

SDZ BBoy Auditions 2013

Thank you Richard for the awesome video!

I've picked the right successor for my Head of Publicity + Production role :')

I can actually see myself in some parts here and there (cue the oh nooooo's) from my audition.

The Story of my Life (thus far)

I recently saw an ad on television for some competition. 

Can't remember what it was all about, but the lines I remember hearing were "Send in your entries about what your passion ... and win a trip to-"

Passion.

Where do I even begin with this?

Alright, I know:

"Where has my passion taken me thus far?"

I've been on a really long journey with dance. There have been a lot of ups and of course a lot of downs that followed.

Being a Year 3 student studying Media and Communications (a course known to be project-heavy), I realised I couldn't devote all my time to dance and SDZ anymore.

"And you auditioned to be a junior for bboy? Oh the irony."

I don't know. I can't say my journey with dance has been a smooth one, and right now I can't help but feel conflicted with myself.

Before I continue, I just wanna say this to some people that I've really hurt badly over this whole thing with dance, or to anyone I've neglected in Year 1-2 as a result of being too devoted to dance when my passion took off for real the moment I passed my auditions for SDZ and became one of the 50 (and sadly the number's now reduced to 11) of my batch to actually get the chance to be a part of this amazing CCA.

Not like y'all read my blog anymore I guess.

I've kept this bottled up for the longest time ever, and nothing hurts me more to know how many people I've lost when I swore to make dance my career. That includes family.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it was a stupid thing to do nor am I implying that I don't love dance anymore.. it's just that I've recently become jaded. My love for dance is still there, no questioning that, but my "GO JE!" attitude for it has been worn thin.. really thin.

Just because I don't talk about it doesn't mean I don't regret anything. With each and every passing day all I feel is guilt and regret, and yet I don't have the balls to do shit about it as much as I want to.

Either that, or I actually do something about it but end up screwing it up further. I spend my nights crying knowing that I can't salvage the situation anymore.

I miss all my old friends from Mayflower, especially my old clique of girls whom I grew up with. 

I may always talk about and be thankful for my best friends from Aitong, or my other cliques of girlfriends I met in MFSS, but deep down inside I always think and thank God for this particular group of girlfriends because they were there for me at my lowest, which was when I flunked my "O" Levels. They studied with me almost every day, we had the best laksa yong tau fu together.. good times.

Even my closest friends from poly know about them, and when someone brings them up either I or another person in the clique would go, "EH SENSITIVE TOPIC, SENSITIVE TOPIC!"

I've had this bottled up since the end of Year 1.

All I have to say is that I was an idiot, I became a jerk and got too high and mighty when I got recognised for my talents as I've always loved dance since primary 3, and I am truly sorry.

One day.. one day.

Okay enough of my digression.

There have been too little 'ups' and too many 'downs' of dance.

I played too much in my first year of poly. My friends always told me to focus more in the first year but I never took their advice in. I danced too much, neglected my studies too much. Became known in DMC as either the girl with a big bag that contains all her dance clothes (I once carried around the army backpack so that I could lug my thick sweatpants around instead of having to carry around a bag, a shoebag and a laptop case), or the girl who always had dance.

I was never in school during the Waves production period due to rehearsals or due to the fact I was too exhausted from spending 8-10 hours having intensive training in school every other day.

I would always prioritize my dance friends over any other group of friends.

One friend even told me once (as we discussed why I have been single for about 2 years) that I had not dated for such a long time because my life was devoted to dance. I had no time to get to know people, no time to hold conversations with anyone who wasn't a dancer. 

"Of course you've been single la!" she exclaimed.

Sigh.

Then again there are the 'ups' I can never be thankful enough for.

To become part of the uh-mazing SDZ Committee for AY12/13, to have performed countless times and in 2 Waves productions.. to be in such a position when others could only dream of it. Wow.

I had so much fun and it won't stop here for sure. Waves 18 is coming up!

The highlight of my dance 'career' thus far was the day we had one of our first vettings for Waves 16. Me being me, I had no idea what to expect and just danced with lots of passion and heart, and Ryan called me his "Favourite Dancer", or "F.D.", as Unkle termed it.

I can never forget how during the debrief, he said out of the hundreds of dancers sitting there in MPH, only 2 stood one. One was an alumni and the other was – surprisingly – me.

How I stood there crying because he told the rest to learn from me, what with a 100% attendance and all and how I gave my all even though this was just a vetting.

What an honour.

I spent the next few hours crying tears of joy and receiving hugs and congratulations from my SDZ mates.

This year has been an amazing year, no doubt.

I'm extremely thankful I got to reconnect with my sailors again thanks to Whatsapp (which I have this strong love-hate relationship for).

As I type this right now, David and Jack are going on and on about which university to go to after army, what course to study and all. It's quite amusing because I know I will be that girl that could never enter NUS or NTU as much as I want to, which makes me feel stupid compared to my cousins who were and currently are RGS, RI, RJC, HC, St. Nics and ACS(I) kids.

But hey, it's okay. I'll find some way to succeed in life.

(Dad's still against the idea of me taking a year off after poly to attend a dance academy in New York, but I'm working on it.)

This year, I've learnt to set aside more time for myself, my close friends, my sailors, my family.

I'm trying to be more positive, to not let what I've done haunt me. I used to laugh off the mistakes I made while doing choreos during training, now I dance as if there was this invisible gun pointed to my head.

I need to stop taking everything so seriously.

I'm still on a never-ending journey with dance, but heck, I'm now trying to find the old Gwen from Mayflower who couldn't stop smiling and being a goofball 24/7.

Before I end off this blog post and say goodnight (gotta be up in 4hrs), here's a photo of me and Liyi's ootd after FYP class on Monday.

We coincidentally wore matching outfits!

There has been absolutely nothing to do in school right now that even the idea of going to school bores me. Thank goodness the practicum I chose was a good one as compared to the others (Agency Startup, Writing Lab, some self-study project thing, Centre for Social Media).

So guys, if you're from DMC and aren't too sure of which practicum to choose when you're in Year 3, please, please PLEASE pick Space Media.

I can't wait to see my Legency girls and – now with Glenn in our FYP group – guy tomorrow after practicum. It sucks that out of all of us in The Legency, I was the only one to choose Space Media sigh but I'm thankful I have quite a few 01 peeps there.

From DMC/FT/1A/01, to 1B/01.... now we're at DMC/FT/3A/01.. wow, I've been with them for 3 years.

Time flies, huh?

Goodnight!

Oh wait, that's a photo of Nasir.


p.s. Have you seen this video the Year 2 DMC kiddos did for DMC Connect 2013?

Look at Fil and AJ. Cute la you two!

I miss my CASS Freshmen Orientation Camp (FOC) mates sooooooo much :(

Waves 17

...... is over. 
A huge thank you to my friends and family that came down to watch the production - I hope it wasn't a letdown!

Out of the two Waves I've been a part of, this was definitely the most trying and tiring. Well I guess I can't say for sure because I've only been a part of two Waves production and not more? But I can dare say I'll never struggle this hard again for other events I'll be a part of.

Broke down so many times, lost myself in the process.

I fought an internal war with myself. All everyone saw were smiles and joy slapped over my face but I died inside with each and every practice, every rehearsal. I isolated myself, made myself more lonely, becoming this person I am totally the opposite of. I was depressed everyday, and nothing I did could make me feel better about myself or my situation.

I hated myself for being this weak.

But I'm thankful I have good friends that brought me back - or rather, slapped me back (not literally) - to reality.

Just in time, too. I worked my ass off for the shirt and the booklet, even though I'd say 90% of the work was all Geisel. She stayed strong when her pub partner crumbled, so thank you. No one else but her saw the struggle I went through but she stuck by me through it all.

A huge thank you to my fellow main comm members, whom I can never thank enough for being such an awesome committee.

I am thankful to be in this batch, this committee.

x

SDZ Presents Waves 17: The Queen: An Untold Fairytale

Singapore Polytechnic's SDZ (Strictly Dance Zone) proudly presents Waves 17: The Queen: An Untold Fairytale.

Giving a twist to the classic fairytale of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, SDZ is bent on telling the world the untold tale that revolves around the common misconception that everyone has of the infamous Queen.

You thought she was the bad guy?


Think again.


------------

Date: 9 November 2012
Venue: Kallang Theatre
Time: 7pm
Ticket Prices: $16 (circle) / $20 (stall)

For ticketing information, please contact Alison at 9877 8397, or Alicia at 9817 3571. Feel free to check with any SDZ member for more information.

Hope to see you there!

http://strictlydancezone.blogspot.sg/p/waves-17-queen-untold-fairytale.html
http://twitter.com/SDZ_Waves17
http://twitter.com/spsdz

Hello Again

Hi guys! Check out the new SDZ Comm 2012 photo. Thought it looked pretty cool after the editing and all.

I may be just the publicity head but hey I do take pride in my role!

Anyways.. a huge warm hello to anyone who still reads this space! I haven't had the time to actually update my blog, as you can see.

This month's been pretty crazy for me, what with all the CA's and SDZ committee stuff for me to do. Trust me when I say the word 'crazy' is sorta underrated to use for such a situation.

On days with committee meetings, I've had to rush back and forth from The Agency (that's where we DMC peeps do work nowadays since most of our classes are there) where my groupmates and I discuss and finish up projects, and to our meeting areas at either Mob or the main library, then rushing back to The Agency again after we're done with our meeting. It's CRAAAAAAAZY!

But hey I enjoy being kept busy, so I consider it a feat because I've never seen myself multi-task so well before.

And oh, congrats to everyone graduating recently! My Facebook timeline has been flooded with photos and albums of people graduating - from SP to NP to NYP and TP! Met a senior of mine after her graduation ceremony and boy did I love that feeling. It made me wish I was graduating too.

A little achievement I've had recently was getting Top 16 for Get Down! Vol. 5. It might not be that big a feat to those reading this now, but over 100+ particpants... and I got Top 16. Not to mention it's only my second public battle. Wow. Once again, it's crazy.

Got such good comments from Zaihar, Daniel and D.T. that it made my day even better!

I came home that night and the first thing I said was "Gerald! GERALDDDDDDDD!"

My brother came out of the room and gave me this confused face. So did my parents. My mom and dad were asking me what's wrong because I'm not the person to affectionately call my brother out of his room first thing when I come home.

The feeling when I calmly said, "Top 16!" and my brother's "OHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" reaction + a hug = priceless

That's how We Roll

SDZ hip hop Senior batch AY12/13

2012, bring it on!

Hello

My blog is so dead.

On a random side note, hello! I'm back from Genting (had a short getaway there with the dancers) with loads of foutous (slang it like you mean it guuuuuurl)

As much as I would like to blog about my trip there with bits about how car-sick I felt, I have to get up at 6am for a performance tomorrow for SP's International Students Club? And boy am I feeling the stress.

I'm no longer dancing for myself. I've been dreading dance, and getting up for anything dance/SDZ has been a chore. I no longer feel the love and passion I once had for dance because all I feel now is the stress that comes packaged with graduating from being a year 1 junior to become a senior.

Even with the getaway, I found myself stressing about dance all the time. Keyword here being 'stress'. I've never coupled the words 'dance' and 'stress' together and I'm not exactly proud of it.

I don't feel the music anymore. My cyphers have become shit and I'm starting to feel shit about myself and my dance. Don't ge me wrong - I'm not seeking attention nor am I trying to be this person who wallows in self pity, but think about it - dance is my LIFE.

To be feeling this way about something that you consider to be your life.. how shitty would YOU feel?

And being away in Genting just made me realise.. why I've been so depressed, so lifeless, so dull and reluctant during trainings?

I've not been dancing for myself. That's why.

Waves16: Items

The items of Waves16 that I was in! The opening, Val + Jan + Khai's, AnAn's and the finale (I messed up on the first day's finale though, sorry Johnny I didn't walk out on time!)

Damn, I've got mixed feelings now.

ABCD with a chance of pizza + 金枕头

Celebrated Christmas again; this time with ABCD!

We were meant to cook but let's just say we all didn't do proper planning and it resulted in us ordering 4 extra-large pizzas and 2 金枕头's (Golden Pillow - it's super dope). Had a good time with them even though I would be quite bored if I were them. My house isn't exactly the kind of place you'd like to hold parties at because that's how boring it is here.

I actually laughed as I looked back at these photos, that's how awesome it was.. well to me at least.

Can't wait till Friday because I'm gonna be celebrating Christmas and New Year with SDZ at a BBQ. It's gonna be AWESOME.

Back to making my Christmas stuff!

(There's this horrifying pimple on my nose. I know, I know.)

How was your Christmas?

O School Recital 2011

Photos from O School Recital 2011 quite a while back!

Damn I know I haven't been updating much but I've been a busy gurl......

..and also because I was stuck in the "Edit HTML" mode instead of "Compose" mode for quite a bit on Google Chrome.

Watched a few things that inspired me recently. First one being Freedom Writers and second one being Switched At Birth.

S@B inspired me to start picking up ASL, and I've learnt how to sign a few words from the show itself. It's an amazing show, y'all should go watch it. So far I've watched some YouTube videos on signing simple phrases and stuff.

I've always known that I wanted to eventually do something dance-related and kid-related when I'm older. For months now I've been holding off the idea of helping out at orphanages and all - not to sound like some samaritan-wannabe but I've always loved kids and wanted to do something more for them - due to my hectic schedule from both dance + schoolwork.

Still remembered how when we were brought to MINDS to do CIP back in secondary 3 as a class.. we had so much fun working with the kids there because they're really beautiful. I remembered this kid in particular who wore a pair of hearing aids if I'm not wrong and had someone by his side all the time. So cute.

Maybe I should just help with kids in the deaf community in future? I would LOVE doing that especially since I think people from the deaf community deserve so much more..

But for now I should just stick to figuring how to manage my time for Christmas.