D-d-don't Pretend

I don't know why I'm awake at 6.40am. I think How I Met Your Mother, Cougar Town and shoe-surfing on Ebay kept me up. OH GUESS WHAT SCRUBS IS SHOWING NOW OH DEAR STAR WORLD (and cable TV in general), WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT YOU??

Oh, if you're wondering what the above photos are for, it's just to compare them with my current below-shoulder-length hair. I really miss my dark, neater and way longer hair. My biggest regret thus far has to be highlighting my hair. As much as I like my highlights better now that they've toned down, I still hate how it spoiled my hair and how my hair doesn't have the natural wave. Damagedddd

I think I need a haircut soon but I'm wondering if I should just leave my hair to grow? It's so badly damaged though!

Suggestions?

And oh, I desperately need a new pair of kickz. Am thinking Nike/Supra/Adidas/Puma but I saw a pair of Nike Air Yeezy with pink and orange sock liners.. would've immediately asked Cheryl to bid on it for me on Ebay if it wasn't like 400USD which is CRAZY. But I really can't resist! I can't stop staring at it.

THEY ARE SO PRETTY AREN'T THEY

I'm actually considering spending half of what's in my bank now on this!

Will be spending the whole of tomorrow at *SCAPE with the dancers drilling for the competition. And oh spending 90bucks on my new Double D dance jeans at FEP too. I wouldn't mind cheap baggy Giordano (God I typed "Giordance" -- tells you how sane/awake my brain is) jeans though but the group's getting Double D. Been wanting a pair since Nez got hers though so oh well.

I'm not making any sense, am I???

No but seriously. I wanna win this, so let's do this. Fuyoh!

Timbre Old School

Smoked salmon pizza!

Yum tum tum I love ;)

Trying on Bev Yap's shades

Bev Goh's sexy face. HAHAHA

My virgin trip to Timbre Old School.

What a noob right? Yes I know. And someone tell me why my girls are so pretty haha jealoussss.

Anywho, new banner! Do y'all like it? Supposed to be temporary but oh well I think I like it!

Can't get enough of solar systems/stars. ;)

Time to get ready to meet Cia and Beanie for XLB buffet at NEX's Crystal Jade! Then hopefully I can go dance after but since they booked the buffet at 8pm I highly doubt I'll have enough time to go to *SCAPE but I miss my dancers! :'(

Been feeling a bit more insecure than usual about my weight.

I know it's stupid but sometimes comments get to ya, ya know??

Alicia's 18th

Met the girls to celebrate Cia's 18th birthday at Vivo!

It's been forever since I last saw them, and meeting AGEK again definitely felt good! As usual, spending time on Vivo's rooftop meant more chill-and-chat sessions, and this time they defo made me miss secondary school and the drama that came packaged with it.

I always took my time in secondary school for granted. I thought it was the best yet worst time of my life. I felt that studying was a hassle and that the work given was a form of torture.

I never thought that after graduating I'd think otherwise.

You haven't seen torture 'till you've seen the work from JC. You've never felt horrible until you've tried studying on your own, you'll never understand how studying's actually a luxury until you've started working.

I even took the bus fare for granted! I swear, the adult fare kills your wallet, bleeding it dry of cash. Then again, I never understood why poly students have to pay the adult fare (concession, I know. But still..) while JC students could take full advantage of the system by paying less than 60 cents for travel.

Oh well.

I would very much like to return back to being a secondary 1 kid again -- no worries, no burden.. nothing. Okay fine I know I was the class chairperson but still my burden wasn't considered a burden at all! I love 1Endeavour'06 like that.

Speaking of which, 1E'06 class chalet at Aloha Loyang at the end of the year, anyone?

It all started with "You Will Always be my Boo"

I wanna blog about Inez's birthday but at 4am I'm too lazy to upload all the photos so I'm just gonna blog about it later in the day when I'm chillin'.

Had a blazin' 39.5 degrees fever yesterday. Goodness, I've not gotten myself this sick for a long time and it sure felt horrible. I never wanna fall sick again really. I could only stay in bed the whole day and wake up in cold sweat thinking my temperature has gone down, only to take it again to realise that it went up instead.

Thanks to that I had to miss a wonderful night with Ker, Bev and Alex! :(:(:(

Anyways okay girlies correct me if I'm wrong with the title! For Suina and Channie though it started with boom-a-nigga. I'm not trying to be racist but those were what the lyrics sounded like in the song "Soul by the Pound" that Xuehui used for Hip Hop III and the whole HH3 class called it that.

Chan dedicated a blog post to us and I teared after reading it cuz it was so touching! So I decided to dedicate a post to them too. ;)

Joining O School for Hip Hop courses has been the best decision made in my life so far. Can't thank God enough for having met Inez, Chan, Kailing, Suina and Jolyn. Even though we've only known each other for a short period of time, spending almost everyday together -- not to mention hours every time we do -- has brought us like 10000000 times closer. These girls are amazing, really. And having them in my life.. made everything better. I love how Kailing's terribly protective of us, and everytime someone/something upsets either one of us she'll go full out to make sure that person/people/thing doesn't have a pleasant day.. or week. Heehee love her so much for that. Would defo do the same for her if someone dares make my dearest KL upset!! Am terribly blessed to have these girls by my side.

It's wonderful having people around you who share the same level of passion as you do for a certain hobby. This includes Tiffy and gang too. I really admire how they all got so close due to sharing a passion for dance because most of them met at work! Dance does wonders really.

Saw this on Chan's post:

"Like what Kl said, 'Although we are not the best, we do not have the cleanest moves, we are having fun. Thats the most important.' Never imagined how much joy dancing can bring, esp when you guys are ard."

Can't agree enough.

Thanks for being the sunshine in my life, and my motivation in dance. Thanks for being my family away from family, just like how *SCAPE has become my home away from home ;)

(This doesn't mean I've forgotten all my other friends and my colleagues. Love y'all too!)

Sigh I wish I could meet all of my friends for dinner like everyday. AGEK, Reunion Gang, sailors, 1Endeavourians, BFFs.... Sucks to be me.. busy busy bee. Which reminds me, lunch tomorrow at Seoul Garden with Bev and Alex! Can't wait cuz I miss these girls so much. I fell sick at the wrong time seriously.

If only Ker could join us tomorrow :( Nevermind I swear to make more time to meet her when she's back from her trip! AND CIA AND BEANIE TOO I MISS MY EILEENY BEANIE SO MUCH.

p.s. Elie's sleeping soundly at my place now and she keeps covering her face with the pillow HAHAH. See la Shirei why didn't you stay over too?? :(

p.p.s. The moment I updated my blog I went to Twitter and saw that Kailing just updated hers too and she also blogged about us due to Chan's post! TELEPATHY OR WHAT.

Exhausted much?

I don't know what I've just gotten myself into.

I feel as if my freedom just got taken away from me.. as if I weren't already busy enough. Already lost count of the number of friends I had to turn down due to having work/dance commitments.

It really sucks when your friends can't understand when something's really important to you. Like as if you can't breathe without it can't sleep without it can't nothing without it.

Okay I'm just exaggerating. But you get my point.

But it also sucks when you have to disappoint a friend or two (in my case it's 'too many') just cuz of your passion because for me it works both ways -- if I don't work I can't dance. If I don't dance there won't be a need to work.

In addition to my crazy schedule I have yet another commitment! Hallelujah shall we praise how smart I am?? "Whoohoo Gwen, well done. What a smartass. You never fail to do things without thinking."

Yep.

Funny thing is, I got myself into this predicament. So technically I should stop complaining and suck it up, shouldn't I?

And thanks to that particular additional commitment, I feel this burden really. But I've not gone all out for it yet so I guess I'll have to see how it goes. Who knows, I might end up liking it and it may not be as strict as I thought it would be. After talking to Inez and KL about it on the way back from *SCAPE I ended up crying on the way home because it hit me that I'm never gonna have any time for myself.

"Because only dancers understand dancers." I never really got it when Inez told me this. We were talking about how dancers usually date dancers because no one else would ever understand why they literally dedicate themselves to dance.

I guess I do now. People think I'm crazy, slogging my life away working everyday when I can actually use the time to relax and play. I trudge to work in the morning, skip to dance in the early evening and trudge yet again back home at midnight. It's a grueling routine I do everyday.

My typical schedule goes like this: Work from 10am-3pm, have lunch and relax till 5, take a train down to Somerset for sess at *SCAPE, dance till 11pm and train back. I usually reach home at 12.30am or so.

But y'all don't understand the fact that dancing isn't cheap. Not if you want to better yourself. I've never been this passionate about something before. I've never had such a strong urge to support something I like doing..... okay pardon me I meant love. For anything and everything I've done, I stopped halfway.

Like the Chinese saying goes, "ban tu er fei". I never completed anything -- Wushu, volleyball, badminton, sailing.. Okay no sailing doesn't count cuz I still love it.

So it's a miracle for me to love something and still love it after like years of doing it really. That's prolly why my parents don't question me on dance since they complain I never finish anything I start.

I really hope y'all will understand it when I can't meet y'all or when I have to push back dates.

And honestly, I've not had a day to myself since like 3 months ago. I'm so so so so so so so terribly tired I can't describe it in words. I'm mentally awake and alert but physically I'm drained and worn out.

If I'm not working or dancing I'm out meeting friends who arranged dates with me. Well since I can't devote my work-days to them I have to devote my off-days instead.

Again, I got myself into this so I guess I can only suck it up and move on. I'm tolerating my horrible life for now just so that I can improve in dance.

Just hoping this isn't gonna eventually kill me and backfire.