L to the max.

Wtf.

Seriously la, I really wanna just scream my head off at you right now. I don't get you at all. Its like, you bad mood then bad mood la! Must come and take it out on me, is it? You're sleepy GO SLEEP LA. No one asked you to stay up till 3.37AM cuz you watch TV, then take it out on your daughter who doesn't stay up till 3AM everyday like you do!

Knew you'll do the usual check, and I thought you'll go to sleep after you realised that my doors were locked. Hell, I locked it so that I could change to sleep! Then you had to go get the bedroom keys from the cupboard. Wtf man. I wanna lock the doors also cannot ah? Thank God I changed my mind and decided to use the laptop a while longer before changing. I know I shouldn't stay up till so late, but at least give me some privacy la!

I HATE it when you scold me for nothing whenever you're in a bad mood. You may be my father, but I also am your DAUGHTER. If I can show you face, I don't see why you can't do the same for me. I can tell you're in a bad mood, you usually don't mind when I stay up late on weekends/holidays.

So fuck, if you're taking it out on me cuz you're groggy/had a bad day again, I'll just explode k.

Drunktard

I must admit- I can't hold my liquor very well.

Drank one glass of champagne and one glass of red wine and I felt like how I did at Uncle Collin's wedding! My mom said my face was damn red and yes, it was. :( no wonder I had a headache and felt damn warm. I hate the almost-drunk feeling.

Mel, I will NEVER go drinking with you. See ah-m opening a bottle of red wine and you're already going nuts. Hahaha.

Suddenly hit me that majority of my cousins I am closer to/see more often are in sporting CCAs, or we at least do sports. But the Neo family is super huge and I have like 15 cousins (plus me and bro) in my generation alone.

Tuition ended at 1, and after I ate my supposedly breakfast, I fell asleep till 5pm. Kept waking up, but when I went back to sleep my dreams continued! I found my dreams hilarious.

Even so, was so tempted to sleep at XYZ's (Jiaxuan, Jiaying, Jiawen) room while watching Tim, David, Gerald and Garian play Halo3. Hell tired.

Ate Turkish Delight! HAHAHA I remember in sec2 we used to tease this Opti sailor who had the words "turkish delight" on her boat. The way sailors recognise other sailors whom we don't know personally is funny. For example, "That SIN410 person ah, very-"

Went to Mel's place since the adults continued playing mahjong. Watched stupid Youtube vids and got tired so I came home at around 12.45AM.


7th APRIL = Linjie's birthday
8th APRIL = Gwen the Great's birthday
9th APRIL = Ms Balan and my awesome ge-pek's birthday

April is Awesome. ;)


THERE'S A FREAKING FLEA TOMORROW! But I can't go. And I got loads of work to do. Thought of going to get my Polaroid film tomorrow evening but no one's free.


Finally decided that I might get this phone.

Since I got no camera, might as well get a good camera phone, yes?

Or this one, its freaking pretty! With light effects and all. More of prettiness, less of good functions. Hmm.



NEVER GETTING TIRED OF THIS VIDEO!


11 April.

By now I would be penning down something and smiling like an idiot as I write it. Tradition? Not as much. I don't get what I'm feeling actually. Very mixed up, also very distracted from my studies. So I maintained for Jan and Feb, who cares?

Almost a month already and yet I'm like, HAHAHA CAN GO BANG A WALL AND DIE. I'm really damn tired of trying to get myself to hate, and showing how much I don't give a damn anymore on the outside.

But yet I'm kinda just keeping it in. Even my dreams!, like every week! I think I know why I've been so tired out already. Every time dream of something I don't wanna think about.. whatever I do reminds me of things we did.

If that isn't tiring, what is?

Told myself I'd get over it, just needed time. You're probably clean over it, and don't give a damn anymore. Good for you.

Question: Am I over it?

People who don't understand, just never will.

And why the hell am I writing all this in my blog? Ah whatev., see you people around. Kinda not in the mood to blog anymore. Happy sweet 16, G.


p.s. YC Lover, I really want time to give me the answers to my questions.

Love/Hate Situation

I feel so lifeless. No camera equals to HIGHLY no life.

Well, can't wait for after O's, my parents owe me my DSLR.

Oh, if anyone wants to sell me Polaroid 600 film or can inform me where to buy them, I'd love you like, forever! Seriously. Its so fun to have a polaroid, but a polaroid with no film makes you want to find a wall to bang.

(Polaroid camera's model: One Step Close Up)

Ran 2.4 today! Ugh bloody hot weather. Was the last person in 4E to finish. Embarassing much! Everyone was asking me what happened to my timing cuz I should have passed.

At least no one dissed me about my fitness, and Aaron had a nice way of asking.

Got grouped with Lipkoon again for English! Everytime we get grouped by Mdm Su., we always end up in the same group. Played Scrabble. English class my ass, Lipkoon got higher than me. Sadly Maruay wasn't in our group! He + Lipkoon = ULTIMATE CLOWNS.

Went down to NSC, rigged up my boat with the new sail. Apparently just as I was FINALLY done rigging up (the juniors didn't help me), I was happy and all when the CAT.1 signal sounded. Me and Nic Y. thought of launching, but when we saw rain coming towards us we ran to our sails to take them down.

Was dry actually, but it was raining so heavily. So I ran into the toilet, dumped my shoes there and ran outside to help the juniors. Good excuse to run out into the storm. I LOVE RAINY DAYS AND GETTING WET!

Can't wait till Ryan comes back for training. For some reason I can't fathom.

And to some; sec4 already, have some maturity. Just tahan for less than half a year. Don't think he's the root of all the problems in our sec4 group and he won't be.

BRYAN TAUGHT ME AND ZAKI HOW TO DO JUMPSTYLE! And in return I taught them how to do V-Variation for shuffling. Finally someone said I got style! :)

Bryan was like, "We can start our own Mayflower Sailing team dance group man. Got hiphop-er, jumpstyler, shuffler..".

Chatted the whole bus ride back with Quin, Linjie, Jack, Bryan and Zaki.

Me and Quin were like, reading this Chinese newspaper cutout that Jack passed to us. He was telling us some guy did more than him on the first try blah and we were like, "JACK!! JUST SAY OMG. SO YOU WIN OR NOT??"

Congrats! Hahaha now we know, just get pissed off if you wanna do more situps. And thanks for wanting to treat the sec4s to dinner! Haha.

Family brought me to eat chili crab, as my birthday dinner.

If theres one thing me and my mom have in common, its the love for seafood, especially crabs! Yummmm. Heehee. ;) my dad and bro absolutely dislike crab.


Okay shall update tomorrow. Need to catch some beauty Zzzs. Having tuition tomorrow before the family BBQ. Tiring shit.

seng il chukha hamnida Gee!

Its these little things that you notice-
these little things that make this person perfect.. to you.

Why do I still care? Yeah, great rhetorical question G.


I WANNA THANK SO MANY PEOPLE!

AGEK, sailors, Mel, Lover, Atiqah, Jiaqi, Manda, Sera, Jani, Alex, Qihua, Lianyi, Jingru, aiyah 4Endeavour in total!, Sally, Shanai, Eileen C., Joey T., Cass, Chuxian, Evelyn, Celine, Timothy, Dione, Xiaofen jiejie, Zahra jiejie, Carine, Loic, Kartini, Jonovan, Shirei, Cher Yee, Jacelyn, Gwen T., Yeongdeng, Hito, Kenkiong, Yining..

Okay I need time to recall. So many people wished me today!


I'm so sorry if you guys smsed me and I actually asked who are you! Gosh I feel so bad whenever I see an unknown number. Especially Eve! You wish me without fail every year, and I ask you every year without fail who are you cuz I always lose my phone! :(

AND MY MOM! For allowing me to cab to school cuz I was too tired today.

I don't know whats wrong with my body. Slept at like 10.30pm yesterday but my mom took so long to wake me up today.

AGEK, thanks for having dinner with me! And the lovely surprise in the canteen. Was so lonely waiting for you girls since I had Chinese period free, then suddenly a cake comes. Haha. Eileen, for missing like half of your pingpang qiu show @ 9PM just to have dinner with me. Hahaha. Its honestly been like forever since we had dinner on a school night. Can't wait till the O's are over, then we can have so much time together! LOVE YOU GIRLS LIKE HELL LOADS.

SAILORS! I can't tell you how much I'm beaming whenever I look at the polaroid camera on my table now k. Awesomeee. Belle you're awesome for even thinking of getting me a polaroid! :) hehe you guys finally saw my more crazy, screamish side when Belle passed it to me, ei? ;) I can't believe I freaking got a POLAROID for my birthday when I never actually asked for one. Okay besides blogging about how badly I wanted a polaroid, besides telling you guys "SOMEONE SPONSOR ME A DIGITAL CAMERA FOR MY BIRTHDAY!!!" etc.. heh.

LOVE ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO WISHED ME TO BITS. BITTTTTTS!

Minus Ryan and Iggy! Ryan for not wishing me cuz he said I still owe him a present and cake, and Iggy for stealing bits of my cheesecake!


PT today was pure torture omg. 5 rounds outside school in the hot, scorching sun! Glad to say I came out of it alive.

Kept telling myself I wasn't as weak as SOMEONE made me out to be, couldn't let myself stop or he'll just have more things to pin-point me about, so I just kept going, "Mind over body" and "Pain is relative". :)

Never got stitches so badly before, so.. ouch.

But yeah never tortured myself so badly during my birthday. Thanks for the concern juniors! Sorry I forced myself to run. Hehehhhh.

Watching Ghost Hunters on Star World now and they just recorded a ghost talking! And they even made out what the ghost was saying. GHunters say, "Francis? Are you there? Can you say something?". Ghost says, "Hello? Is someone there? Of course I'm here! Where are you?"in this super old British slang. Okay thanks Dad, I can't sleep tonight.

And my stomach is hurting very badly now. Like, VERY.

TTFN. Thank you lovelies so much again for the lovely day!

I honestly thought my birthday would've been crap, but thanks to these special people, I was really, really happy today. Okay except for one.

Ah,

"Life sucks cuz of boys"



MANDA! This was what I was talking about. Members of 2PM and Wonder Girls tango to Nobody - the tango ver. Sohee and NichKhun are damn cute! Sohee is cute haha. He's the only one who actually felt up her waist la, the other guys got no chemistry with the girls.

NOTE: TAKE UP TANGO IN KOREA TO SEE SHUAIGE.

SOMEONE GET ME THIS SONG!

Currently learning this :)

Every Heart by BoA, used in the famous anime Inuyasha.

Was looking for LALALA LOVE SONG's (by BoA) piano sheets but I ended up finding Every Heart instead. And since I used to wanna learn this song.. why not?

This guy plays it so nicely too! Can't tell you how envious I am of him. Honestly, I can't stand it when guys play better than girls cuz guys are stereotyped as macho, manly, masculine! Playing the piano well doesn't count! :(

Oh well, I remember how when I was younger I always told myself my future husband must be able to play instruments well and yet isn't some sissy weeny, must be strong or something. HAHA.

Listened to him play so many times already. Damn nice :) I'VE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH A PIANO PLAYER OMG. :o


Some photos I took from mayflowersec.fotki:




Yay to sailing team 2 :) heh. I didn't post my stupid picture here cuz all the photos Mr Tan/Carlo took of me were hell unglam! :(

Photos taken using my bro's phone, which is the same one Dee lent me yet I let it get stolen from me. Ugh, shall hate Saturday trainings forever.

See the hugeass purplish/black bruise? It hurts whenever I just gently touch it wth.

Stupid flash made this photo purple. But yeah, I can't read piano notes just like *snap*. You should see the way I learn a score, damn pathetic. I press the keys one by one till the one on my keyboard matches the one on the score.

Just pasted those Post-Its on today, since I got too rusty already.

And see what my mom passed to me this morning!

.

.

.

2GB USB CABLE! HAHAHA HOW CUTE IS THIS!

Getting a new phone on Thursday probably. Was thinking of getting a cheap one since I already have an iPod and a camera, but now that I don't have a camera I have to look for one that has a good camera. :(

And my parents are telling me to get a phone that's FOC with renewal of plan. No touch-screen phone fer me! :(

It seems like they're now very mindful with the way we spend our money. Dad says that tomorrow the automobile shop will call him to inform him if the car needs to be scraped or not. Mom said that if it needs to be, Dad will lose like $10k?

Thought of getting the same phone Dee lent me, but the camera quality sucks. So I just thought of getting the same one to replace it and give it to him as a way of apologizing cuz I still feel damn guilty that I lost his phone. Then I'll just stick to using the old passed-down phone.

Went to pray for gonggong and popo today afternoon.

Was contemplating whether to let my parents send me for sailing first, or send me after praying. Called Mr Yeo and told him I might go, depending on whether my body can take it.

Went down to the temple to lay out the offering. Burned joss sticks and stuff and prayed. Went inside the col-something to find my grandparent's ashes thing. Found them and I started tearing as I looked at their photo.

Can't say how much I miss them, words will never be enough.

My parents told me that me and Gerald were like the most doted on and that my grandparents would do ANYTHING for both of us, especially my gonggong, who would play with us whenever possible.

Sigh. I miss them so much.

At least now I remember my popo's departure date: 16/09/99. My gonggong's one is in.. start of year 2000.

After that it was too late to go down to NSC, didn't think the praying would take so long. And I was way too tired. So went down with my parents to buy the new taps and showerheads cuz all of those in my house spoilt. Went opposite school for dinner with them, then waited for the sailors.

Thought the first bus would only have juniors. Ah well. Went into school since my parents wanted to go off first. Mom went to NTUC cuz she wants to bake cheesecake with me later so that we can eat it tomorrow for my birthday :)

Saw the juniors come down. Iggy made fun of me again! Like how Wenfeng and Ryan did the night I talked to Lover. Haha.

The juniors remembered/know that my birthday's tomorrow! :D so honoured! Gladys gave me a hug awwww, and Shiting was damn nice too. Love them!

Mubarak and Weiming even said they wanted to give me a birthday bash on Thursday. And when sailors say birthday bash they mean hit you as many times as how old you are. But apparnetly I managed to miss their "birthday bashes" for the past few years :P

Just..

Looking forwards to a cheerful day tomorrow.

Hopefully nothing will get my mood down.

Parents wanna bring me to Airport's Terminal 3 for dinner, but I think I might be too tired after remedial+pt. :(

Well, looking forward to seeing my girls! :)

Watch it.

It took Aunty Tun 40mins to wake me up today.

I couldn't open my eyes, was too tired even tho I had what, 5hours of sleep in the afternoon and 6hours of sleep at night? I couldn't go back to sleep so I started thinking about - again, for God knows what reason why. Then I felt damn pathetic.

Tossed and turned, tried to get some shut eye but couldn't. I just started crying cuz I got all frustrated. Searched up some things on being mentally and emotionally drained, and for some reason I wanted to read my bible even tho I've not for a damn long time.

Went to search for it in my cupboard, where I usually put it.

To my ultimate horrors of horrors, I COULDN'T FIND IT. Omg it really meant a lot to me, especially since it was a gift from shepherd Yining! :( I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE MOVING MY STUFFS AROUND!!

http://realityworks.blogspot.com/2006_07_01_archive.html

Read on how it was like for me during interschools when I was sec1. The part where I chipped Tzuling's daggerboard and tiller extensions was hell funny. As I read my posts I remembered how horrible and guilty I felt, even tho it chipped off when Wenfeng (?) or someone helped me to recover my boat. Me, Ryan and David chipping our daggerboards together was the worst yet funniest part! Haha.

Some part of me is eagerly awaiting interschools..

2 more weeks guys!

To the sec4s:
Lets give it our best shot! For these two weeks, its time to chiong. Take charge of PT and show the juniors what we're really made of! 4 years of training and disicipline. :) you guys are like THE most awesome people I've ever met (besides AGEK), taking care of me like a little sister since there are only 2 girls and I'm like the most baby/weak one in our batch (Quinnie's tougher). Love you guys to the max!


Think I'll be going down to sail later even tho I'm still feverish now.

At least someone won't be able to diss me for my fitness. Cuz for your information, if theres one thing I don't like, its someone talking about me for my fitness level. And no Nic W., it wasn't you, and Ryan, it wasn't Jack.

Try almost-having something (I refuse to take my blood test to confirm it D:) that makes your blood pressure low, and makes you feel faint easily and have difficulty breathing. I'm already pushing myself a lot for sailing. I don't give two hoots about what you say but trying to diss every thing I pointed out? That's low.


If I really was the person you were trying to make me sound like during that so-called 'level bonding time', I would've gone home on the first afternoon of camp. You had NO IDEA how fucking pain my head felt, how many times I cried before you came cuz it hurt so badly, or how drained out I was cuz of Sports Day. You didn't see me when I suddenly stopped running and just sat down on the pavement outside school to grab my head while crying. Only Amanda and Wenfeng did, and she had to help me back inside school, where I cried even more cuz I felt so useless.

Besides the juniors, Wenfeng was really caring, telling me to skip the stations thing we did on the first day even tho I insisted on doing it, which I eventually did.

The whole "Some people were already sitting down after the first round of running" part of your little pointing-out talk. Think I didn't realise that I was the only sec4 sitting down after one round of running with the group?

Talking to WF during the 'bonding session' after Mrs Sidhu's mental preparation really helped. Even tho I cried infront of him, I didn't feel bad. Thats where I say, YOU have no freaking idea how bad I was feeling since day 1 of the camp; I'm sec4 yet my juniors are more fit than me! What kind of a useless senior am I?

So sometimes, before dissing me and pointing out my flaws in fitness, you should really consider how what you say affects me.

Thanks a lot ah, you should've just put Drey's name in the list of people running for Intercca relay so that you could've subbed in someone else instead of putting down my name when its confirmed I'll be there. I know I suck in running etc. It really made me feel damn bad and guilty for not enabling us to get 1st or something ya.

I know you hate me to the core, but sometimes you could chose better words. :)

And to the other, I'm really tired. Point said, point taken.

Okay enough of ranting. :):):)

Can't wait for interschools. Even tho I'll miss people like Ryan, Wenfeng, Nic W. and Linjie very much, still. I won't have to see or put up with some things anymore.

I love those guys!

But I don't like their scaring me on the last day of camp. Stupid Ryan!

p.s. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LINJIE, 1-DAY-OLDER-THAN-ME 'BRO'!



LOVEEEEEES. He plays LALALA LOVE SONG so nicely!

Hungry.

Never have a chocolate+custard-filled croissant thing 2 hours before dinner or you'll not eat dinner. And now I'm hungry for something soupy.

My body is pretty weird.

Did I mention I have a hugeass bruise on my left upper arm?

When I bathed this morning, I stared at it in the mirror cuz I thought it was a freaking fugly tanline! One closer look and I realised it was an ugly purple bruise. Mel, your favourite color.

Hallelujah.

Dad wants to bring us to the airport for dinner on my birthday! Memories of the place, haha funny. I wanna take a bus home from there again! Nice excuse for a nap.

Actually all I want now for my birthday is just a better phone and a CAMERA, omg just found out I can't live without one! And an Arsenal jersey with NASRI #8! MY DAD OWES ME THE LAST ONE.

I'm not looking forward to my birthday, obviously.

I forgot today was 6th April, 2 more days.

Can't recall the last time I forgot the date when it was 2 days before my birthday. Infact, by 5th April I'd be quite hyped up about my birthday coming. Which, I am NOT?

Maybe cuz I'm not expecting anything, and at the start of this year I was kinda hoping I'd be celebrating with a more special bunch of people/person, like -, AGEK, sailors etc like last year. But noooo, this year I can't/am unable to.

Can't celebrate with AGEK cuz we're all busy! Eileen and Ker has CCA? So a good lunch in school with them would suffice for it cuz I got PT after that. Sec4s promised we'd take on a more united front or something to taking charge of this CCA..

Well, we'll see about that.

NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO ANYTHING.

How pathetic can I get.

Who freaking wants to turn 16?
Well, not me.

Happy be-earlied birthday, Gwennie.


p.s.

HAHAHA Ryan. Now we can agree on your self-proclaimed cuteness.
Okay maybe not.

Never give up, on us.

I used to love sailing because of the people in it.

Well now, maybe not so much.

Thanks to people like the graduated seniors, Wenfeng, Ryan and Nic W., and some juniors, I actually enjoyed the camp a bit lesser than half.

I really disliked being there.

(Daomin, Chiaee, Trina etc: I'm so sorry I walked out of the toilet in a huff like that. I was really upset (NOT AT/WITH YOU GIRLS!), and I didn't wanna stay there and emo or something. Needed to be alone. You guys were being concerned and I just brushed you guys off like that, so I'm really, REALLY sorry.)

Talked to Lover at night after coming back from boat-washing. Miss talking to her like that! Its been so long. We're both so busy.. gosh. Was talking about how upset I was cuz ever since that incident, I never talked to the sec4 guys anymore.

The funny thing was, a while after I said that, some of the sec4 guys (minus 1) (like Wenfeng, Ryan, Nic Wong) came over to disturb me by saying it was so dark and they couldn't see who was sitting beside YC, and I threw my shoebag at them. Hahaha! Funny idiots. Love these guys loads. Thanks for always being there for me to cheer me up!

Who are your fair-weathered friends and who are your true friends?

OH THERE WAS A FIRE AT NSC. HAHAHA. Me and Jiabin spotted it. At first it was like this really, rilly small flame near the generators. We were getting stuffs from the cage. Then we stared at the small fire..

"Is that a fire?"
"Eh, looks pretty small. Its not those incense thing right."
"That thing beside it is the power generator, isn't it?"
"o___o omg."

-both slowly walks towards the generator and stares underneath it..-

*sees that the underneath of the generator is on fire. Like, BIG FLAMES GUSHING OUT FROM THE GREEN METAL THINGY*

"OH MY GOD."
"GWEN, ITS ON FIRE!!!!!"

And I ran out and shouted to the rest of the sailors, "FIREEEEEE!!!" and went to tell Mrs Sidhu.

No photos cuz even tho I brought a camera, I spent the mornings and nights manually deleting the hundreds of photos I took, so long that the batt I charged went from 145+mins to 15mins when I returned it.

Took 2 photos from Farhana's Facebook. Shall look for more later when my internet decides not to cock up on me.

Zach Poon, Wenfeng, Jack, Nic W., Quin, me, Linjie and Ryan.
Loveeee these people.

Btw, thanks Older Bro for the talk that night.
For once, I was looking at a side of you I've never really seen.
Thanks for being there. :)

Sleepy heads Trina, (not sure who), Marilyn, Daomin and me. HAHA.

Was so good to see Tzuling, Luoling, Ning and Peckkhee again!


After sailing the (new) boats from NSC to SAFYC Changi (Jhing towed us there, if not it would've taken like 2 hours to sail there), we derigged, showered and headed back for school.

Slept the whole bus ride and woke up with my right leg and left arm numb cuz I slept till my arm was sticking out and dangling.

Saw some band people coming down while we dried our CRISPY NEW sails, but didn't see Yokeching. :(

Felt feverish and wanted to cab back, but decided not to waste money so I took a bus. Finally ate spaghetti for dinner and fell asleep after watching TV/laptop.

Was supposedly meant to meet Celine and her mom to look at a new phone, but was too tired. Sorry girl! Meeting you on Thursday, yes?

------------------------------
Aunty Tun had to call me up a few times this morning. I had like, 9 hours of sleep and yet I was still so tired I couldn't wake up.

Trudged my way to school, literally.

Felt damn giddy during the singing of the national anthem and had no energy to say the pledge. Thought I was gonna faint, and Ker kept asking me to go home. Informed Ms Balan after morning assemb.

It was too cold in the office, so I went outside to sit.

Thanks Ker, for running around to find Mdm Loh to sign the form! :)

Called my mom to come down to pick me up. She had a tinge of what the hell in her voice.

I was like, feverish and giddy. Waited outside the G.O. from around 7.50AM to 9.20. Saw Marilyn headed to get her bandage changed so I accompanied her.

Was damn upset with some stuffs my mom said, very insensitive.


Maybe I fall sick so often its nothing new to her. But doesn't it occur to you that if your daughter calls you to pick her up from school, she must be really quite sick?


Had my breakfast and fell asleep till 3.40pm. Still felt damn tired when I woke up. Dad bought me something from the airport's Crystal Jade! :D Seems like whenever I'm sick, I get a lot of food to eat. FAT.


p.s. Pictures of Nasri for you to ogle at since I've not been blogging about him..

Nasri why you never fly with him :(

CUTIE PIEEEE OMG.

I'm gonna cut out the article on Sunday's newspaper and highlight Nasri's name cuz the writer put him under his (opinion) skilled players of Arsenal list.

EPL 2010, WATCH OUT FOR THE GUNNERS MAN.

(I'm very sad that Nasri didn't play for Saturday's match tho. Shall look forward to tomorrow's match! ARSENAL vs. VILLARREAL!)

Just realised I liked Nasri since quite a while back!
http://realityworks.blogspot.com/2008/10/wakey-wakey.html

HAHA to you people who thought I just started liking him!

WELCOME BACK, FABREGAS!

We all love Youtube.

.

.

.

Yes, we all LUV youtube.

I am.. upside down.

April Fool's!

My day started off with me walking into 4E, seeing a kinda depressed Manda sitting at her seat.

I put down my bag, turned to her and said "Good morning Manda!" and sat down while preparing for Chem. She turned to me looking very gloomy and said, "Gwen.. I got bad news for you.... My family is migrating to Australia in December.."

Immediately Ker and Mel's head turned behind and we were all staring at a depressed Manda, looking like she was close to tears. Ker said, "You going with your family?"

"To join your sister is it?" was all I could say actually.

"Yes.."

After a while of silence.. Ker's facial expression started to change to one that looked suspicious.

"You're bluffing us, aren't you?"

"April Fool's!"

As usual, in Gwen-slowness, I looked at Manda and went, "So are you migrating?" and all 3 of them were like, "OMG GWEN!!! HAHAHA SLOWWWW."

=.=


During Chemistry, Mr Lim started by giving us a pop quiz. Structural equations.. I stared at my foolscap paper dumbfounded for the whole 30mins plus. "20 pumping per wrong answer!"

I was like, very frustrated cuz everyone was writing at least SOMETHING, but I was just staring at my paper. And I was having a headache.

"Times up! Okay exchange your papers."

"Who got 15?" (if I remembered correctly full marks is 15).. "Who got 14?" and so on. When he hit the "who got 5?" he decided to stop counting down cuz he didn't expect someone to get lower than 5.

"20 per wrong answer ah!" and the whole class made noise.

Thru the noise, I shouted, "Eh Mr Lim!! Get 0 marks do how many?"

Suddenly the whole class went quiet and turned to look at me. QH was like, "WELL DONE GWEN! LOL OMG."

Then the whole class made noise that 20 was too much and he cut it down to 10 per wrong answer. So we did ours, and naturally I was slowest cuz I had 140 pushups to do, and I could only do boy's style since we never do girl's style in sailing. "Wah, Gwen, boy's style ah! Power leh.."

"Gwen, how much already?"

"93!!!"

"Okay nevermind, go back to your seat la, haha."

When I walked past him, "April Fool's!! HAHAHA, when did I EVER make you guys do pumping for wrong answers in a pop quiz!!! HAHAHAHAAA."

o____o

Me no likey April Fool's.

(psssst, Mr Lim! You DID make us do pumping once in sec3 for a pop quiz. "10 pumping per wrong answer hor!" I remembered I did 70 pumping.)

During English you could hear this boy screaming "APRIL FOOL'S!! HAHAHAHA APRILLLL FOOLSSSSS!!!!! AHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

And oh, we got the old man replacement during Chinese again! Oh goodness. Xuanming kept disturbing me while me and Alex kept talking! Funny idiot.


Didn't run during PT today cuz my flu was back. I really need to start sleeping earlier. I didn't eat breakfast this morning cuz dad was giving Gerald a ride to school in his temporary replacement car (his car is still at the workshop) so I rushed.

Started to feel the effects of sleeping late + skipping breakfast again. You get horribly whoozy, and you can't think straight. Plus the fact I'm bleeding (yes, monthly thing), its just horrible to skip breakfast.

Nevertheless, only ate a proper meal during Lit remedial.

Settling the jersey nonsense with the sailors is hard work!

While Iggy, Belle and Yeow camped in 4E doing their debate script while I helped out with the hamster, Iggy got a call.

He told me, "Eh you know, the shop called me. I thought it was an April Fool's prank you know! Almost said 'FUCK YOU!' into the phone leh. Then I listen and listened, they told me all the sizes and I realised it was real. -.-"

HAHAHA.

So they'll be getting our jerseys ASAP. :\

Jack suggested that the sec4s make a jacket like Zac Poon's year did. Actually, not a bad idea cuz Nic Wong also suggested that. But Ryan and Iggy had a good time dissing his (Jack's) idea the moment it came out of his mouth..

Surprisingly I didn't join in.

Walked to the bus stop with Ryan and we were like talking as randomly as we were! He OFFERED to calculate the total amount of money I collect for the jerseys, which would be like 600bucks?

Thanks so much Takyongggg! :):):) good to have a friend who is good in Math, and offers to help you calculate MONEY. I would've died calculating that big sum.

So, people who are making the jerseys,

OWE MONEY, PAY MONEY!!!
Whoohooooo, I love being treasurer sometimes.


And those who haven't paid the sailing funds..
OWE MONEY, PAY MONEY TO YOU TOO!


My dad's coming home with Burger King for me and Gerald to share. :) I'm awaiting it eagerly. And I'm not very sure what is up with my weird appetite recently. I never get hungry till 9pm plus, which is bad cuz you get fat eating around that time.

Okay, back to my long-awaited research on Autism I've been owing Ms Balan since forever! Plus my research on the book Heart of Darkness, which appeared in our Lit text.


p.s. I spent 2 hours plus trying to fix my printer, when the only problem was THE USB CABLE WAS LOOSE AT THE PRINTER! UGHHHHH for the household's tech-savvy person, I AM kinda stupid.

"Hey."

I love Livejournal because they can private your posts.

Finally ranted out some of my feelings there. Can't take it anymore.
Since someone once said my blog was too.. open?

(EDITED)

I wanted to spam this post. I mean, after what Eileen told me during recess, plus my dad's thing.. I really got damn upset.

Then halfway thru my Angry Post, I read thru my old Livejournal private posts..

12th October 2008, my posts started talking more and more about my feelings towards _.

And the post just before 12th Oct was the post when we were still quarreling about the Iggy and Maple shit.

The only people I REALLY talk to now are Kerrie and Justin Law.

_.. he threw away our friendship just like he'd throw rubbish into a bin. Its all just that easy to him.

He just has no idea how much I treasure our friendship; how much I miss him right now.
I tried making him and Iggy alright, but in the end.. now they're good friends again and me?


So.. we're going thru what we went thru is it?

Eh, funny.

22 August 2008, still emo posts on my Livejournal.. like a whole long bloody post, about the sec3 sailors in particular, and how they treated me like I was invisible (well only people like Ryan and the juniors didn't?). Hahaha.

9th December.. reading that post made me smile.

I'm crying like eff now, if you wanted to know.

1st February, 5th February.. all about the same person and how happy I was. My posts never complained about how pissed I was. Why do I never do what I truly think inside?

Then suddenly jumped to 31 March 2009.

"Fuck youuuuuuu."
.

.

.

"EFF-"

All the vulgarities came back, and it was all about how I hated my upcoming birthday this year and how I will never look forward to it except the clubbing with Alex.

I amuse myself, seriously.


And how this was a Angry-Post-Turned-Nostalgic-Post-cuz-I-read-my-livejournal's-private-journal-entries really makes me feel like crap, cuz I'm once again swayed from my focus.

I was so close to thinking I'd hate that person.. but reading those journal entries on my Livejournal just made me think wrong, AGAIN.


This journal entry of my livejournal.. seriously the best.

I just said, "Haha, good luck then. :)" not realising it was me.
Then after a while of my typical Gwen-slowness, I smsed him again,

"I guess she'll wait. Don't worry. :)"

"Allrites. she will nt be waiting for v long ~"

I hope not. :)

Cherish, dear.

(for someone who just got into an accident.. you take good photographs with your handphone, Dad!)

My dad's car is the black, smashed up Matrix.

I'm gonna pray for his checkup to be alright before I sleep later.

G LOVES SAMIR NASRI. says:
cuz this morning when my dad sent me to school (omfg rare)
i saw a lot of funerals on the way
belle says:
haha
G LOVES SAMIR NASRI. says:
as in like
ya
belle says:
as in the omfg rare part
G LOVES SAMIR NASRI. says:
then when i was on the bus home
i saw a few more funerals
belle says:
uhhuh
why
so many people died today?

My dad sent me to school, which is REALLY rare now cuz he leaves the house at 4:30AM. Saw funerals here and there. On the bus home from Queensway too.

Then I had this.. bad feeling.

While walking home, met Mom and Dad. I was like, "Where are you going? Its late leh."

My mom said, "Aiyah we're going A&E. Your dad got into an accident and he feels pain around his chest area."

o_________o

My dad was trying to show us how fit he was, doing stretches and all. My heart kinda sank, cuz he might not notice that I noticed this, but he kept pounding at his chest every time he stretched and tried to show us that he's fine.

On the way to the bus stop, *poundpoundpound*.

He decided not to go cuz it takes hours for a checkup in A&E and he has work later since he's gotta go to the store to do stock taking.

He then reminded me of my most memorable hospital stay thingy:
My parents had to rush to my ahmah's house (they went to some function) at 10pm plus, then drove me to KK Hospital. We were there till 5am? I had to stay there for them to observe me as I slept. Then my dad carried me to the car, and I puked on him. LOL.


Okay bad memories aside..

The taxi driver blamed my dad! I know his driving is sometimes fast, cuz I used to sit at the center seat all the time and ALWAYS made sure the speed meter thing didn't go above 90, but doesn't mean you can blame him! LOOK AT THE PICTURES!!

SEE WHO'S AT FAULT?????!

IDIOT.
If that's the idiot, well, YEAH.

See how the car is smashed up at the driver's side?

I can't believe it.

My parents are like, car accident magnets!

(FLASHBACK:)
When I was pri5 or something.

The bloody driver sped past the traffic light when it was red and my mom was crossing, chionging for her bus! Thank God the car only ran over her foot, cuz my mom said she felt it at her waist or something but fell backwards. Loads of witnesses. She couldn't walk properly or something for a while..

I could only keep thinking what if she was just two steps faster?

--------------------------------------
I feel like I'm almost close to tears.

Feeling worried but yet so thankful!

I mean, imagine what it would've been like if the taxi had rammed my dad's car A BIT lower down? EFFFFF.


I took time to think. Maybe this is God's way of telling me to WAKE UP! and treasure everyone around me, and to stop being how I am now?

Life is short.

Too short for me to remain sad for long, too short to do things I would regret, too short for me to make mistakes.

We all have to live our lives to the fullest.

We only have one lifetime, so treasure it and make full use of it before its too late. Especially when it comes to people around you, you never know when they might be gone suddenly.

Love them for who they are. They love you for who YOU are, right?

Well, I kinda decided on one thing now.

Focus on my studies. Focus on solving my current problems. FOCUSSSSSS.
ommmmmmmmmmmmm..

A friend once told me to treasure everyone around me. Eh, well, it only hit me now when I found out I was this close to losing (both) my parents. Gawd!

Like, I keep feeling something bad will happen now. Okay, so gonna pray for Dad before I sleep later!


ON THE OTHER HAND..

Went to Queensway Shopping Centre with the sailors today to check out the jerseys! :)

Very happy, cuz the one we decided on, tho its expensive, its CHIO.

I saw the Arsenal home jersey, freaking 111bucks!

At first I was in a bad mood after SS remedial cuz the theatrette was so stuffy I spent the whole 30+mins trying to breathe properly. And I kept sweating. Finished, had a bloody headache. So when the guys couldn't make up their minds about going, I started PMSing. Can ask Belle, I was cursing all the way!

It felt weird.. its been so long since we've hung out together. Haha.

Took a bus to TP then changed to 855. Walked around and rackied, cuz Iggy and Teng thought the jersey was gone.

After walking up and down, they found it at another location in the same shop. Found a nice spot to sit at nearby and started calling all the sailors.

Got everything, took a while to order cuz they had no stock. Note, if you want someone to help you bargain, ask Ryan! He did a pretty good job, except it started to get annoying after a while!

And I find it very annoying when people put you down infront of others.

Reminder of the day to self: Learn to be less vulgar.

I am the camwhoring queen to the max.

When you are bored at home on a Sunday, and its raining, what do you do?

Yes..

Yes.....

You're getting warmer..
CAMWHORE.
Hore.

I am so random. Supposed to be doing the English assignment but till now I'm not even near 1% of completing it!

Supposed to go to Queensway Shopping Centre with Iggy, Teng, Mubarak and Yuanlong to find jerseys for the sec4 sailors, but was stuck at lao gim's place for lunch till like 3 (eating popiah! After sooo long) and I didn't bring my phone since it had no batt and I couldn't be bothered anyways so..

SORRY IGNATIUS THIAM! Hahaha.

He called and told me they found one. And wtf, "limited ed. and I think its green and yellow and Teng thinks its blue and yellow and YL thinks its.." eh shit should've gone!

Wtf me and Ryan still want our red jerseys.. I hope?

ITS NOT SHIT RED. MAROON IS NOT SHIT RED.
Ryan has issues! Especially with colors that are associated with Arsenal.









Woah I just had a long chat with someone I least expected to talk to about this kind of thing- Faris! Haha. He just asked why I was so upset and we ended up talking till now, like we've known each other for damn long or something.

Its good to finally found someone who's.. going thru the same pain I feel now?

And it was funny seeing how much we understood how it feels man. Totally going thru the same things. Its like, I can give him advise on moving on etc.. but if I were to tell myself that it'd never work. How stupid, right?

OKAY GO DO YOUR ENGLISH ASSIGNMENT ALREADY, GWENDOLYN NEO!

Wordy post, lots of reflections.

(BEFORE READING: Sorry about the lengthy post! My mind suddenly connected everything I blogged about to something else so I blogged about it too. :) you can skip this you know!)


I'm like, sitting at the little walkway in my parent's room to blog!

As usual, their mahjong khakis came over to play again. We played with my PSP while it was connected to the TV outside, feels like a makeshift of a PS2 or something.

The screen colors come out in B&W and green. And it lags. $36.50 wasted, Dad!

Played football downstairs with the kids at 10.15pm. The feeling of playing at night is damn shiok, no wonder the sailors always play after the bbq during sailing camps. Playing under the stars? Just amazing and breath-taking.

I expected to be a righty since I'm right-handed and all, but I'm a lefty when it comes to football. My dad was shocked too, cuz he and my bro are both rightys in football.

I found out why I enjoy it so much. When I play, I spend my time thinking about where to kick the ball etc. I don't waste time thinking about other things and get moody 'bout it.

It takes my mind off things for just those few hours. So yeah, guess thats a reason.

Think after I settle some stuffs, I wanna ask the sailors to stay over at my place then go play soccer downstairs at night. Will be damn fun!


It occured to me that I can't change who I am. Infact, who can?

I am who I am.

Emotional, impulsive, rough, hasty.. just like what they said in the Holland Code paper. Artistic people are emotional etc. I depend a lot on my emotions (I won't deny this), and I play as I go. I don't care if one moment I'm smiling and the next I'm crying and getting emo, cuz thats who I am.

We are only human. Sometimes, you don't even realise you're doing it. You just do. After that you'll be thinking, "Oh shit, that was fucking stupid of me!" like me.

I'm the kind who will always show how I am feeling- an open display of emotions.

When I'm sad I'll just cry. When I'm happy I turn so hyper my friends think I'm nuts. When I'm frustrated and mad, I take it out on walls or anything solid nearby.

But thats me; I can't change it.

Tho the venting of anger on the walls.. yeah I think I need to change that cuz honestly, my knuckle hurts whenever I touch it and its making me worried. :(

p.s. I PMS a lot.


Idk why but I suddenly feel like blogging about the sailors. Haha.

Maybe because it suddenly occured to me that I'm sec4, in a few months time I'll never see them often, and its just not gonna be the same without them, especially the sec4s.


Seeing pictures of our Dec camp in Krabi really made me nostalgic.

I miss every single nonsense that happened there- the kayaking with Belle (and capsizing, wtf!), the mozzies we all tried so hard to avoid, the Truth or Dares in the guys' room (well I fell asleep), walking around with my group at night when it was so chilly that I kept wearing my jacket around..

Heh!

If the trip didn't have them, well, it'd be sucky.

Suddenly I miss them a lot! Haha. Most of my fond and sour memories were from sailing, I just realised.

Maybe its just this strong bond we have (or used to have) between us that makes this bunch of nonsensical people so special to me.

.

.

.

Suddenly I'll be finding myself missing them shitloads.

Suddenly, I'm graduating with an 'older' brother, gwen-daughters (their pun)..

And people like Donovan, Ariel, Daomin, Yanling, Ning and Siungee! In every batch there is an ex-Aitong student in it. I was pretty amazed at that fact and till now I still am.

Eating recess everyday together with most of the sec4s last year.. one of the things I will never forget. Was so much fun being around them so often. Like, I don't give a damn. Unglam then unglam lor, out of the 10 of us 8 are guys so why bother. They've seen me, my stupidness AND my center parting since sec1 and we can't change that LOL.

So I guess I'm used to them. Very.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know dear, how much I love you, please don't take, my sunshine awayyyyyy~

Well. I just miss them a lot. We're not as close this year (obviously). Well only a few I guess. But still.

I really don't wanna graduate cuz I'll miss people like them. So heartbreaking right!

Friends I've gained.. and lost.. along the way. Well.

They'll just always be my dears whom I love very much! :):):)

Aww, I'm so sweet right? ;)


I just searched up the lyrics for You Are My Sunshine, and was quite shocked.

The other night dear, as I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
So I hung my head and I cried.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

I'll always love you and make you happy,
If you will only say the same.
But if you leave me and love another,
You'll regret it all some day:

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

You told me once, dear, you really loved me
And no one else could come between.
But not you've left me and love another;
You have shattered all of my dreams:

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

In all my dreams, dear, you seem to leave me
When I awake my poor heart pains.
So when you come back and make me happy
I'll forgive you dear, I'll take all the blame.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

I miss you.

Gawd if I could just turn back time.
I would've done so many things differently.

Me, I may be emotional but I actually struggle to express myself most of the time. When I feel like that I do something that shows the total opposite. I don't know why. I think I'm a weirdo too, no worries.

I always do things to regret them later..
How true of my situation now.

Ning was trying to tell me her good news yesterday, but I just cut her off when I couldn't pretend my "haha's" anymore.

Thanks a lot for talking to me hun, and yeah I guess I shouldn't have done so many of the things I did but like I said, I do things rashly without processing the consequences in my small, puny brain almost 80% of the time.

(You still haven't told me WHO?!!)

Its so stupid of me. I found someone I really like, someone who meant everything to me and treats me so nicely. But 1., I didn't show how happy I was just to have him and 2., I did stupid stuffs to ruin everything. So now here I am, wallowing in self-pity, AGAIN.

What happened?

Not even talking now. I'm like, stuck between situations.

My dad told me that guys aren't as emotional as girls are in relationships. Once they don't want, means they don't want. They don't think too much about it. Like, its good for me so its gotta go, NOW kinda thing.

Well..

Just, take it one step at a time and start from square one again. Tho its kinda hard since we're not even friends?
What will be, will be.

Shit you laaaaaa, I really miss having you as a friend!

Did you forget that I was even alive?
Did you forget everything we ever had?
Did you forget, did you forget about me?

Did you regret ever standing by my side?
Did you forget we were feeling inside?
Now I'm left to forget about us

But somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song, you can't forget it

So now I guess this is where we have to stand
Did you regret ever holding my hand?
Never again, please don't forget, don't forget

I want you back. Hard, isn't it?

Well, I'll live with it.

I still have my studies, football and dance to focus on and love. Looking forward to so many things after O's! FREEDOM! OFFICIALLY!

Take one step at a time,
there's no need to rush.

At least.
I fight for what I want.

Eat! Not.

Woke up on the sofa again -.-

How? I had a damn bad case of gastric again so I went outside to tell my mom. Then I just lay there cuz I couldn't move since I was getting giddy. My mom asked me to eat sweet stuffs cuz I was like fainting like last time, but I refused to so she let me try to sleep. Dad was like nagging at me, "Whatever problems you have in your life now, can you just look after your health? Everyday you sleep so late, later than 2am. Now you refuse to eat?" and I started crying.

Then mom scolded me after finding out I skipped dinner.

Eh, how was I supposed to know that you need to eat after playing 2hrs of football.

And I haven't eaten breakfast. Don't ask me why. Like, if you don't like eating, and you're not in the mood to, you've got that perfect reason to not eat.

Why force yourself?

So I did my tuition homework. I like factorization.

Re-installing my Microsoft Office and Home Student. Need to do the English assignment on my ambition. I still haven't decided between 2 of my choices, and its getting frustrating like hell. Everyone else in English class decided but not me -.-

So my laptop now is lagging since I'm appearing offline on MSN and everyone's signing in. I hate my laptop! Think someone bought the secondhand Macbooks :(

Think I'll go watch Spongebob Squarepants now.

Tuition in 1 hour.


Xoxo,
G.