The Thought of Failing..

Can't sleep, so I'm rolling around in me momma's bed right now blogging via my cellphone.

The thought of taking the O Levels again.. Be it something minor like the oral examination tomorrow.... It scares me shitless.

Shitless literally and also to the point that I became a bottomless pit again. Now I know why I was like 100x fatter in sec4. The stress.. that crappy stress. It makes me turn to comfort food. Okay today I've had my normal breakfast of cornflakes + milk and a cup of Milo, and two really small char siew paos, for lunch it was the $1 super small black pepper chicken pie from Pie Kia. (Surprisingly that finish-in-2-bites pie made me satisfied)

Then came dinner. That was when I felt most stressed out cuz I knew I was hours away from the examination.

Ate a way early din with Quin and Aaron at Cuppage Plaza after our visit to NSC (to check out the sailing and windsurfing segment for YOG and to say hi to Mrs Sidhu + the sailing juniors helping out). Good times I used to have in the early years of secondary school at both venues, goooood times. Had awesome ramen that was totally worth the money (PHOTOS UP SOON BY THE NEXT POST PROLLY I SWEAR), left feeling really full -- Didn't even finish the gyoza so I packed back.

Left with a cup of bandung from the cai fan stall Cel and I love eating at, then bought bread home for tomorrow's breakfast. Was raining when I got back to AMK, so I went to find my parents. Bought ice-cream from the mix-in stall outside NTUC's checkout point to share with Mom.... came home only to finish like 2 out of 5 of the gyozas.

Thing is, I didn't pack it back for myself to eat. -_-

Gawd now I feel so sick knowing I overate today. My stomach's actually lurching now. Working out for the past few days did not cover this I SWEAR. Ugh was eating healthier 'till today omg.

The thought of failing scares me. I mean, failing once means you can always fail again, right? RIGHT? Gawd I am always extremely pessimistic at all the wrong times I swear!

Ker's awesome cuz she didn't mind accompanying me to Deyi Sec tomorrow. And I just read Alex's text. Aw!!

Thank you SO, SO, SO, SO SO SO SO MUCH BFFs!

I wouldn't be able to live if my life didn't have you guys, I swear!

Step Up 3D

My favourite scenes from the movie

So alright, I caught Step Up 3 in 3D with my friends from Hip Hop II.

Can't say anything else other than the fact that it's MAD AWESOME!


I mean yeah okay apart from the fact that Adam Sevani became way cuter in this third instalment of the movie, Rick Malambri was cute too.

Chadd Smith I LOVE YOU.
Maddchadd love!

Then again, call me over-sensitive, but the start of the movie made me feel all emotional.

Emotional because it was just the reminder to remind me why I wanted to dance in the first place; how I feel while dancing; how that feeling made me go further, to pursue more than what my parents thought I would have.

Those who have known me for a long time would know I am the kind of person who starts something only to give up halfway. Or what my parents would label me in Chinese, ban tu er fei.

In primary school I started all my CCAs only to quit around pri5 or latest mid of pri6.
(I had around 8-9 CCAs in primary school)

So of course my parents expected me to start hip hop only to stop within a year or less actually.

Hm.. truth be told it IS mind-boggling how come I never stopped dancing.

Anywho.

The starting's deep and a lot of thought was definitely put in to that. Props to Jon M. Chu. He dug deep for this man. I'm sorry I ever said that Step Up 2 was horrible and that I hated the fact you directed it because Step Up 3 proved me so wrong with SU3.

But hey, I did subscribe to your Youtube channel after SU2, didn't I? ;)

The little online dance battle between Miley Cyrus's "crew" and Adam + Jon's ACDC crew via Youtube like 2 years back? Awesome.

(I would really like Channing to come back though. You know, he IS a really good dancer.)

And rumours about the filming of Step Up 4 coming about makes me more excited!

Anywho, I realised that the movie paid less attention to Rick's skills and rather, it was more focused more on The Pirates? Well I don't know but this is the first time I noticed this. Like I hardly saw Rick dancing or having as much screen time while dancing as compared to the little numbers the crew did.

And oh (SPOILER ALERT), the fact that JOSHUA ALLEN AND tWITCH BOSS WERE IN THE MOVIE?!

THAT MADE THE MOVIE LIKE 100x BETTER Y'ALL.

Thanks Jon M. Chu! The casting for this movie was done PERFECTLY.

I was squealing when Joshua came out (not to mention in the toilet with speakers sewed on his jacket! Man..). Then again, somehow Joshua doesn't seem.. Joshua-ish because there wasn't Katee. Like SYTYCD Incorporated both of them to the point that it felt weird seeing Joshua without Katee.

Katee Shean, I LOVE YOU.


(Then again, from this movie -- and the fact that I watched the Robot Rock clip like over 10 times -- it is very obvious why popping isn't tWitch's forte. That doesn't mean he's off my favourites list for SYTYCD S3-4!)

"Even though Step Up 3D consists mostly of one flashy, hip-hop dance-off after another, the influences are clearly visible and if nothing else Chu has cleverly incorporated sweet homages to the greats he grew up admiring."

p.s. Did any SHINee fans notice that the jackets that the opponents of The Pirates wore during the 'Dancing on Water' scene was the jacket that Jjong (or was it Onew? AH I THINK IT WAS ONEW) wore for the Juliette MV?

I know because I saw it at Nike once and wanted to buy it cuz I was like a 200% bigger SHINee fan back then than I am now. :S

I was like, "Nike sponsors SU3 a lot huh!" and John was like, "Nike? Spons Step Up? Why??"

p.p.s. I shall go listen to my SHINee playlist in my iPod now bye!

Old Dance Vids

This was when I was like what, sec 2? Went back to watch all my old stuff and read my old blog posts on dance (click the label thing below and you'll see all the posts I tagged under 'Dance') and I realised I really miss Crystal and Maqrius's lessons.

AND HAHAHA I REALLY... REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

My dance was so shitty back then how is it that I failed to realise it? I couldn't find the vid of my first and very own choreo to Like A Boy to post up, and that was the better one. Like this dancing dude even commented saying he'd be honoured if he had me as his dance partner. The Promiscuous Girl choreo was done by Maqrius. It was his style, not mine.

Classes back then were SO much fun because it was only a class of 3/4 people and we all knew each other so well. I loved the assignments Maqrius and Crystal gave us too, like the choreographing one and the whole dancing one-by-one thing infront of Maqrius and the owner of the studio we used as part of our Intermediate 1 exam.

We could chose stay back and practice for like 1 hour plus and all that shit.. and we did -- EVERY week. It was awesome. And oh I was SO MUCH THINNER in the past. Well of course this was when life was smooth and happier, before I became so terribly stressed out that I started eating more than I should.

I would love to see how I danced during the lessons I took up in primary 6. I still remember that the teacher choreographed to Don't Cha once and I was so eager to dance I would go for classes even if the rain was terribly heavy.. so I go in drenched.

Well it was, after all my first dance class, was so excited about it. Like I've been teaching myself with the aid of videos since primary 3 so yeah when my parents finally allowed me to take lessons in primary 6 it was like a MASSIVE thing to me.


To think I'm even paying for my own dance courses now.. hah. To anyone who ever wonders why I work and all that, its cuz I'm earning money to pay for my own hip hop courses, clothes etc.

..how everything has changed.



I still wonder sometimes if.. along the way, I lost my passion for dance. I still LOVE dance but laziness got the better of me. I will never again be that girl who would practice dancing from 12am to 3am every night without fail. Ashamed as I am to admit, BoA (Kwon -- the singer) inspired me to learn all that I have learnt today. I still dream of making it big with dance, but over the years so many people have been telling me dance is nothing but a hobby. SO MANY. It sucks and I really can't wait to get my education done and over with so I can focus on dance.

I told myself I'd end up living in a house with my own studio (and darkroom, for photography) that I could practice in.

EDIT-
Okay seems like I found the Like A Boy Choreo. HAHAHA I STILL THINK I LOOKED STUPID.

Enjoy (getting a good laugh)!

Photo Overload

Waaaaaay overdue photos.

"Celebrated" an early NDP with the sailors and Cheryl. Celebrated Mrs Sidhu's belated birthday and had lunch @ Sokudo with Quin and Cheryl after.

Crap, I miss the pasta I had there already.

All forcing Mrs Sidhu into doing the sailing tradition:

CAKE SMASH
*cue dramatic music*

LUNCHIES @ CINE'S SHOKUDO:

Quinneh's awesome industrial piercing.

Might consider getting myself one after O's.. IF I'm not afraid of needles by then, cuz she told me they could only use a needle instead of the ear gun. Ugh.

HATE my phobia for needles.

Quinnie's omu rice.

My yummeh seafood pasta!
Yum tum tum.

Anyone notices the irony in here?

Park Jaebeom's album on top, followed by SuJu's album and oh, who's that below?

I mean seriously I felt weird seeing Jae and 2PM's albums in like, the same column.

That's all. Shall upload the YOG torch passover and me, Ker and Beanie's apple crumble photos. Must bake with them again soon cuz our apple crumble turned out AWESOME. :)

Blogging

Its been a while since I last blogged. Like August 4th whoa drought much.

Anyways I have photos to post up! Just lazy to go filter them and edit them or whatsoever. Been feeling really sloggish recently. But yesterday was the last day of work for me! Well at least until 2 months later when my O's are over.

I'LL BE BACK, AIRPORT. Just you wait!

I worked from 11am to 1am yesterday, which was pure madness. But it was cuz Michelle couldn't come, so they asked if I could work till 11 and I asked if I could work till 1am instead. It was awesome fun and I love all my colleagues. When we were about to part ways after coming out of the gantry Nurul gave me a hug and told me she would miss me a lot, and that made me shed buckets omg, mad embarassing! But I would miss her too, and everyone else at Kidztime.

Can't believe I'm saying this, but yes I would miss my workplace very much.

(Even though for the past few months I've been complaining and complaining and wishing I could just stop work/call in sick 24/6.. Yeah figures. I would really miss the place. Cried so much on my dad's car. NURUL ITS YOUR FAULT :'( )

Then comes the whole thing about my weight issue.

Recently resolved to eating healthily. I don't wanna lose weight for the sake of losing it. I want to REDUCE my weight and stay at it.

Lets just say its more of a lifestyle change, rather than a change that's only temporary.

I now have cleansing days, meaning on those days I stick to only eating veggies and fruits. No meat. I can have rice too, but I've been cutting down on my rice portions even though I LOVE rice. My bro and I can't live without rice so imagine how I am now, leaving like half my plate of rice behind after every meal..

..breaks my heart.

I've been eating three square meals with a light snack of like half a bowl of cereal etc inbetween. Brings up my metabolism rate I guess. And fruits. Been forcing myself to eat more fruits.

Then again, I think my body's not used to it. Like the whole shocking my system by cutting out all snacks, juice, sweet drinks and just drinking water. And oh, Milo too. I can't live without Milo like how the caffine addicts can't live without coffee/tea. My bad.

But yes I would want to start swimming once a week too, but everyone who agreed to swimming with me always can't make time for it. UGH. Swimming next week with Rei after our tuition whoopeedee! I'm a happy gurl!

Okay its raining cats and dogs now and I don't see how I can leave the house to meet Ker just yet. So.. blog later when I'm home from my studying day with photos, alright?

Xoxo

Home

Belle's new Pentax. Since she requested for a photo of her new baby, here it is!

Helped her collect it from this guy after work one day. Weird fella. I was super late because hello I don't always knock off on time right?? If there's stock and my colleague comes late I can't help it right. And I can't keep texting during work? Then when I got to Tanah Merah I couldn't find him, so I gave him a call and he told me "Come to the taxi stand. I am about to leave already. I thought I kenna played out. Like you never come. Get played out."

Uh.. Oooooookay??


My wall of postcards is apparently still bare. No time to go out and take some off the postcard stands man.

And oh, after like a week or so of letting my new hair grow out (I never blogged/tweeted/anything about a haircut so no one actually knows about it except my friends from work, dance and Alex), HERE IT IS.

It looked really kuku when I just got it cut cuz the guy layered it. Was pretty mad about it but what's done is done man. Cheryl Y. saw me at dance and it took her like a good 10mins or so to realise I got my hair cut.

She was giving me this weird look, and finally after we drank water and got ready for warmups I asked her and Anika, "Do I look very weird??"

"YOU GOT YOUR HAIR CUT IS IT?!?!?!!!"

"Yeah...... :("

"No wonder I was wondering why you looked so kuku. Haha!"


In the end I trimmed it myself every alternate day to make it seem less layered.

It isn't even supposed to be side bangs please?? Like the guy totally didn't make it look like the photo. So I trimmed it into side bangs myself.


Aaaaand a bonus! Snapped some random old photos my parents keep by their bedside tables.



I really feel like, depressed whenever I see these photos. I was so puny back then! And oh the little dude in the last photo's my brother. Hahah actually, he was about to cry after this photo was taken. Cuz he was quite chubby, I couldn't place him properly on my lap when my parents took this shot.

He was such a cutie I swear.

Gerald, what happened to you? :(