I haven't studied the whole day la!

Omg I feel guilty already. Its such a sin not to study when I've missed a day of school can. Ahhh heck. I better go chiong my Science chapters later and finish up my Math tuition work D:

I accidentally slept today, so end up when I woke up it was 6.30.

After dinner I took my medicines... 2 pills and some cough syrup. Wth, that's like a lot to me la. "Don't worry, its just a flu yeah." oh great. Have to take so much crap for just a flu.

Worse still, my headache's coming back again. Whywhywhyyyy? D:

I'm still broading over the literature test crap. And Ms Goh still hasn't given me my common test paper back yet! I wanna see whats the 'good answer' that she read out in class la. And oh, she said I'm SECOND in class. She was like, "Oh ya, Gwen, and you're like 1st or 2nd in class if I remember correctly. Your paper was quite well written."

I went back to my place literally screaming inside. Heh. Sooooo, I really wanna see my test paper. :D MS GOH PLEASE REMEMBER IT!

There's lit remedial tomorrow after school :D so excited. I must be a bit mad, cos while people frown at remedials, I'm grinning from ear to ear over it. But its only cos its LIT remedial.

I think I love lit cos its the only subject I got 2nd in class for, and the only subject I got an A1 for. The rest are like, Bs. D:

Okay, gotta buck up! :]

gwen's life is screwed.

OHMAHGOD

I CANNOT BELIEVE I MISSED THE LITERATURE TEST TODAY.
Oh baby, life is so screwed.

I'm praying its just a small class test. No marks taken into consideration for EOYs or shit. Pleasepleaseplease..

I realised as little kids we make mistakes. We can make the same mistakes over and over again without feeling guilty, as teenagers we make mistakes, but when there's a second time we're barely scrape past being literally killed. As adults, we make mistakes-

- and get hanged :D

And there was a freaking black spider in my room. Oh screw spiders. What a shitload. Accidentally killed one in the toilet yesterday when changing cos I was stomping on the ground to chase it out of the cubicle. That one was yellow, grey, white and black. It got stuck in the bottom sole thingy of my shoe. Hurhur. R.I.P. you disgusting thing :O

gwen is sickkkkk.

I really didn't go to school today! D:

Woke up feeling really terrible. When I talked my throat hurt like shit and I sounded like a frog the whole morning. Kept feeling dizzy and my head hurt. And I was coughing like shit ) :

So my mom let me rest at home. Heh. I feel guilty la ): exam's in 2 weeks time and I'm totally not prepared. I really dunno how I'm gonna cram all the tested subjects into my brain IN TWO WEEKS.

There was Math and Lit periods today! ARGH. I regret okay. I need to work on my lit more la if I'm really gonna get that 90marks I'm aiming for. And for Math.. uhh. Sorry Mr Leong. Weakest student in class for Math didn't come to school today yeah.

All the subjects I needed and liked, are like, all today! I regretregretregret not going to school. I don't mind going to school and suffering there la ):

Art, Lit, Chinese and Math. Need Chinese and Math, love Art and Lit. ESPECIALLY art and lit :D sigh. Luckily all these fall on Tuesdays. Cos there's also SAILING on Tuesdays! :D So I can be sure I'm never gonna miss school on Tuesdays :]

Went to the polyclinic at 11AM+. Waited damn long for everything that needed waiting for. The registration, doctor, medicine. Waste of my time. Ended up the consultation lasted around around 10mins? Maybe even lesser.

Then went to my gran's place to fetch my bro from there. Saw my aunt on the way there cos I think she just visited my gran. Ah ma's waist still hurts D: omg la. She doesn't wanna see the chinese doc cos she says wearing the support for waist thingy would work just fine. Wth? Seeing her like that I feel damn xin tong la. ) : sigh.

So now, I'm home. Slacking.

Damn, I really need to study le la.. I already feel guilty enough of not going to school and missing two of the subjects I'm doing worst for D:

Gonna go hopping around for a while more on the Net. Then Imma go finish up my Math tuition homework.

GWEN SHALL BE HARDWORKING FROM NOW TILL END OF EOYs OKAY? :]

Ciaooooooos!

tired. of life maybe. perhaps. whatev.

Rargh. So tired now.. blah.

I have a feeling tomorrow I won't go to school. Cos I'm sick today. Heh.

But then, on the other hand, no one would care la. Don't go then don't go lor.

Already 1.13AM and I'm not asleep. My eyes are almost closing shut tho. Really tired.

I don't know how many times I cried today. When I got home Wanky smsed me saying today in school I had a ) : face the whole day. Go tuition Celine asked me to cheer up at least 3times. I've had at least 5 people asking me to cheer up throughout the whole day.

Come home, Rachel ask me why I'm sounding emo on my blog. Like, 4 people already asked me that? Hur.

I'm really tired of everything. Just before exams somemore.

Had really late dinner. At 11+? Almost didn't eat dinner even tho my stomach was starting to hurt. I really had no appetite. Had a long talk with my mom about stuff while she cooked for me Meegoreng. Been quite a while since I felt I could share everything with her.

She's right about whatever I talked to her about. Studies are important now for me and you, if I wanna go JC. If I really wanna take up design and stuff I could consider poly. But my ultimate aim has always been JC.

So maybe I should let us study first, talk later about this. Yup?

I just really wanna hug you and cry everything out.

Life sucks.
It STILL IS fucked up.

I feel really hurt. How could my good friend just ask like that after he knew what's going on? Yeahyeah? SUCKS LA.

Life's fucked up. )))))))))))) :
Seriously.

And when I say that, you know something's seriously going wrong with my life. I'm returning to emo stage again I guess. Sigh. I wanna/should go bang a wall and just die.

Ooooh. Life would be so much better like that. YOU won't have me in your life to bug you about this anymore, you would be much happier.


TODAY.

When I was almost reaching school, I suddenly remembered I didn't bring my blouse and tie to school cos I had PE so I was in PE attire. Luckily my dad sent me, so we just went back. But he wasn't happy.

Meant to reach school at about 7AM. End up cos of that I reached school at 7.13AM? Yeah.

Didn't have assembly, everyone had to go straight to class instead. So when I got to school I was wondering why it was so quiet. I saw that particular group (with him) sitting at the canteen still. Should I go pass (?) over? When talking to Sally, saw them getting ready to go to class. Either I didn't realise they walked past me, or they used the other staircase that couldn't be used.

Did duty with Syafiqah since I was IC and the other girl doing with Syafiqah didn't come. So I helped out at back gate.

Tomorrow the sec1s are gonna join the seniors for morning duty and everything. D: would be quite excited if not for the fact my attachment was AMEERUL. Hahah. I was like, "*saw the list* OMG AMEERUL?!?!?!" I screamed la. The rest were like "Omg Gwennnnn! Shhhhh not so loud! o.o"

Was hoping for Bryan. We communicate easier. Hahah easier to do duty? :/

So tomorrow recess duty I'd better hunt for Ameerul in the canteen. Hard to find him okay! New morning duty list out tomorrow D: sigh. No more doing duty on Fridays with Welly for late comers I guess. Sigh. No more scissors paper stone! So I guess on a whole I won? Cos I won him 4 weeks straight, he won me 2 or 3 times :D

Class was boring. Mr Gan was replaced by Mr Peter Leong for our Math lessons. A much better teacher I guess.

I think I'm the weakest in class for Math. Mr Leong was like, telling us that he hopes the weakest in class would be able to do well for EOYs. Then before he left the class he told me to work hard, and practice. I would be able to do much better. So I think it means I'm the weakest la..

During lunch David asked me a very.... uhm. Curious question. He was like, "eh Gwen, can I ask you something? But its like quite gross la." then I tell him ask lor. Then he said "when girls have menses does it hurt?" I was like shock la, but still had to answer him.

Then cos I was the only girl at the table at lunch with the sec2s and some sec1 guys, the sec2 guys kept asking me questions... about menstrual cycle and shit. wth? Haha. :/

Mrs Supra shouldn't start teaching CHAPTER 6 so early la. Geez...

During study session the guys were playing monkey or something. Kept throwing this ball around the I&E Studio. Hurhur. Did finish my Chinese si han with a lot of difficulty for the paragraphs cos no reference to any newspaper article or such. Got a bit la, but it was of no help.

Got my new CCA card with Quin today. Haha. So we're both equal in the number of whatevers in our CCA card la :D haha.

Went to the bus stop with Edward.


Felt empty.. really empty.

Like someone/thing's missing.



And I know who/what.

I'm hating Mondays already. Sigh.

tired...

Tomorrow I don't wanna go to school.

I really don't.. have to face 2 people there during study session for sailing. And then, I'll die.

I'M REALLY CONFUSED NOW.

Someone save me. I really don't know what to do now. Rarghhhhh.

Anyway.

Today I almost died during dance. Maqrius took a gun and shot me D: haha joking. We kept practising krumping and kept doing exercises on krumping.. and cos I put in a lot of effort I got tired out super easily. Haha.

I should try doing half an hour of krumping like what Maqrius says he does with his dancing friends :D hahaha.

After dance went to get something to eat and drink with Pam while her sis and mom went to Pharmacy. Then we walked around and went for dinner at Paragon. At this Indonesian restaurant. The food wasn't exactly nice... D:

We're having a one month break from dance, and after that we'll have to come for the next dance session WITH A GUY partner for COUPLE DANCE wth. Maqrius won't lemme bring a zha bor kia dressed as a ta bor kia la! D: hahah. Then he wants us to come dressed in hiphop fashion. Like, really hiphop.

I knew I should have gotten that cap and jacket today la! Then can wear it to dance. Lol.

I want that baggy pants that Hyoyeon and Minyoung had like years ago la :D hahaha. I like it a lot la. In the Little Winners vid on Youtube they were wearing it haha.

High School Musical 2 wasn't exactly.. up to standard I guess. Expected it to be nicer. D: haha. Maybe cos I came home late and didn't watch from the start.

I still can't believe a nude picture of Vanessa Anne Hudgens is going around the internet. In High School Musical 3 she's not gonna be acting as Gabriella anymore D: HSM will never be the same again! ) :


I love you.

4.21AM. gwen's still awake..

Oh gross.

I just had an early-morning 'meal' and lets say its gross. Okay now I know, never eat Tako Pachi when its cold D: eeeeeew!!! Ughhh, bleh!

4.16AM.

I think I don't need to sleep la. Haha. Like last time, stayed up till 7.20AM. Almost didn't wanna sleep. Then there was nothing for me to do on the com so I decided to turn it off and lie down on my bed.. and I slept. LOL.

I feel like watching football with my dad outside. He's like half dead la. Dunno today is what versus what. I feel like watching.

But now I'M half dead. I'm sleepy already. Gahhhh.

Been listening to My Chemical Romance's songs since earlier in the morning. If my dad actually managed to hear out the lyrics he'd think I was turning emo listening to their songs with all the "mama, we're all gonna die. mama we all go to hell" Whooo. Feels good to be emuuuu ;]

Just popped by Cheeteng's blog and realised his jersey's number is 8. EEYER. COPY ME! Hahah. You'd better say you like the number and that it rocks, cos its MYYY number! :D


My feelings have never changed.

3.50AM. anyone awake?

Just realised tomorrow morning I don't have tuition :D

Remembered it was changed to.. uhh. Monday. ) :

Sigh. Alrights. Look at the time, its like 3.45AM now la. Stayed up to do the English Public Speaking powerpoint for my group. Being group leader is hard la.. sigh. And I really need the script! I doubt Daoying brought home her booklet tho. D:

So I've gotta start from scratch.

AND I've only got teenage fashion trends to talk about. Great. Where's our script again? I know at least someone has one copy right? Please say yes.

Played a bit of Audi just now. Rargh to you Beatup pros. I still love beat up anyway. :]

5more days. I guess.

I'm having gastric now zomg. Rahhhh. My stomach hurts la. But I ate dinner okay. So I also dunno la. My stomach's weird. I'm having blocked nose too D: haiyo!

Edited two pics just now. One of me and Drey <3 and another of the sailing team after interschools at the beach. I just got really bored. Hahah.

I'm sleepy... ahhh.

I STILL HAVE TACKO PATCHI FROM THIS AFTERNOON IN MY BAG.
omg.

I just read like half of my previous blog post and I couldn't stand my own typing already. Okay.

So I highly recommend that you people don't read it. So un-Gwen like la. Haha. I'm really bored now. Maybe thats why I had the sudden urge to type like that.

And yes Aaron, I'll stop emo-ing. Seriously, I was trying to catch some Zzzs after CIP, not emo-ing. At the MRT station I was just, well, quiet. NOT EMOING. I think. Sigh..

Oh, btw, photos from today.

3/5 of the ice cream gang!

Woman. You just HAD to realise I was taking a photo of you huh. Haha. Stop staring at me to make me laugh!

Yep. Pretty nice racket huh? I wanted to keep it la but my parents won't let me D:

Oh yeah. Here's a pic of the 'lil girl who could play Drummania quite well which I took after watching RatatouilleBe impressed all ya people out there.

Miss you like shitloads.

un-Gwen-like typing ahead! hahah-

Uhh. At times like this I suddenly feel like typing in an un-Gwennish manner. Could I? Please?

So erm, don't mind while I suddenly do what I suddenly felt like doing. If I don't type here in the manner I feel like typing in, I'll type like that all over my smses. D: totally unsightly.

Okay, HERE GOES.
maybe I'll translate for you if all you pro-English peeps can't understand. LOL.

Nah, just joking, it won't be that bad ;]

HERE GOES. Don't regret that you're continuing reading this. Cos I won't sound like me =.=''

Anyways. For the last time, HERE GOES! Lol.

today went for CIP at Kallang again. nd uhh, today's session was damn boring lah.. cuz we did housekeeping.

me and Quinneh darling swept the floor. so damn dirty luhs! D:

aaron and ryan alrd finished up their cleaning of chairs and tables long ago lerh... then when i asked them to help they dowan to lah! D: hahah. wapiangs lorhs. hahaha. i was like, "friend lei!! D:" then they said "ya la, friend make us wipe chairs and tables lahs, so we finish liao can slack lor, FRIEND. :D"

i was like wth..

then they just watched us do our duty for like, another half an hour? we sweep floor until so long luhs... and they dont bother helping us. D: me and Quin quickly finished up the sweeping and chionged into to room and slacked. :D

NIC! how come my phone can't change the look of the menu to be like yours? D: mine's still the old menu look la. yours is change the theme then menu change to look so nice le.. D: I HATE MY PHONE. its the same as yours somemore can.

after we slacked for a long time le, nic came back. he said they on powerboat super slack luhs! hahah. then a longgggg time later linjie came back inside also. hurhurs.

the rest got their nyaa booklets signed. then when my attendance was ticked and all, uncle eugene told me i only been for 3 sessions, counting this one. i was like WHATTHEEEE? cannot be what! i know its more than that lor please.

i recounted, and ya, i've been for at least 4 sessions la. so i told uncle eugene, then he tell me to recall the date! i was like, ohkay, 2 times i came with aaron, 1 time with quin, 1 time with mscheng. CORRECT WHAT.

i cannot remember the date la.. then he said he just help me tick as the 14th of last month :D thankyous! :D

but that means i need one more session to finish my nyaa.. wapiang! i thought today was my last one la.. then end up need one last one?! wth. mrs sidhu will kill me D: howhow? ) :

supposed to hand in the nyaa booklet on MONDAY. this coming MONDAY. howhowhow???

ryan and aaron kept saying THAT. like, i show you some examples.

Me: eh, so where we going later?
Ryan: that place lor!
Me: what time we leaving?
Aaron: at that time lor.
Me: then we go bugis arcade ah? sian. now do what?
Ryan: do that thing lor. hahahhaha.
Me: OMG STOP THAT-ING ALREADY LA! >:( LOL.

ugh. after we all can leave le, they decided to play carrom. so since only need 4 people and there were 5 of us (linjie left le. LOL i just realised its 'L'³!) i decided to watch. i was sleepy anyway.

when i wanted to sleep, RYAN GO TAKE THE CARROM PIECE AND THROW AT ME! D: ryannnnn lim tak yong! >:[

they played like two rounds, quite long luhs, and they were super noisy. play until all e pieces can be seen flying out luhs. hahahs. end up i couldn't sleep cuz of their noise lahs, so i didn't. just close eyes.

finally decided to leave. went to bugis arcade. super cold luh, i wearing shorts and my black OP shirt. should wear jeans there next time las.

played ONE round of Drummania 10th Mix. sian, i dont like the preface of 10th mix. but then Drummania V2 got people play lerh. and there's this little girl she play quite pro. how little? her feet couldn't touch the base peddle. hahahas! just like the long-haired girl i saw at AMKhub's arcade la.. can play quite well. got the AMKhub girl's pic. cute! :D

ryan and aaron went to play Dota lah... hmphs! so me and quin waited.. and waiteddddd :/ damn long luhs! D: stand till leg pain lerhs. finally 1 hour passed and we decided to go home. like 4+ le. hahas. end up aaron decided to eat lunch at KFC instead of da-bao-ing. so we waited for him.

on the way back they kept that-ing again la. D: siannnnn. like shaddup already lahs! HAHA.

Aaron: then we'll go off at that time, drop at that stop, go on that train, stand at that place, and drop off at that stop. right?

we kept saying stuff along that line la. (opps. i said "that line". haha but not on purpose! just realised) haha. keep that-ing ;] quite fun actually. hahaha.

then took train to Bishan cuz dad's picking me up there to go fetch my bro from Thomson CC.

i wore my sailing camp tee over my OP shirt lol cos my sailing camp tee was much more baggy. so i practically wore two shirts for the half of the day after my dad picked me up la haha.

i saw the badminton racket that my bro spoilt. not his fault la i guess. cos its like, according to my dad the shuttle must have hit the right spot and the whole thing broke. cos got a "qiakkk" sound.. uhh? LOL. hahaha.

then my bro and his badminton friend kept taking the racket and smashing it against the wall thingy at the carpark lol. then i saw it and tried it too :D so fun!!! haha. you rarely get to do this to a almost or near 100bucks+ badminton racket la! :D haha.

went to long house to eat. wah bloody warm there. i wearing two shirts can! haha.

then.. came home. yup.


OKAY. I've finally typed un-Gwenny-like for one post LOL. Don't worry I'll try not to do it again luhs. If I do I'll give you a warning before-hand :D haha.

I realised near the end I started to type properly. Just no capital letters. HAHAH.

I think I'll go retype the post later or something. For uhm, those everything-needs-to-be-in-PERFECT-ENGLISH kinda people. Haha.

Okay,
Ciaoooooooooos!

Much loves.


I can't take my eyes off you, from the start, got my heart. Yeah you do, can't take my eyes off you.

Winners Dance Team

Aww man I love the Winners. I wanna learn the part to the song Slick Dogg - I Can Make You Dance.

One whole day never talk.. sigh. )))) : IMY.

I'm really still wondering la. I guess I'm really unlucky sometimes. Heh.

I totally didn't continue with my holiday assignments after finishing Chinese. I only did a bit on the powerpoint presentation for the Public Speaking Course for English.

And I've got no idea where to start from.

>DAOYING- please tell me whats on our script. I don't have it with me cos someone took my Public Speaking book (and my Chinese textbook... D:). So yeah. Hurry tell me so I have something else to do besides teenage fashion trends. 4 slides la wth.

I'm really sleepy now.

Practiced like shitloads today.. like, dance away the sadness and stuff? Hurhur.

Then I tied my hair in two ponytails (not those that tie high high one la) cos I was sweating like shit, and when my maid saw she was like "wah you tie liddat.. quite pretty leh!" then she and my mom kept looking at me during dinnertime. :/ ohkay..

My days are getting more and more boring. A 'lil lonely perhaps.


I miss you.

Still no mood.

560 posts already; heh.

Finally done up with the worksheet part of my Chinese holiday homework. And I found what to write for the gu3 dong3 thingy.

My mind keeps swaying away from homework when I was doing my homework la. ) :

Anyways, anyone has a sec2 2B Chinese textbook that can lend me till the end of year? I really need it la. Of course that's if you don't need it already. I don't know who took it from the table in my class.

I need to go Popular later to get all the Chinese word handbooks and stuffs. Someone remind me to get the Chinse dictionary on Monday.. since mine was, uhh, smashed by my uhm. Bag.

I can't do Geog holiday assignment either cos I left my textbook under my table I think. My bag only has my Science textbook.

Now left with English and Geog holiday assignments.. and I need to finish up the powerpoint slides for our English Public Speaking crap. Ugh.. and my group members are like, all scattered.

Sigh.

Life's screwed up now.

VERY screwed up. I can even say its fucked up. ))))) :

Yup..

So I told Bernice I didn't have the mood to go and watch movie. And she couldn't go to bunk or anything, so we didn't go out. She told me after exams.

Exams are in a few days/weeks. From one month to a few weeks, thats pretty fast. I'm still not prepared at all.

And now I've got no mood for anything, especially not studying.

Mom? Bring me to the beach. HDB flat areas are not good for screaming.

Can someone actually ignore someone forever?

I really hope not.

And yeah. This feeling of loneliness kinda sucks I guess. But I've got no choice. Sigh.


"Lord my soul cries out"
Suddenly the song From The Inside Out plays on my iTunes. Something hits me, but I'm not sure what.
"A thousand times I've failed. Still Your mercy remains and should I stumble again, I'm caught in Your grace." sigh.

Yesterday.. yesterday... yesterday.

I'd really rather not talk about it. I just wanna say I'm sorry.

I know no matter what I say or do now, its no use.. even so I keep telling myself not to give up. But I'm finding myself a pest and a despo now la. If I think of myself like that already, what will (?) think?

Why do girls get more hurt than guys? Guys seem to take everything so easily.

I wonder if what guys say are true. Do they actually mean it or are they just lies?

Anyways.

Went with Quin, Audrey, Cheeteng, Audrey's cousin and her friend to Escape Theme Park yesterday. Can't believe 3 of the rides were closed for maintanence.

One of them being Rainbow. Wth. Its been closed ever since like, forever. Ever since I came here a year ago.

I woke up at 6.30am today. For some unknown reason I just woke up.

Then I couldn't sleep again. Wth okay. I'm not meant to be like that. Once I wake up I just can't stop thinking. Okay wtf is wrong with me?!

Then my bro woke me up cos Bernice called.. I'm supposed to go watch with her No Reservations today. Sigh.

But I have no mood for anything le la. Thanks to yesterday. I can't believe just like that I ruined my chance.

Omgwthwtf. I'm really upset now.

I REALLY wanna go to the beach and scream la. Dreyyyyyy, lets go together since you said you wanted to go there too. But oh, you're sailing today anyways. Lucky you. You always were luckier than me anyway.

Ahhhhhh I wanna cry le la. Omg. My eyes are already puffy enough damnnit. ) :

If Quin's not going to watch the movie Imma call Bernice and tell her I don't wanna go.

Going to watch a movie when I've got no mood too would just make me waste my money. Sorry Bernice..

I just, don't have the mood for anything now.

still emu

I wanna go out.

I just wanna go to the beach and scream.. let everything out. I guess I didn't really let everything out till today.

Sigh.

So end up the movie is on Friday. What a pity. I was hoping to go out today with Bernbern and Jody, at least I won't be cooped up at home thinking so much.

Woke up at 8.30AM today. Wapiang, I keep dreaming about (?), and its not a sweet dream.. kept dreaming about, well, bad smses. When I wake up I can't go back to sleep cos I'm thinking a lot about (?). ):

I should just give it up.

I'm telling myself that, but will I? I really doubt my inner self's gonna let me do that. Haha.

Wapiang ei. I don't know how long it's been since I listened to this song. Its like damn sad la.. ):
Well, listening to it gave me an excuse to cry anyways.

You have no idea how I feel right now.


I wanna say it out to you but I don't wanna sound like some idiot tryna pour out everything.
Why am I talking to someone else when I could/should be talking to you? I miss you like shitloads..