RealityWorks

End of Year One

2012-02-16T02:51:00.003+08:00

I'm finally free of school!

Submitted our last project of the school year with the rest of the class on Tuesday and had a major food feast thanks to Sam Nai (our video production module tutor) who bought us tons of food from the 1st Muslim stall in FC6, and Jessica, who bought us all cupcakes and this yummy soft chocolate cake.

Sadly, I can bake better chocolate cake.......

..FAKE.

But brownies, yes. My brownies are definitely better.

The next year - or a few months later, actually - marks the beginning of my stressful Media & Comm life, Ver. Year 2.0. Jeff Lightfoot's gonna be my junior in DMC! Can't wait to actually see what he's like in person.

(Let's just hope I pass my papers on the 22nd and 28th so that I can promote)

Waves16: Items

2012-02-10T09:24:00.002+08:00

The items of Waves16 that I was in! The opening, Val + Jan + Khai's, AnAn's and the finale (I messed up on the first day's finale though, sorry Johnny I didn't walk out on time!)

Damn, I've got mixed feelings now.

2012-02-08T11:05:00.001+08:00

gwendee on Instagram

2012-02-07T18:55:00.002+08:00

One of my favourite shots from Waves16 of one of the items I was in.

Really missed the whole Waves thing a few days back, but right now? Not so much.

Swarmed with project after project, studies.. my own emotions aren't in check right now either. I feel so lost, so scared, so alone. I want to cry every moment and my heart beats real fast whenever I think about it and no, I'm not PMS-ing.

I blame myself for being weak, for being defensive. For being competitive and for being protective of myself because I never want to feel like how I did back then.

I blame myself for having such shitty, unacceptable attitude.

Tell me how to feel okay, how to feel normal?

Because right now that's far from how I feel.

Post-#Waves16 Syndrome

2012-02-05T03:02:00.004+08:00

I can't believe Waves16 is finally over.

5-6 months of training.. all for the past 2 days. All worth it, really. So grateful to all the friends who came/bought tickets to come (but couldn't make it in the end). Got so many gifts from everyone at the end and it really made my day, can't help but to smile (okay no I actually want to cry tears of joy - AGAIN) when I think of everything and everyone that was there.

For all the people out there who still bother reading my blog.. embrace yourselves. There's gonna be a long-ass post coming up soon with loads of photos from Waves16.

You've been warned..........

Regrets

2012-02-01T13:31:00.003+08:00

Was browsing through a few pictures in my Mac and stumbled across this.

Ugh regret not getting it. Was so prepared to spend................. (I forgot the amount but it wasn't cheap and shipping fees were yet to be included) on it. It was the only cardigan I ever looked at and all I thought was "This is love".

Anarchy Street please please PLEASE bring this back.

Pretty please? With a cherry on top?

And this clutch from Charles & Keith!

$67 at the outlet located at Clementi Mall. Wanted it so badly that it showed I guess so my mom was all "Okay get your cousin's discount card and I'll give it to you as a gift." Up till now I've not gotten the card, hope they still carry it!

Interior Inspirations

2012-01-29T18:18:00.003+08:00

Just a short post. Found these two photos on Tumblr and absolutely fell in love with these interiors. The first one especially! Love the walls.

I actually have a folder titled "Interior Inspirations" in my Mac, if you've ever wondered. Always been into interior design, and wanted to take it in poly but my parents thought it wouldn't be practical so I do all these on my own.

On a side note I really, REALLY want a Céline bag!

Apart from the Alexander Wang, Proenza Schouler and Kate Spade bags, a Céline bag is now on my wishlist.

SDZ BBQ

2012-01-22T13:39:00.006+08:00

This was quite a while back but I thought I should post them up.

Heading over to my gran's place for our reunion dinner in a bit! Can't wait to catch up with my cousins over dinner meh heh heh. Facebook's filled with photos of reunion dinners.

How's your Chinese New Year's Eve going?

Results of Hard Work??

2012-01-20T02:24:00.004+08:00

If I have ever mentioned spending the night editing a video for my video production module's CA2 and having to attend school the next day with no sleep + with 3 hours of dance training following.. this is the video.

Enjoy this little ditty-that-isn't-a-ditty y'all.

Hello Stranger

2012-01-15T22:34:00.004+08:00

I feel like I don't know you anymore.

You're a complete stranger to me now, if you hadn't noticed. May have known you for a couple of months but we became close friends and I thought it was gonna stay that way. Guess I was wrong.

Somehow, slowly but surely.. every single thing you do is starting to irk me. Heh, who would've guessed? Maybe because I knew I tried to salvage this but you couldn't be bothered? I didn't want to give this up but you gladly did so? Maybe.. maybe.

If only you'd bother telling me, but nah you didn't. Like I said, you don't care.

I miss having you as a friend but now that things are like that.. I think we're better off like that?

....not like you care.

Blogger Template

2012-01-14T09:45:00.001+08:00

My blogger Template Designer won't load! Really frustrated cuz I reset the whole friggin' layout but now I'm not able to edit it cuz it won't load. Frustratingggg.

Anyone knows how to solve this issue?

Scared

2012-01-13T00:18:00.002+08:00

The need to lose more weight,

the need to be strong for others,

the fear of being alone,

the fear of more people leaving me,

the fear of disappointing,

the need to impress,

the fear of being a nuisance,

the fear of failing..

The fear of losing you.

I'm praying that you, you and you don't leave me. I'm scared. I've never felt this scared before.

What am I doing? I don't really know anymore. All I know is that I'm tired, exhausted beyond anything I've ever experienced.

I want to give up. On dance, on life, on myself. Walks home have been.. increasingly miserable.. ending with me crying on the way home. Waking up has become a chore for me because I don't want to leave the comfort of my home when I know I'll only feel more depressed when the day progresses. School has become another place I dread going to. I feel rejected, I feel like nothing I do is gonna make things right again.

Nothing will ever be okay.

To each its own.

I'm tired, I really am.

Doubtful

2012-01-10T03:49:00.004+08:00

Beginning to doubt myself and my ability to think. Is it weird that I suddenly feel very useless and weak? And that I'm not the person I thought I was?

I'm supposed to feel happy that the fruits of my labour are finally showing because I am getting better in what I do. But it makes me feel sick when I think of how people might start to see me as arrogant and obnoxious.

I will stay humble and rooted no matter what. Was brought up to be humble, and humble I shall remain.

I have all these weird thoughts flooding their way into my head now and it's not helping that I have some issues on hand that never solved themselves no matter how long I chucked them on the shelves. Starting to regret thinking that running away from it would eventually make it better.

I miss our friendship, but I miss you more.

That is all.

From ze iPhone

2012-01-08T05:11:00.005+08:00

A quick update! A few snaps taken recently from my iPhone.

Gotta be up at 11am for AnAn's item training at Scape later. It starts at 3pm but we decided to be hardworking (well okay I think some of us need to relearn the steps - there was so much crammed into our heads that day! 3 different songs, 3 different choreos, all in one day!) and thought we should meet at 1pm instead to practice together.

In an attempt to get some sleep, I decided to turn on 500 Days of Summer.

No, what d'you mean it contracts each other! I tend to fall asleep while watching movies/shows on my MacBook.. it's like a graphical lullaby?

Albeit I didn't fall asleep. But still.

How's your weekend going?

p.s. I've found two designer bags that I absolutely ADORE:

#1 - Any Pendleton bag

#2 - The Proenza Schouler PS1

D-d-dreeeeamin' of them tonight!

Keep Going

2012-01-07T02:16:00.003+08:00

Some of the crazy things we do after we're done with Waves16 item training!

I feel blessed to have such dance-mates.. they kinda make me feel motivated to do better and to push myself for Waves. Right now it's mind over body and full speed ahead as we're less than a month away from Waves16! SDZ's definitely feeling it!

PLEASE COME AND SUPPORT SP'S SDZ (Strictly Dance Zone) FOR OUR WAVES PRODUCTION! It's the 16th one this year and it's one you'll definitely not regret coming for. This year it'll be held on the 3rd and 4th of February, 7.30pm at SP's Convention Centre. Doors open at 7pm - free seating!

Tickets are going at $15 each! If you're reading this and coming down for SP's Open House tomorrow (Saturday), do pop by our SDZ booth if you'd like to see some crazy and fun cyphers and also to purchase a Waves16 ticket if you're interested in watching us!

We've made a bit of sales today so yup! Hope y'all support us, especially those in the dance scene :) It means a lot when all the different clubs support each other's productions!

To all my friends who've bought tickets so far (I have about 20+ friends coming down, be it from my primary/secondary school and my old dance mates): Thank you guys so much. I know I've said this tons of times and in my texts I've mentioned it at least once too, but it really means a lot that y'all actually make the effort to come and support me.

Dance is so important to me. It's the only thing that keeps me sane; the only thing that I've ever worked so hard for.

I'm known to be the type that quits things halfway but for dance.. I've never felt such a strong urge to excel in something so much. I'm proud of myself because usually when I encounter problems in my other passions I just give up but for dance I press on and I overcome this problem to come out a better dancer. Like now, for example. My knees hurt and I've never pushed them this hard before cuz in the past for any sport once I feel my old injury acting up I immediately stop but during dance training I tell myself, "No pain, no gain." and push my knees EVEN FURTHER.

I have absolutely no idea why the passion's so strong.. it just is.

Like what Carel said in my interview with her for my video production CA2:

"I just love it, I enjoy it. Even though I'm sick or tired, when it comes to dance.. there's nothing that stops me. Passion is passion."

To Cass, Joey, Shanai and Eileen C.

2012-01-03T01:11:00.004+08:00

(And also Rachey P. and Celine Xie. This will be a pretty lengthy post about my friends and dance stuff so yeah, feel free to read)

Good morning everyone!

This is coming a bit late, but Happy New Year y'all!

I can't believe it's already 2012, much less the fact that SDZ's Waves16 is in exactly a month's time! Amazing. It felt just like yesterday that we were planning out whose items to audition for and all.

I've been getting a lot of support from my secondary school friends. To those that are coming: thank you so much! Especially the reunion gang: Cass, Joey, Shanai and Eileen Chua. Everytime I tell them about Waves16, they always readily respond. Today Cass told me, "It'll be cool if we all go support you" and, "I can! I'll go!"

I can't put in words how touched I am by what they're doing for me.

I know I'm not exactly a good friend. Infact, starting this year, I can honestly say I'm prolly the worst girl friend, best friend, close friend..... ever. I'm HORRIBLE at juggling time and if you can't tell from secondary school, time management hasn't been something I was good at, EVER.

I've ditched them a lot of times (I lost count really) because of my dance trainings. It's always last minute that I back out because I tend to forget when I had what going on. Suddenly I'll realise it clashes and because dance is something important (I take my CCAs very seriously) I always end up ditching them.

And they're always so nice about it! You'd think that by now after knowing them since sec2 they'd be all frank and pissed about what I'm doing, but no. They always understand.

Can't tell y'all how guilty I've always felt towards them. I've always thought that if an outsider took one glance at our friendship, they would be able to tell that I've been taking them for granted. I mean hello, just because I have to stay back in school for projects + dance, they come all the way to CLEMENTI for me? Just for a short dinner! When Joey saw me coming from the MRT station she almost cried, and I think Cass almost did too.

Very thankful for them, and everytime I tend to blog about every other group of friends but them, and Joey once told me Cass felt quite affected by that.

I admit there were times I felt like the outsider of the group because there are 5 of us. Joey + Cass are the best friends and Shanai + Eileen are the best friends. So sometimes I subconsciously exclude myself but they never fail to try to make me feel included and they always remind me how dear I am to them through their actions.

Thank you girls for standing by me, always. Very, very touched by everything that y'all have done for me thus far.

Not forgetting my other friends of course! Thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU SO MUCH for wanting to come down to watch Waves16! As a dancer - and this being the first production I'm involved in - y'all have no idea how every "Okay I'll be there!" makes me feel like tearing. :')

Cel + Rae, my two oldest and dearest friends, you two have been so supportive of my dance life. I've ditched you two numerous times thanks to trainings and the fact that I'm always hanging around with my dancers because of the lack of time due to our trainings and all, but y'all always understood.

I still remember that time in July 2011. I had training with RSQ, and we were meant to have dinner at Timbre to celebrate both their 18th birthdays. I said I would be there by dinnertime after training, but I ended up getting there only at like 9-10pm? due to the fact that I couldn't get the choreo for our competition, so training dragged and dragged like crazy and I got tons of calls from both the girls. I felt so bad, but "sorry" is a word uttered too easily nowadays by anyone.

They came to my place for a sleepover after, and I could feel that something wasn't right. So when Rae went to shower I talked to Cel about it, and she told me how they felt about what I did. I was already feeling horrible, and when she told me that I started bawling. Like literally, I was sobbing SO HARD.

All I was muttering in-between sobs were, "I am going to lose all my friends because of dance. What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do???? I'm eventually going to lose everyone because of my love for dance, and I can't do anything about it."

Cel then sat beside me on the floor (I was sitting on my computer chair). She held my hand and hushed me, telling me over and over again that even if I lose all my friends, she and Rach would still be around, and that she understands my intentions.

She was the one who pointed out frankly that since my passion lies in dance, I would naturally prioritize dance above anything, everything, and anyone else.

But she said she understood. She understood perfectly.

That's one moment I'll never forget.

ABCD with a chance of pizza + 金枕头

2011-12-29T05:26:00.008+08:00

Celebrated Christmas again; this time with ABCD!

We were meant to cook but let's just say we all didn't do proper planning and it resulted in us ordering 4 extra-large pizzas and 2 金枕头's (Golden Pillow - it's super dope). Had a good time with them even though I would be quite bored if I were them. My house isn't exactly the kind of place you'd like to hold parties at because that's how boring it is here.

I actually laughed as I looked back at these photos, that's how awesome it was.. well to me at least.

Can't wait till Friday because I'm gonna be celebrating Christmas and New Year with SDZ at a BBQ. It's gonna be AWESOME.

Back to making my Christmas stuff!

(There's this horrifying pimple on my nose. I know, I know.)

How was your Christmas?

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-25T15:54:00.003+08:00

Merry Christmas y'all!

That's the second present I got for Christmas - from Cel! (The first was handmade cookies from Rina + Jacob, which were amazing) There was a bracelet and a hand-made book-box thing too but she said she accidentally screwed up mine so she'll give it to me another time and also cuz she mixed up my bracelet with hers.

It's okay Cel, it's the thought that counts!

Christmas to me this year.. wasn't as eventful as the rest. This year's Christmas will be spent with lesser presents and also lesser GIVING of presents because I am broke and also because I'm too lazy to really go out to shop for gifts. I didn't even receive any from my parents! But they've already given me enough this year, what with my MacBook and all for school, which is good enough in my opinion.

Seems like I'm not the only one who feels this way this year so... hurhurhur.

Once again, Merry Christmas :)

O School Recital 2011

2011-12-20T06:16:00.014+08:00

Photos from O School Recital 2011 quite a while back!

Damn I know I haven't been updating much but I've been a busy gurl......

..and also because I was stuck in the "Edit HTML" mode instead of "Compose" mode for quite a bit on Google Chrome.

Watched a few things that inspired me recently. First one being Freedom Writers and second one being Switched At Birth.

S@B inspired me to start picking up ASL, and I've learnt how to sign a few words from the show itself. It's an amazing show, y'all should go watch it. So far I've watched some YouTube videos on signing simple phrases and stuff.

I've always known that I wanted to eventually do something dance-related and kid-related when I'm older. For months now I've been holding off the idea of helping out at orphanages and all - not to sound like some samaritan-wannabe but I've always loved kids and wanted to do something more for them - due to my hectic schedule from both dance + schoolwork.

Still remembered how when we were brought to MINDS to do CIP back in secondary 3 as a class.. we had so much fun working with the kids there because they're really beautiful. I remembered this kid in particular who wore a pair of hearing aids if I'm not wrong and had someone by his side all the time. So cute.

Maybe I should just help with kids in the deaf community in future? I would LOVE doing that especially since I think people from the deaf community deserve so much more..

But for now I should just stick to figuring how to manage my time for Christmas.

Bootcamp..?

2011-12-09T02:23:00.004+08:00

It's 2:23am and I'm not asleep yet when I have to be in school for a lecture at 8:20am. I doubt we'll be having an actual lecture though since I heard the hour's gonna be spent doing our camp briefing and handing out of camp booklets.

Well okay I've slept enough from like 6-11pm so I'm guessing that's enough sleep for one day.

We're going for DMC bootcamp tomorrow! Kinda exciting cuz everyone in my group has been to CASS FOC (except Min). It's gonna be fun I hope cuz we're all pretty awesome campers.. ;)

I'm still up choreographing for the camp's talent show. Not sure if I should really be taking part because I'm getting jittery just thinking about it, but Ms Trudy was telling me I should since I came "highly recommended by Ms Pam". Hope to see Ms Pam - my PTN - around at camp. My class has missed seeing her around in school since she doesn't teach us any modules for this semester.

Oh the irony.

And did I mention? This is the first camp I've been to where I have to lug semi-formal clothes and my MacBook to the dairy farm. Awesome.. not.

I've been doing a lot of thinking.

You know that feeling where you really, really miss someone you were once close to? A really good friend?

I'm getting that feeling now. Really miss how we used to be.

Key phrase: Used to be.

Perfect Sweater Weather

2011-12-04T18:01:00.004+08:00

Came home a few hours ago from celebrating my gran's birthday and it started pouring cats and dogs. So here I am in my sweater again, with a can of cold Wang Zai Niu Nai in hand that my brother bought from the mama shop behind our block and it feels sooooooooo good.

Definitely $70 well spent on the Hard Rock Cafe hoodie.

Flower for you, m'dear?

2011-11-30T14:03:00.003+08:00

I've never felt this.. this lost before.

I guess I need time to figure out how I really feel about certain things, people and issues. I need to figure out what I want because I can't let this affect me emotionally anymore. I need to stop brooding on this, really.

School, on the other hand, has been pleasant and I just found out yesterday that my video production module CA3's to do a short film, which makes me even happier. A dream come true?

In the meantime

2011-11-23T23:53:00.002+08:00

Here's something to entertain you while I think of what to put in this ever-dying space.....

(Proceed with caution; this jingle has an addictive part to it)

Storyboarding

2011-11-13T16:33:00.006+08:00

My workspace's currently a huge mess.

Stayed up till about 7am to draw more of my storyboard, and I still am working on it now.

Pretty proud of my side view sketch of the girl and the video camera. Well of course I had to Google for images as reference cuz dude I can't draw for nuts, I HAVE to use something as reference before I sketch.

Was already terribly shagged from training in the afternoon and attending SYDC's (Soka Youth Dance Crew) ONE Production - which I will blog about soon - in the night, to running for the last bus to Yishun, to running for the last train to AMK.

Life is peachy.

On a random side note, goodbye to my awful blonde streaks!

'til tonight..

Awful chocolate is Awful

2011-11-11T12:40:00.006+08:00

..just kidding!

This is the best cake I've ever had I swear. Mainly cuz it's chocolate. What's better than chocolate, seriously?? Mom bought another one just cuz I whined that my younger brother finished like 3/4 of the free one Elie gave me.

It's under Shermin's command that I deleted the line "It's no wonder I'm so fat" and am currently replacing it with "It's no wonder I'm so cute"..

It's no wonder I'm so cute.

Be a-tweakin'

2011-11-07T12:03:00.004+08:00

Tweaking my blog around a lil'.

What do y'all think of the new banner and all? Still in progress of editing some things. Was thinking the banner was a tad bit odd. Oh now that I've mentioned odd, the link colour still looks odd in my opinion. Sigh I shall always remain The Perfectionist.

In the meantime, here's a video for you to enjoy.

This has to be my absolute favourite choreography right now, and it's by Apes! (April Rodriguez of Essence Ladies - which was founded??? by my inspiration Gigi Torres)

Watch in HD and get blown away by all the dancers from Japan and Poland!

Take note of Akane Miyoshi, the first girl on the left from the first half of the video. SHE'S A BEAST I TELL YOU, A BEAST!

Okay gotta go clean up mah crib right now cuz the ABCDEFG gang's coming over at 2! Can't wait. I hate not seeing them for like a day or two cuz we see each other EVERY SINGLE DAY regardless of whether there's training or not, and we're all so used to it so a day or two gone without seeing each other.. man it kills and makes me miss them so so so much.

Today's gonna be a mugging day which I doubt will be productive cuz with Bazinga, Jevin and Azrul around it's always full of nonsense. But hey who knows?

Can't tell y'all how thankful I am for the fact that they're in my life. The things and shit dancers go through together as, well, dancers.. there's this bond that others won't really get?

100% vetting for Waves 16 in 12 days! 12 frickin' days!!! Massive. Kinda excited but I have this feeling tears will be a-flowin'. Go #teamZulUnk and laoma's item (the items I'm in)! I know we'll do well. And to all the other items too, let's do this!

Well I'm definitely not forgetting all my BFFs and gals from primary-secondary school, duh. I owe them so much and without them my life would definitely be different. Heck, I would've grown up differently. The people in my life are all so real and so, so grounded.

Thankful for all the friends and family members in my life right now <3

School

2011-11-06T22:16:00.004+08:00

School has been pretty mundane.

It's probably because I'm really exhausted from dancing almost everyday (let's not forget I've been going for my Poly 50 training last week - reppin' CASS Club yo!), but I seem to dread school more and more.

Doesn't help that our Video Production module takes up the most credit this sem, what with us having 2 4-hour tutorials per week, which just tells us how important this module is. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE video production and all that and am considering venturing into this in future but our CA1 for this module is just killing me and I feel very lost.

Also, there's been a bit of drama around me recently so........ it kinda drains energy out of me I guess?

Thankful for mah gurls and ABCDEFG dancers ;)

Shall return to doing my VPDP CA1!

#killmenow

Hope y'all are having a splendid week! Happy holidays, especially to my dear muslim friends and relatives! (If y'all are wondering, I have muslim relatives but I'm NOT Malay)

And oh, happy belated birthday to my dearest Nadya jiejie who's currently in Australia (and has been for such a long period of time). Really miss her so. She's the one older cousin I really look up to. Hope I'll have time to visit her at Aust soon!

End of the Road

2011-11-03T01:14:00.004+08:00

Hi guys! I'm making an effort to update this space <:

So here I am at 1:48AM, wet towel around my neck, waiting for my hair to dry so that I can catch some of them Zzz's before class at 8.20am tomorrow morning.

School's been a chore. A VERY BIG chore. I can probably put the blame on the fact that the modules we're taking this semester are rather.. dry. OR I could put the blame on the fact I'm taking economics.. every econs lecture leaves me sitting there, clueless.

If it weren't for my dance life in SDZ I'd prolly be skipping classes a lot more.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm a delinquent, I'm just - very - worn out. Running on 4-6 hours of sleep a day is not exactly acceptable especially since what I'm doing is pushing my body to the limit every single day, what with school from morning to afternoon and dance from late afternoon to night, and the cycle repeats.

I feel like I'll collapse every time I close my eyes.

*crosses fingers and prays that the SDZ clubhouse is open tomorrow during her 2-hour break so that she can go there to get some sleep*

Let's not forget how the weather is nowadays.

The sky's always.......

..meh.

(Took these shots on Becca's birthday)

Apart from the lack of sleep/rest, the weather's definitely one of the main culprits as to why I'm feeling very horrible most of the time. My face looks horrible and everytime I see my dearest bro Cong he'll tell me, "Your face very shag sia today."

Life in SP isn't bad, it's just me.

AND I signed up to be a video editor and graphics designer for SPACE today, although I really wanted to be their radio deejay it would prolly take up more time and hi guys I'm not exactly the most-free person on Earth??

Alright I think I'll go to bed with wet hair again. I can't take how exhausted I am, and let's not forget the runners representing CASS Club for this year's Poly 50 are gonna try the full 50 rounds in school tomorrow during training, and Poly 50 training's from 5-8pm, ending just before #teamZulUnk's Waves training at 8-10pm tomorrow...

..Good luck to me.

p.s. I have no idea how I'm supposed to feel anymore. Enough is enough, Gwen.

Birthdays

2011-11-02T11:23:00.011+08:00

Celebrated Becca's birthday last week!

Shermin and I had to rush to get her a cake, initially wanted to get one from Polar but since our Gen Ed classroom was all the way at T8 and we just came from CASS block (in Singapore Poly our Polar Cafe is all the way at Hilltop Haven a.k.a. up the hill @ CASS) we were too lazy and tired to get our asses up there.. Sorry Becca!

Minz getting da cake ready

Then we forgot the most important thing when it comes to birthday cakes..

THE LIGHTER.

"Let's wait for someone with the smoker face to walk past! Then we ask okay?"

Poor Min and I were sitting outside FC5 waiting......

Waiting............

And waiting......................

So many guys with the typical smoker face walked past us but we didn't dare ask them. Boo.......

Thank God my dear bro Ben Bazinga was upstairs at the SDZ clubhouse, called him and asked him to come down and help us light the cake.

#shamelessShermin ;)

Birthday girl <3

With some of DMC01 <3

Hahaha Syark looks so pissed.

Or something.

Best thing evarrrr in FC3 (that we packed back to FC5 to eat due to the air-con): BAN MIAN. Yumzzzz

Celebrated Jacob's (Jacobeeeeee) birthday on the same day!

Started out super awkward cuz when we came out from our 'hiding spot' at the back of MPH, the boys came out singing happy birthday in a.. very non-comprehensible way. No one actually understood what they were saying cuz all they were like:

"BLAHBLSHIHBLAHBODJFBLAHBIRTHDAYYYY-"

And then everyone in MPH -- tired, worn out, shagged from training -- gave us this ._____. face until the boys started singing happy birthday properly.

We all laughed hard when we saw this photo!

Weird lighting + epic face + (possibly) lethargic face = Lao tikopeh photo

First ABCDEFG IDK WHAT TO NAME THIS GROUP/STOP CHANGING THE GRP NAME photo!

Love them all to bits. My poly and dance life would be so much more mundane without them. Really thankful that I have them in my life.

#epicAzrulface

#epicJacobface

And that was my October 24th (well duh apart from that I had to attend classes and dance training too).

Okay I don't know what else to type cuz #shamelessShermin's trolling on my screen right now and I'm having IPRA (Introduction to Public Relations and Advertising) class right now and it's pretty interesting so buaibuaixx.

Rise @ MBS

2011-11-01T00:19:00.003+08:00

So my relatives and I had a buffet lunch at Rise Restaurant located in Marina Bay Sands.

Heard from my mom later on that it was a birthday lunch to celebrate my grandaunt's birthday!

Can't tell you how terribly blessed I am to have such doting and understanding relatives and family members whom I treasure a lot, even if I don't show it much. My mom tells me stuff here and there (mainly things like my relatives asking about me, so on so forth) and it really warms my heart to know that no matter what, I'll have my family and their support.

Mom and pops.

(And loads of food infront of them)

The desert section!

Apparently I was so engrossed in the main dishes that I didn't bother taking photos of it. Only bothered to take photos of the desert heehee *glutton 4 lyfe*

So much I didn't try due to the fact that I was already full from eating all the meat, fish, etc. Looking back at this photo makes me think of what a pity it was because I absolutely LOVE anything chocolate and there were plenty of chocolatey stuff there.

Mmm chocolate fondue! I LOVE

What is a buffet without chocolate fondue? ;)

Glutton of a brother whose body doesn't show it.

When I took all these back, my mom was telling my grandaunt,

"Aiyoh look at her plate! Quite nice ah the way she puts everything but EVERYTHING IS CHOCOLATE. She LOVES chocolate."

A photo of the bro tucking in to the best desert (the one with the bright red raspberry on top). Would definitely go back to the restaurant just for this desert because that's how good it was!

Such a glutton for chocolate.

OM NOM NOM

Then it started pouring without warning!

Poor staff had to scramble to move tables and chairs away because the rainwater started coming in through this opening that was meant to make way for the structure of the building.

Crazy weather we got here.

She tried to catch the rainwater with her mouth as if they were snowflakes!

Was cute but I had to tell her not to do so cuz the rainwater's dirty hahaha.

Showing me her peacock and Chinese dance. Cutest thing she told me that made me wanna hug her and never let her go:

"Gwendolyn jiejie I wanna become a dancer when I grow up!"

After lunching at MBS we decided to head down to my relative's place at Ion Orchard.

Oh the envy. Really wish I could stay there too :(

Snapped this in the Orchard Residences carpark!

The cars are soooooooo pweety.

In the (very cold) lift.

View of the pool from their balcony!

My babygirls whom I dote on very much.

They were showing me how to play this Japanese toy. Really cute! It's like Cooking Mama but the less advanced, less high-tech version. The whole thing was in Japanese, but apparently they were smart enough to figure the game out.

You have to switch the things from time to time, depending on what you're cooking!

Bbg playing the harmonica. She learnt how to play a song on her own!

Was it happy birthday or something? I forgot. But yes she's so talented. Luv her to bits!

My couz Jonathan came into the room and was like, "Hahaha, this is the media-crazy generation."

Made In Candy!

Ending off with two very badly taken night shots so seeeeeeya!

In Love................

2011-10-27T00:25:00.006+08:00

...with Emilio Dosal!

It didn't occur to me when I titled this blog post that the song Emilio's dancing to in the video's a Moments In Love remix. So when I titled this post "In Love!" it wasn't meant to be a pun haha.

But yes I love him, possibly more than I do for Kenny Wormald heehee.

Okay it's 2:39AM now guys and I have to be in school for a ONE HOUR lecture from 1-2pm (#somebodyshootme) so see y'all around! Gonna upload the photos I took yesterday on Deepavali at Marina Bay Sands! Had an awesome buffet lunch there with my relatives and my baby cousins who-aren't-really-babies-anymore whom I love to bits.

p.s. I really miss that guy awwwwwwwww.

'Cause everybody dies but not everybody lives

2011-10-23T20:59:00.006+08:00

School has been such a bore for the past week!

Well okay hi guys incase you didn't know, school has officially reopened for me and I've begun a whole new semester at SP. Apparently my Video Prod & Digital Post module has 2 8-hour tutorials which means major credit units +++++++++.

My life's been terribly mundane, like I've been doing the same things over and over again. It's no wonder I have nothing to blog about! Lack of photos + contents makes Realityworks a VERY boring blog.

Plan J is a-go for tomorrow!

My good friend Rebecca Ten-ten has recently launched a collection at her blogshop Flashflust!

Go check it out, this collection's full of hand-made dream catcher accessories made by our dearest classmate Liyi. My favourite's Scarlet Swallows:

Real pretty ain't it? And it's RED. The best colour EVER.

Click the image below to start shoppinnnnnnnn'

MITC2

2011-10-11T05:17:00.008+08:00

So the other day, Jevin, Azrul, Yixiang and I went down to Toa Payoh to support some of our seniors who took part in MITC2 (Money In The Cap 2).

$15 well spent (for the ticket)!

Definitely an amazing experience as the competition was judged by Henry Link! Watching videos of him dancing on YouTube already made me brain-banged, but watching him LIVE and taking in his advice as he stood there talking to all the participants and audience of MITC2.. It. Was. Amazing.

I have no words to describe how I felt that day.

Well maybe except 'high', 'crazy' and 'awed'.

For any aggro-skaters out there who are wondering - MITC is a brand and the competition's organised by them, unlike the aggro-skate mini competitions like 'money in the hat' which is where y'all literally each put out a sum of money aside, skate your hearts out and winner takes all.

We were extremely early when we met (I was the earliest, and even though the rest were all late, latest being Azrul with a record of being an hour late. So late that Jev and YX already finished eating when he came!), so Az went to buy his food and we settled down at this fitness corner opposite the place where the competition was held.

Looks wrong on so many levels

Brought my pack of Cluedo Suspect along and taught Azrul and Yixiang how to play (since Jevin already learnt how to when he came over to my place with the other dancers to chill).

Love this game! Even better than Monopoly Deal I swear.

Y'all should all get a deck! Endless fun guaranteed!

Didn't change my camera settings so everything's blur.

But yeah those are my seniors taking part! We were waiting for the event to start.

Az, Jev and I got MITC shirts from the first MITC! Old design but still nice. We all bought L, me and Az got grey while Jev got green. Size fits them great, but me? Not so much.

I wore it to training today though and LOVED IT. Felt like some old school hip hop dancer! Super old school to wear a shirt that's halfway down your thighs to dance, I swear.

Lookie lookie guess who?

Hint: His name is spelt H-E-N-R-Y and his surname's 'Link'.

This was around 8pm+ during the 7 to smoke segment!

Super dope - and super long - 7 to smoke. We had Zaihar, Xuehui, Semmy Blank (JD'11 winner), Darren Toh, Rahim, Alif, Luqman (MITC 1 winner), Psyk.... - I'm missing names here guys - battling each other.

Can believe we sat throughout the whole event which lasted from around 3pm to 10pm!

Dopest evening of my life. Can't believe I got to be there.. my first official battle event (that I attended as audience. SDZ Jam doesn't count)! And it was MIND-BLOWING. Everyone there made me want to improve myself even more, and I definitely do feel the inspiration to do so.

Did I mention my senior Eda got to Top 4? She was reppin' SDZ HARD! I only uploaded the videos of her on Facebook though.

It's alright you'll see the videos of her battles on YouTube soon enough. Just check the MITC YouTube Channel for it!

p.s. Khaki Slim Fit Chinos.. to get or not to get?

Pain

2011-10-08T02:15:00.007+08:00

It seems like every week there's someone shouting at my block.

What I'm hearing now is prolly a dad scolding his kid cuz all I heard was "YOU (dare) RUN AWAY AGAIN?!"

Poor thing. It sounds pretty intense and for a dad to be this agitated at 4.32AM in the morning.. it's crazy.

Oh well, looking (and at the same time, not looking) forward to MITC2 - Money In The Cap 2 - tomorrow. Gotta get up early cuz I've to be down at Toa Payoh at like 12pm. Doors open at 2.30pm or so if I'm not wrong.

Found this on Tumblr:

I can't tell you how many times I thought "GPOY" when I saw this.

Chill Evenings

2011-10-05T03:13:00.002+08:00

The past few evenings have been pretty relaxing, what with me laying in bed for hours on end without getting up unless for water or food.. all until 4-5 in the morning.

Today I'm just lying here catching up on Karen Cheng's blog while listening to my iTunes playlist titled 'Chill Pill' (ironically so), and texting Geisel about dance and school stuff because I'm wondering whether to pop by SP tomorrow to pass Sherilynn my running shoes.

Definitely not dancing tomorrow though, as I'm still pretty worn out by today which was a dance-after-dance day for me. Oh and did I mention? I finally went for Allegra's open class again after roughly a month of not being able to do so due to my SDZ commitment - I have Waves trainings on Tuesdays that start at 8pm. Hurrah!! Felt so blissful as I entered the studio and started stretching. I even told Jevin, Rina and Chan (in a rather dramatic way) that I "was home".

After an hour of sweating it out and regaining my whole muscle memory thing (I haven't pushed/forced myself to learn steps ever since I stopped taking open classes because in SDZ I'm pretty much pampered with the option of opening my mouth and asking the person who's teaching the choreography to go through it again), we went back up to join Nez and Muto for our sesh. This was followed by a mini waacking crash-course by Shina, who came up after her waacking class, and it was super fun.

I might even consider taking up waacking!

And oh, Bryan of O School's taking over Daniel after next Monday! He actually took Allegra's open class with us today and he was pretty funny, made me look forward to next week! For the next 3 weeks it'll be one waacking class, followed by one street jazz class - which Jevin and I are madly excited for - and lastly one class combining the two! All that and AnAn would prolly be back from her tour with WCO.

Life without my Facebook account has been surprisingly alright. My online life I mean. I just miss playing Tetris Battle in the wee hours of the morning because my nights are just boring like that.

Now I'm just contemplating whether I should get my ass off my bed to get something to much on even though it's almost 4am and a very bad time to eat anything.

I. Am. Starving....

..but also very lazy.

Cause Lovers dance when they're Feeling in Love

2011-10-03T04:08:00.006+08:00

Thanks to Sheri, this song has been on repeat on my iTunes for the past few days. Something about this song makes me think.. a lot.

Temporarily deactivated my Facebook account yesterday. Personal reasons, and as much as I would like to disconnect myself from my social world for a while, I can't do so. Not now. Even deactivating my Facebook account now would cause me problems and inconvenience cuz A LOT of things related to my everyday life (meaning dance) are on there.

Stuff like my Waves items Facebook Groups. Gotta get updates from others in the same items as me I guess.

I wanted to take a break from dance, a week actually. Then found out it was impossible to due to responsibility issues. Unkle once mentioned that we have to think of the other dancers in the item, and skipping Waves trainings wouldn't benefit me in any way. So... according to Pika, "Looks like someone's break is gone." or something along the line.

The past few days were lovely though.

Caught up with two friends I really missed a lot over a well-deserved sleepover before rushing down to training the next day. Hi Rei and Elie, if you ever read this (and I KNOW Elie does).

The items that I'm in for Waves 16 seem to be getting clearer and clearer with each training. I'm in Khai + Val and Unkle + Zul's items which initially made me feel a bit stressed cuz they're all alumni. But their trainings so far have been very rewarding and I feel da hype for Waves 16 now! Can't wait to learn more and to improve.. vetting's soon! 65% for hip hop items and 70% for modern items was it?

Oh well time to head to bed. Got a lot on my mind still and I'm not sure how much quality sleep I'll get/have been getting.

Things are changing and as much as I want things to go back to the way they were before, I doubt things will be the same. I see you almost everyday and I can say I roughly understand you well enough. Something's amiss.

G'night!

p.s. My inspiration! Everyone, meet Overflow from Japan! One of the dopest crews out there. TOTAL SWAGFEST.

EXCITED

2011-09-27T04:02:00.000+08:00

#nowplaying

2011-09-26T02:09:00.007+08:00

Howwwwdy!

So Rach came over on Wednesday and I helped her shoot some outfit photos for her to submit somewhere. The theme was supposed to be sorta.. vintage-ish? The ones above were those I edited for her. She's so pretty (and not to mention smart too).. I'm jelly of my best friend! Hahaha.

Oh if I did mention SDZ Jam Vol.1 previously, here's a video of me + Zahran's (we make up B2B HAHA) audition clip!

We battled Elissa and Zin Win:

Pardon the bad tag at the start! I was so nervous I forgot the bboy half of our tag.
Take note of 0:35-0:36 cuz I tried to move into floorwork and almost fell!
.........embarrassing much.
Funny how not many people noticed that. And those who did said it was a dope save.
Me is beh-li beh-li happi.
But it was a really good experience! Can't wait for SDZ Jam Vol.2 next year. Hope I get a good partner heehee cuz for me, the partner you get really makes a difference. Zahran came up with our tags so yeah I hope next year I get a partner who can come up with tags too :P

Did I mention that during the actual SDZ Jam Vol.1, Geisel + Shadiq battled me + Zahran? Haha someone told me, "The best friends of SDZ battling each other! NAAAAISE."
Well that's true, Geisel and I are like the BFFs in SDZ, always sticking to each other. And I guess the same goes for Zahran and Shadiq? Or so I heard. HAHA.

And oh, came across this video today:

Someone tell me how the kids in this video are not adorable!? Look at them doing down-bounce! Adorable to the max! Kids that can lock are pretty dope. I've never really seen locker kids in Singapore yet but oh well.

Had an awesome day out with Swee and Elie. We went to eat sushi @ Sakae Sushi, J8's outlet. Walked around for a bit before heading to NEX because they wanted to eat the ice-cream at this New Zealand cafe thing?

We ended up doing a bit of shopping -- bought masks, face-stuff etc. and some thick shoelaces. Been dying to change mine to thick ones -- before heading there and the food was SO GOOD I swear!!!!!

Swee and I shared this prawn sandwich in chili crab sauce meal and it was yummy. Yum tum tum! And the ice-cream.. goodness no wonder they were spazzing about the place before we got there. We shared this chocolate brownie ice-cream and I loved it, duh!

So we have our 2nd-last House training with Daniel tomorrow! I've yet to think of a variation that has my flava, and he wants to see us do our variations one by one! Gonna freak tomorrow when it comes to me. House so far has been.. different. Different but fun. Daniel's a very inspirational teacher and whenever he demonstrates a bit for us he totally gets lost in his own world and you can really see how much he's enjoying himself!

Oh but I do miss An An. Hope she's having a good time rehearsing with the Japanese dancers for WCO's tour. I will one day be dope enough to do what she's doing now. Such an inspiration!

Can't wait to see the dancers tomorrow! Training starts at 6pm but we're gonna meet earlier for lunch and to session.

Oh I got this from a friend's Facebook status update! For any business student who needs a good laugh (because we all know marketing can get really dry sometimes):

What is marketing?

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: 'I am very rich. Marry me!' - That's 'Direct Marketing'
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: 'He's very rich. 'Marry him.' - That's 'Advertising'
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: 'Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me.' - That's 'Telemarketing'
You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say: 'By the way, I'm rich. Will you 'Marry Me?' - That's 'Public Relations'
You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says: 'You are very rich! Can you marry me?' - That's 'Brand Recognition'
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: 'I am very rich. Marry me!' She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - That's 'Customer Feedback '
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: 'I am very rich. Marry me!' And she introduces you to her husband. - That's 'Demand and supply gap'
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: 'I'm rich. Will you marry me?' and she goes with him - That's competition eating into your market share
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: 'I'm rich, Marry me!' your wife arrives. - That's restriction for entering new markets

Okay gonna go wash my face and use one of the masks now! My complexion's really bad at the moment so oh well. The weather's perfect to sleep in so I guess I'll be doing just that.

Bye!

Flashing at its Best

2011-09-22T02:28:00.002+08:00

Performed with the SDZ Go Green flashmobbers on Sunday at Zhenghua CC.

On. A. Sunday. Morning.

Actually, for our first performance together I thought it was pretty good and definitely a job well done. We didn't expect ourselves to be that neat and watching the video Shiying took for us using Jevin's DSLR shocked us but oh well! Really proud of us, especially since we're all juniors in SDZ. Go Flashers!

So on Sunday I had to get up really early to be at the CCK LRT platform by 10am. As usual, only got there around 10.10am or so? Need to start being on time. Either that or be earlier.

Once we got there we took the LRT to Segar!

First ever LRT ride! Well okay I think I took it once as a kid but I don't really remember if I did especially on the CCK side so I'm counting this as the first.

Walking to Zhenghua CC.

We decided to put on our jackets outside because we were all wearing our green shirts, so it was pretty obvious we were performers! (This was supposed to be a flashmob)

Kiat Seng the L4D2 Hunter-wannabe

"Veli hot..!"

Shiying's super cute here!

And God knows what Azrul's doing..

Azrul getting sabotaged by Ben

And he had to dance on stage with the emcee. HAHA

Her stomach fats are fake, btw. If you were there it would be pretty obvious.

The emcee had no shame though. She kept making people guess her weight and saying that she's heavy and all that. You don't do that to yourself??

But it was all good, she provided us with fun and laughter.

"Dope, dope!!!!"

The typical dancers' hand sign which is an indicator that something/someone is dope.

Other indicators include:

1) Throwing of shoes

2) Throwing of caps

Bboys doing their thang!

Jacob why are you the only one that's blurry?

MORTAL KOMBAT

Now it's fogged up..

..and suddenly it isn't!

This really amused Inez and I. We never knew that the LRT's windows could do that! Apparently Rach/Jasmine?? told us that it's because of the fact that the LRTs are located so near the HDB flats, and the government does this to protect the privacy of the people staying in those HDB blocks.

That's pretty cool.

Cute baby we saw on the LRT back to CCK!

Adorable thing kept smiling and making these faces. Major aw moment!

Time Crisis 4! I definitely prefer playing TC 2 and 3 but the arcade at Lot 1 doesn't have the older versions of Time Crisis :(

Jacob!

We proudly present..

The Adventures of TheMcDonaldsicecreamwaffleconeholderthatfellontheground!

Jacob trying to prove that TheMcDonaldswaffleconeholderthatfellontheground can stay on his nose-

KS and his foldable ears.

Been feeling pretty down lately. So many problems and worries on hand now but I'm thankful for those around me, especially the dancers. Love y'all very very much!

New short hair!

2011-09-13T15:47:00.003+08:00

Thanks to Janice from Toni&Guy for the haircut! Had my hair coloured by Jackie. Did this last week and am pretty much loving it right now, think I'm gonna keep it like that.

A video for you to enjoy! QWOP-inspired hahaha.

Teenage Kpop Dance Battle 2011 Finals

2011-09-13T03:39:00.005+08:00

Hey y'all!

So I took part in this year's Teenage Kpop Dance Battle with Rustique. Even though we didn't emerge in the Top 3 I didn't feel disappointed or anything cuz the process alone was really rewarding. Being in the Finals alone was pretty awesome itself!

Gonna post up the rest of the photos some other time. But for now here are some of the photos taken while announcing the winners:

Zack's face.. CLASSIC.

Your 2011 Teenage Kpop Dance Battle Winners: MORE THAN FIVE

T'was an amazing experience overall. Felt the SDZ pride thing going on due to that More Than 5 are all our alumnis. Watching them dance was truly inspiring.

Can't believe I complained so much and even thought of pulling out of this. Who knows how much I would've regretted doing so.

Well it's currently 4:38AM. I've to be up at 7.30AM to get ready to be in school by 9 cuz Rustique's gonna be performing at Changi Airport T3 this weekend and we have vetting to go through tomorrow. Just when I thought I could take a break from all the hardcore dancing.. sigh here comes another week of it.

Monday: Training

Tuesday: Airport perf vetting

Wednesday: Training

Thursday: Flashmob training + Waves item training

Friday: Flashmob training

Saturday: Airport performance

Sunday: Flashmob performance

Well done Gwen, well done.

Dancing so much actually makes me miss the sea.

I really miss my sailing days. Bonding with the sailors at the "Opposite Coffeeshop" after our trainings which ended late, camping out at sea waiting for first warning signals during regattas, the feeling of my byte hitting the waves when sailing during strong wind, my fear of going downwind due to the fact when I first started out in sailing I turtled on the downwind (strong wind) a lot of times...

..and then eventually overcoming that fear when I was in secondary 4 because I learnt how to pump (heehee I know it's illegal!) and to catch wind pockets. Even though it makes you go faster (which = more unstable), I felt more comfortable, surprisingly.

I really miss putting on my booties, UV suit, and my torn and tattered pair of track pants.

Then comes the part where I miss my secondary school days in MFSS.

I sometimes wonder why I never treasured my secondary school days more because those were honestly some of the best days of my life. I made the truest friends there and had the best and worst experiences. No wonder they say secondary school is prolly the most happening and life-changing part of most people's lives.

Life in poly's just.. different.

I have to say I'm extremely thankful that I'm in SDZ. Definitely the best CCA/club to be in IMO. Everyone's family there, and I've made a handful of decent friends there and I can't tell y'all how much I love them.

This passion for dance we have just drives us to work hard at dance together. Prolly why we bond even faster.

Waves training's officially starting this week for Zul + Unkle's item and I'm terribly excited for that! Can't wait to experience Waves for myself after seeing how Inez went through Waves15 last year. Watching it made me want to go to SP for SDZ and I hope Waves16 would inspire more kiddos to do that too!

Ah well. Off to bed I go! Early morning vetting tomorrow, here's hoping that I won't be late (which I prolly will be).

Goodnight y'all!

Unicornian

2011-08-27T04:21:00.004+08:00

GOOD EVENING GUYS!

Look at what I'm wearing to sleep again!

It's been a while since I last wore my PE shirts to sleep. Always felt that there was a need to "preserve" them cuz MFSS only sells those God-awful dry-fit ones now. These original PE shirts are like, considered rare.

God knows why I take so much pride in being in Unicorn house. I swear, it was fate that made me get into a house that was represented by the colour red.

Gonna go out with Geisel (and hopefully Sheri, Pika, Chan, Azrul.. IF they reply their texts) tomorrow to shop and chill! FOREVER21 ANYBODY?????????! Can't wait! Gotta love impromptu plans like that really ;) And hopefully lunch with the family before that because it's been weeks since I last sat down to have a proper meal with them and I gotta admit, I really miss them.

Today was a terribly exhausting day I suppose. Both mentally and physically.

Felt like I was battling some sort of mental war with my emotions. On one hand I was telling myself not to let criticism get to me and to let it manifest into something that's destroying me. On the other hand, I was telling myself how useless I am and how I can't do anything but dance.

I don't really feel motivated to dance anymore.

When was the last time I did something for myself? Since months ago maybe? That's why I can't wait for tomorrow's shopping + chilling trip with Sel. Gonna spend the weekend clearing my thoughts before coming back full-force on Monday to dance my best for/with Rustique. Walked out on them today because my emotions got the better of me, and I feel like I can't let them down anymore.

So yes, this weekend is THE GWEN WEEKEND.

Everything I do this weekend will be for ME. If I dance/shop/drink/chill/whatever, it's all for me, myself and I.

I need to get my old self back. Need to stop weeping over nothing and need to stop being such a pathetic crybaby. The Gwen everyone knows always picks herself up.

Always.

DMC/FT/1B/01

2011-08-26T04:52:00.005+08:00

Hi y'all! This is the DMC/FT/1A(soon to be 1B)/01 that I really miss!

I guess we started out really strong but along the way schoolwork and project work got to us, which really sucks. I miss the old and more fun class that made me look forward to lessons everyday.

Can't wait for our class chalet ;)

To digress, it just started to rain and when I was closing my room's windows I looked down to see a man running from my block to the block opposite (there's no shelter linking the two blocks). Then I realised it was my dad. The poor man goes to work at this time everyday. Sometimes I wished I was someone famous or something, then I could provide for my parents because I've only seen them slog their asses off at work since I was a kid. My brother and I were always left to the maids to tend to, which really sucks because I seldom got to see them.

Then now it's my turn -- they hardly get to see me because I spend everyday dancing and only coming home after 12am.

I really miss my family!

Oh well. Speaking of dance.. I don't feel motivated to dance. Not anymore.

I don't know why I'm allowing the stress from a frickin' KPOP competition get to me/affect my passion for dance so badly. I'm so passionate about hip hop! JAPANESE-STYLE hip hop, not LA hip hop.

But I'm tired. Tired of being the one dancer to get steps wrong, tired of being the only one in the crew to forget steps, tired of being the only one that can't catch steps/techniques as fast as the rest of the crew, tired of taking more time to process steps, tired of being the one with no control, tired of being the only one being put down by my fellow crew members for not dancing as well as the rest. I'm tired of not having the guts to express my unhappiness when something's not right, tired of being capable of only shedding tears because I don't have the balls to tell them straight in their faces that enough is enough. I'm tired of being such a fragile, sensitive bitch that can't take scoldings.

I want to do well in dance, I want to grow up to be a professional dancer like the dancers of O Crew who get to fly occasionally to other countries to share their love and passion for dance to fellow dancers in other countries. I aspire to be like WCO and BASE, I want to inspire people to dance like I did for my brother who picked up bboying because I encouraged him to.

I have so many dreams.

But being put down repeatedly.. ugh. I'm not one to give up especially when it comes to dance, so I hope this feeling goes away soon. Not looking forward to training tomorrow (or later, in this case) at 2pm later.

Oh well.

Good morn'!

2011-08-25T06:01:00.002+08:00

Bleurgh it's already 6 and I've yet to get some sleep! #benefitsofhavingholidays

So I caught the Arsenal vs. Udinese match earlier. Dad and I were excited that Arsenal won Udinese 2-1 and got in through to the Champion's League! Congratulations boys, it was a well-deserved win.

Really bummed out that Nasri has, well, officially left the club :(

When watching the match with Dad earlier (the biggest Arsenal fan I have ever met -- has been supporting Arsenal since he was in secondary 1), he suddenly mentioned:

"Samir Nasri left already you know right? He's a money-grabber, he! Go burn your jersey. Wait, can change name? You should buy a jersey with Ramsey's name. He looks more handsome than Nasri. Of all names you put Nasri.. That bugger left!"

I was all le egad! and le gasp! when he said that.

Broke my heart even further. :(

Oh well.

Glad to say my opinion of Justin Bieber has changed after I downloaded + watched half his movie! Well I couldn't sit still past an hour into the movie (I say 'half' because it got a bit too boring, shall continue tomorrow!) But it's inspiring how his determination and hard work led him places.

Hope to be like him in terms of dance! Never stop dreaming ;)

Speaking of dance, I miss this girl right here:

POONIE! My dearest hip hop budddd.

Keep muggin' kiddo, keep muggin'! Shall see you at *SCAPE tomorrow luv

Glad to say since my study break (it wasn't considered holidays till my last paper), I've been spending quality time with the dancers. Even before my study break started we already spent almost everyday together! Sherilynn, Rach, Sarah, Azrul, Bazinga, Inez, Muto, Calvin.. Love you guys :)

CAN'T WAIT TO EXPERIENCE WAVES16 WITH THEM!

Okay, same routine: A photo, an ending caption (sometimes), and a "bye" or "goodnight" when ending a blog post! Here we go..

(Photo)

GOODNIGHT!!

HOLIDAAAAAY

2011-08-24T05:13:00.004+08:00

Whoa how long has it been since I last touched this space??!

Okay apparently crazy-long. But hi guys, I'm baaaaaaaack!

So my life in a nutshell..

Auditions for Waves 16
KPop dance competition training
Hanging out with dancers
Studying
Studying with dancers
More studying
ESTs

Y'all had better come watch SDZ Waves 16 next year! Excited to get the results of the auditions and for training to start.

Since this holiday's gonna be a long one, I really hope that I'll be able to use this time to improve on dance. Can't wait to go back to O School for Allegra's classes.. I miss her classes so much!

Also hope to use this time to go out and take photographs + to lose weight! Ever since I started mugging for my paper (yes how lucky am I to have only one paper to take! Even the year 2 DMC students have to take what, 3 papers?) I've been gaining weight like nobody's business. My mom said so! And if your parents tell you that you've gained weight.. well, they're most prolly right on that.

Went to town with Becca + Shermin after our paper today and boy did it feel good to spend $80 on stuff @ Forever21!!! My bank account doesn't feel the same way though. Meh :( But I absolutely HAD to shop! I've not shopped for like what, months? I spend everyday at school, then going for dance almost immediately after. SP has become my second home :(

Okay it's apparently 5:28AM. Wanted to get up at 8AM for a jog before heading to school later in the afternoon for dance but OH WELL LOOK AT THE TIME.

Time for a round or two (or three or maybe even four) rounds of Tetris Battle on Facebook before I head to bed..

Okay bye!

We try and we try

2011-08-04T02:49:00.002+08:00

Just had the longest Skype chat with Azrul a.k.a. Zulzul and Calvin a.k.a. Pikachu. We were supposed to discuss some issue but we ended up talking about everything else BUT the issue.

I really miss chatting like that. Just talking random nonsense. How long has it been since I found time to even call someone to talk anymore? Well technically I'm not even a phone person so I guess it doesn't matter. But yeah SDZ Skype chats are really funnnnnnnnnn.

Had a "performance" for this NDP preview ceremony thing in SP with the SDZians today. Sin said he saw me and called me non-stop cuz but I couldn't hear me. He even mentioned that he should've videoed me doing our motivator thing so that he could upload it and humiliate me haha!

Quality bonding time with the SDZians over practising and mini cypher and sharing circles while waiting for rehearsals to start, even though Carel and I felt like shit because we were unwell throughout the whole thing. Fadz did an awesome job hosting <3 And the little kids from the Kinderland thing in SP were too cute. The girls from SDZ went nuts while they pranced around on stage with their little pompoms.

What I've done, yet to do, and have to do:

NDP preview-thingamajig (DONE)
Teenage Kpop semi-finals
SDZ Jam auditions
SP Go Green flashmob (organised by SDZ juniors)
POM CA2 presentation
DB CA2 + CA3
IMW CA3
Study for POM written test
Study for major ICP CA2 written test

4 more weeks till sem break, 1 week till study break. I'll have to tolerate ALL THESE for the next few weeks.

I'm having such a horrible migraine right now.. actually I have been for the whole day. It never went away. God knows why I'm still awake at this hour. I've got a terribly long day ahead!

#lifeasaDMCstudent

2011-08-03T00:15:00.006+08:00

Not much fun at the moment, apparently.

What with all the deadlines for multiple projects coming up soon, even a CA3 IMW project we just received news on today.. it's dead tiring. But I'll admit, from what I see, DMC seems to be the course that has the most fun so far. We rush projects like mad when we have to, but in class we do so much interactive work with our lecturers its fun. Like playing games, discussing current topics..

Juggling a CCA and studies in poly's much harder than it seems. Or maybe it's just because I'm really committed to SDZ. Thing is, it's not just me who feels this way so I'm thankful for the SDZians cuz we're there to push each other on.

NDP performance tomorrow, Go Green flashmob to plan for with the other juniors from different genres, SDZ Jam, Teenage Kpop semi-finals. Everything's rushing by so fast now it's blurry.

Above are photos of Rach and I camwhoring with Jacob's cap! I love his cap cuz it's red and spongey. Then he told me, "It's a sponge cap."

..Explains the spongey-ness.

We're all fat dancers. Or at least I am (the fat hip hop dancer), they aren't (they're the not-fat moderner and bboy).

Okay bye!

Busy Bee

2011-07-21T01:54:00.004+08:00

Been so busy lately I've not had much time for myself, much less my friends.

Would be lying if I said dance didn't occupy most of my time. What with the competition coming up this Saturday, having to plan the flashmob with 11 other SDZ juniors.. And studies.

I'm finding it hard to cope. Just a few weeks back, out of a 5-day school-week, I missed 4 days of school. I felt so bad, but I was so worn out I couldn't wake up on most days. I couldn't even fall asleep to begin with, no matter how tired I was.

Had to turn down so many outings. Felt horrid, but the thing's that I know this would prolly be my life for the next few years or so? I enjoy dancing everyday and would definitely dance even if I didn't have some competition or whatsoever going on.

Talked to Celine and Rach about it at our sleepover on Rach's birthday week. I went to Timbre really late cuz of our practice for the competition, and apparently they weren't happy about it, but didn't show it until they got to my place. My miserable cake from Starbucks couldn't even make up for it, in my opinion. Rach talked to me when we were at my place washing up, and when it was her turn to wash up (after Cel), I talked to Cel and cried really badly.

"I'm afraid dance will be my downfall. I'm gonna lose all my close friends cuz of this. But I don't know what to do because it's the one thing I REALLY love."

Thank God for her comforting hug that came after that sentence because I was just sitting there awkwardly bawling my eyes out. When she told me that she and Rach understood the situation I was in after I explained why I was so terribly late, and that I would definitely not lose the two of them because they understood and supported me all the way (knowing that this is my passion).. well, I'm just.. thankful.

Deep down I'm still trying to justify why dance is so important to me. It could be the fact that it's the only thing that seems to make my parents proud of me, and the fact that it's the only thing I started that I didn't stop at halfway.

Struggling hard to juggle studies and dance, and it's extremely tiring but I'm getting better at it. GRAAW's wake-up call made me realise I really had to wake up and try harder than I already am, and to make an effort.

And when Becca told me how concerned she was about me while we were getting nasi ayam penyet at FC6.. haha, I told her, "If we weren't in a public area now I'd be crying."

Becca, Wee, Rachael, Alvin, Shermin, Aki.. thanks for being there for me in school. Wouldn't know what to do without you guys.

The Big Groove 2011 PT2

2011-07-17T20:25:00.023+08:00

Will post up the photos I took before the break later! Took too many photos during TBG 2011.. cuz I really doubt y'all will wanna scroll through all of them in one post. ;)

The Big Groove 2011 was an awesome experience. It's my virgin TBG show (since I missed last year's -- which had Quest Crew, by the way -- for an outing that was cancelled) and I really enjoyed it. Catching it with the SDZians made it even better.

During the break..

Rachel and Sherilynn

Pretty Elissa!

Jevin was yawning HAHA

With Allegra! Didn't know my hair was so messed up ugh.

Love this girl! One of my craziest and loveliest friend in SDZ.

Abangggg

Yong Da going into full cameraman mode HAHA

Counting down to the end of the break!

Presenting the Hero Award.

Donkey faise

And the Hero Award goes to..

..the organiser of Dance For Japan, Ms Stephanie Phua!

And now, back to the show ;)

Big Toe Crew

My favourite photo of the day!

Big Buddy Boi (from Japan)

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE THEM

O Crew (from Singapore)!

Ending the show with a curtain call..

Jasmine, Shiying and Sherilynn

With Zaahid!

This wasn't a candid shot even. An An just was waving frantically and when she saw my DSLR there she just froze in her pose heehee.

Cute or what?

With my umma Jasmineeee!

Hogging the escalator SDZ STYLE

Quoway!

Hahaha Bazinga and I.

Zulzul-

Motivation Needed

2011-07-05T02:30:00.006+08:00

Was surprised when I saw this question from Cheryl from my Hip Hop 2 class:

"Hey gwen,I think you'll be the only person who can understand this. Have you ever felt like you're been putting in so much effort into trying to improve but your efforts are still not bearing fruits and you feel so frustrated and annoyed for being useless

but you still don’t wanna give up cuz you love dance and still wanna keep trying ? How did you manage to grow and accomplish so much ? :X PS : Had to reach you here cuz I’m not using fb or twitter anymore. -Cheryl, hh2. Hope you still rmb me !"

Out of all the time I've been using Formspring I've never once come across such a question that.. really hit me. I'll answer this soon on my Formspring (http://www.formspring.me/geewend) but yes I totally understand how you feel.

But just so you know, I've not accomplished much in dance. Not on my standards. I guess the standards I've set for myself are.. much higher than where I'm currently at. :)

That aside, I've been feeling really "blah" today. All I've been thinking about is how unmotivated I am for school, and how.. how much I wish I could just quit school and pursue dance because I dread school now. But like what Professor Cong said, "Without studying you have no money to pay for your classes. How?!"

Okay, so he's not a professor (though he calls himself one when giving me advice), he's one of the '93 dancers in SDZ. But his advice did make sense.

I feel that my heart's somewhere else. Not a good thing definitely but I'm guessing I've been so focused on dance nothing else really matters. If it weren't for the fact that I was in SDZ I prolly wouldn't even go to SP on a daily basis.

And yet that's exactly what I'm doing now -- skipping classes but going to school only for dance. I realise I've been doing this subconsciously; I don't skip classes on purpose but I always end up getting my butt out of the house and landing it in SP just for dance.

I'm suddenly very tired, exhausted; tired of being tired.

I feel so conflicted in my own head that I doubt it's where anyone would wanna be at the moment.

On a side note, SDZ Jam 2011's coming up and the SDZ juniors are expected to join.

The catch? To join with a SENIOR that's not in hip hop due to the fact the song choices by the DJ would be one funk + one hip hop song. And since this IS a freestyle competition, we have to pair up with someone of the funk genre, namely bboy/popping/locking, unless we'd like to have our asses kicked when the DJ suddenly switches to a funk song.

We can't even join with a bboy junior pffffffft if not I could've easily asked some of the bboy juniors from Gutsy. I have a bboy senior in mind but.. not sure if he'd like to partner with me.

Need to work on my fullstops. I guess when it comes to freestyling I'm a powerhouse with the moves that I churn out of my head nonstop but really, ending on a bad note when freestyling just spoils everything. Explains my freestyle segment in the Gusty Showcase video from camp. Watching it makes me cringe. Ugh.

But it's in October? So I have a lot of time to work on it.

For now I have to work on the KPop and Bukit Batok CC hiphop competition I'm joining. These are happening in July and August respectively. And another dance project that 4 juniors from hip hop (Azrul, Jevin, Ben Jr?, and me). Gonna find out which are the other 8 juniors from bboy and modern who are part of this too this Wednesday I guess!

Must. Refrain. From. Talking. Nonsense. To. Shijie. And. Azrul. On. Facebook!!!!!

This is why you need Twitter Azrul a.k.a. Zulzul!

Alright I've been doing nothing but mugging for ICP so I guess I'd better get back to it now!

CIAO

AGEK

2011-07-04T03:10:00.006+08:00

Blissful

I had photos of Beanie and Cia but those were taken while they were eating so Beanie demanded that they were to be deleted.

It's been weeks since I last saw these girls and catching up over Jap food and Gong Cha just felt really good. I've spent all of my 4 years in Mayflower Secondary School with them and hopefully we'll still be good friends down the road.

Cel's 18th

2011-07-04T03:03:00.003+08:00

The birthday girl

Rach drew the card. Can you identify which one is me?

(Hint: The one with orange hair)

They camwhored excessively with my DSLR while waiting for me to come home from dance practice.

Thanks ah.

Well at least I'm nice enough to put up the more glam camwhore shots of y'all ;)

Ugh me looking very stupid and worn out in my dance attire while they look more glam.

She looks so happy here I couldn't help but post this up. QTPie!

Brunch for the day: Home-made blueberry-chocolate pancakes, sambal chicken, ban mian and coffee power mixed with Milo powder!

And oh, Hershey's Chocolate Cake muffins + Sara Lee chocolate pound cake which we were meant to eat but didn't.

Determination

2011-07-02T19:31:00.004+08:00

(Photos from my Konica C35 film camera. These were taken somewhere around the middle of last year when the girls spent every weekend at my place having a study-sleepover.)

Happy 18th birthday Celine Xie!

This silly girl turned 18 yesterday at 8.58pm and both she and Rach came over to have a sleepover even after I told them I would end dance practice pretty late.

True enough, I only reached home at about.. 5 minutes to 12am? And quickly surprised the birthday girl with a candle on this Hershey's Chocolate Cake muffin my mom baked for her. The whole house smelt of the muffins and it tasted like a piece of chocolate heaven.

Had a rather chocolatey brunch with the girls today before lazing around. Mom toasted the muffins for us, and we made blueberry-chocolate pancakes before Rach went to S-11 and bought us sambal chili chicken and ban mian because they craved the chicken and I craved the ban mian and we set the tabled -- spoon, fork, plate, placemat and all -- before sitting down and sharing the meal to So You Think You Can Dance Season 7 on telly in the background.

Dear tWitch (SYTYCD S4. Only back in S7 for the all-star challenge), I love you!!

Had Milo + coffee powder (best combination ever -- Thanks Rach!) after heehee I feel like such a pig. Did some online shopping thanks to the babe suggesting this GMarket shop to me. "The clothes there are all in your style, you'd love it for sure." and certainly enough, I did!

So I really should stop procrastinating.

Note to self: Sit your ass down and study till 8.10pm before you go for your nightly jog, thanks.

Feeling Dope

2011-06-30T02:27:00.002+08:00

Okay no I'm just kidding about the title. But yeah I'm feeling pretty good with my new cap! It's New Era but fake New Era, sadly. Then again, who wants to get an authentic New Era cap all stinky and dirty cuz you wear it to dance too often? Not me fo sure.

Still saving to get an authentic one though, which would be awesome cuz I've been wanting one since forever!

My life of late has been revolving around dance, and I'm not exactly sure if that's a good thing or not. Being someone who hasn't been able to sort out her priorities since young... I'd guess that it's definitely not a good thing. I'm starting to feel so much for dance that studying has become my second priority. What with all the competitions I'm taking part in coming up, training and sessions have doubled. And this is just for the two competitions I'm in.. can you imagine my life during Waves training? Or if I'm currently in a relationship. I have no idea how I would be able to handle all that.

I need to start finding a balance between schoolwork and dance.

It sucks because I know I have to snap out of this, yet I don't really want to. Sometimes I wonder why I never went on ahead to pursue dance, even if it wasn't hip hop. Then again, it seems that some seniors know how I feel so yeah, if they were able to pull through this, I don't see why I myself can't.

And oh, something Muto found out today that made me really weirded out: I'm older than majority of the '93 seniors in SDZ. Hahaha prolly the 3rd oldest or the 4th. It's only weird because I respect these people as my seniors and to find out that I'm actually older than them in terms of birthdate.. IT'S JUST FUNNY HAHAH.

3 Things..

2011-06-29T01:06:00.002+08:00

..that I say WAY too often:

"True that."
"That is true." (with this weird higher tone when saying 'is')
"I'm not even kidding!"

Was discussing the topic of words that we use very often with Becca and Min when we had our break during ICP tutorial today.

Gone were the days where DMC/FT/1A/01 would come to class all fresh-faced and bubbly. We're all pretty dead in class now and it's only Tuesday. Our projects are draining us of our energy really. What with our deadlines for CA2 projects for DB, ICP and POM all coming up...

Can't wait for this to be over so that I can stop reporting to school all tired, groggy and cranky.

Last day of SDZ Camp and Whatnots

2011-06-29T00:22:00.002+08:00

I realised that I've yet to upload the photos of the last day of SDZ Camp 2011 which was at Sentosa. Really should've brought my DSLR for the other days of camp too. Regret not doing that.

We were there to play mass games and to just enjoy each other's company. The chillax time we had on Vivo's rooftop during dinner (we all 'tabaoed' food up to eat since there were over 15 of us eating dinner together) was pretty awesome too.. the mini-krump session by Carel and the different genres doing their own thing.. heh dance in general is awesome.

Kiatseng was desperately trying to avoid the camera..

..and he obviously failed. ;)

With our GL Belicia from modern ;)

TRUTH OR DARE TIME!

We played Truth or Dare but we made everyone in Gutsy choose 'dare' instead of truth cuz it was more fun like that.

Thank goodness when it came to me my dare was just to go up to this guy GL (it was Mingyi I think?) and ask for a hug, and he gave me one which was pretty sweet! SDZ people are so 'on' I swear. Poyang had the worst dare -- "Go up to Inez and kiss her on the cheek!!"

Going up to Dorothy and asking her, "Honey if you love me will you give me a smile?"

POYANG'S KISS HAHA

This was taken immediately after he kissed her. Nez's face turned a bright red after and the only thing she was saying was:

"WHAT THE HELL WHAT THE HELL WHAT THE HELL!?!??!?!????"

Shihui was supposed to jump in the middle of the other group (since they were playing some game of their own) and do this dance.

The funny thing was they all just looked up at her for a second and continued with their game. Hahaha poor girl!

Belicia's dare was to go up to Sam, take his hat off his head and wear it.

SWAG

Ken's dare:

"Go up to Wilson and touch his face seductively using both your hands!!!!!"

Gutsy! Minus Harry and Alicia.

A "WAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUP!!!?!?!?" photo while waiting for the monorail to Sentosa

Gutsy + Planet Boogie

(Oh I realised that Gutsy won 2nd for overall and Boogie won 1st. So this was like a 1st and 2nd placing photograph taken even before we got the results.. I guess.)

Chillaxing and practicing front + back flips and handstands on the beach.

See, dancers make the most out of everything. Go to Sentosa also must take the chance to practice bboy since it's better to practice those stuff there cuz of the soft(er) sand.

Okay bottom few photos taken by everyone but me haha!

Choonlong, Fiq and is that Zhenwei?????

I can't tell cuz he's a bit blur but yes that should be Zhenwei.

Back to the photos taken by me haha!

(I think Ben was trying to get everyone's attention cuz we were deciding on a dinner plan but he looked like he was doing the starting of the GP's item haha!)

WE TOOK UP ONE WHOLE CABIN YO.

It was as if we booked it hahah because when we boarded from Harbourfront MRT station it was completely empty and no one else boarded it so we just made ourselves at home.

The power of SDZ ;)

I really miss camp now! Really thankful for this experience though; it brought us all so much closer. I'm talking to the hip hop juniors that I see so often at training but wouldn't talk to just cuz we're all not that close.

And thanks to camp, the juniors from the 3 genres in SDZ -- modern, hip hop and bboy -- are close too! Before that we never saw the year 1 bboys nor did we see the year 1 moderners except those who were cross-genre (meaning they are in both bboy and hip hop/modern and hip hop). The seniors are closer to the juniors too I guess? So yeah all in all it was a pretty awesome camp.

Can't wait to be a GL next year when I have juniors! The year 1s were talking about it and we got all excited and giggly.

p.s. We've been Skyping almost every day since camp, I'm not even kidding.

Back to School

2011-06-27T00:15:00.002+08:00

Can't believe my holidays are already over and that school starts in like, 7hrs for me?

It's weird though. I thought I spent my holidays pretty wisely in terms of doing what I wanted to and what I needed to (okay not really since I've yet to study), but yet here I am thinking otherwise. 3 weeks was definitely not enough.

Then again, I thought the holidays were.. kind of a turning point for me. I've found myself, found my love for dance yet again, and found some friends I think are worth keeping.

It's no longer about holding back, but rather, doing what I've been wanting to do. Not just for dance, but for life in general. I've come to realise that if I hold back, I wouldn't become the person I want to eventually be in future, and holding back is exactly what I've been doing so far since the start of school.

On the other hand, this 3-week holiday made me lose some. I lost my faith (not only in people but myself), lost some contacts..

..lost some things I thought were worth keeping by my side.

Well I wouldn't say that I would never be able to find it again. But it will be hard, considering the change I've been through. Imagine something so stable, something you thought you could fall back on, suddenly shattered.

Your safety net, everything... gone.

But such is life, innit?

Chan's 18th

2011-06-17T03:22:00.009+08:00

Celebrated Channie's birthday on the 10th!

T'was a pretty awesome day. Glad she enjoyed it. First time I decorated a cake from The Icing Room! Weird thing is, the cake was kinda frozen hahaha. We had such a hard time cutting it. Had dinner at Sakae Sushi (salmon spammmm yum tum tum!) and then went drinking @ TGIFridays.

Well okay, now that I'm done posting up the photos I think I should go sleep now or something. Working tomorrow then I'm either going to support the SDZ seniors at NTU Funk Jam or I'm gonna be out with Cel and Rae.

Rae's having a stall at the *SCAPE flea tomorrow!

Oh okay anyone wants to session next Wednesday at *SCAPE? Geisel and I will be there fo sure ;)

Stoked to watch the seniors do their thing at the NTU Funk Jam tomorrow (if I can go down)!!

I have the urge to go drinking though. Even though one drink has like.. tons of calories. I need to get high, so much on my mind recently.

Someone Save me from Myself

2011-06-13T01:53:00.004+08:00

Pretty stoked for SDZ camp tomorrow. One thing I really hate is the fact that it's not gonna be an overnight camp cuz SP banned overnight camps.

I hope it won't be awkward though cuz we'll be mixing with the moderners and the bboys. Which is pretty cool considering the fact that we've never met before. I guess that's why this is more of a bonding camp and not a training camp? I hope I get a few hip hoppers in the same group as me though, and I hope I get a bboy as my GL heehee it'll be so much fun seeing what they can do!

To digress a bit, I'm sick and tired of myself.

It's the same old problem, the same old story. I'm so tired of hearing it myself and I'm tired of telling it. People around me are getting rather tired of hearing it too so what's the point?

I have a feeling I made my mom's birthday one of the worst cuz of my random outburst after dinner on how I just wanted to induce myself to puke all my food out because I didn't wanna eat in the first place but the 'rents kinda made me. I was so mad that I had to eat after jogging, but it was my mom's birthday dinner so yeah. I don't think anything will make things better.

Can I just... just pass this phase ASAP?? It took me such a long time to get over it the last time and after that I was so comfortable in my own skin. I loved that feeling. You're just confident no matter what. I'm losing the battle with myself.

I feel so miserable I don't even.

Happy birthdayssss

2011-06-12T05:00:00.005+08:00

Heehee bought a wing ring from the *Scape weekend flea (after we celebrated Channie's birthday) to go with my favourite necklace.

Oh on a side-note, happy belated birthdays to Wee and Channie!

To my dearest Chan, I remember how awkward it was the first time I met you (and Suina) when we were waiting outside O School for our first Hip Hop 3 course to start. I didn't talk to you at all, only Inez and Kailing did cuz y'all were talking about some KPop concert and also cuz they sorta knew you through Jolyn?? Never expected that I'd be so close to you now!

You've always been there to listen to my rants, always making me feel less shitty.. you always try so hard to cheer me up everytime I'm down (which has been pretty often of late). I'm so terribly thankful that O School and dance as a whole has brought us together, as cliche as that sounds. You, Nez, Kailing, Jolyn, Muto, Tiffy, Lazzie, Daryl, Guohui.. all of y'all. Love how our passion for one thing has brought us all closer as friends. Dance makes me happy, and the people I dance with make me even happier :)

I LOVE YOU CHAN. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

To Weetzeeee, it's funny how the guy I expected to talk to the least from CASS camp (cuz you annoyed me when you told me "Good morning!" only to tell me "Not you la!" when I turned back. I STILL REMEMBER YOU DOUCHE) is now one of my closest friends. Its only been what, 3 months since I knew you?? But we're already quite tight. I'm sorry I always do stupid things like ignore you. As in, when I REALLY ignore you. I know that must've hurt you quite a bit. Didn't do it on purpose, you know that right? I wouldn't wanna hurt you on purpose. :)

Thanks for wanting to fight for me. What you've done for me as a friend.. is something no one else has really done for me? Well with the exception of a few of my best friends. But yeah, your rants on Twitter, your anon questions on Tumblr.. I'll remember them no matter what.

I hope you know that if something ever happened to you, I'll fight for you too, regardless. Because you're a friend worth fighting for. Aw am I sweet or what hahaha.

Just know that if you're ever wondering, don't ever change your annoying self. Love you! ♥♥♥

I would love to blog about their birthday celebrations now but my iPhoto's being a bitch. It keeps hanging whenever I try to import mah foutous. UGH.

And oh, happy 48th birthday Mom.

Whoops, did I just expose your birthday on my blog? ;)

Thanks for being my pillar, my super woman. Thanks for always being there for me no matter what, even though I'm such a stubborn person. Well okay fine we both are, that's why Dad says I get my stubbornness from you. I guess that isn't a bad thing. :) But yes, thank you.. for being my mother. I appreciate having you around even though we have our differences and we argue a lot from time to time. I know you mean well.

People say you should do things for yourself and not for others but.. You make me wanna pursue dance for you, just cuz of that one moment when you came down to support Perennial for teenSupreme and I saw for myself how proud you were of me when I came down the stage. I actually managed to catch a glimpse of your face.. and until now that's still the best I've ever felt since.. ever.

What I would like to tell you can't really be expressed in words. Just know that I love you Mom, I don't know what I'd do or who I'd be without you.

(But note that your daughter's already 18 so lax on the rules a bit, pleeeeeeease? :))

p.s. The photos are done uploading! But it's now 5.44am and someone has to get up at 7.30am to get ready for work so.. yes.

On another side note,

I've been listening to the songs by A Rocket to the Moon: