Yup..

So I told Bernice I didn't have the mood to go and watch movie. And she couldn't go to bunk or anything, so we didn't go out. She told me after exams.

Exams are in a few days/weeks. From one month to a few weeks, thats pretty fast. I'm still not prepared at all.

And now I've got no mood for anything, especially not studying.

Mom? Bring me to the beach. HDB flat areas are not good for screaming.

Can someone actually ignore someone forever?

I really hope not.

And yeah. This feeling of loneliness kinda sucks I guess. But I've got no choice. Sigh.


"Lord my soul cries out"
Suddenly the song From The Inside Out plays on my iTunes. Something hits me, but I'm not sure what.
"A thousand times I've failed. Still Your mercy remains and should I stumble again, I'm caught in Your grace." sigh.

Yesterday.. yesterday... yesterday.

I'd really rather not talk about it. I just wanna say I'm sorry.

I know no matter what I say or do now, its no use.. even so I keep telling myself not to give up. But I'm finding myself a pest and a despo now la. If I think of myself like that already, what will (?) think?

Why do girls get more hurt than guys? Guys seem to take everything so easily.

I wonder if what guys say are true. Do they actually mean it or are they just lies?

Anyways.

Went with Quin, Audrey, Cheeteng, Audrey's cousin and her friend to Escape Theme Park yesterday. Can't believe 3 of the rides were closed for maintanence.

One of them being Rainbow. Wth. Its been closed ever since like, forever. Ever since I came here a year ago.

I woke up at 6.30am today. For some unknown reason I just woke up.

Then I couldn't sleep again. Wth okay. I'm not meant to be like that. Once I wake up I just can't stop thinking. Okay wtf is wrong with me?!

Then my bro woke me up cos Bernice called.. I'm supposed to go watch with her No Reservations today. Sigh.

But I have no mood for anything le la. Thanks to yesterday. I can't believe just like that I ruined my chance.

Omgwthwtf. I'm really upset now.

I REALLY wanna go to the beach and scream la. Dreyyyyyy, lets go together since you said you wanted to go there too. But oh, you're sailing today anyways. Lucky you. You always were luckier than me anyway.

Ahhhhhh I wanna cry le la. Omg. My eyes are already puffy enough damnnit. ) :

If Quin's not going to watch the movie Imma call Bernice and tell her I don't wanna go.

Going to watch a movie when I've got no mood too would just make me waste my money. Sorry Bernice..

I just, don't have the mood for anything now.

still emu

I wanna go out.

I just wanna go to the beach and scream.. let everything out. I guess I didn't really let everything out till today.

Sigh.

So end up the movie is on Friday. What a pity. I was hoping to go out today with Bernbern and Jody, at least I won't be cooped up at home thinking so much.

Woke up at 8.30AM today. Wapiang, I keep dreaming about (?), and its not a sweet dream.. kept dreaming about, well, bad smses. When I wake up I can't go back to sleep cos I'm thinking a lot about (?). ):

I should just give it up.

I'm telling myself that, but will I? I really doubt my inner self's gonna let me do that. Haha.

Wapiang ei. I don't know how long it's been since I listened to this song. Its like damn sad la.. ):
Well, listening to it gave me an excuse to cry anyways.

You have no idea how I feel right now.


I wanna say it out to you but I don't wanna sound like some idiot tryna pour out everything.
Why am I talking to someone else when I could/should be talking to you? I miss you like shitloads..

Rat-a-too-ee

Uhh. Went to watch Ratatouille with my mom, dad and bro.

It was.. okay la. Not really what I expected cos I thought it'd be funnier. :D but it was still quite good la. With all the funny scenes.

RUSH HOUR 3's STILL BETTER :D maybe cos you were there.

Went to play one round of Drummania at the arcade there. The pads are not as sensitive as the ones at Jub's arcade la D: kept missing cos I didnt hit properly and stuff.

My mom almost made us take Neoprints when we were leaving the arcade. I was like "oh no mommy oh no you dont" cos I find it weird. Its just weird. I didn't tell her that la. My dad was like "Aiyoh its already 10pm la and you haven't eaten. Go home la..." haha.

I find I'm linking everything to (?). I dont know why. I just seem to be.

I read some articles in the Dear Kelly section in Teenage. Woah, speak of coincidence much.. so alike. Seems just like me, what I feel, and whats happening. All too much alike.

I'm really tired out from all this. I don't know what I can do already.

I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. Suddenly. Maybe cos of (?), and cos I don't know how to tell Bernbern they all I don't wanna rewatch Ratatouille.


I know your mind is set. I'm still trying my best to turn this around. There's nothing else on my mind now but that, again, nothing matters more. (this stubborn girl refuses to let go. Nah-uh.)
Not talking to you just killed me.
You'd still and forever be my love.

Gwen. Stop being that selfish bitch you always knew you were. Make up your mind already.

hi, hi and hi again.

Peckkhee and Drey ♥

Sigh, might be meeting Audrey at Jubilee's arcade later with Cheeteng. Can't wait to go there and play Bishi Bashi with her la haha. Time for me to go crazy. :]

I was suddenly thinking of starting to plan for the 1Endeavour'06 class gathering. I really need help la xD Jiaqi and Jody you've already volunteered! :D

Holidays are suddenly feeling like shit. Nothing to do.

I'm not keen on watching Ratatouille with my parents later. Sigh. I don't like watching movies with them la.. its like ugh, not that I hate them la. But so far since pri5 I've only watched one movie with them. And I feel really weird.

I finally copied down the new timetable.

On Monday, Science is after PE. Wth. Not Math anymore. Haha I bet the rest are like "wth cannot slack after PE." yeah.

And Literature is after recess on Tuesdays! YESSSS. Ilovelit. lovelit. lovelit. Whoooo.

Shit. I'm going too hyper for my own good.

I feel like banging my head on my table. Its so tempting.. Or can go drink another can of drink and then try cutting my tongue again o.o

People get emu then slit wrist.
I get emu I, uhh, cut tongue.

Okay kidding. Yesterday's cut that bled like shit still hasn't healed yet and it hurts when I have to drink the stupid cough medicine la. It stings the wound. My cough's been getting worse ):

And chocolate just cut my gums. Yep.

Still have to work on Cedric's blogskin. Lol, dude you're younger than me by 8325y7983275months! :D okay actually 7 months.

I wanna go arcade. Spend my whole 20bucks there. Or even better, GO TO WHEELOCK PLACE AND GET MY CRUMPLER. I'm tired of using my Converse bag everytime D:

I sound like some spoilt brat. Gawddddd.

I'm still emu(emo)-ing. Heh.


OHMYGOD-

CONGRATS DREY FOR MAKING IT INTO NAT SQUAD! :D ♥
You finally got what you worked hard for :D

LOVES!

No mood.

I'm still moody, still coughing.

Surprisingly I replied some tags today. Which I've not replied in a gazillion years.

I'm still in no mood to blog. I've nothing to blog about anyway.

I just wish life would stop fucking up on me all the time. ):
I really wish that it would just stop.

Sigh.

I feel I really need you here. Nothing matters more.

I'll just stone for now.

Goodbye? Or not.


I wish I could just keep wishing. Blahhhh. Whatever I say won't mean a thing now anyways. Sigh.

Happy birthday Quinneh!

): I'm really upset now. I don't think I'll be able to sleep much tonight even tho I'm really tired now.

Btw, happy birthday Quin! <3

Happy 14th, old woman! :]
Sorry the blog wish came 1hr 28mins late. According to my clocks.

I wish I could just sleep and wake up tomorrow knowing all this is just another bad dream, another nightmare. Wake up to a new morning and a new day. Then everything bad today would be gone tomorrow. Tomorrow's just another day I'll look forward to.

I wish everything bad that happened today didn't happen.

I should just stop wishing. I don't have some genie or a shooting star to wish upon. Sigh D:


I'm missing you more and more. ):

teenagers scare the living shit out of me.

Still coughing.

Bleah. I think I'm dying from cough. LOL. If that was even possible.

I think I'm getting really lame. Talking to Quin and I was going crazy. Haha. Maybe cos its her birthday in 3hrs (so she displays for the whole wide world to see on her msn nick) and I've decided to go crazy with her.

In 3hrs time, I shall come back, THEN wish her happy birthday with all my fanciful wishes everyone gets when it's their birthday. =.=''

I'm so stupid. Went to use the sharp part of the canned drink to cut my tongue this afternoon while watching Pop Inc, on purpose, not accidentally. I was thinking it cannot cut la. Then I was like why got some werid taste.. then I went to the mirror and saw a lot of blood coming out from the tip of my tongue. And now my gums bled a little. I think I accidentally scratched it or something..? o.0

Sian. This Sunday I don't have Math tuition. Okay thats good la. But Mr Phua made the make up session on Monday night. Wapiang, 7-9. I think I'll just go Mac to study till then :] okay thats crazaye.

VALIE. You got the song Distance -M-Flo Remix- stuck in my head. I'm starting to think Hikaru Utada's an awesome singer :D and its your fault Valie! LOL.

Been looking up on Takuya Kimura. That guy from Engine? I can still remember some shows he starred in which I liked to watch. I went to look for some of the shows he acted in to watch. Like Hero.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Takuya_Kimura
faints.


Bloody DEVIANTART. Work already damnnit! I haven't submitted a single work to Deviantart today la. Cos I don't know why but the uploading thingy won't work. And everyone else can submit. Wth.

I miss sailing D:

I wanna sail. Goddamnnit. I'm rotting at my house. Need to go out. THURSDAY HURRY UP AND COME LA SO I CAN GO OUT. I think I'll just rewatch Ratatouille on Thursday with Bernbern and Jody they all after watching it tomorrow with my mom. But damn waste money la.

I really shouldn't have told my dad that this week I don't have school so don't have to take allowance. He was like "Wah so good ah no school no need take allowance? Okay la, see you so good, give you 20 bucks la... poor thing."

D: really shouldn't have said that.I almost didn't wanna take my allowance even o.o

Anyway he's still gotta buy me my Crumpler bag :] they don't have the design I want in the red and black stripes! ): I was hoping to get that one but they only got that one in blue, same as Cheeteng. And I think the blue not as nice.

Should I consider asking Nadya jie to get it for me from Australia or should I just stick to getting my orange and grey one?

Okay I dunno. But the orange and grey one like, getting quite common. There's a green and dark green version of that in Aust that I find nice :D price diff is 4bucks, SGD. Here its cheaper la wth.

RARGHHHHH.


Thanks Huiting for teaching me how to do this :D

Blogskinners just rock. And I miss them a hell lot la D: considering going back to blogskins. But I hardly make skins now.. go back also useless with all the newbies there. It just sucks there already.

Anyway Ebi they all also not so active there. I'll log back on to put back my Hiatus sign ^^

Oh. When's the convention for blogskinners that profire88's holding? EBI. Tell me already. I have a feeling I missed it. But ah, who cares. Too lazy go Ngee Ann Poly to hear their convention.

XPG better hold another skinner's outing. BEN! TREAT US AGAIN TO B&J's! :D


&I love you and miss you <3
But I don't feel like I'm treasured much, when all I'm feeling is the feeling of lonliness and being pangseh-ed.

hello world. and gwen.

Ohoh! Tomorrow is Quinneh's birthday :D

I SHALL STAY UP. If she decides to have that virtual celebration ^^

Happy be-earlied birthday woman! :] ♥ My Super Sweet Sixteen THE MOVIE is awesome.

"Totally aweeeesome dude!" o.o

Ally and AJ acted in it! And this woman who looks super familiar but I can't place where I've seen her on my corner of the TV. Heh. She was the party planner for Sarah, played by AJ. They made it look like an ACTUAL Sweet Sixteen episode. They didn't touch up the video to make it look all movie-likish. It just looked like reality TV :]

My bro left for his friend's house early in the morning. Okay, before 10.30am cos I woke up at 10.30 and he already left. So there's like no one to bug me all day! Till he gets home, that is.

I need to go get Quinneh's birthday present. Bahhhh. Maybe tomorrow when I watch

RAT-A-TOO-EE

with my parents and bro tomorrow. Tho I'd really rather watch it with Bernbern they all but bahhh. I better tell them la. D: I wanna go PCBunk again womans! :]

Final Distance

Final Distance
>Hikaru Utada

気になるのに聞けない
泳ぎ疲れて君まで無口になる

会いたいのに見えない波に押されて
また少し遠くなる

途切れないように　Keep it going baby
同じ気持ちじゃないなら　ｔell me
無理はしない主義でも
少しならしてみてもいいよ

I wanna be with you now
二人でdistance縮めて
今なら間に合うから
We can start over
ひとつにはなれない
I wanna be with you now
いつの日かdistanceも
抱きしめられるようになれるよ
We can start sooner
やっぱりI wanna be with you

一言でこんなにも傷つく君は
孤独を教えてくれる

守れないときkeep on trying, baby
約束どおりじゃないけどtrust me
無理はしない主義でも
君とならしてみてもいいよ

I wanna be with you now
二人でdistance見つめて
今なら間に合うから
We can start over
言葉で伝えたい
I wanna be with you now
そのうちにdistanceも
抱きしめられるようになれるよ
We should stay together
やっぱり I need to be with you

HAHAHA ROFL VIRUS

I don't know why but xie lao shi just suddenly talked to me on MSN. Then I realised its the dumbshit virus.

Hello NOOBSHIT virus!

I was like "Hahhahaa! Rofllmao!" cos its obvious its the noobcake virus (shit I've caught on to Ningxin's word o.o). So despo to get people to download the virus meh.. =.=''

Blah. I'm tired of all this nonsense of feeling pangsehed.

Can't wait to watch a movie with Bernbern and Jody and Quinneh <3 my loves! :D

I'm still coughing really badly. And I found out the cloth thingy that seperates this back compartment thingy from the main compartment is torn D: wtf. I've used this bag since like pri5/6 la. It can't tear now! D: Oh well. Time to go look at a Crumpler bag cos dad's finally letting me buy one :]

Ciaooooos! ;]

1week holiday - DAY ONE

Woke up with a super bad sorethroat and cough. Now I've still got the cough but not so much of the sorethroat.

I feel like meeting Pam and Wilson to go to AMK library to study ): I'm somewhat getting really distracted at home cos of the laptop.

I'm addicted to the songs Valie and Cedric intro-ed to me. "Until The Day I Die" by Story Of The Year, and "Distance [M-Flo remix]" by Hikaru Utada. Its super nice. You gotta listen to it.

Haven't eaten lunch yet and I'm hungry and not hungry. I'm missing sailing training more D: can't wait for the wakeboarding thingo though. I think its gonna be fun, so long as I don't embarass myself infront of the sec3 guys cos the session I'm going for has majority of the sec3 guys.

My back and waist area hurts. Must be from dance yesterday. Hmpf.. I can't even move around without feeling the pain.

My mom thinks me playing o2jam is a replacement for Drummania since its the same concept. Fat hope, NOTHING can beat the feeling of playing drummania! :D

Ugh, happy boring 1 week holidays.

Maqrius, I feel like killing you for making us get a guy to drag to dance class in 1mth+ time for COUPLE DANCE. Omg la. Can we like, just get one of our girlfriends to act like a boy?

Get some zhabor kia to pretend to be a guy also can what. Eeyer.

Haha nah joking. But I can't believe after the break we hafta drag a GUY to class. For couple dance. Zzz..

Math tuition seems to become more demoralising for me. I don't seem to understand a single shit taught in class. Mr Phua didn't allow us to use calculator for (half) an exam paper and I was so lost D:

Went AMKhub to get stuffs I've been really wanting to get since eons ago! :D

GOT THIS NICE 3QUARTER JEAN THINGOS with detachable suspender or whatever things. Its damn nice la. Didn't expect to get that cos I actually wanted this other 3quart jeans pants. But oh well, this seems just as nice :D

But I still didn't get that 77th Street heartshape necklace cos mom didn't allow me to, saying its not what I REALLY needed for now as its an accessory. D: bahhhh!

Oooh! I saw this Converse jacket from afar and it looked really nice and comfy. Like those ragged rough cloth material? Yeah. Its grey. Not sure if thats what it ACTUALLY looks like tho since I saw it from afar.

But if its what I think I saw Imma ask mom lemme buy :D I think she's actually considering getting me an Adidas jacket (!!!!!!!!!! :D:D:D) since the last time I got a jacket was when dad got me one from Genting when I was about pri 5/6? I didn't even chose it la. It was nice till this year. And its getting small ):

What I still need to get (that are actually within my means for now):
1. Slippers
2. Jacket
3. Necklace
4. Belt
5. Skinny jeans
6. Hairband
7. Nike waterbottle :]

AND MY CRUMPLER BAG. Dad's ACTUALLY pestering me to check the model and compare prices with the Crumpler bags sold in Australia. If its not too big a diff in price I can get my Crumpler from Singapore! :D

That's gonna be like, pretty soon.

As long as I can like, stop dragging how long I take to check the price diff.
CRUMPLER, YOU'RE MINE! Muahahahahahahaaaaa *evil laughter*

HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY!

MAYFLOWER:

The card we chionged early in the morning (like, I reached school at 6.30AM just for this card).

Happy teachers' day Mrs Supra!

Somewhat 2Integrity madness. They were having fun with Afiqah's "boobs". =.=''

Happy Teachers' Day Mrs Thomas! :D

AITONGSCHOOL:

Hello Mr Low I still can't believe you called me Geraldine and Genevieve.

We spotted this on one of the dustbin covers in the staffroom

Max and Lin lao shi. MAX I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE TALLER THAN ME.

Unglam shot of Lin lao shi. And Celine just totally ruined the photo :]

I SAW MY VERY VERY GOOD WUSHU FRIEND WHO GRADUATED LIKE, 1 OR 2 YEARS BEFORE ME.

He now damn shuai la. I can't believe I can't remember his name. We kept like looking at each other, as if trying to recall each other's names. But end up we couldn't D:

I remember the last time I spoke to him la. He was very nice to me, then one day during recess I cried as I was running down the staircase cos of something that happened in class. Then he asked me "wei! fa shen she me shi? wei shen me ni zai ku??!" (woi, what happened? Why are you crying??!) then I think I just ran past him without replying him cos I didn't wanna let him see me cry. I remember la. He was like *looks on* and he tried to chase after me for a while but I didn't care about him.

:S whoops.

Sounds like some classical story lol. But ya I think he graduated after that. ):

Both his elder sis and bro were helping our jiao lian train us in wushu. His sis was quite nice de lol.

After going back to ATS we decided to go to Icekimo! :D

Primary school hangouts never seem to change :]

The moment we stepped out of ATS and waited at the bus stop, its like a tiredness wave hit us. Suddenly Celine, Felicia, Shanai, Ethel and me felt super tired and we all had headaches. o.o and its the moment we stepped out of ATS la.

Weather too hot already..

Got to icekimo and everyone but Felicia were sharing triple scoops. Felicia piggy, you're the only one eating single scoop by yourself ;] I shared with Shanai.

The moment we got to the bus stop 52 came so Ethel, Feli, Yanwen and Jasmine left first. Left with me and Celine and Shanai. Then Celine took 165 I think. So left with me and Shanai. I could take loads of buses back la but I decided to take 162 with Shanai.

Then we waited for the freggin' bus for like 36mins la.

Got on the bus and both of us slept. Shanai woke me up when she was getting off then she smsed me throughout my bus ride.

When walking home I was super tired la. Haha. Got home, used the com and got ready to go for tuition D: 7pm to 9pm.

Wanted to buy food from Sumo House downstairs first before going upstairs but there were like, a lot of people inside so me and Celine dropped the idea.

When we saw that the receptionist wrote on the board in class "Mr Phua has teachers' day dinner. Do the exam paper and hang up to the receptionist. He will do another 2hr make up lesson thnx" something like that.

No kidding. It was "hang" up instead of "hand" up. LOL.

So we were like "walao! Waste our time.. shouldn't have came." then we just got our tables down and did our work. I kept smsing la, Celine did her work. JUNHAO CAME EARLIER THAN US! o.o shocking can. Haha.

Me and Celine were the last to leave la. LOL. We left at about 8.30pm, much earlier than 9pm. We WOULD have left at 9pm or later if Mr Phua did come. Haha. I refused to copy Joanne's worksheet la. Then I saw how much more work I had left and how many questions I didn't know how to do I copied some of her answers but when I went thru some I realised its wrong la.

She still tell Celine how to do the last question until like she so smart liddat.
End up also the last question she do ALL WRONG. Hurhur.

Please lor, I'm more of an angles person than you are.

Went arcade to meet Joanne and Meiyi and dunno who there. Meiyi and the other girl were just going home when I reached there.

Played a few rounds of drummania, as usual. Even tho there was a freaking lot of people there, I didn't have spectators today. Haha. Heng la. Everytime I know people are watching me play I'll start playing really badly ><

The cat! :D

Oh ya I saw a super cute kitten la. Damn nice to play with it :D SO CUTE CAN. It tried to unlock the glass door of a shop when the shop keeper locked it from the inside :D

I'm listening to the songs by Do As Infinity again.

Oh gawd, how long have I not listened to it already?