New short hair!

Thanks to Janice from Toni&Guy for the haircut! Had my hair coloured by Jackie. Did this last week and am pretty much loving it right now, think I'm gonna keep it like that.

A video for you to enjoy! QWOP-inspired hahaha.

Teenage Kpop Dance Battle 2011 Finals

Hey y'all!

So I took part in this year's Teenage Kpop Dance Battle with Rustique. Even though we didn't emerge in the Top 3 I didn't feel disappointed or anything cuz the process alone was really rewarding. Being in the Finals alone was pretty awesome itself!

Gonna post up the rest of the photos some other time. But for now here are some of the photos taken while announcing the winners:

Zack's face.. CLASSIC.

Your 2011 Teenage Kpop Dance Battle Winners: MORE THAN FIVE

T'was an amazing experience overall. Felt the SDZ pride thing going on due to that More Than 5 are all our alumnis. Watching them dance was truly inspiring.

Can't believe I complained so much and even thought of pulling out of this. Who knows how much I would've regretted doing so.

Well it's currently 4:38AM. I've to be up at 7.30AM to get ready to be in school by 9 cuz Rustique's gonna be performing at Changi Airport T3 this weekend and we have vetting to go through tomorrow. Just when I thought I could take a break from all the hardcore dancing.. sigh here comes another week of it.

Monday: Training

Tuesday: Airport perf vetting

Wednesday: Training

Thursday: Flashmob training + Waves item training

Friday: Flashmob training

Saturday: Airport performance

Sunday: Flashmob performance

Well done Gwen, well done.

Dancing so much actually makes me miss the sea.

I really miss my sailing days. Bonding with the sailors at the "Opposite Coffeeshop" after our trainings which ended late, camping out at sea waiting for first warning signals during regattas, the feeling of my byte hitting the waves when sailing during strong wind, my fear of going downwind due to the fact when I first started out in sailing I turtled on the downwind (strong wind) a lot of times...

..and then eventually overcoming that fear when I was in secondary 4 because I learnt how to pump (heehee I know it's illegal!) and to catch wind pockets. Even though it makes you go faster (which = more unstable), I felt more comfortable, surprisingly.

I really miss putting on my booties, UV suit, and my torn and tattered pair of track pants.

Then comes the part where I miss my secondary school days in MFSS.

I sometimes wonder why I never treasured my secondary school days more because those were honestly some of the best days of my life. I made the truest friends there and had the best and worst experiences. No wonder they say secondary school is prolly the most happening and life-changing part of most people's lives.

Life in poly's just.. different.

I have to say I'm extremely thankful that I'm in SDZ. Definitely the best CCA/club to be in IMO. Everyone's family there, and I've made a handful of decent friends there and I can't tell y'all how much I love them.

This passion for dance we have just drives us to work hard at dance together. Prolly why we bond even faster.

Waves training's officially starting this week for Zul + Unkle's item and I'm terribly excited for that! Can't wait to experience Waves for myself after seeing how Inez went through Waves15 last year. Watching it made me want to go to SP for SDZ and I hope Waves16 would inspire more kiddos to do that too!

Ah well. Off to bed I go! Early morning vetting tomorrow, here's hoping that I won't be late (which I prolly will be).

Goodnight y'all!

Unicornian

GOOD EVENING GUYS!

Look at what I'm wearing to sleep again!

It's been a while since I last wore my PE shirts to sleep. Always felt that there was a need to "preserve" them cuz MFSS only sells those God-awful dry-fit ones now. These original PE shirts are like, considered rare.

God knows why I take so much pride in being in Unicorn house. I swear, it was fate that made me get into a house that was represented by the colour red.

Gonna go out with Geisel (and hopefully Sheri, Pika, Chan, Azrul.. IF they reply their texts) tomorrow to shop and chill! FOREVER21 ANYBODY?????????! Can't wait! Gotta love impromptu plans like that really ;) And hopefully lunch with the family before that because it's been weeks since I last sat down to have a proper meal with them and I gotta admit, I really miss them.

Today was a terribly exhausting day I suppose. Both mentally and physically.

Felt like I was battling some sort of mental war with my emotions. On one hand I was telling myself not to let criticism get to me and to let it manifest into something that's destroying me. On the other hand, I was telling myself how useless I am and how I can't do anything but dance.

I don't really feel motivated to dance anymore.

When was the last time I did something for myself? Since months ago maybe? That's why I can't wait for tomorrow's shopping + chilling trip with Sel. Gonna spend the weekend clearing my thoughts before coming back full-force on Monday to dance my best for/with Rustique. Walked out on them today because my emotions got the better of me, and I feel like I can't let them down anymore.

So yes, this weekend is THE GWEN WEEKEND.

Everything I do this weekend will be for ME. If I dance/shop/drink/chill/whatever, it's all for me, myself and I.

I need to get my old self back. Need to stop weeping over nothing and need to stop being such a pathetic crybaby. The Gwen everyone knows always picks herself up.

Always.

DMC/FT/1B/01

Hi y'all! This is the DMC/FT/1A(soon to be 1B)/01 that I really miss!

I guess we started out really strong but along the way schoolwork and project work got to us, which really sucks. I miss the old and more fun class that made me look forward to lessons everyday.

Can't wait for our class chalet ;)

To digress, it just started to rain and when I was closing my room's windows I looked down to see a man running from my block to the block opposite (there's no shelter linking the two blocks). Then I realised it was my dad. The poor man goes to work at this time everyday. Sometimes I wished I was someone famous or something, then I could provide for my parents because I've only seen them slog their asses off at work since I was a kid. My brother and I were always left to the maids to tend to, which really sucks because I seldom got to see them.

Then now it's my turn -- they hardly get to see me because I spend everyday dancing and only coming home after 12am.

I really miss my family!

Oh well. Speaking of dance.. I don't feel motivated to dance. Not anymore.

I don't know why I'm allowing the stress from a frickin' KPOP competition get to me/affect my passion for dance so badly. I'm so passionate about hip hop! JAPANESE-STYLE hip hop, not LA hip hop.

But I'm tired. Tired of being the one dancer to get steps wrong, tired of being the only one in the crew to forget steps, tired of being the only one that can't catch steps/techniques as fast as the rest of the crew, tired of taking more time to process steps, tired of being the one with no control, tired of being the only one being put down by my fellow crew members for not dancing as well as the rest. I'm tired of not having the guts to express my unhappiness when something's not right, tired of being capable of only shedding tears because I don't have the balls to tell them straight in their faces that enough is enough. I'm tired of being such a fragile, sensitive bitch that can't take scoldings.

I want to do well in dance, I want to grow up to be a professional dancer like the dancers of O Crew who get to fly occasionally to other countries to share their love and passion for dance to fellow dancers in other countries. I aspire to be like WCO and BASE, I want to inspire people to dance like I did for my brother who picked up bboying because I encouraged him to.

I have so many dreams.

But being put down repeatedly.. ugh. I'm not one to give up especially when it comes to dance, so I hope this feeling goes away soon. Not looking forward to training tomorrow (or later, in this case) at 2pm later.

Oh well.

Good morn'!

Bleurgh it's already 6 and I've yet to get some sleep! #benefitsofhavingholidays

So I caught the Arsenal vs. Udinese match earlier. Dad and I were excited that Arsenal won Udinese 2-1 and got in through to the Champion's League! Congratulations boys, it was a well-deserved win.

Really bummed out that Nasri has, well, officially left the club :(

When watching the match with Dad earlier (the biggest Arsenal fan I have ever met -- has been supporting Arsenal since he was in secondary 1), he suddenly mentioned:

"Samir Nasri left already you know right? He's a money-grabber, he! Go burn your jersey. Wait, can change name? You should buy a jersey with Ramsey's name. He looks more handsome than Nasri. Of all names you put Nasri.. That bugger left!"

I was all le egad! and le gasp! when he said that.

Broke my heart even further. :(

Oh well.

Glad to say my opinion of Justin Bieber has changed after I downloaded + watched half his movie! Well I couldn't sit still past an hour into the movie (I say 'half' because it got a bit too boring, shall continue tomorrow!) But it's inspiring how his determination and hard work led him places.

Hope to be like him in terms of dance! Never stop dreaming ;)

Speaking of dance, I miss this girl right here:

POONIE! My dearest hip hop budddd.

Keep muggin' kiddo, keep muggin'! Shall see you at *SCAPE tomorrow luv

Glad to say since my study break (it wasn't considered holidays till my last paper), I've been spending quality time with the dancers. Even before my study break started we already spent almost everyday together! Sherilynn, Rach, Sarah, Azrul, Bazinga, Inez, Muto, Calvin.. Love you guys :)

CAN'T WAIT TO EXPERIENCE WAVES16 WITH THEM!

Okay, same routine: A photo, an ending caption (sometimes), and a "bye" or "goodnight" when ending a blog post! Here we go..

(Photo)

GOODNIGHT!!

HOLIDAAAAAY

Whoa how long has it been since I last touched this space??!

Okay apparently crazy-long. But hi guys, I'm baaaaaaaack!

So my life in a nutshell..

1. Auditions for Waves 16
2. KPop dance competition training
3. Hanging out with dancers
4. Studying
5. Studying with dancers
6. More studying
7. ESTs

Y'all had better come watch SDZ Waves 16 next year! Excited to get the results of the auditions and for training to start.

Since this holiday's gonna be a long one, I really hope that I'll be able to use this time to improve on dance. Can't wait to go back to O School for Allegra's classes.. I miss her classes so much!

Also hope to use this time to go out and take photographs + to lose weight! Ever since I started mugging for my paper (yes how lucky am I to have only one paper to take! Even the year 2 DMC students have to take what, 3 papers?) I've been gaining weight like nobody's business. My mom said so! And if your parents tell you that you've gained weight.. well, they're most prolly right on that.

Went to town with Becca + Shermin after our paper today and boy did it feel good to spend $80 on stuff @ Forever21!!! My bank account doesn't feel the same way though. Meh :( But I absolutely HAD to shop! I've not shopped for like what, months? I spend everyday at school, then going for dance almost immediately after. SP has become my second home :(

Okay it's apparently 5:28AM. Wanted to get up at 8AM for a jog before heading to school later in the afternoon for dance but OH WELL LOOK AT THE TIME.

Time for a round or two (or three or maybe even four) rounds of Tetris Battle on Facebook before I head to bed..

Okay bye!

We try and we try

Just had the longest Skype chat with Azrul a.k.a. Zulzul and Calvin a.k.a. Pikachu. We were supposed to discuss some issue but we ended up talking about everything else BUT the issue.

I really miss chatting like that. Just talking random nonsense. How long has it been since I found time to even call someone to talk anymore? Well technically I'm not even a phone person so I guess it doesn't matter. But yeah SDZ Skype chats are really funnnnnnnnnn.

Had a "performance" for this NDP preview ceremony thing in SP with the SDZians today. Sin said he saw me and called me non-stop cuz but I couldn't hear me. He even mentioned that he should've videoed me doing our motivator thing so that he could upload it and humiliate me haha!

Quality bonding time with the SDZians over practising and mini cypher and sharing circles while waiting for rehearsals to start, even though Carel and I felt like shit because we were unwell throughout the whole thing. Fadz did an awesome job hosting <3 And the little kids from the Kinderland thing in SP were too cute. The girls from SDZ went nuts while they pranced around on stage with their little pompoms.

What I've done, yet to do, and have to do:

1. NDP preview-thingamajig (DONE)
2. Teenage Kpop semi-finals
3. SDZ Jam auditions
4. SP Go Green flashmob (organised by SDZ juniors)
5. POM CA2 presentation
6. DB CA2 + CA3
7. IMW CA3
8. Study for POM written test
9. Study for major ICP CA2 written test

4 more weeks till sem break, 1 week till study break. I'll have to tolerate ALL THESE for the next few weeks.

I'm having such a horrible migraine right now.. actually I have been for the whole day. It never went away. God knows why I'm still awake at this hour. I've got a terribly long day ahead!

#lifeasaDMCstudent

Not much fun at the moment, apparently.

What with all the deadlines for multiple projects coming up soon, even a CA3 IMW project we just received news on today.. it's dead tiring. But I'll admit, from what I see, DMC seems to be the course that has the most fun so far. We rush projects like mad when we have to, but in class we do so much interactive work with our lecturers its fun. Like playing games, discussing current topics..

Juggling a CCA and studies in poly's much harder than it seems. Or maybe it's just because I'm really committed to SDZ. Thing is, it's not just me who feels this way so I'm thankful for the SDZians cuz we're there to push each other on.

NDP performance tomorrow, Go Green flashmob to plan for with the other juniors from different genres, SDZ Jam, Teenage Kpop semi-finals. Everything's rushing by so fast now it's blurry.

Above are photos of Rach and I camwhoring with Jacob's cap! I love his cap cuz it's red and spongey. Then he told me, "It's a sponge cap."

..Explains the spongey-ness.

We're all fat dancers. Or at least I am (the fat hip hop dancer), they aren't (they're the not-fat moderner and bboy).

Okay bye!

Busy Bee

Been so busy lately I've not had much time for myself, much less my friends.

Would be lying if I said dance didn't occupy most of my time. What with the competition coming up this Saturday, having to plan the flashmob with 11 other SDZ juniors.. And studies.

I'm finding it hard to cope. Just a few weeks back, out of a 5-day school-week, I missed 4 days of school. I felt so bad, but I was so worn out I couldn't wake up on most days. I couldn't even fall asleep to begin with, no matter how tired I was.

Had to turn down so many outings. Felt horrid, but the thing's that I know this would prolly be my life for the next few years or so? I enjoy dancing everyday and would definitely dance even if I didn't have some competition or whatsoever going on.

Talked to Celine and Rach about it at our sleepover on Rach's birthday week. I went to Timbre really late cuz of our practice for the competition, and apparently they weren't happy about it, but didn't show it until they got to my place. My miserable cake from Starbucks couldn't even make up for it, in my opinion. Rach talked to me when we were at my place washing up, and when it was her turn to wash up (after Cel), I talked to Cel and cried really badly.

"I'm afraid dance will be my downfall. I'm gonna lose all my close friends cuz of this. But I don't know what to do because it's the one thing I REALLY love."

Thank God for her comforting hug that came after that sentence because I was just sitting there awkwardly bawling my eyes out. When she told me that she and Rach understood the situation I was in after I explained why I was so terribly late, and that I would definitely not lose the two of them because they understood and supported me all the way (knowing that this is my passion).. well, I'm just.. thankful.

Deep down I'm still trying to justify why dance is so important to me. It could be the fact that it's the only thing that seems to make my parents proud of me, and the fact that it's the only thing I started that I didn't stop at halfway.

Struggling hard to juggle studies and dance, and it's extremely tiring but I'm getting better at it. GRAAW's wake-up call made me realise I really had to wake up and try harder than I already am, and to make an effort.

And when Becca told me how concerned she was about me while we were getting nasi ayam penyet at FC6.. haha, I told her, "If we weren't in a public area now I'd be crying."

Becca, Wee, Rachael, Alvin, Shermin, Aki.. thanks for being there for me in school. Wouldn't know what to do without you guys.

The Big Groove 2011 PT2

Will post up the photos I took before the break later! Took too many photos during TBG 2011.. cuz I really doubt y'all will wanna scroll through all of them in one post. ;)

The Big Groove 2011 was an awesome experience. It's my virgin TBG show (since I missed last year's -- which had Quest Crew, by the way -- for an outing that was cancelled) and I really enjoyed it. Catching it with the SDZians made it even better.

During the break..

Rachel and Sherilynn

Pretty Elissa!

Jevin was yawning HAHA

With Allegra! Didn't know my hair was so messed up ugh.

Love this girl! One of my craziest and loveliest friend in SDZ.

Abangggg

Yong Da going into full cameraman mode HAHA

Counting down to the end of the break!

Presenting the Hero Award.

Donkey faise

And the Hero Award goes to..

..the organiser of Dance For Japan, Ms Stephanie Phua!

And now, back to the show ;)

Big Toe Crew

My favourite photo of the day!

Big Buddy Boi (from Japan)

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE THEM

O Crew (from Singapore)!

Ending the show with a curtain call..

Jasmine, Shiying and Sherilynn

With Zaahid!

This wasn't a candid shot even. An An just was waving frantically and when she saw my DSLR there she just froze in her pose heehee.

Cute or what?

With my umma Jasmineeee!

Hogging the escalator SDZ STYLE

Quoway!

Hahaha Bazinga and I.

Zulzul-